Reaching for The Moon by ThePekingNoodle
AN: For those who don't know, fanfiction.net has not been allowing the PN to update this week. The nerve!! Many thanks to Dark Angel Reflections for letting me post on their board while fanfiction.net was down.. After all, PN has a responsibility to the mental health of her readers. Hmmm, that is if PN's readers have any mental health… That's an interesting question to ponder. PN will now get back to her regularly scheduled programming. PN
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Chapter Eighty-Seven: So Near and Yet So Far
In which some difficult words are said and some truths are faced…
Max was still feeling slightly shaky from the aftereffects of the tasers, so she settled down on the overstuffed sofa and tried to relax while they waited for the food to arrive. Logan stood and stared out of the windows, seemingly as reluctant as she was to begin their talk. It was a relief when there was a knock on the door. Logan opened it to admit a waiter who was pushing a cart full of covered dishes. The waiter silently set the food out on the small table that was placed near the windows. When he was finished, Logan escorted him to the door of the suite, handing him a tip before he left.
"Dinner is served." Logan observed in a casual voice. The tension in his tall frame belied his words.
Max didn't answer as she joined him at the table. The food was delicious and they busied themselves eating. Conversation was minimal by mutual consent. They let more serious matters wait until they had finished their meal.
Finally, Max pushed back from the table. She rose and stretched. "I think I'm going to catch some sleep. Which bedroom do you prefer?"
Logan just looked at her. "Right now, I prefer that we do some talking."
"Maybe I don't want to talk to you," she snapped at him. "Maybe I've had enough of your talking lately."
He rose and stood facing her, forcing her to look up at him. "If I hadn't figured out what you were up to and got here in time, you'd be on your way to Manticore as a guest of the Colonel. We damn well better do some talking."
Max glared at him. "If you hadn't pulled your macho Neanderthal crap on me, we could have worked together on this from the beginning. When are you going to get that I'm not some fragile flower that needs to be protected?" She was clearly still angry with him.
"When I don't have to shoot two men and pick you up off the floor after you've been shot with tasers." Logan retorted, his own temper rising. "When I've gotten you to someplace that you'll be safe from the Colonel and Manticore."
"This is useless." Max declared angrily. "Why did you bother to come after me anyway? Why aren't you back in Seattle with Ashley?"
"Because I'm not in love with Ashley. I'm in love with you." Logan snapped. He stopped dead as he realized what he had said.
There was dead silence in the suite. Max stood there staring at him. She was speechless. Logan turned his back to her and stalked over to the windows.
Max found her voice. "Logan…what did you just say?"
"Forget what I just said. Its irrelevant to the situation." He refused to look at her.
Max frowned. She walked over to stand next to him. "You said you're in love with me. And you want me to forget it?"
"It doesn't matter. It can't matter. It isn't safe for you. Not with the Colonel having me in his sights." He continued to stare out of the window.
Max's voice was soft. "You're wrong. It does matter. It's the only thing that matters."
Logan still wouldn't meet her eyes, "Damn it, Max, have you listened to a word I've said? The Colonel isn't going to magically go away. You can't be around me. If you are, sooner or later he's going to find out who you are. Your father trusted me to take care of you and that doesn't include exposing you to Lydecker. It doesn't matter what I feel about you. I can't let it matter." The last words were spoken so softly that a normal human wouldn't have been able to hear them.
"I can't not let it matter." Max answered him. "Because I'm in love with you too."
When he heard her last words, Logan finally looked directly at her. His eyes reflected a myriad of emotions. Foremost among them was anguish. "Max…don't. Let it go. We can't. Do you think I haven't thought about this and wished things were different? That I could keep you with me? But I can't. You have to leave. The best thing for you is to forget me. It isn't safe for you to be with me."
Max stared back at him. "Where is it safe, Logan? Hidden away in some cabin on top of a mountain somewhere? Hiding in a hut in a jungle? Or on some island in the middle of the ocean?"
"Any one of those places would be safer than being with me."
"I don't care. I want to be with you."
"I do care. I want you alive and safe."
Max looked at him. "So what exactly do you plan on doing?" Her voice was dangerously soft.
" I plan on getting you to a safe place. Then I plan on dealing with the Colonel." His voice was as soft as hers.
"No." Her response was immediate and unequivocal.
"Max…" he began.
"I'm not going, Logan. And you can't make me." Max stood there, her very posture emphasizing her defiance and determination.
"Maybe I can." He stared at her, his eyes boring into hers.
"Try." She called his bluff. "Even if you and your friend Sebastian manage to send me off somewhere, I'll just come back. I refuse to let you face Lydecker alone."
Logan sighed and ran a hand through his hair, making it spike up even more than it normally did. He began to pace. Max walked over and sat back on the sofa. She watched him with apparent calm. Despite her outward appearance, her insides felt like they were tangled in knots. Joy at Logan's admission warred with anger at his obstinacy and worry for his safety.
I can't believe he admitted he's in love with me.
Fat lot of good its going to do you. He's as stubborn as you are.
I'm not leaving him.
Good luck getting him to agree to that.
"Logan stop pacing. You're going to wear a hole in the carpet. Besides, you're making me dizzy." She tried to lighten the atmosphere.
"You're making me crazy," he responded in all seriousness.
Damn it you fool, how could you say what you did? She'll never agree to leave now.
It was a slip.
That's an understatement.
Shut up. I have enough problems without this.
Good luck getting her to do what you want her to.
It's not what I want, its what's best for her.
I don't think you're going to be able to convince her of that.
"Logan can we table this discussion until the morning?" Max broke the silence.
"Waiting until the morning isn't going to change anything."
Max just looked at him. He felt himself falling under the spell she seemed to be able to weave around him so effortlessly. Without conscious volition he found himself dropping down to sit next to her. This close he could smell the soft perfume that was so uniquely hers. Max reached up and gently pulled his head down to hers. Their lips met and he was lost. His arms went around her and he pulled her close as the passion they shared took over. When they broke apart he could feel himself shaking with the force of his emotions.
"I love you," he whispered huskily, unable to stop himself.
"I love you, too," she responded without any hesitation. Her eyes were shining as she stared up at him.
"What are we going to do?" The words were torn from him as caution warred with a primitive feeling of triumph at her words. Part of him wanted to shout from the rooftops and tell the world that she was his. He felt like the Neanderthal that she had compared him to earlier. She was his. His mate. His possession. Just as he was hers. He didn't want to ever let her go. Fuck Manticore and Fuck the Colonel. Max was his and no one was going to take her away from him.
"Love me, Logan. For tonight…just love me." Max was saying softly and confidently.
"Oh god, Max…" He threw caution to the wind as he rose and scooped her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.
End of Chapter Eighty Seven…TBC…
