THE SPAWN

By Unknowner

Author's Note: Man, that took way too long to write. Sorry. Thanks to all my reviewers, and to all those that actually waited for the update! In legal news: Nick owns the show Invader Zim, but only we, the fans, can truly own him. By cancelling Zim and leaving his origins and future undefined, they've made Zim the ultimate fan property. So nyah to you, MTV networks! And awaaaay we go...

Gaz sat on the porch, sipping at her Starbuck's coffee-flavored caffeine product and watching her son, perched on his surfboard out in the ocean. Zim walked out the door, clad in an outfit far more human than the Irken uniform he'd arrived in. The last night had been so nice... such an emotional release for the both of them. But now, he had some unfinished buisness.

"How long has he been out there?"

"Since before sunup." Gaz took a sip of her `coffee'. "He hasn't even ridden one wave. He just... sits there. I think it's his way of meditating... trying to work crap out. You know." She turned her gaze to Zim, who just smiled.

"We've all been there. You played Tetris, Gir watches the Scary Monkey Show, I torture large insects..."

"What?"

"Er.. never mind..."

"You should really go talk to him." Zim's head whipped over to Gaz, his face pale.

"What?!?"

"He needs reassurance."

"But... I-" He broke off abruptly. For a moment, the only sounds were the crashing surf and a few seagulls fighting over a discarded chunk of pesto bread. "You're right." Without another word, Zim yanked his sweater off, running into the surf. With an epic-looking dive, he submerged.

-Pain-

The only thing his brain could register. It had been so long... it felt as if he had been dunked in boiling nacho cheese, scalding and thick, sapping his strength. He forced his arms to move, to keep treading water. Despite cramps that threatened to paralyze him, his limbs continued an irregular rhythm, keeping him moving. Suddenly, what felt like an eternity later, the burning ceased, and a healing heat seeped in. Zim's eyes opened as his muscles relaxed, and he realized that he'd overshot Zed by a dozen yards or so in the fog of pain. Backtreading, Zim surfaced by his son's board, his squeedily spooch crying out for air.

"Dad? What are you doing out here?" Zim coughed as he tried to talk.

"I.. thought you might want to talk." Zed smiled slightly and extended a hand to help the drenched Irken up onto the board. "So what's on your mind?"

"Nothing, really," Zed paused. "And everything."

"I guess this is pretty confusing."

"Not really. I mean, I'm still who I was a week ago, and so are you, but... I'm part extraterrestrial. Every conspiracy freak's dream come true. I mean, this has been hidden from me my whole life. I don't know whether to be mad, or insatiably curious, or... or what. I just... "

"You want answers. Right?"

"Exactly. I mean, Uncle Dib told me the story about how you and Mom fell in love, so I know how I got here... but I don't know much about being an Irken." Zim understood a bit. As a human, Zed had a background, a heritage. Now...

"Don't worry about it. I think I can arrange something." Zim smiled oddly. "After all, I am the amazing High Councillor ZIM!"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I'm going to have to travel to and from Irk a lot, and if you and your Mom want to..."

Irk. An alien planet. And his home.

"Okay..." Zed paused. He'd have to face himself sometime... ^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^- ^-^-^

"SQUEEGEE FUNK! IT GROWZ IN MAH TOEZ- DOEZ IT SHOWZ?" Gidj stormed down the street, screaming. "POTATOEEEEES! WITH AN `E'! AL GORE'S SPELLINGE SYSTEME WORKEDE FORE MEE!!!" A crowd of bystanders crowded around, including a very familiar old geezer in a white lab coat.

"What's wrong with her?"

"...dear sweet god, NO!" Professor Membrane grabbed a clunky device out of his pocket. "I hope it's not too late..." $#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$#$ BEEPEEEPEEPEEPEEPEEPEEP~!

Back at the house, Zed picked up a cell phone from the mid-80's. "Zed's phone, Zed speaking, speak to Zed."

"Grandson! Your little friend is in the town, acting like a rabid spleen monkey!"

"..so?"

"Aren't you worried?"

"She's always a little weird."

"No! She-"

"Is probably on a sugar rush. Chill, gramps. If I know Gidj, she'll run out of steam right about-"

THUD

"Now."

"...She collapsed!"

"Duh. When too much sugar is in the system, the pancreas takes over and eliminates all sugar in the person's body. It's called science. Try it sometime!"

"..." The professor hung up.

"So where were we, dad?" Zed continued staring at the ceiling from his sprawled position on the couch.

"Right here." Zim mirrored his son's inverted pose on a recliner.

"Oh yeah." Zed smiled. He was an alien. And a human. His dad was head of government over an entire galactic empire. And a complete goofball. And for now...

He could live with that.





A/N: No, it's not over yet. There's one more chapter to go, more of a "wrapping up" thing than anything else. Oh, and Jennifer Gazzette was kind enouh to agree to do an illustration for Chapter 6! I'll post the URL next time!