Love, Love Its Everywhere....And I'm Hating It
H'wdy folks....*Dosy-dos* I am country yes I am...swing yer partner 'round and 'round...
Cell: . Stop her for the love of Kami.
DD: *Stops author* Just stop it Riz.
Wah. Oh yeah, kudos to animekid who's learning some people! If by that you mean your finding out who all these rock-stars are yer welcome!
DD: I thought every one knew Bono? How can you not know Bono?!
Cell: If you're in to the pop scene...or any other scene other that doesn't include rock/metal.
DD: Really? Oooh, poppers don't know Bono, that sucks.
Whatever. I hope every one has at least an inkling of who Axl Rose is even if they don't know Duff...Slash anyone? SAY IT!
Cell: ENOUGH! I am depressed as it is. Oh where oh were has my Axl Rose gone...anyway, we should just start. Here's what you call a go-back chapter. We go back to our roots...there's more Piccolo, less Bono, more Goku, a little less Vegeta.
DD: Not your cup of tea? Well wait a few weeks when we put out chapter 7.
Heh-heh...begin all madness
_______________________________________________________________
Piccolo sat in a tree along with Gohan. Why? The world may never know...or is it does the world want to know? Just know that it wasn't dirty....they're talking. Not after sex just talking. Okay? Good.
"Piccolo?"
"What?"
"What are we gonna do about Goten? I think he's become just a....taaad bit too obsessed with you...and he doesn't realize that Trunks likes him which is slowly destroying him." Gohan said matter-of-factly
(Quick Capsule Corp Moment)
Trunks: *Listening to James talk and shoots up heroin* Uhhh...huuh...
(Oh my—I mean enough of that)
"What gives you that idea?"
"Oh just trust me." Piccolo raised an eyebrow in a questioning matter as Gohan hopped down from the tree branch he was sitting on for God-knows what reason.
"Plus," he continued without missing a beat, "weird things started happening right after he fell in love with you."
"I haven't noticed anything. Tell me about these weird things."
"Well, have you noticed that rock concerts have started appearing more frequently in the area? I mean, we've only had Metallica play here once now they're here every 2 days...and Jason Newstead's back!"
"When'd he leave?"
"...In 2001 you mor—er just forget about. Do you get what I'm saying?" Piccolo thought for a second then jumped down from his tree branch to stand beside Gohan.
"Not a word." He said flatly. Gohan rolled his eyes and began walking and of course Piccolo followed.
"Well look: U2 hasn't toured in Japan since...well in a really long time, if ever. Now they're suddenly here every night—"
"And selling out like mofos."
"Well yeah...but that's because they haven't toured here since the late 80's early 90's—"
"If ever." Piccolo interjected again with a nod. Gohan stopped and so did he. Gohan put his hands on his hips and so did Piccolo. And they both did, indeed, do the Time Warp again. I'm serious.
"Okay...so anyway, now do you understand?"
"What I'm getting is that rock bands who have either never played here or played here once in their life are now playing here 24/7. What's the problem?"
"Because it happened _right after_ Goten developed his little...er crush on you!" Gohan said exasperatedly. Piccolo shrugged his left shoulder and Gohan began walking again.
"Same thing, y'know."
"No it's not...it's weird...!"
"Gohan, it's coincidence."
"No it's not! It's WEIRD! W-E-I-R-D!!" Gohan shouted whipping his arms around in circles at his sides. Piccolo took a step back and his eye twitched.
"Okay, it's weird...! It's really, really weird...!"
"Yes! It is!"
"Indeed." Gohan nodded in triumph and crossed his arms happily.
"Ga-lad you saw it my way."
(CAPSULE CORP)
James nodded in his approval as Trunks' rabid mother, Bulma, explained HER plan.
"And then you will pounce on him and declare your love!!"
"...Okay..." Trunks said scribbling notes. He had to take notes and study because the way Bulma's plan was going if he didn't study he'd be screwed worse than the Michael Jackson shizz. And let's not get in to that, shall we?
"Sooo is that it? Cuz I have a gig to-nite."
"Yes...that's it...!!" Bulma said, slaver dripping from her mouth, her eyes wide and red and speech sporadic and...uh, unnatural...sounding?
"Good. So Trunks...what have you learned?"
"That wearing makeup isn't a good idea?"
"Yeah. Tch, look at Axl Rose!"
(Quick Seattle Moment)
Axl: *Ears start burning* Methinks someone's mocking me...!
(End Quick Seattle Moment)
"Really?"
"Yeah, all that mascara, the hair...the rose-print crap...the mood swinging..."
"What are you implying?"
"Only that perhaps Axl was a woman in another life is all. Human mood swing I say!"
(Quick Seattle Moment)
Axl: *Ears start burning again* I CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH ALL THAT MOCKING! WHO'S MOCKING ME!?
Vegeta: SHUT UP YOU SCURVY, PMS-ING WENCH!
(End Quick Seattle Moment)
"...That's not very nice. I seem to remember YOU had big hair in the 80's!"
"And so did Def Lepard but theirs and ours was natural."
"Def Lepard had naturally big hair?"
"And so did we." James said with a nod. He then pimp slapped the taste out of Bulma's mouth, tied her up, and stuffed her back in the closet all in 10 seconds.
"James...you wouldn't happen to have a plan Gamma after your plan Beta do you?"
"Actually if this doesn't work I have a plan Omega. If that doesn't work K'SH!" James said unsmilingly but his eyes held plenty of mirth as he sliced his hand across his neck as if to show that if plan Omega didn't work heads were gonna roll. Trunks' eyes widened a bit as he sat back in to the couch. James then gave a little grin and wiggled his fingers in a wave.
"I got a show to do buddy. See ya later!" James said and with a snap of his finger and dramatic wave of his hand he was gone in a thin wisp of smoke. Trunks shook his head and walked in to the kitchen, ignoring his mother's psychotic screams.
(SON RESIDENCE)
"You wouldn't happen to have a phone would ye?" Bono asked as he searched through Goten's room. Goten nodded and pointed to the door.
"Yeah, in the living room. Beware of the Mick-o-dink." Bono raised an eyebrow in questioning.
"The Mick-o-dink?"
"The Mick-o-dink...just trust me." Goten said solemnly as he flopped back on his bed. Bono nodded slowly and went out the bedroom door downstairs to the living room. It was dark and Bono put his hands in front of his face so he wouldn't walk in to a wall or something (as if Bono really could...heh-heh). He felt a lamp and flicked it on. It didn't do a lot to light up the room but it showed that Bono was 2 seconds away from tripping on a the couch...which had a table with a phone beside it. Bono sat down, picked up the phone and dialed Vegeta's cell phone number.
(IN SEATTLE)
Vegeta was having a grand ole time chasing Axl up and down the east coast (and it was a miracle he hadn't run out of gas yet) but it was evident that after 20 miles of non-stop running Axl was _finally_ getting tired. Yes folks, after 20 friggin' miles Axl was starting to lose speed. Will wonders ever cease? I think not. Well, anyway, Axl was finally starting to lag behind, and the cops and Duff were no where in sight.
"When...I...find...that...scurvy monkey...I'm gonna KILL HIM!" Axl shouted. Vegeta was just about to push the pedal down again and hit Axl broadside (like Goku) when his cell rang.
"Blast...Moshi moshi?"
"Hey Veggie! Mission accomplished!"
"...What mission?"
"To save your son from making a jackarse out of himself! What about Kurt Cobain's grave?"
"Uh, er I'm on my way! Almost there."
"...You're not there and back yet?!"
"Got lost on a short cut." Vegeta said half-truthfully. Boy did he get lost alright, alright. Bono sighed over the other end before saying, "Well fine. You go see grave, call me, I'll come back. I get the feeling that Hetfield's got something else up his sleeve though..."
"Like what?"
"I dunno...but I do know that it's quiet around here...too quiet. Get me drift?"
"...I probably do...yes, I do."
"Right, right. You just let me know when you take care o' business there, alright?"
"Alright."
"Good. World Peace my friend." And with that Bono hung up the phone. Feeling mighty paranoid because of what he just said and the threat of the so called "Mick-o-Dink" hanging around, he shakily got up but not before noticing a pair of pupil-less, bright yellow eyes peering out at him from the darkness. Bono's own eyes widened as he took a step back, nearly falling back on the couch in doing so.
"...What the...is that the Mick-o-dink Goten was talking about?!" the Irishman said to himself before calling, "Ye ole Mick-o-dink right!?"
The Mick-o-dink said nothing but just growled and started getting closer. Bono nearly shrieked like a girl but instead yanked off his blue-tinted sunglasses, flipped them between his fingers and they suddenly turned rose-tinted. He put them back on, did a back-flip on the couch and struck a karate pose.
"Don't move! I'm Irish, I'm rich, and I took Judo for 3 years (he actually didn't do this to my knowledge)!" The Mick-o-dink once again said nothing but merely flicked the lights on to reveal....
Goku in his Mick Jagger-mobile with a pair of bright yellow sports glasses.
"Whoo-whoo! Bono's in my house! What're you doin' here?"
"...YOU'RE the Mick-o-dink?!"
"Mick-o-dink? Uh, I guess I am...! I do have "I Love Mick Jagger!" painted on the back of my wheelchair, wanna see?"
"Er, nooo..."
"Oh, fine. Why are you here anyway?"
"Uh phone...call?"
"Oh. Okay. Aren't you s'posed to be performing tonight?"
"Yes...! Yes I am! Free ticket if you never mention this."
"...Okay!" Bono whipped a ticket out of his black leather pants-pocket and handed it to Goku who accepted it happily. Bono then snapped both his fingers at his sides, spun around once, shot his hand up and disappeared in a thin wisp of smoke much like James Hetfield. Goku blinked once, twice, thrice before celebrating his ticket-victory by rolling around in his wheel chair and singing the chorus of "One Little Victory" by Rush.
(IN SEATTLE)
Vegeta was at a crossroads. No, he was literally at a crossroads. The police Duff-sama had called earlier had arrived (as if on cue) right as he'd hit a fork in the road on his chasing of Axl, who now sat triumphantly on the roof of a squad car poking his tongue out at Vegeta.
"Come out of the car with your hands up!" called one cop from his bull horn. Vegeta thought for a second before opening his sunroof again and poking his head out.
"AXL! YOU'RE STILL MINE!"
"IN GOD'S WORLD I AM!"
"Then...make it so." Vegeta said in an eerily quiet voice. In a flash he was behind Axl on the squad car with a ki blade on his throat.
"Move and he dies!" he hissed but strangely Axl looked unfazed and Vegeta sensed no fear from him. Instead, Axl elbowed Vegeta in the face, spun around, snapped his fingers and was gone in a puff of smoke.
"...How'd he do that!?"
"All rock-stars can do that. How do you think Bono never got arrested for drunk driving?" Duff stated matter-of-factly. Vegeta blinked before asking, "Which way to Kurt Cobain's grave?"
"That-a way."
"Thanks. Più Tarda!" Vegeta said as he blasted off due south. The police and Duff were stunned before Duff shouted "GET 'EM!" and the police proceeded to do so...or to at least try.
(BACK TO GOHAN 'N PICCOLO)
"Gohan, I'm gonna prove to you that this is all coincidence! Goten's not in love with me he's just wacky like his father! Got me!?"
"Got'cha...but I'm tellin' ya somethin' weird's goin' on!" Gohan insisted as he opened the door to his parent's house. What he and Piccolo saw was Goku still rolling around in his "Victory Dance" and was now in the chorus of "We Are The Champions" by Queen.
"...Gohan, you may have been right after all."
"Toldja."
"...But Goku's crazy anyway! This doesn't mean a thing y'hear?! Not a damn thing!" Piccolo shouted as he marched up stairs to Goten's room. What he got was Goten jacking off to a mural of him on the ceiling.
"I tooold you!" Gohan said poking his head in. Piccolo just shut the door and went downstairs.
"Son, why are you...uh "dancing"?"
"Because Bono gave me tickets to his show tonight! WOO!"
"Did he? Well, that is reason to celebrate. G'bye." Piccolo said as he shot through the roof. Goten came downstairs in a hurry and said "WAS THAT PICCOLO!?"
"Yes it was."
"BITCHIN'! Damnit, where'd he—" at this moment, the phone rang and Goten answered it despite the fact that Gohan was much closer.
"Moshi bitchin' moshi?"
"....Did you just say 'moshi bitchin moshi'?"
"Yes I bitchin did. Who the bitch is this bitchin?"
"...It's me, Trunks."
"Aw not bitchin you again! Give it up bitchin, I don't bitchin like you that way!"
"...Goten, please stop saying bitchin for a sec and listen to me."
"Bi—I mean fine. What is it?"
"I don't wanna win your love anymore, I just want to take you to America for a trip."
"...AMERICA?!"
"America! For the Rolling Stones concert...you like Rolling Stones don't you?"
"My dad forced me in to them...of course I do!"
"Meet me tomorrow at the Insertanamo Airport at 10, kay?"
"...10?"
"In the morning!"
"...10?"
"...Okay, fine. 10:15 if it makes you feel better."
"Alrighty! 10:15 tis!" Goten said as he slammed the receiver down before Trunks could say another word. Goku blinked once, twice, thrice before asking, "Rolling...Stones...?"
"Yup, Rolling Stones in America. I think it's for the "40 Licks" tour t'ingy."
"...Can we go...PLEASE!?" Piccolo begged because we all know that the one thing Goku and Piccolo share in common it's their love of Rolling Stone or more specifically Keith Richards. And no he won't be appearing in this fic anytime soon...or so I think. And hope, 'cause that's the last thing this sucker needs.
"Uh...I guess so...meh, Trunksie won't mind! He's my bitch, he'll do anything for me at this point and he knows it. Sure ya can come!"
"WOO!" Piccolo and Goku squealed simultaneously. Gohan shook his head in sorrow.
"Whole lotta weird things goin on."
(IN SEATTLE)
Vegeta started sobbing. He started sobbing hard, long and...well loud. He had finally done it...he was sobbing happily like a little girl on Kurt Cobain's grave in Seattle, Washington with a confused Axl Rose looking over him.
"...Dude, if you just wanted you see his grave, ya could've asked."
"No...you don't understand! I neeeeeeeeeed this!!"
"I understand...just don't cry dude...!"
"I CAN'T STOP! Hold me..." Axl shrugged before holding the sobbing Vegeta. Of course he was doing this out of the kindness of his heart because we all know that Axl Rose IS NOT gay... (Tch, yeah right)
(Inside Axl's Mind)
...This is strangely homoerotic...and I like it...God help me...
(I told ya)
"Okay, seriously. Stop crying."
"Sing it." Vegeta's voice was muffled but Axl heard him loud and clear...but he said "Wha?" anyway.
"Sing that song."
"What song...?" Axl asked although he was already dreading "which song" Vegeta was talking about.
"Don't Cry...sing it."
"...Oh HELL no."
"Please?"
"Nope, not gunna do it."
"Jerk."
"That's MR. Jerk to you!" Vegeta wiggled out of Axl's grasp, stood up and dusted himself off. He then took a rose out of his pocket and put it on the Legend's grave. Axl stared as Vegeta walked off with his hands shoved in his pocket.
"...This has been a zany, zany day...yeesh that man has a nice ass..."
(CAPSULE CORP)
"WOO!" Trunks squealed as he threw his clothes, shoes, an Uzi and a 9mm in his denim duffle bag, put on his trench coat and army boots and Green Beret so that he looked the part of the American Drifter (I specialize in this, trust me).
"Trunks...ya look scary. I like it!"
"Thank you Master of Puppets who pulls my strings! Y'know, I owe this all to you...and mom...but mostly you only because you inspired me, you pushed me and you threatened me to do this whole thing. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto."
"Your welcome...and don't you EVER call me that again."
"Yes Master of Puppets who pulls my strings." Trunks groveled. James nodded approvingly and disappeared as Trunks quickly finished packing.
(IN SEATTLE)
Axl was now alone. And scared. He was alone and scared. Scared because he was considering building a shrine to Vegeta's rear...and that wasn't good. He made the long 60 mile (yes he's officially ran 60 miles) back to Duff's house only to sit on his porch.
"This is not good...part of me is disgusted yet the other part wants to worship this man's butt because it is so firm...so small...so robust yet carefully incased in jeans and it looks so good..." At this point Axl began drooling and stared out in to space. This is not gonna go well. I repeat: this will not end well.
Meanwhile, it was 6:00PM by the time Vegeta had made it back to his farm. He scared off some kids with his chain saw and was now calling Bono.
"I finally did it. I finally saw his grave!"
"Good, good...then my work is hopefully done!"
"Where will you go after all this?"
"I dunno...America?"
"Don't forget to write."
"Sure, sure." Vegeta would've said something else but some one or something started knocking on his window.
"...Uh, hold it a second. Some bastard kids are banging my window." Vegeta said as he reached back, pulled back the shades...and screamed bloody murder.
Axl Rose had his face pressed against the window with a camera. He flashed it quickly then disappeared in to the twilight.
"AAAAH~~!"
"Vegeta?! Vegeta!?"
"Bono, Axl Rose just tried to break in."
"...What?"
"You heard me."
"...I should be back in a matter of days."
"Please hurry." And Vegeta then hung up the phone and pulled his chainsaw from under his pillow (yes his pillow. It's in a capsule).
"If he does that again someone's gonna wake up ball-less...!"
(THE NEXT DAY AT THE AIRPORT)
Trunks stood in the airport lobby with James decked out in:
A) ye almighty denim jacket
B) black shirt with a strip of silver 'cross the chest
C) blue jeans
D) black beanie hat
E) tan army boots
And F) the almighty duffle bag. In other words, Trunks looked like the infamous American Drifter minus the complementary ciggy and Swiss Knife in his pocket...not to say he didn't have one some where. And that Uzi and that 9mm... *counts of Trunks' weapons*
"Son, I just wanted to say...I'm proud o' ya. Big time. And if any of this goes wrong I'm here for ya." James said giving Trunks a hearty pat on the back and slipping him his cell, phone and studio numbers on a sticky note.
"If things go wrong, call." James said as he snapped his fingers 4 times in cross formation, spun 'round then disappeared in a wisp of smoke.
"I love how he does that! It's so COOL...yet it oddly reminds me of—"
"WOO!" Trunks was interrupted by a squeal of joy and the screeching of tires. He turned around grinning then sweat dropped when he saw who it was.
"Mick-o-dink...Goten...and Piccolo..." he said shakily as he addressed the members of his current party. Said three were decked out in t-shirts with 3 members of the Rolling Stones names' plastered across the front.
"We're here Trunksie! And prompt!"
"...Hi..."
"Don't look so disappointed...they wanted to go." Goten said in with a shrug. Trunks' eye twitched and he was about to say something when the intercom called "Flight 12 for America, 10:15. F12A 1015."
"Hey, that's us boys!" Goku called. Goten jumped in his lap and sped off while Piccolo followed. Trunks looked down at the numbers James gave him.
"Houston, we have a problem."
_______________________________________________________________
Hahaha....that's it fer today kiddies.
DD: How was that for exciting? Hah...tomorrow, sex & drugs. We're serious.
Cell: Feedback much obliged.
Più Tarda til next time.
H'wdy folks....*Dosy-dos* I am country yes I am...swing yer partner 'round and 'round...
Cell: . Stop her for the love of Kami.
DD: *Stops author* Just stop it Riz.
Wah. Oh yeah, kudos to animekid who's learning some people! If by that you mean your finding out who all these rock-stars are yer welcome!
DD: I thought every one knew Bono? How can you not know Bono?!
Cell: If you're in to the pop scene...or any other scene other that doesn't include rock/metal.
DD: Really? Oooh, poppers don't know Bono, that sucks.
Whatever. I hope every one has at least an inkling of who Axl Rose is even if they don't know Duff...Slash anyone? SAY IT!
Cell: ENOUGH! I am depressed as it is. Oh where oh were has my Axl Rose gone...anyway, we should just start. Here's what you call a go-back chapter. We go back to our roots...there's more Piccolo, less Bono, more Goku, a little less Vegeta.
DD: Not your cup of tea? Well wait a few weeks when we put out chapter 7.
Heh-heh...begin all madness
_______________________________________________________________
Piccolo sat in a tree along with Gohan. Why? The world may never know...or is it does the world want to know? Just know that it wasn't dirty....they're talking. Not after sex just talking. Okay? Good.
"Piccolo?"
"What?"
"What are we gonna do about Goten? I think he's become just a....taaad bit too obsessed with you...and he doesn't realize that Trunks likes him which is slowly destroying him." Gohan said matter-of-factly
(Quick Capsule Corp Moment)
Trunks: *Listening to James talk and shoots up heroin* Uhhh...huuh...
(Oh my—I mean enough of that)
"What gives you that idea?"
"Oh just trust me." Piccolo raised an eyebrow in a questioning matter as Gohan hopped down from the tree branch he was sitting on for God-knows what reason.
"Plus," he continued without missing a beat, "weird things started happening right after he fell in love with you."
"I haven't noticed anything. Tell me about these weird things."
"Well, have you noticed that rock concerts have started appearing more frequently in the area? I mean, we've only had Metallica play here once now they're here every 2 days...and Jason Newstead's back!"
"When'd he leave?"
"...In 2001 you mor—er just forget about. Do you get what I'm saying?" Piccolo thought for a second then jumped down from his tree branch to stand beside Gohan.
"Not a word." He said flatly. Gohan rolled his eyes and began walking and of course Piccolo followed.
"Well look: U2 hasn't toured in Japan since...well in a really long time, if ever. Now they're suddenly here every night—"
"And selling out like mofos."
"Well yeah...but that's because they haven't toured here since the late 80's early 90's—"
"If ever." Piccolo interjected again with a nod. Gohan stopped and so did he. Gohan put his hands on his hips and so did Piccolo. And they both did, indeed, do the Time Warp again. I'm serious.
"Okay...so anyway, now do you understand?"
"What I'm getting is that rock bands who have either never played here or played here once in their life are now playing here 24/7. What's the problem?"
"Because it happened _right after_ Goten developed his little...er crush on you!" Gohan said exasperatedly. Piccolo shrugged his left shoulder and Gohan began walking again.
"Same thing, y'know."
"No it's not...it's weird...!"
"Gohan, it's coincidence."
"No it's not! It's WEIRD! W-E-I-R-D!!" Gohan shouted whipping his arms around in circles at his sides. Piccolo took a step back and his eye twitched.
"Okay, it's weird...! It's really, really weird...!"
"Yes! It is!"
"Indeed." Gohan nodded in triumph and crossed his arms happily.
"Ga-lad you saw it my way."
(CAPSULE CORP)
James nodded in his approval as Trunks' rabid mother, Bulma, explained HER plan.
"And then you will pounce on him and declare your love!!"
"...Okay..." Trunks said scribbling notes. He had to take notes and study because the way Bulma's plan was going if he didn't study he'd be screwed worse than the Michael Jackson shizz. And let's not get in to that, shall we?
"Sooo is that it? Cuz I have a gig to-nite."
"Yes...that's it...!!" Bulma said, slaver dripping from her mouth, her eyes wide and red and speech sporadic and...uh, unnatural...sounding?
"Good. So Trunks...what have you learned?"
"That wearing makeup isn't a good idea?"
"Yeah. Tch, look at Axl Rose!"
(Quick Seattle Moment)
Axl: *Ears start burning* Methinks someone's mocking me...!
(End Quick Seattle Moment)
"Really?"
"Yeah, all that mascara, the hair...the rose-print crap...the mood swinging..."
"What are you implying?"
"Only that perhaps Axl was a woman in another life is all. Human mood swing I say!"
(Quick Seattle Moment)
Axl: *Ears start burning again* I CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH ALL THAT MOCKING! WHO'S MOCKING ME!?
Vegeta: SHUT UP YOU SCURVY, PMS-ING WENCH!
(End Quick Seattle Moment)
"...That's not very nice. I seem to remember YOU had big hair in the 80's!"
"And so did Def Lepard but theirs and ours was natural."
"Def Lepard had naturally big hair?"
"And so did we." James said with a nod. He then pimp slapped the taste out of Bulma's mouth, tied her up, and stuffed her back in the closet all in 10 seconds.
"James...you wouldn't happen to have a plan Gamma after your plan Beta do you?"
"Actually if this doesn't work I have a plan Omega. If that doesn't work K'SH!" James said unsmilingly but his eyes held plenty of mirth as he sliced his hand across his neck as if to show that if plan Omega didn't work heads were gonna roll. Trunks' eyes widened a bit as he sat back in to the couch. James then gave a little grin and wiggled his fingers in a wave.
"I got a show to do buddy. See ya later!" James said and with a snap of his finger and dramatic wave of his hand he was gone in a thin wisp of smoke. Trunks shook his head and walked in to the kitchen, ignoring his mother's psychotic screams.
(SON RESIDENCE)
"You wouldn't happen to have a phone would ye?" Bono asked as he searched through Goten's room. Goten nodded and pointed to the door.
"Yeah, in the living room. Beware of the Mick-o-dink." Bono raised an eyebrow in questioning.
"The Mick-o-dink?"
"The Mick-o-dink...just trust me." Goten said solemnly as he flopped back on his bed. Bono nodded slowly and went out the bedroom door downstairs to the living room. It was dark and Bono put his hands in front of his face so he wouldn't walk in to a wall or something (as if Bono really could...heh-heh). He felt a lamp and flicked it on. It didn't do a lot to light up the room but it showed that Bono was 2 seconds away from tripping on a the couch...which had a table with a phone beside it. Bono sat down, picked up the phone and dialed Vegeta's cell phone number.
(IN SEATTLE)
Vegeta was having a grand ole time chasing Axl up and down the east coast (and it was a miracle he hadn't run out of gas yet) but it was evident that after 20 miles of non-stop running Axl was _finally_ getting tired. Yes folks, after 20 friggin' miles Axl was starting to lose speed. Will wonders ever cease? I think not. Well, anyway, Axl was finally starting to lag behind, and the cops and Duff were no where in sight.
"When...I...find...that...scurvy monkey...I'm gonna KILL HIM!" Axl shouted. Vegeta was just about to push the pedal down again and hit Axl broadside (like Goku) when his cell rang.
"Blast...Moshi moshi?"
"Hey Veggie! Mission accomplished!"
"...What mission?"
"To save your son from making a jackarse out of himself! What about Kurt Cobain's grave?"
"Uh, er I'm on my way! Almost there."
"...You're not there and back yet?!"
"Got lost on a short cut." Vegeta said half-truthfully. Boy did he get lost alright, alright. Bono sighed over the other end before saying, "Well fine. You go see grave, call me, I'll come back. I get the feeling that Hetfield's got something else up his sleeve though..."
"Like what?"
"I dunno...but I do know that it's quiet around here...too quiet. Get me drift?"
"...I probably do...yes, I do."
"Right, right. You just let me know when you take care o' business there, alright?"
"Alright."
"Good. World Peace my friend." And with that Bono hung up the phone. Feeling mighty paranoid because of what he just said and the threat of the so called "Mick-o-Dink" hanging around, he shakily got up but not before noticing a pair of pupil-less, bright yellow eyes peering out at him from the darkness. Bono's own eyes widened as he took a step back, nearly falling back on the couch in doing so.
"...What the...is that the Mick-o-dink Goten was talking about?!" the Irishman said to himself before calling, "Ye ole Mick-o-dink right!?"
The Mick-o-dink said nothing but just growled and started getting closer. Bono nearly shrieked like a girl but instead yanked off his blue-tinted sunglasses, flipped them between his fingers and they suddenly turned rose-tinted. He put them back on, did a back-flip on the couch and struck a karate pose.
"Don't move! I'm Irish, I'm rich, and I took Judo for 3 years (he actually didn't do this to my knowledge)!" The Mick-o-dink once again said nothing but merely flicked the lights on to reveal....
Goku in his Mick Jagger-mobile with a pair of bright yellow sports glasses.
"Whoo-whoo! Bono's in my house! What're you doin' here?"
"...YOU'RE the Mick-o-dink?!"
"Mick-o-dink? Uh, I guess I am...! I do have "I Love Mick Jagger!" painted on the back of my wheelchair, wanna see?"
"Er, nooo..."
"Oh, fine. Why are you here anyway?"
"Uh phone...call?"
"Oh. Okay. Aren't you s'posed to be performing tonight?"
"Yes...! Yes I am! Free ticket if you never mention this."
"...Okay!" Bono whipped a ticket out of his black leather pants-pocket and handed it to Goku who accepted it happily. Bono then snapped both his fingers at his sides, spun around once, shot his hand up and disappeared in a thin wisp of smoke much like James Hetfield. Goku blinked once, twice, thrice before celebrating his ticket-victory by rolling around in his wheel chair and singing the chorus of "One Little Victory" by Rush.
(IN SEATTLE)
Vegeta was at a crossroads. No, he was literally at a crossroads. The police Duff-sama had called earlier had arrived (as if on cue) right as he'd hit a fork in the road on his chasing of Axl, who now sat triumphantly on the roof of a squad car poking his tongue out at Vegeta.
"Come out of the car with your hands up!" called one cop from his bull horn. Vegeta thought for a second before opening his sunroof again and poking his head out.
"AXL! YOU'RE STILL MINE!"
"IN GOD'S WORLD I AM!"
"Then...make it so." Vegeta said in an eerily quiet voice. In a flash he was behind Axl on the squad car with a ki blade on his throat.
"Move and he dies!" he hissed but strangely Axl looked unfazed and Vegeta sensed no fear from him. Instead, Axl elbowed Vegeta in the face, spun around, snapped his fingers and was gone in a puff of smoke.
"...How'd he do that!?"
"All rock-stars can do that. How do you think Bono never got arrested for drunk driving?" Duff stated matter-of-factly. Vegeta blinked before asking, "Which way to Kurt Cobain's grave?"
"That-a way."
"Thanks. Più Tarda!" Vegeta said as he blasted off due south. The police and Duff were stunned before Duff shouted "GET 'EM!" and the police proceeded to do so...or to at least try.
(BACK TO GOHAN 'N PICCOLO)
"Gohan, I'm gonna prove to you that this is all coincidence! Goten's not in love with me he's just wacky like his father! Got me!?"
"Got'cha...but I'm tellin' ya somethin' weird's goin' on!" Gohan insisted as he opened the door to his parent's house. What he and Piccolo saw was Goku still rolling around in his "Victory Dance" and was now in the chorus of "We Are The Champions" by Queen.
"...Gohan, you may have been right after all."
"Toldja."
"...But Goku's crazy anyway! This doesn't mean a thing y'hear?! Not a damn thing!" Piccolo shouted as he marched up stairs to Goten's room. What he got was Goten jacking off to a mural of him on the ceiling.
"I tooold you!" Gohan said poking his head in. Piccolo just shut the door and went downstairs.
"Son, why are you...uh "dancing"?"
"Because Bono gave me tickets to his show tonight! WOO!"
"Did he? Well, that is reason to celebrate. G'bye." Piccolo said as he shot through the roof. Goten came downstairs in a hurry and said "WAS THAT PICCOLO!?"
"Yes it was."
"BITCHIN'! Damnit, where'd he—" at this moment, the phone rang and Goten answered it despite the fact that Gohan was much closer.
"Moshi bitchin' moshi?"
"....Did you just say 'moshi bitchin moshi'?"
"Yes I bitchin did. Who the bitch is this bitchin?"
"...It's me, Trunks."
"Aw not bitchin you again! Give it up bitchin, I don't bitchin like you that way!"
"...Goten, please stop saying bitchin for a sec and listen to me."
"Bi—I mean fine. What is it?"
"I don't wanna win your love anymore, I just want to take you to America for a trip."
"...AMERICA?!"
"America! For the Rolling Stones concert...you like Rolling Stones don't you?"
"My dad forced me in to them...of course I do!"
"Meet me tomorrow at the Insertanamo Airport at 10, kay?"
"...10?"
"In the morning!"
"...10?"
"...Okay, fine. 10:15 if it makes you feel better."
"Alrighty! 10:15 tis!" Goten said as he slammed the receiver down before Trunks could say another word. Goku blinked once, twice, thrice before asking, "Rolling...Stones...?"
"Yup, Rolling Stones in America. I think it's for the "40 Licks" tour t'ingy."
"...Can we go...PLEASE!?" Piccolo begged because we all know that the one thing Goku and Piccolo share in common it's their love of Rolling Stone or more specifically Keith Richards. And no he won't be appearing in this fic anytime soon...or so I think. And hope, 'cause that's the last thing this sucker needs.
"Uh...I guess so...meh, Trunksie won't mind! He's my bitch, he'll do anything for me at this point and he knows it. Sure ya can come!"
"WOO!" Piccolo and Goku squealed simultaneously. Gohan shook his head in sorrow.
"Whole lotta weird things goin on."
(IN SEATTLE)
Vegeta started sobbing. He started sobbing hard, long and...well loud. He had finally done it...he was sobbing happily like a little girl on Kurt Cobain's grave in Seattle, Washington with a confused Axl Rose looking over him.
"...Dude, if you just wanted you see his grave, ya could've asked."
"No...you don't understand! I neeeeeeeeeed this!!"
"I understand...just don't cry dude...!"
"I CAN'T STOP! Hold me..." Axl shrugged before holding the sobbing Vegeta. Of course he was doing this out of the kindness of his heart because we all know that Axl Rose IS NOT gay... (Tch, yeah right)
(Inside Axl's Mind)
...This is strangely homoerotic...and I like it...God help me...
(I told ya)
"Okay, seriously. Stop crying."
"Sing it." Vegeta's voice was muffled but Axl heard him loud and clear...but he said "Wha?" anyway.
"Sing that song."
"What song...?" Axl asked although he was already dreading "which song" Vegeta was talking about.
"Don't Cry...sing it."
"...Oh HELL no."
"Please?"
"Nope, not gunna do it."
"Jerk."
"That's MR. Jerk to you!" Vegeta wiggled out of Axl's grasp, stood up and dusted himself off. He then took a rose out of his pocket and put it on the Legend's grave. Axl stared as Vegeta walked off with his hands shoved in his pocket.
"...This has been a zany, zany day...yeesh that man has a nice ass..."
(CAPSULE CORP)
"WOO!" Trunks squealed as he threw his clothes, shoes, an Uzi and a 9mm in his denim duffle bag, put on his trench coat and army boots and Green Beret so that he looked the part of the American Drifter (I specialize in this, trust me).
"Trunks...ya look scary. I like it!"
"Thank you Master of Puppets who pulls my strings! Y'know, I owe this all to you...and mom...but mostly you only because you inspired me, you pushed me and you threatened me to do this whole thing. Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto."
"Your welcome...and don't you EVER call me that again."
"Yes Master of Puppets who pulls my strings." Trunks groveled. James nodded approvingly and disappeared as Trunks quickly finished packing.
(IN SEATTLE)
Axl was now alone. And scared. He was alone and scared. Scared because he was considering building a shrine to Vegeta's rear...and that wasn't good. He made the long 60 mile (yes he's officially ran 60 miles) back to Duff's house only to sit on his porch.
"This is not good...part of me is disgusted yet the other part wants to worship this man's butt because it is so firm...so small...so robust yet carefully incased in jeans and it looks so good..." At this point Axl began drooling and stared out in to space. This is not gonna go well. I repeat: this will not end well.
Meanwhile, it was 6:00PM by the time Vegeta had made it back to his farm. He scared off some kids with his chain saw and was now calling Bono.
"I finally did it. I finally saw his grave!"
"Good, good...then my work is hopefully done!"
"Where will you go after all this?"
"I dunno...America?"
"Don't forget to write."
"Sure, sure." Vegeta would've said something else but some one or something started knocking on his window.
"...Uh, hold it a second. Some bastard kids are banging my window." Vegeta said as he reached back, pulled back the shades...and screamed bloody murder.
Axl Rose had his face pressed against the window with a camera. He flashed it quickly then disappeared in to the twilight.
"AAAAH~~!"
"Vegeta?! Vegeta!?"
"Bono, Axl Rose just tried to break in."
"...What?"
"You heard me."
"...I should be back in a matter of days."
"Please hurry." And Vegeta then hung up the phone and pulled his chainsaw from under his pillow (yes his pillow. It's in a capsule).
"If he does that again someone's gonna wake up ball-less...!"
(THE NEXT DAY AT THE AIRPORT)
Trunks stood in the airport lobby with James decked out in:
A) ye almighty denim jacket
B) black shirt with a strip of silver 'cross the chest
C) blue jeans
D) black beanie hat
E) tan army boots
And F) the almighty duffle bag. In other words, Trunks looked like the infamous American Drifter minus the complementary ciggy and Swiss Knife in his pocket...not to say he didn't have one some where. And that Uzi and that 9mm... *counts of Trunks' weapons*
"Son, I just wanted to say...I'm proud o' ya. Big time. And if any of this goes wrong I'm here for ya." James said giving Trunks a hearty pat on the back and slipping him his cell, phone and studio numbers on a sticky note.
"If things go wrong, call." James said as he snapped his fingers 4 times in cross formation, spun 'round then disappeared in a wisp of smoke.
"I love how he does that! It's so COOL...yet it oddly reminds me of—"
"WOO!" Trunks was interrupted by a squeal of joy and the screeching of tires. He turned around grinning then sweat dropped when he saw who it was.
"Mick-o-dink...Goten...and Piccolo..." he said shakily as he addressed the members of his current party. Said three were decked out in t-shirts with 3 members of the Rolling Stones names' plastered across the front.
"We're here Trunksie! And prompt!"
"...Hi..."
"Don't look so disappointed...they wanted to go." Goten said in with a shrug. Trunks' eye twitched and he was about to say something when the intercom called "Flight 12 for America, 10:15. F12A 1015."
"Hey, that's us boys!" Goku called. Goten jumped in his lap and sped off while Piccolo followed. Trunks looked down at the numbers James gave him.
"Houston, we have a problem."
_______________________________________________________________
Hahaha....that's it fer today kiddies.
DD: How was that for exciting? Hah...tomorrow, sex & drugs. We're serious.
Cell: Feedback much obliged.
Più Tarda til next time.
