Why Won't You Talk To Me?

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders
A/N I'm still glad you guys like this!

* Soda's POV*
*That night*

" Pony?" I said quietly and tried to shake my little brother awake.
He was trembling on the bed and swiping at the air with his hands.
" Come on little buddy," I tried again.
I sat up and moved to the other side of the bed so that I was now facing Ponyboy. I brushed his hair back from his forehead, and noticed somewhere in the back of my mind how sweaty it was. I shook his shoulders again and called out his name. I saw his eyelids flutter. Was he waking up? Slowly, my little brother's eyes opened and he looked at me with an expression of terror and confusion.
" Soda?" he whispered.
" Yeah, what's wrong Ponyboy?" I asked him gently.
He sat up in bed and leaned against me. I stroked his hair and waited for him to talk to me.
" I had a dream," he began.
" About what?" I asked him.
Pony didn't say a word. He just started straight ahead and made little whimpering noises.
" Pony?"
" I'm sorry Soda" he whispered.
" For what?"
" I can't tell you," he said dully.
"Why won't you talk to me?" I asked him.
Pony laid back down on the bed and put his head on the pillow. He fell fast asleep again, but before he did I heard him say
" Because I'm falling too fast,"
Falling? What did he mean by that? I couldn't think of what my little brother's words meant, so I laid down and put my arm around Pony. I could feel his heart pounding in his chest and wondered what had made him so scared. My eyelids grew heavy and I fell asleep. I could hear Pony's voice echoing in my mind.
" Because I'm falling too fast."
When I woke up the next morning I immediately realized that Ponyboy wasn't next to me. There was only rumpled sheets and a damp pillow to indicate that he had slept there at all. I smoothed out both our pillows and hurriedly pulled the sheet over them. I went to the bathroom and took a shower. When I went to shave I noticed that one of the razor blades was missing. Did Darry take it for emergencies? I finished shaving and went into the kitchen to see if Pony was any better than last night. He wasn't. If anything he was worse. His hair was matted down on his head, he had dark circles under his eyes, he was pale, and he looked like he hadn't slept or eaten in weeks.
"Ohh, Ponyboy," I thought miserably.
He turned and looked at me. The expression in his eyes shocked me. They were dead. The spark of life that had once invaded them was all but out. I felt a wrenching in my chest when he turned away.
" Hey, how'd you sleep?"
Pony just shrugged.
" Did Darry already leave?"
This time Pony nodded. Ok, maybe he didn't feel like talking.
" I'm gonna go find Steve, ok?"
" Ok," he mumbled.
Well, at least he said something to me. I left the house and went over to the lot. I saw my best friend, Steve Randle, standing there and lighting up a cigarette. He brought the cigarette to his lips and inhaled. Then he turned his head and blew out the smoke.
" Hey Soda," he said.
" Hi," I said.
He took another drag of his cigarette, then asked me
" What's the matter with you?"
Steve never really was the sensitive type.
" How do you know there's something wrong?" I asked.
He smirked and shook his head
" Damn Soda, I've known you forever. Something's wrong with you,"
" Yeah? Well, you're right."
" What is it?"
" Pony,"
He sighed and threw the cigarette butt on the ground. Steve thought my little brother was just a tagalong and a kid. When Pony had been so sick, I remember Steve saying something to himself about Pony wanting attention.
" What about the kid?"
" He looks kinda down,"
" Maybe he's just having a bad morning, I wouldn't worry about it."
" He's not having a bad morning, he's been having a bad morning for the past two weeks," I yelled.
Steve looked up at me in alarm.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
" You don't see him as much as I do. There's nothing there anymore, just a body!"
" As opposed to what?" he asked.
"A soul, life, I don't know."
" So you're saying he looks dead?"
" Yeah, don't you remember how happy he could be?"
" Yeah, I remember."
" He's not happy anymore, he's not anything."
" Don't get all upset," Steve said.
"It's hard not to when your little brother is wasting away before your eyes,"I retorted.
" Sorry man, but I bet nothing's really wrong,"
" I hope that's the truth,"
" Everyone has their bad periods, you know."
" I know,"
" I bet he'll be fine in a few days."
" You're probably right."
" I bet I am," he said and ducked to dodge my arm.
" Always the cocky one," I said.
" Yup,"
" I'm gonna go back inside, you wanna come?"
" No, I'm gonna go find Two Bit,"
"Ok man, see you later."
"Yeah, see ya."
He left and that left me to think about the conversation. Everyone seemed to be saying the same thing. That nothing was really wrong with Pony. He was just having a bad period for a while. How long is a while anyway? I decided not to go back to the house just yet. I hated to admit it, but something about Pony's presence depressed me. As if I could cry or something. I walked through the lot until something caught my eye. I walked over and knelt down. It was Pony's journal, the one he was constantly writing in. I really wasn't trying to look at it, but when I accidentally saw the page I wished I never had. It was a poem. Kind of short, but still pretty good. As far as I could tell it was. I liked it. Anyways, there was something I didn't like about the poem. I scanned over it and words jumped out at me. Such as " blood, sharp, release, pain, falling." Falling again. What did this poem mean? Was it Ponyboy' s feelings or just something he thought up. I prayed that it was the latter. If not, then that meant that I was right about my little brother. That something was wrong with him. I glanced down at the page again and saw the words," blood and sharp". The razor blade was missing this morning.
" No," I thought.
I started walking back towards the house. Pony's arms, they had cuts and scratches all over them. The pieces of the puzzle came together in my mind, and I tried to stop it. When I was inside the house I put the journal on the couch and walked away. Pony was still in the kitchen, sitting there dully. I knew something now. Now it was making sense what was wrong with him.

That was chapter 3. Yup, yup, yup. Please review!
Fyre