Love, Love It's Everywhere...And I'm Hating it
Whew! I haven't updated in a while have I?

DD: Yeah, you have.

...Shhh.

Cell: *Snicker. Looks outside* Is that sun I see?!

WHERE!? *Looks outside* Naw, it's just real bright. Damnit.

DD: Awww...darnit.

Okay, so here's the test: Anyone see where I'm goin' with this? If so, please tell me. Much obliged.

DD: *Nod* Even I have lost track since we brought Bono in to the picture. Why exactly did we bring Bono? Wha? You think we know?!

Cell: Heh, see? I told you we need order!

DD: Shut up Cell! That's what makes it so interesting that it's so random!

Cell: Which may or may not be a good t'ing. Warning: Michael Jackson and Billy Idol parodies ahoy.

Is he serious? Yes...I have finally done it...I'm parodying the greatest video of all time baby! Can you say THRILLER?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! *Lightning cracks in the background*

DD: ...God help us all. And does anyone see the pattern in chapter titling yet? No? Oh well.

Begin ye all mighty madness.
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(IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PACIFIC OCEAN)

Bono had transported himself to the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Why? Well why don't you ask him that huh? Or maybe it's because he wants to flaunt his amazing swimming abilities, who knows? Just deal with it.

"Damn Saiya-jin (It's no longer a secret baby)..." Bono muttered as he whistled and 24 man-eating, gray, blood-striped dolphins came to his aid, because Bono's that cool yes he is. They lined up in V-formation and Bono hopped on top of the lead one and grabbed the dorsal fin.

"Ahem, as the English-Texans say: TALLEY HO GODDAMNIT!! YEE-HAAW!" Aaand they were off like lightning or sumthin like it.

(CAPSULE CORP *dun, dun, DUN*)

"James, thanks for all your help."

"You are so welcome my friend! I just hope it works..." James said as he straightened Trunks' leather jacket. Trunks looked very, very...mean, let's say. He was decked out in:
A) a black leather jacket
B) a white wife beater with a thin white-gold chain
C) black leather pants with duo white stripes down the sides
D) white Nikes
E) nails painted red
F) a bit of mascara
G) a bit of lip gloss
Oh yeah...Trunks was lookin' meaner than a pit bull with PMS. And even James thought so and was about to skedaddle the hell out of there before things went horribly wrong or someone saw him with Trunks.

"I hope you enjoy your date...and just remember everything I told you and you'll do fine chico!"

"Right! Thanks!"

"And tell me the end of Batman why don't you?" James called as Trunks sped out of Capsule Corp.

(SON RESIDENCE)

Goten was staring at his hair a bit longer in the mirror in the living room as Goku rolled his way around the living room (his leg and arm are still broken) in his newly dubbed Mick Jagger-mobile.

"Dad, how do I look?" Goten asked his father. Goku stopped and looked at his son who was wearing a sparkly silver prom dress.

"Goten...you look fabu! But I really, really must ask that you take off the dress. In fact, I DEMAND you do it."

"Oh alright...spoilsport." Goten mumbled as he stomped up to his room to change out of the dress and in to some clothes. Goku nodded in approval and was about to go screw with Vegeta in Seattle when some one knocked on the door. Goku wheeled over and when he opened it, to his surprise a male Christina Aguilera (how the hell do you spell that?!) was standing outside.

"Hiya Goku-san! Where's Goten?"

"......"

"...Goku-san?"

"..." At this moment Goku broke in to the chorus of "Dirrty" and started rolling around in a circle on the living room floor. Trunks sweat dropped and Goten did the same thing as he came down stairs.

"Uh dad?"

"Dirrty! I think it's bout time—"

"Dad?"

"Party! Gunna get a little un—"

"DAAAAAAD!"

"WHAT?!" Goku shouted as he stopped his, ahem, antics. Trunks still stood in the door way, partially enjoying Goku's singing and the other part of him fairly frightened by it.

"Dad, just stop it! Go to your room!"

"But—"

"DO IT DAMNIT!"

"Oh...alright...spoilsport..." Goku said as he sulked off to his room. Goten shook his head in anger before catching Trunks in the door way and resisted the urge to start singing "Genie in a Bottle". Instead, he waved and materialized in an instant in front of a dazed n' confused Trunks. He snapped his fingers in front of his friend's face but got no response.

"Trunksie? Trunks? Trunksie-wunksie-chan?"

"...Did you just call me Trunksie-wunksie-chan?" Trunks said as he slowly came out of his daze. Goten nodded and said, "I always call you that...! Don't I?"

"Nope, you sure don't."

"...Let's go see Batman, the first 'n the best. Then go pick up some Sammy Hagar!" Goten shouted happily as he hooked Trunks' arm and dragged him out the door.

(We now join Bono)

Bono looked at his watch. It read 9:45 PM...which was very bad because he was still about a good 2-3 days away from Japan.

"Damnit! I must go faster! HYAH!" he shouted to the dolphins who began picking up the pace, but it still wasn't enough. So what did our Bono do? He started singing, of course. Just think of a random U2 song off the top of your head and imagine him singing it okay? Good. The song was meant to inspire the dolphins to go faster and faster did they go. The team of dolphins sped across the ocean, splitting the normal time in half.

"YES! Now, we're getting some where!...I just hope I can still save that poor boy in time! I hate Vegeta...but he is my biggest fan after all, and he's in need of my help! Take THAT Phil Collins! MWA HAHAHAHAHA!"

(We now leave Bono and go to SEATTLE)

Vegeta had been driving in the bleak morning light (let's pretend its dawn in Seattle) for about...oh...5 minutes in the red SUV he stole from a pimp (see earlier chaps). He was now wearing a black denim jacket with a white undershirt, jeans, and those 5-inch heeled boots he liked so much.

"Must...see...grave...! I wonder how B-sama's doing?"

"Oh he's fine." Said the ghost Kurt Cobain in the passenger seat. Vegeta was a tad afraid to look over since he KNEW there was NO ONE else in the car but him. He merely nodded and mentally screamed the song "Aneurysm" at the top of his lungs.

(AT THE THEATRE)

Goten, Trunks and a hundred thousand other people sat in the theatre during the 49th hundred screening of the first Batman movie. There was utter silence in the room as everyone sat wide-eyed and hunched over in their seats as the Joker went through destroying priceless paintings and Vicky Vale sat there looking pretty...pretty stupid that is. But then, finally, Goten could take no more as he stood up triumphantly and yelled "RUN YOU STUPID BIATCH!" and the rest of the theatre joined in his cry.
1 hour and 30 minutes later found Goten and Trunks outside the theatre, red-eyed and angry at the movie's ending which was the same as always. But it still pissed a person off so hey.

"Man, I love that movie."

"I love Batman. He's way better than Superman dude! But Spiderman is the man was the man is the man!"

"Chocala mano on that!" Trunks said as Goten high-fived him. Trunks was so swept up in the ecstasy of the moment he almost forgot his whole plan so let's remind him...now. HEY BONEHEAD YA GOTS A JOB TA DO!

"What the?! Oh yeah, the plan!" Trunks said. He called Goten to a stop and clapped his hands twice.

***MICHAEL JACKSON PARODY ALERT. RUN WHILE STILL POSSIBLE***

"I'm five foot five average size, purple hair and pretty wise! My mom's a genius my dad's a prince, I'm rich and sex with me will make you wince! I jive you not and I'm in love its true and if you don't like me now Pic's death will do!" and with this last rhyme, Trunks clapped his hands and struck a Michael Jackson type pose and bunch of dead people materialized around him in the same position.

Think "Thriller" video with Trunks as MJ.

Goten blinked once, twice, thrice before saying "Ohhh Kami..." slowly and in a frightened way.

"Y'KNOW I'M KILLER! KILLER GUY!"

"..." was Goten's response as Trunks went in to a well, well-practiced dance routine with the dead people while singing his song. Everything looked so authentic that Goten found himself repeatedly checking his surroundings to make sure he was still in the real world. At this moment, unbeknownst to Trunks, Bono fell out of the sky, did a back-flip and landed softly on the ground next to Goten.

"Oh no, I'm too late! Damnit all!"

"...Bono?!"

"Yeah, it's me. That's Trunks isn't it?"

"...I do not know that man. My name is Vanessa Carlton Williams-Banks."

"I see." Bono said rubbing his chin. He then clapped his hands on the right side of his head, spun around in a circle and transformed (no, not in to Sailor Moon) suddenly in to a pristine white suit.

"Ya call that a video parody?! Eat this you bastard!" Bono shouted as Billy Idol's "White Wedding" started up.

"....Nice day to start again—"

"Nice day for a white wedding—"

"Nice day to—"

"Start again!" Goten and Bono finished off in a high note. Trunks cupped his hands over his ears and screamed, "AHHH! MEGUMI-SAMA!"

(IN SEATTLE)

Vegeta, after getting rid of his Kurt Cobain hallucination, was now well on his way to said man's grave. He now drove through a little suburb-ish part of a neighbor hood (a one legged man told him it was a short cut), humming along to "Double Talkin' Jive" (Nirvana would just depress him so close to Kurt's grave) by Guns 'N Roses when some one walked out in to the street. Vegeta was about to keep going when he stopped a ways back.

"...He looks awful familiar...don't I know him?" Vegeta said as he squinted. Then another man walked out in to the street with the other guy. Now we had a blonde and a red head out in the street. They seem didn't notice Vegeta was almost a mile or so back (why would they? They had their backs turned) but the Saiya-jin no Ouji had no problem seeing them almost clearly.

"...Oh my GAWD...is that...can't be...." Vegeta said insecurely as he leaned forward and squinted. Then realization hit.

"Ouch!"

Not literally. Tch, bonehead.

"Oh...oh yeah. AYEE! THAT'S AXL ROSE AND DUFF MCKAGAN! In Seattle?! Oh yeah, D-san was born in Seattle! Tch, duh!" Vegeta the Rock Guru said with a sigh and a light tap to his head. Then, a surge of thoughts rushed like a molten river through Vegeta's little cranium and once again, he saw red. Or at least that's what he'd tell the judge when he got arrested for what he was about to do, which you may know as Vehicular Homicide or Attempted Murder. I and Vegeta like to call it SWEET, SWEET PAYBACK BIOTCH.

"So...you can talk like old friends...you can be seen on stage together without actually being together...you can sing on each other's albums...but you CAN'T GIVE ME A REUNION TOUR YOU SCURVY BITCHES!" Vegeta shrieked but neither Axl nor Duff seemed to notice. Vegeta then opened the sun roof (let's pretend SUVs have them...if they don't) and managed to stand with all his weight on the gas pedal. Oh if he couldn't get both he'd damn sure get one or the other. He sped at the duo at what could've been well over 300 MPH but it probably wasn't. The two finally looked 'round and realized their lives were in great danger. While Duff-sama stood there like a deer caught in head lights, Axl-sama screamed bloody murder and took off down the street like a bolt of lightning. And by the time Duff-sama figured out what the hell was going on and decided to run if he wished to live, Axl-sama was 400 yards down the street and rounding a corner, proving once again that even though Axl Rose may have changed over the years, he still rocked and could run like hell and was smarter than your average blonde (no offense blondes). But then again, you'd break the sound barrier too if you were being chased by psychotic, road-raging Saiya-jin driving at 200 MPH.

"AXL! AXL WAIT UP!"

"FUCK YOU, YOU SCURVY BAND LEAVING JERK! SAVE YOUR OWN DAMN SELF!"

"I DIDN'T WANNA LEAVE!!"

"SHUT UP AND RUN OR DIE!" Axl screamed as he picked up his pace even more. Yes folks, not all white people trip when they're running for their lives. And Axl and Duff may have been the best of friends, but when it came to life or saving your friend, there was no choice to be made. Duff struggled to catch up but Axl was just too frigging fast. It was amazing how fast he could run for a 42 year old; in fact it was kinda spooky.

"NAAAAAAAAAH!"

(AT CAPSULE CORP)

"You jerk! You said it would work!"

"Well I didn't count on Bono being there!" James shouted. Trunks plopped down on the couch angrily. Goten had discovered his motives with Bono's help, gave him shiner big enough to be seen from Mars and sent him packing. Literally. James huffed and began pacing around the room in frustration.

"Damnit...how'd Bono KNOW?"

"How would I know!? All I know is that he was there at the WRONG moment and the WRONG time."

"Tell me about it. I was so close...somehow I just KNOW my dad had something to do with this!!"

(QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

Axl: *On a dirt road running like mad* DUFF PICK UP THE FUCKIN PACE DAMNIT!

Duff: I'M TRYING!

Axl: I know you can run faster than that!

Duff: Easy for you to say! *Nearly trips* GAH!

(END QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

"You know...I was just thinkin' the same thing."

"Mmm...so now what?"

"Now...plan beta." James said with another psychotic grin. He whipped around and opened the closet door that suddenly appeared there. Inside was a starved, rabid, tied and gagged Bulma staring wide eyed.

"...That's plan Beta!?" asked a shocked Trunks. James nodded and his grin got impossibly wider. He reached in and grabbed Bulma by the rope that bound her and held her up.

"THIS lil lady's gonna help us out! You'll see...Trunks! This is a force that not even Bono can stop!"

"Bu—"

"No buts! We're doing this and that's FINAL! Now see here..." James began explaining his new plan and Trunks listened intently.

(IN SEATTLE)

Vegeta had finally sat down after driving 3 ½ miles standing on the gas pedal...but he was still chasing Duff-sama and Axl-sama. Why? Why chase them and try to kill them if they were his 3rd favorite band? Well, it's because...you go listen to old Guns 'N Roses then go watch the 2002 Video Music Awards on MTV. You'd be pissed at a certain red-headed traitor too. But Axl's really not to blame...it's old GNR as a general. But enough of that, email me for the full rant. The point of the matter is that Duff-sama needed to stop skipping like a girl and be a man like Axl and start running like a fuckin' moron.

"Do you know where you are baby!? You're in the jungle! You're gonna diiiiie!" Vegeta screamed and popped in "Appetite for Destruction" and played that infamous GNR song..."Welcome to the Jungle" at ear-drum bursting volume.

"GAAH! How EEVIL! Hey, I sound good..." Axl muttered the last part. It wasn't like he had nothing to worry about, the SUV was going at 200 and he was somehow managing to stay at least 30 feet ahead of it...and Duff was about 2 feet behind his and this-close to getting hit.

"Hey, I have a cell phone!" Duff-sama said to himself as he (Warning: the scene you're about to read is explained very poorly physically impossible...not to mention retarded. Caution) did double cart-wheel, a triple somersault, a flip and managed to catch up with Axl.

"O_o...Dude!"

"Hey, I have a cell phone!"

"And just what are you gonna do with it!?"

"...Call the police?"

"Exactly. NOW DO IT!"

"...Okay..." Duff said as he somersaulted down the street, rolled off limply to the side and called the police from a ditch leaving Axl to run, screaming like a banshee.

"YOU GODDAMN TRAITOR! GET BACK UP HERE AND FUCKING RUN!"

"NO ONE CAN SAVE YOU NOW BITCH! YOU'RE ALLL MINE!" Vegeta shrieked as he cackled like the mad man he was.
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And here I must leave you...this took me 3 days to write you know. Now to put it up!

Cell: Feedback. Please, we beg you.

DD: *Nod* How long can Axl last? What's James' plan? Will GNR ever have a reunion tour?! WHY NOT?! Most of this and more next time.