Love, Love It's Everywhere...And I'm Hating It
I'm back peoples!

Cell: Nooo...

I did kinda leave off abruptly didn't I?

DD: You did...but it was a good abrupt ending!

Cell: And now back to where we left off!

Disclaimer: If we owned it this wouldn't be FAN-fiction. Ya hear?!

DD: Begin transmission
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Trunks got home and ran straight up to his room, scared out of his wit. It was all like a bad dream: Goten acting whacking-off for 2 solid hours, Piccolo doing ballet...and Goku. Why?! Why couldn't he wake up?! Well one reason was because this isn't a dream but let's let him pretend shall we? Anyway, Trunks collapsed on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He then heard his door crack open and saw Vegeta poke his head in.

"Dad, I'm not 7 anymore!"

"...But...wait a second, I know that! I never molested you damnit! I wanted to see where you went!"

"No you didn't. You want my ass!"

"Shut up! Don't make me come in there!" Vegeta growled, throwing the door open. There was a shriek downstairs before Bulma appeared, bloody and bruised downstairs crying.

"Please don't do it!" She screamed. Vegeta raised an eye-brow and implored, "Do WHAT?"

"Don't rape him again for the love of Kami!!"

".....That's it, I need to get out." At that moment, Bulma suddenly jumped up, alive and well and looking crossed.

"What?! Am I not good enough for you!?"

"...Please stop..."

"Why do you have to run to Goku every time?! Do I not satisfy you?!"

"..." Vegeta opened Trunks door and Bulma began bleeding and fell at the foot of the stairs, shrieking.

"I'm leaving..." he said cautiously and Bulma suddenly stood up, not a scar on her and started ranting about how he ran to Goku every time they had a fight.

"......Note to self: No more taking hits to head; move to Montana."

~~!!~~!!~~!!~~
Goten woke up in a dark, wet, and cold place. He was lying down on a slab of rock and water was dripping on his head from a stalagmite or stalactite or whatever the hell those cone-thingies are at the top of caves. Goten blinked as his eyes tried to gather in what little light there was and realized there was a form in front of him.

"Hello?"

"Hello."

"...."

"...."

"Who are you?"

"Who do you think I am you twit?" Goten took a second to get his mind to register the voice before grinning a sunny grin that lit up the cave. No seriously, it actually lit up the cave.

"ACCH! Shut your mouth!" Piccolo shouted and Goten quickly did as he was told.

"Sorry....PICCOLO! DAI SUKI!"

"....Look, I've gotten enough of that shit from Gohan don't make me drag you in to a 2nd story girl's bathroom and throw you out the window biotch." Goten gulped before turning angry.

"Let me go damnit! Let loose these bonds and set me free you monster!"

"...You're...not...restrained." Piccolo said slowly. Goten looked over and saw that he was, indeed, not bonded by black leathery material and Piccolo wasn't holding a whip after all. Damnit all. Goten sat up and grumbled disappointedly and just looked damned cross when Piccolo turned the lights on to reveal that he was in his own room. How fucking sick is that!?

"You are a strange, strange kid...yep, your Goku's son alright." Piccolo said as he turned to leave but Goten quickly latched on to his leg.

"But Piccoloooooooo! I love you man!"

"I could care less. G'bye." Piccolo said as he vanished right in Goten's arms. Goten blinked before sniveling and sobbing like the little girl he was.

"Why?! Why does he deny my love?! WHHY!?!"

"WHY!?" Goku sobbed from beside Goten. Goten immediately stopped crying and slowly looked over to his father.

"Dad...get...out."

"Okay!" Goku chirped as he instant transmission-ed back to where ever he'd come from leaving Goten to wonder if he was adopted.

(THE NEXT DAY)

The next day found Trunks taking a bath (remember that he has to bathe outside. See chapter 1) and constantly looking over to his father's GR. Vegeta had been acting awful weird lately, talking about going to Seattle and getting in touch with his 'Cobain-side' and learning how to raise cattle. Trunks didn't know what that meant, but he knew he must fear it for the sake of his sanity. Trunks shrugged, lathered his hands with shampoo, and began washing his hair for the second time (bad masturbating incident. Don't ask) that day. As he scrubbed furiously, a shadow appeared over his body. Trunks suddenly noticed and jerked his head up only to find himself face to face with Goten.

"Uh Trunks?" Goten asked nervously. The purple-haired one's eyes were stuck on Goten's face, his hands immobile in his hair. Goten cocked his head to the side in confusion as Trunks stared.

"Trunks? Is anybody in there? Did your dad...molest you again?"

"I NEVER MOLESTED MY SON GODDAMNIT!" At this, Trunks blinked, blushed and dunked his head under the water, efficiently rinsing his hair and came back up.

"Uh what can I do for you Goten-kun?"

"Well, you see...I'm having love troubles!" Goten said blushing making himself look absolutely adorable. He turned around and started rambling off about his problem, unknowingly making poor Trunks as hard as a diamond. At this rate, Trunks could start taking Viagra as drugs because he wouldn't need it. He was so hard his dick started putting a dent in his little washtub. Goten turned back around and finished his rambling and Trunks scrambled to hide his too, too obvious...*cough* erection if that's what ya wanna call it.

"Just who are you in love with anyway?" Trunks asked secretly thinking "It's me! It's me!"

"PICCOLO-SAN! DAI SUKI!" Goten shrieked like the woman he was. Trunks suddenly turned an abnormal shade of red then purple, his erection quickly dying.

"WHA?!" He shrieked sounding more like Satan then a human/saiya-jin amalgam. Goten bounced around happily, ignoring all this and ranted on about how much he loved the mysterious Nameksei-jin.

(Inside Trunks' mind)

Mental Note to Self: Seek counseling, annihilate Piccolo.
AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!

(Enough of that)

"Trunks? TRUNKS!?"

"Humdinalana?" Trunks muttered as he snapped out of his daze to see that Goten was leaning over his man hood. At that, Trunks got super hard again and passed out from the rush of blood. Goten shrugged and danced off.

(LATER THAT NIGHT)

Trunks trudged through the desert looking for the man/being that stole his beloved heart so he con take it back and kick him in his non-existent nuts. Trunks, armed with his usual stalk-gear (video camera and tape recorder), set off on a Mystical Adventure to find Piccolo and kill him. Trunks stopped at the place where his "nightmare" had begun last night and looked around.

"Uh...Riccola?" He said timidly. He had a mini-flash back of the things that Goten had done when Piccolo grabbed him and, with a shrug, mentally ripped his pride to a thousand pieces and did a little twirl before pretending to fall unconscious. A few seconds later, he heard "Leave That Thing Alone" by Rush play. Trunks dared a look and, to his horror, saw Piccolo coming towards him doing ballet. He picked Trunks up then vanished.

"Wonder what that was?" said Gohan and Goku just shrugged before they ran in opposite directions of each other.

(AT CAPSULE CORP)

"Bulma, I am leaving."

"What?! Why?!"

"Because I can't take it here any more!" Vegeta shout picking up his already packed back-pack and headed for the door before he heard Bulma screaming "Always, Always, Always, Always, Always, Always I JUST CAN'T LIVE WITH OUT YOU!" Vegeta just shook his head and took off for Seattle.
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Saliva fans will laugh at that last line so hard...!

Cell: Is Trunks really gonna kill Piccolo? What's up with Bulma? Why oh why does Goku keep popping up out of no where? What IS WITH THIS FIC?! All this and more next time.

DD: Cya!