Disclaimers: I don't own Slam Dunk. I am not making money out of this, so please don't sue. No copyright infringement intended.

Author's Notes: Wai! A new chapter!! Well...ehrm honestly this is old. I just added some stuff that's why I'm so quick to update. *sweatdrops* As for "Loving Koshino", I'm nearly halfway done the fifth chapter. *hides* Please bear with me...there's lots of SenKosh action in the fifth chapter, and in the following chapters so it's gonna be a bit more difficult for me, since I kinda fell in love for MakiKosh, too, so...ehehe! But it IS going to be SenKosh! I swear! SENKOSH 4EVER!!! *huggles favorite couple*

Btw, I'll be replying to reviews also through the add review thing. :) Thank you for the reviews and the glomps! :D *glomps back*


The Guy in Between (from Two Lovers Arc)
by AJ Maxwell

Chapter Two: Torn

My teacup clattered onto the wooden table as I heard what I thought I heard. Ikari barely whispered it to me across the table. I think I heard...but that's impossible! Ikari couldn't possibly... "Er, can you repeat that again, Ikari? I don't think I heard you correctly..."

His gaze settled back onto his own teacup. His hair fell forward as he bowed his head low. I think I heard him say something again, but I might have been mistaken.

"Ikari?" I asked. No, I really don't think I heard him correctly. "Ikari, what's the matter?"

"I know... I know you--I mean, that you don't exactly feel... I mean, you don't like me like I like you, and--"

His words alarmed me, but there was really nothing else I could say in my shock. "What are you saying, Ikari?"

He cleared his throat, and then he coughed several times. He took his glasses off, and diligently wiped imaginary dirt from it. He still wouldn't meet my eyes when he began again.

"I'm in love with you, Hiroaki," he said softly, his firm tone carrying the words clearly to me. "I have been for some time now." He slipped his glasses back on, and his blue eyes pierced through me as he met my gaze head on. "I know... I mean, I have a feeling that you like someone else, and that you only see me as your best friend, but I really love you, and I would do anything, Hiroaki. I would do anything to make you love me, too."

My breath caught as panic rose like bile in my throat. "Wait! Are you sure? How could you say such things--!"

His hands reached for mine, and I felt the urge to pull back, but I didn't. I let him hold my hands on the table. I let him touch me, and squeeze me gently as he spoke once more. "I know that this comes as a shock to you, and I know that you're not yet ready, that's why I wanted you to know that I'm willing to wait as long as it takes."

My frantic fear and desperation must have been evident, because his beautiful blue eyes welled up with tears. I felt like the biggest jerk for making him cry like this, and I tightened my hold on his hands. "Ikari? Dammit I never meant to make you cry like this. I'm really sorry. Please stop crying, Ikari."

His soft sniffles were like sharp darts punching holes in my heart. I knew other people's eyes were on us, but I was past caring. One of the most important people in my life was crying, and it was all my fault.

I let go of his hands, and for the last second that our hands were in touch, he buried his face in his arms. Oh, poor Kari-chan. He thought I was leaving him.

I slid out of my seat and stood up, transferring to the seat beside him. His sniffles were a bit more audible now, and I saw his glasses pushed up onto the top of his head. I couldn't help it then. I embraced him tightly, then I nestled my face on his left shoulder, my lips barely brushing his ear. "Kari-chan," I whispered, using my childhood nickname for him, and I smiled as I noticed his ear turning tomato red.

"I told you not to call me that, Hiroaki," was his hoarse, muffled protest. "If you don't want me to start calling you Hiro-chan."

"Then stop hiding your face and look at me, Kari-chan."

He suddenly looked up, his tear-stained face a picture of pure embarrassment and exasperation. "I told you to stop!" he almost whined. "Really, if you were Akira I'd've bashed you on the head already!"

The mention of his twin's name made my heart flip distastefully. I tried to smile at him, and said, "But I'm not."

His expression turned sad again. "Hai. You're not," he mumbled, his gaze shifting from my eyes to somewhere a bit lower.

His gaze stayed there, and I felt my lips tingle from his stare. I impulsively licked my lower lip, and to my morbid fascination, his eyes darkened and turned glassy.

The look in his eyes made my heart pound. It felt both sickening and...nice. This was Ikari, my best friend since we were still innocent enough not to feel shy in chasing each other along the beach naked. Sendoh Ikari whom, along with Akira, I had witnessed picking his nose, scratching his butt, belching loudly, and countless other embarrassing things, was... turned on (??!) at the sight of me licking my lips.

I snapped my mouth shut.

He jolted at my sudden action, and he shifted his eyes mournfully at me. "Gomen nasai, Hiroaki," he implored. "I'm really sorry. I understand if you don't want me to be your friend anymore. I knew that my feelings might disgust you, that you might hate me, but I just had to tell you. I couldn't bear keeping this from you, you see. I'm really sorry for my selfishness."

One hundred ninety centimeters in height, and he managed to seem so vulnerable and delicate. How could he think that I was disgusted with him? It felt weird, I admit, but he can never disgust me. I tell him this, and he shook his head, but I saw a spark of hope in his eyes.

"You're so kind, Hiroaki. Thank you."

"Anything for you, Ikari."

He froze then, and this made me freeze, too. I looked at him curiously, but he didn't notice. His attention seemed miles away.

"Ikari?" I ventured hesitantly.

"Tell me," he said at last. "Tell me, would you mind much if I do things to show you how I feel? Would it be so hard for you to try to find out if you could love me as well?"

My mind flew back to when Akira kissed me two weeks ago. As I considered what Ikari asked me, I felt like I was already betraying Akira just by contemplating about his twin's proposal, which was funny, because Akira was so freaked out about the idea of the two of us doing a "gay thing" that he couldn't even look at me since then. My heart clenched at the thought. I miss Akira, and after that stupid, but wonderful kiss, I've realized that I not only "like him an inch past the borderline of being friends and being more than friends"--I love him.

I'd fallen in love with Akira, and Ikari said he's in love with me. What a huge mess, ne? If somebody told me before that the three of us would be caught in a love triangle, I would have dumped soursaupe, papaya, and lemon shake on his head and called him a dumbass.

This was crazy. We're all best friends and... well, they're BROTHERS! What the hell was going on? It's hard to deny Ikari anything... I meant what I said, about doing anything for him. It's the same for Akira as well--no, even more.

What am I going to do? And what about my feelings? It wouldn't be fair to accept Ikari, when I haven't resolved my own feelings. It sounds selfish, but... I don't want to be unfair to both Ikari and myself.

"Hiroaki?" My name quivered on his lips.

"Ikari, please forgive me for not giving you an answer today," I finally said. He sighed in relief, and I understood that he's both scared and excited at my reply. He nodded, and murmured, "I understand, Hiroaki. I know you need some time to think this through." He gave me a friendly hug, patting my back reassuringly. I hugged him back, thankful for his limitless understanding. "Thank you, Ikari."

And it was then that I realized, as I looked at him in a new light, that whomever he chooses to love and who also loves him in return will be the luckiest person in the whole universe. It wouldn't just be because they were in love, but because I'm sure that Ikari is the nicest, kindest, most patient and understanding guy on earth. I know that if I loved him, my happiness is assured for the rest of my life. *sigh* If only hearts had logical minds, I knew I would have fallen for Ikari. But hearts are crazy things with weird workings... *snort* And trust my heart to pick the annoying, and absolutely exasperating twin.

*

I wish I fell in love with Ikari instead of the baka, just so that I wouldn't have this huge obstacle to deal with.

I've been trying to call Akira for 45 minutes now, but I couldn't even get past dialing the last half of their phone number.

I sat up on my bed again, and pounded my pillow with my fists This is so frustrating! This is insane! I should've been handling this in a dignified manner, like how Ikari approached me. Did he feel this frustration, too? Did he punch his pillows, did he have a headache?

Look at me. I'm trying to propose to the twin brother of the guy who just proposed to me this afternoon. I stared at the phone hard. What I'm doing is wrong. What's currently happening is so wrong! It's going to be complicated--everything's going to be so complicated once I start this. I know I should just tell Ikari no, that it's a bad idea for friends to be involved. Well, it is a bad idea, but what if--just what if--Akira miraculously felt something for me? What the heck will I tell Ikari? He's going to be so hurt, and nothing will be the same.

So, maybe if I refuse Ikari, then I should refuse Akira, too, if ever he happens to feel something for me. But what am I thinking?! I'll die if I refuse Akira, and if I hurt Ikari by refusing him, I might as well shoot myself!

*BEEP BEEP* *BEEP BEEP*

"Thank goodness for the distraction," I muttered. Who could it be?

--------akira--------

I miss d way we
hang out, i misS d
way we laf, d tirs
wen we cry, d way
we fo0l ar0und, d
crazy things dat
we do...ab0ve all
dis...i just MISS
being wid YOU.

Sender:
Akira

Sent:
19:30:02
10.12.2002

I blinked.

I scrolled through the message several times, doubting my eyes and my mobile phone. Usually, Akira only sends me hentai SMS graphics or green jokes. Yes, to annoy me, what else? And then I'd retaliate by giving him a brush-up on Koshino Hiroaki's Curse Words to Infinity, which he will counter with cute words like "Angel," or "Lovely," or "Cuddly".

I digress. That's an altogether different story for another day. Anyway, he's never sent me anything like this before, and neither has Ikari. It's pretty unnerving, but my heart feels like it's...giggling and squealing. *facevaults* I know. It's very unbecoming of me.

I guess I'll have to make that call right now...

±

"Moshi moshi. Sendoh residence."

Okay. Talk about awkward. "Ikari. Anou, is Akira there?"

"Why are you calling him?" Ikari asked. Well, he sounded more like interrogating me than merely asking. I felt like putting the phone down and giving up, but I forced an indignant huff. "The baka sent me another one of his hentai jokes!" I grumbled. Dammit I hate lying to him! I'm sorry for doing this, Ikari, but... "I called to give him a piece of my mind, because his has certainly ceased to exist!"

He chuckled then, and replied, "Okay. One moment, Hiroaki."

"Doumo."

It seemed like forever before Akira picked up the phone and greeted me. I instantly noticed that something is a bit off.

"Hiro-kun? Hiro-kun, are you there?"

The way he said my name completely eased my doubts. "Akira. I'm here."

"Aniki told me something about you telling him that my brain is nonexistent. Care to elaborate on that?"

Again, there's that niggling feeling that something was definitely different. It must be because we haven't talked for two weeks, and he's still a bit uneasy with talking to me.

"Uh, Akira? I got your message. Thanks, by the way. I--" Shit! Why am I blushing?! "--I missed you, too."

Several seconds passed, and in each passing moment I grew more agitated. "Akira?" I prompted. "Akira, are you still there?"

"Uh...yes....yes.....You missed me?"

The confusion and disbelief in his voice made me laugh. "Why, yes! I--Akira, why wouldn't I?" I confessed. "Look, let's just forget what happened two weeks ago, okay?"

"What...happened?"

"Oh don't play dumb with me again! We're finally making up, and you act as if you have amnesia or something!"

"Gomen nasai, Hi--Hiro-kun. I'm....just not...myself today."

I snorted. "You bet. Anyway, will you meet me tomorrow after school? Same time, same place?"

"Anou...sure. I'll be there."

"Oh. And please, just this once, don't tell Ikari."

"Why the sudden need for secrecy?"

The unusual sharp tone in his voice made me pause for a few seconds. Maybe he's just so nervous, and a secret meeting makes him more nervous. Darn. I hope I'm doing the right thing. "Well, because what I am going to tell you tomorrow is between only the two of us. Please, swear it to me that no other soul will know about this."

"Why can't you tell it to me now?"

I could sense uncertainty in his voice, and...hurt? I inwardly chuckled at this. Akira could be so impatient..."Because I need to see you. I need to see your reaction, Akira. Please, just promise me."

It seemed like an eternity to me, but his reply was as I expected. "I promise I won't tell a soul, Hiro-kun."

tbc


Finished August 5, 2002.
Revised: April 25, 2003