Thanks for the reviews ExBobble06, Queen Hatshepsut II & Shaami, If anyone
else reviewed, I'm afraid I can't obtain our reviews at present.
~-~
It's been about a week since the incident at the park with the Yugi-tachi & things have gone downhill drastically. It was fine at first but then at about 21:00 (which is 9pm Todo), Bakura said he was going out for a walk. He didn't come back until well after midnight & was in a terrible mood, I asked what was wrong but he just pushed me away, literally & hard.
I still have a huge bruise from it & have been staying off school because of it. Bakura is still so angry & I still have no idea why, to be honest, I'm too afraid to ask. He's acting like he was before, only, this time he has a body of his own so has no concern for mine.
I've been avoiding the phone for the entire time & turned the volume off so it doesn't annoy him. I've had a few calls from Malik, asking if I'm okay, but I haven't returned them & I know he's getting worried. If I answer, or call him back I know I'll start crying & tell him everything, I just can't afford to do that.
I know there's a reason for Bakura's change, something happened to make him hurt again & he's gone back to hiding in the dark. It hurts me so much to see him like this again; I miss my Kura so much. The others wouldn't understand though, they'd just make things worse, make him even more angry, even more hurt, I won't let that happen, I won't betray him, Kura means too much to me.
The other problem I've been having over this period is the door; Yami's been over a few times, as has Malik, possibly the Yugi-tachi too. On one such occasion, near the beginning, Yami had knocked on the door & I went to answer it, Bakura pulled me onto the stairs painfully & placed a dagger at my throat. He made it very clear that no one was entering the house & that it wasn't anyone's business.
I don't know where the dagger came from, nor was I going to ask, I just feebly agreed with him. Once he had returned upstairs I went into the living room & cried myself to sleep. That was probably the most terrifying experience of my life & it scares me a lot just thinking about it.
Anyway, it's been a living hell I can't escape from, I just hope the bruises clear up soon, they're very painful for one & I can return to school again & get away from this constant fear. I know everyone will ask where I've been & why I haven't answered the door or phone, but I've had ample time to think of an excuse for that.
As far as everyone else is concerned, I've been bedridden with illness & since the phone & door are downstairs, I couldn't answer either. As for Bakura, he's been too busy looking after me to pay any attention to either. I've learnt enough from his to lie to them easily, even Malik. I can make them believe it without question & I will, because I have to.
No more harm will come to my yami, I won't allow it, besides, he'll talk to me eventually, I just have to wait, I just have to be here for him. What ever caused this pain in him however, won't be so lucky. He's been through so much already; can't the world give him a break? He deserves to be happy, he really does. I don't understand why he's had to endure so much pain; I don't see why anyone should.
I'm removed from my musings when I feel cold steel pressed against my throat again, I tense immediately & close my eyes tightly, why is this happening? I haven't done anything to make him angry have I? I don't want to die.
"Do you fear this Ryou? What are you afraid of?"
My yami's voice is blank, which scares me even more. Still, I know I have to answer him quickly & truthfully, otherwise I'll make him angry.
"Y-yes, I d-do. I-I'm a-afraid of death y-yami."
I really shouldn't have stuttered so much, he won't like it, I can't help it though, I'm so terrified right now.
"Why? Death is freedom Ryou, freedom from pain. You shouldn't fear that."
His voice is still empty, though I can feel the pain he's hidden from his voice & I know now that he's ready to talk to me. I'm so relieved, I really thought he might hurt me for a while, now I know the blade is there because he's afraid, it means I can't push him too hard to answer something, he'll simply tell me what he wants to. This game I can handle, I've done it before, even if there was no dangerous object involved before.
"It's natural for people to fear the unknown yami, I can't help it."
I've managed to remove the stuttering now, that's a better start.
"It's a weakness Ryou, one you should avoid. Learn from my mistakes hikari."
His voice holds bitterness to it this time, I want to comfort him, but I know I'm not allowed to move, I'm not allowed to see his pain. He's trying so hard to protect me from it now.
"People have to learn from their own mistakes & no one can be completely strong Bakura, it just isn't possible, perfection doesn't exist & people use pain to define happiness."
He snorts in disdain, but I know it's not meant as a disagreement, only that he dislikes the truth. Bakura wants us both to be strong, to have no weakness & feel no pain, it's a nice dream & he doesn't want to abandon it. I don't really blame him either, accepting that life is pain isn't really too appealing.
"I never meant to hurt you Ryou."
I nod slightly, very slightly since the blade is still in place. He removes it carefully afterwards, allowing me to face him. He pulls me into an embrace before I can look at his face however.
"I really am sorry Ry." His voice is only a murmur, but it holds so much emotion.
I snuggle into the embrace, glad to have my caring Kura back, I really don't want to lose him ever again, he means the world to me.
"It's okay Kura, everything will be fine." I pause briefly before asking the question that's been bothering me so much. "Will you tell me what happened now?"
I feel him stiffen slightly, but he soon forces himself to relax & sighs softly.
"I suppose. After you went upstairs with Malik, I called Yami, but he wasn't there, so I had to leave a message. I asked him to meet me where we first met at 9, but he never showed up."
There is so much pain & disappointment in his voice, I wish it wasn't there. I hug him tighter, wanting to remove it, even though I know I can't. He laughs slightly at my attempt however, which is much more than I had hoped. He kisses my head lightly before pulling away & heading upstairs.
"Bakura?"
I have one more thing to ask before he goes.
"Nan desu ka?"
He sounds bored, but I know better.
"Where did the knife come from Bakura?"
I want to know & I'm not afraid to ask anymore.
"I've had it for a long time Ry, I just kept it hidden so you wouldn't worry."
His voice is nonchalant & fades as he walks up the stairs, avoiding my next question, why he has it.
So Yami is the cause of all this trouble again? I wonder why he wouldn't show up though? Everything was going great with them. Could Yugi have talked him out of it? Why would he have come over so much though? This just doesn't make any sense; perhaps I'll have to pay the baka pharaoh a visit?
~-~
There Todo, more angst, you really have warped my poor fic & my entire style of writing actually, warui shoujo. Oh & the fic will probably be finished soon btw.
~-~
It's been about a week since the incident at the park with the Yugi-tachi & things have gone downhill drastically. It was fine at first but then at about 21:00 (which is 9pm Todo), Bakura said he was going out for a walk. He didn't come back until well after midnight & was in a terrible mood, I asked what was wrong but he just pushed me away, literally & hard.
I still have a huge bruise from it & have been staying off school because of it. Bakura is still so angry & I still have no idea why, to be honest, I'm too afraid to ask. He's acting like he was before, only, this time he has a body of his own so has no concern for mine.
I've been avoiding the phone for the entire time & turned the volume off so it doesn't annoy him. I've had a few calls from Malik, asking if I'm okay, but I haven't returned them & I know he's getting worried. If I answer, or call him back I know I'll start crying & tell him everything, I just can't afford to do that.
I know there's a reason for Bakura's change, something happened to make him hurt again & he's gone back to hiding in the dark. It hurts me so much to see him like this again; I miss my Kura so much. The others wouldn't understand though, they'd just make things worse, make him even more angry, even more hurt, I won't let that happen, I won't betray him, Kura means too much to me.
The other problem I've been having over this period is the door; Yami's been over a few times, as has Malik, possibly the Yugi-tachi too. On one such occasion, near the beginning, Yami had knocked on the door & I went to answer it, Bakura pulled me onto the stairs painfully & placed a dagger at my throat. He made it very clear that no one was entering the house & that it wasn't anyone's business.
I don't know where the dagger came from, nor was I going to ask, I just feebly agreed with him. Once he had returned upstairs I went into the living room & cried myself to sleep. That was probably the most terrifying experience of my life & it scares me a lot just thinking about it.
Anyway, it's been a living hell I can't escape from, I just hope the bruises clear up soon, they're very painful for one & I can return to school again & get away from this constant fear. I know everyone will ask where I've been & why I haven't answered the door or phone, but I've had ample time to think of an excuse for that.
As far as everyone else is concerned, I've been bedridden with illness & since the phone & door are downstairs, I couldn't answer either. As for Bakura, he's been too busy looking after me to pay any attention to either. I've learnt enough from his to lie to them easily, even Malik. I can make them believe it without question & I will, because I have to.
No more harm will come to my yami, I won't allow it, besides, he'll talk to me eventually, I just have to wait, I just have to be here for him. What ever caused this pain in him however, won't be so lucky. He's been through so much already; can't the world give him a break? He deserves to be happy, he really does. I don't understand why he's had to endure so much pain; I don't see why anyone should.
I'm removed from my musings when I feel cold steel pressed against my throat again, I tense immediately & close my eyes tightly, why is this happening? I haven't done anything to make him angry have I? I don't want to die.
"Do you fear this Ryou? What are you afraid of?"
My yami's voice is blank, which scares me even more. Still, I know I have to answer him quickly & truthfully, otherwise I'll make him angry.
"Y-yes, I d-do. I-I'm a-afraid of death y-yami."
I really shouldn't have stuttered so much, he won't like it, I can't help it though, I'm so terrified right now.
"Why? Death is freedom Ryou, freedom from pain. You shouldn't fear that."
His voice is still empty, though I can feel the pain he's hidden from his voice & I know now that he's ready to talk to me. I'm so relieved, I really thought he might hurt me for a while, now I know the blade is there because he's afraid, it means I can't push him too hard to answer something, he'll simply tell me what he wants to. This game I can handle, I've done it before, even if there was no dangerous object involved before.
"It's natural for people to fear the unknown yami, I can't help it."
I've managed to remove the stuttering now, that's a better start.
"It's a weakness Ryou, one you should avoid. Learn from my mistakes hikari."
His voice holds bitterness to it this time, I want to comfort him, but I know I'm not allowed to move, I'm not allowed to see his pain. He's trying so hard to protect me from it now.
"People have to learn from their own mistakes & no one can be completely strong Bakura, it just isn't possible, perfection doesn't exist & people use pain to define happiness."
He snorts in disdain, but I know it's not meant as a disagreement, only that he dislikes the truth. Bakura wants us both to be strong, to have no weakness & feel no pain, it's a nice dream & he doesn't want to abandon it. I don't really blame him either, accepting that life is pain isn't really too appealing.
"I never meant to hurt you Ryou."
I nod slightly, very slightly since the blade is still in place. He removes it carefully afterwards, allowing me to face him. He pulls me into an embrace before I can look at his face however.
"I really am sorry Ry." His voice is only a murmur, but it holds so much emotion.
I snuggle into the embrace, glad to have my caring Kura back, I really don't want to lose him ever again, he means the world to me.
"It's okay Kura, everything will be fine." I pause briefly before asking the question that's been bothering me so much. "Will you tell me what happened now?"
I feel him stiffen slightly, but he soon forces himself to relax & sighs softly.
"I suppose. After you went upstairs with Malik, I called Yami, but he wasn't there, so I had to leave a message. I asked him to meet me where we first met at 9, but he never showed up."
There is so much pain & disappointment in his voice, I wish it wasn't there. I hug him tighter, wanting to remove it, even though I know I can't. He laughs slightly at my attempt however, which is much more than I had hoped. He kisses my head lightly before pulling away & heading upstairs.
"Bakura?"
I have one more thing to ask before he goes.
"Nan desu ka?"
He sounds bored, but I know better.
"Where did the knife come from Bakura?"
I want to know & I'm not afraid to ask anymore.
"I've had it for a long time Ry, I just kept it hidden so you wouldn't worry."
His voice is nonchalant & fades as he walks up the stairs, avoiding my next question, why he has it.
So Yami is the cause of all this trouble again? I wonder why he wouldn't show up though? Everything was going great with them. Could Yugi have talked him out of it? Why would he have come over so much though? This just doesn't make any sense; perhaps I'll have to pay the baka pharaoh a visit?
~-~
There Todo, more angst, you really have warped my poor fic & my entire style of writing actually, warui shoujo. Oh & the fic will probably be finished soon btw.
