Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders. I do own the plot. Robert
Frost owns Nothing Gold Can Stay
A/N. I really appreciate all of you guys who took the time to review.
This story means a lot to me because it's more than just a story
it's kind of a therapy. I used to scratch myself and I stopped about
a year ago.
I guess this story is part of the recovery process. I hope Johnny
isn't OOC.
I always saw him as nice and quiet kind of like Ponyboy.
*Johnny's POV*
* Five minutes later*
I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it. All I wanted
was to close my eyes and wake up, and everything would be fine. That would
never happen, though. This neighborhood is a pin, popping the bubbles of
fantasies. One of my best friends, the one I could always count on, wasn't
really himself anymore. I didn't know if he'd ever be. I hoped with every
ounce of strength in my body that someday, Ponyboy Curtis would once again
be the guy I knew him to be.
" If I hasn't seen his face, I would've said that wasn't Pony," I said
" I know what you mean," said Two Bit
" Do you think he even wants help?" asked Dally
" Are you asking if he should help him or not?" asked Steve
" No, but it'll be harder to reach him if he doesn't want help." Dally
said.
"We've been through this before, we are going to help Pony, no matter
what it takes," said Soda
" I'm with you all the way," I told him
He smiled
" Thanks Johnny,"
" Yeah, you and Pony were real close," Steve said
" Don't start putting things in past tense yet," I said
" Pony's still here, guys," said Soda
" At least his body is," said Dally
" And that's slowly disappearing," Steve said.
I tried to not listen. I didn't want any reminders of what Pony's arm
looked like.
All those scars, all that pain. That had to hurt when he did it, and
yet he didn't complain.
It was like a drug for him. I saw the dazed look in his eyes when he
looked at his arm. That made me want to cry, but I knew I couldn't. I had
to be strong. For Pony, and also for myself. Because of these crutches
I'm not exactly ready for any type of fighting.
" I think we should have one on one conversation with him," Soda said.
" You mean each of us talks to Pony alone?" Steve asked
" I think that's exactly what he means," Two Bit said
" That does make sense," Dally said.
" Yeah, maybe if he's not surrounded by so many people he'll open up
more," I said
" That's why I thought it'd be a good idea," Soda said
" Maybe we should have a sort of schedule or something," Steve said
" We could each have a set time to talk to Pony," I said
" It'd be sort of like he was going to therapy sessions," Two Bit said
" That'd be good for him, but we can't let him know it's all planned,"
Dally said
" He probably wouldn't say anything if he knew we were going to talk
about it," I said
" I think there's a confidentiality thing for therapists," Two Bit
said
" That's true, but we're all gonna have to become one big therapist
if that makes any sense," said Soda.
" I think we should do other things besides just talk to him, I said.
" Like what, Johnnycakes?" Dally asked.
" Go places with him, hang out, read books together, that sort of thing.
I think what Pony needs most now is a friend," I said
" Or friends," said Two Bit.
" Doesn't the kid have a thing for sunsets and that sorta thing?" asked
Steve.
" He's always staring at them at night," said Soda
Then his voice softened and he said,
" At least he used to,"
Steve patted Soda on the shoulder and the rest of us tried to look
encouraging.
" When we had to hide out in Windrixville, Pony showed me a sunset,
and then he told me a poem," I told everyone.
"What poem was it?" asked Two Bit
I cleared my throat a little bit and began to recite the same words
that Pony told me only a few months before,
"Nature's first green is gold
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower,
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf,
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day
Nothing gold can stay."
"That's deep," said Dally
" What does it mean?" Soda asked.
" Pony told me he didn't know and that's why he remembered it, but
I think I know what Robert Frost was trying to say," I said
"What do you think he meant?" asked Steve
" Well, I think the "Nature" in the poem is kind of a mother. Then
when it talks about the early leaf being a flower for only a little bit,
that's like when you're a kid and you lose your innocence. When that innocence
is lost, " Nature" or Eden is sad because of what happened to her kid,"
I finished.
" When did you become so smart?" Steve asked me
" Really, that was all philosophical and stuff," Two Bit said
" I don't want to sound mean, but usually Pony's the one that says
stuff like that," Soda said.
" It's ok, I guess I've just had a long time to think about it," I
said.
"That poem reminds of Pony for some reason," said Dally.
" Yeah, with the whole kid losing it's innocence thing," said Two Bit
" That poem always reminded me of Pony because when it says the stuff
about being gold that's kind of like wanting to see the world as new and
bright and that sort of thing, and Pony's that type of person" I said
"He used to be," muttered Steve
"My golden little brother,"Soda said sadly
"He'll be gold again someday," I said.
"What's the name of that poem again?" asked Dally
" Nothing Gold Can Stay, Robert Frost wrote it," I told him
" Yeah, when you said Robert Frost earlier, I had no idea who you meant,"
said Soda
" Sorry man,"
" It's ok,"
" If Pony is gold, and the title says that nothing gold can stay, then
we have to keep thinking that something gold must stay," said Dally.
" Something gold must stay," Steve repeated.
" I like it, it sort of names what we're trying to do." said Soda
" Something gold must stay, and something gold will stay," declared
Two Bit
" Because Pony is gold, and he can't leave," I said
There was a pause as everyone nodded and looked at each other. Then
Dally said,
" Hey Soda, when does Darry get home?"
Soda looked at the wall
" In about twenty minutes,"
"If anyone needs to know this, it's Darry," Dally said
" I'm going to tell him as soon as I can," said Soda
" We'll help you," said Two Bit
" Yup," I said
" Thanks guys," Soda said
"Hey, we're all friends here," I said
There was a short moment when I could feel a sort of energy going around
the room. I guess friendship can have a pretty strong bond.
A/N
I hope that didn't suck. I tried to make it not suck.
Ok, I'm going to stop being negative on myself. Thanks for reading
and reviewing and acknowledging.
Fyre.
