Can't Make You Love Me
By
Ponderer
Chapter Three
The music Fred and George were recently playing was embarrassing so Harry was glad he was outside, not knowing how wired and not caring the party people were. He had been outside for the past hour, sitting and enjoying the quiet. He had done as Hermione had said and went to find his dashing girlfriend to find her laughing at some random thing Percy had been telling her. He hadn't had the heart to go intrude on their conversation. She had looked so deliriously happy chatting away with his friends and to tell the truth, he was jealous that they had her attention. He knew this would happen tonight. He knew that her attention would be elsewhere if he had this party. So, it was mostly his fault for his own jealousy. It wasn't hers. She was just playing hostess and he couldn't blame her for that. It actually just made him love her more.
Wow, love? He wasn't so sure about that. But, why would he have thought that if it wasn't true? Christiana was a beautiful person, inside and out, but did he really love her? He still got butterflies when she entered the room, and he loved the feel of her skin. But, was that love? Ever since he had learned about his parent's past, Harry wanted to experience the love they shared. He knew the love they shared had been amazing, mostly because it saved his life numerous times. It protected him at all costs, and whenever he had children, he wanted the love he and his spouse shared to protect them, and so forth. But, he needed to find that love first. Was Christiana it? Harry wasn't so sure. Yes, he cared for her deeply, and he wasn't quite so positive that he wanted to settle down right yet. So, what he was feeling was simply caring and deep liking for a girl. There was no harm in that. For what he was sure of love was his family. Ron, the Weaslys, Sirius, his old professors, his colleagues, Hermione… His heart fluttered at the thought of her name. God, he groaned. Now wasn't the time to remember old feelings toward that certain witch. No, right now he should go back inside to the party, his girlfriend's party. He should be happy right now. Especially for her. It was her night, after all, and he was out making a prick of himself. It was her moment to shine.
Just as he was about to head inside, a breathless Ron came running around the corner, looking around him. "Harry!" he exclaimed, catching up to his friend. "Where have you been? I've been looking for you for quite some time!"
"Oh, I'm sorry mate. I've just been outside for some fresh air. It's sure beautiful out tonight, isn't it?" Harry asked, sitting beside Ron on the bench in their backyard.
"Yes, it is. Won't you tell me what's wrong? You've been out of it all night. Is Christiana's leaving anything to do with it?" Ron asked, his blue eyes showing his deep concern for his scar-bearing friend.
"I'm just hurt I guess. I mean, our relationship is just taking off and I don't know if I love her or not. It's so hard Ron," Harry sighed, placing his head in his hands.
"Harry, you're probably just feeling upset that she's leaving you behind for something greater and you're trying to talk yourself out of getting hurt. I know, it's a big change for it, but you'll get through this, together. You've got me, Hermione, and everyone else here to back you up. If you honestly think you feel nothing for her, leave her now. But, I don't think you want to. You may not love her, but you might in the future. Just, quite being such a bonehead and get inside. Stop feeling sorry for yourself already," Ron explained, giving a big breath at the end from saying such a long sentence so quickly. Harry and he both looked up when they heard Christiana laughing inside. Harry smiled and Ron saw it. "She's a wonderful bird Harry. Don't let her get away? Not like the last time," Ron said more quietly, before getting up. He looked towards Harry before his friend got up as well and they silently went back inside.
"Oh Harry! Where have you been? I've been going crazy with worry," Christiana explained before giving him a kiss on the cheek. Grabbing his hands, she smiled up at him curiously. "Is everything okay?"
It took Harry a minute to answer, since he didn't really want to lie but one look at her happy face and he replied, "Yes, I'm okay."
Some time later, when everyone had left the flat, only the four were left to clean the place. Again, Fred and George had made most of the horrible trash around and left as quickly as everything was destroyed. They were always the life of the party, Mrs. Weasly yelling at them every step of the way. Lavender had fallen asleep sometime earlier from all the dancing and drinking and had been carried to Ron's room before they started the cleaning process. Hermione had slipped her shoes off her feet, letting her hair loose before putting it up into a messy ponytail. She started on the kitchen with Ron while Harry and Christiana concentrated on the living room, probably the worst of the whole house.
"Did you enjoy yourself tonight?" Harry asked her, opening yet another trash bag for the empty cups and plates scattered everywhere.
"Yes, oh it was so great to see everyone once more. I don't know what I'll do with myself once I'm gone. They sure know how to party," she laughed, pushing back a loose piece of hair behind her ear. "Thank you for tonight. It was wonderful," she smiled.
"You're welcome," he replied, going back to work.
"You know, tonight is our last night together," she said, when he walked her back to her place since she couldn't apperate, later that night. Ron and Hermione were still cleaning everything, and it seemed endless.
"Yes, three whole months away from one another. How do you think we'll survive?" Harry chuckled, wrapping his arms around her waist as they stood in front of her door.
"What you mean is, how will I survive? I don't want to be away from you Harry," she said sadly, tears brimming her eyes.
"Hey, don't cry," he sighed, holding onto her while she cried softly. "It'll go by so fast. And we'll write to one another, and we'll call. It'll be like you've never left."
"Yes, I know. I'm sorry, it's just so difficult I suppose. We've only just started this relationship, it feels it anyway," Christiana replied, wiping her cheeks with the back of her delicate hands.
They stood silently for a moment before Harry broke the silence. "I guess I'd better be going then. Call me once you get in?" It had been previously decided they would say their good-byes the night before so it wouldn't take forever at the airport in the early morning. Besides, Harry had work and she refused to let him miss it for her.
"I will," she replied, nodding as well.
"Okay then. I'll see you then?" he asked, leaning closer.
"Yes," she said and she let him kiss her passionately for a few moments before reluctantly pulling away, opening her door before looking back once more at him. Giving him one more smile, she closed the door, before bursting into tears once again. Harry stared at the door for a few minutes, wanting to hold her again, to tell her to stay with him, but he knew it would only get harder and it was her job. She had to go. So, he turned away, and slowly walked back to the flat, simply to clear his head.
"How do you think it went?" Hermione asked, settling herself next to Ron on the couch with a cup of tea in her hands.
"I don't know, to tell you the truth. He was so upset earlier, not knowing his deep his feelings really were but I know he loves her on some level. He wouldn't be this upset about it if he didn't have some feeling for her," Ron replied, shrugging.
"Yes, I suppose. I just feel so awful, you know? We've always been able to make him feel better, or laugh, anything. But, I don't think we can this time. Not until she comes back. And it's silly because she hasn't even left yet and he's already miserable," Hermione sighed, shaking her head.
"He'll get over it. Harry's a strong guy, he can tough it out. We'll just keep him busy in the meantime. He'll be wrapped in work all day, and at night, we'll talk and avoid the subject. Shouldn't be too hard," Ron explained, hoping it would work. Both knew it most likely wouldn't, but it wouldn't hurt trying. Just then, the door opened to reveal a somber Harry, who barely smiled at his friends.
"Hey Harry. I just made some tea, would you like some?" Hermione asked, already heading to the kitchen.
"No, I just might go to bed," Harry replied, taking his shoes off at the door with the rest and nodding.
"Are you sure mate? Maybe we could talk or something?" Ron offered as Hermione came back to sit on the couch to watch her friend sadly.
"Nah, I've got work in the morning. I'll see you," he replied instead and headed upstairs to his room. Both friends watched him sadly disappear silently, not knowing what to say or do. This may be one time when they couldn't help him. And that hurt them as much as it hurt Harry.
Author's Note: Ah! Look at how fast this came out! This is the result mostly because fanfiction.net is down, and I have nothing else to do! And because I don't feel like doing any of my four reports. Gah, I don't want to do any of them. It's winter break, why should I have homework? Honestly. But, enough of my ranting, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter, mostly because Christiana is 'gone' for the time being. I know Harry seems sad, but it'll be over soon. Or, will it? Ah, I love being the writer. Only I can decide what happens. All right, well continue to review chapters! Watch out for a new chapter sometime soon! Thanks again!
-- Ponderer
