Love, Love Its Everywhere...and I'm Hating It

Y'know, I foresee a sequel!

DD: Already?

Why not? It'd be interesting. But first we have to get Vegeta un-kidnapped and what not.

Cell: Well, it's been a fun ride, but this fic is nearing its end. How's it been so far?

Good?

DD: I've loved it!

Nice. Well, expect more cameos in the future. Why? Because what're the odds I get arrested and sued for this? *Looks around* Shit, better not talk...

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Piccolo and Trunks walked around the airport searching for Goku and Goten and their luggage. Two of these things had a better chance of being found and you just guess which.

"Trunks, we've gotta talk." Piccolo said out of the blue. Trunks was caught off guard and blinked.

"Talk about what?"

"Trunks, what's on your mind?"

"Huh?"

"Don't "huh" me, what's on your mind? You've been preoccupied lately and not to mention all the weird stuff that's been goin on. What do you make of it? What's on your mind?"

"Piccolo...I—" Before Trunks could say anything else he tripped over a person in a wheel chair. Then a police car came flying above him and crashed into the concession stand that suddenly appeared. Then another car, then a cheetah ran through and the cheetah was being pursued by 3 women with knives. Trunks lay where he fell in shock as all this passed over him. He finally made an effort to get up and apologize to the person he fell over until he saw who it was.

"Rod Stewart?!"

"...Who? Where?!"

"No it's just Goku in a blond wig—blond wig?" Piccolo tripped over his own words as he realized what he'd just said. I dunno why Goku was in blond wig, so just bear with me. I need to fill space here.

"Hey Trunks, Piccolo! Where've ya been?"

"Well Trunks fainted on the plane so I had to pick him up."

"Well, me and Goten are waiting outside for you. Shall we dance?" And with that, Goku, Trunks and Piccolo did the Macarena all the way out of the airport, blond wig and all.

(QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

Axl started up the SUV and pulled out of the drive way with Vegeta in the backseat. By now he had changed into a black sweater and black pants with sky-blue 3 inch heeled boots (the clothes were Vegeta's). He drove down the dirt road outside the farm and after a mile pulled on to the deserted main road. It was approximately 5:23 PM. At 5:25 Axl reached over into the glove compartment and pulled out Vegeta's CD case.

"Man, he's gotta have the goods in here, it's eerily quiet out here...too quiet...and I'm talking to my self. Shit." With one hand one the wheel, Axl managed to unzip the case and flipped through the vast collection.

"Skid Row...Prince...Madonna...Michael Jackson...GNR—ah-HA." A long, short-nailed finger came to rest precisely on the copy of Appetite for Destruction, but a peering blue-green eye came to rest on the CD incased below it.

"Gooood boy Vegeta..."

(Oh J—er, I mean END QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

Trunks, Goku, Goten and Piccolo all found themselves cramped into a small cab on the streets of New York, New York (I love that) in that order. It was uncomfortable as you can imagine, I mean the cab's about yea big and yea wide and Piccolo and Goku are two 6-7 ft. monsters not to mention Goku being in a wheelchair (the cabbie wouldn't let them put him on the roof as originally requested) and all.

"So Trunks, how'd ya get the tickets?" Piccolo asked.

"A friend gave em up, but not without resistance!"

"Well one man's stupidity is our treasure." Goku nodded as best his could given that he was in a position so complicated I can't even describe it here, so I won't try. Goten was smooshed all the way to the window on the right side with his foot in the passenger seat and Trunks was on the floor between Goku's wheel chair wheels and was being used as a foot stool by everyone else. Piccolo was in the middle tolerating.

"We'd better get to the hotel and get situated before the show tonight." Goten suggested and everyone else grunted. After the most uncomfortable 1½ hour drive ever, the cab pulled over in front of a ver' spiffy lookin' Holiday Inn. Goten managed after 3 minutes to open the cab door and all the passengers spilled out into a groaning, moaning, slobbering heap. Painfully, the four detached themselves from each other and managed to painlessly get their luggage (half of it had been stolen earlier) out of the cab's trunk. Said cab sped away leaving the four foreigners (And I don't think they're jukebox heroes yet) looking up in awe at the Inn.

"Well boys," Goku declared smilingly "this is it! And later tonight we shall be amongst the many lucky sons of bitches at a concert paying homage to one of the greatest bands of the past 6 decades!"

"Jeez, the Stones are that old!?" Trunks exclaimed incredulously.

"Are you kidding me? By all physical laws of nature they should be dead."

"...Daaaamn..."

(QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

Axl was driving along the main road listening to Sir Mixx-a-lot's "Baby Got Back" for the 3rd time and surprisingly he knew every word. It was getting dark and cold, cold enough for the volatile prick—uh, for the red-head the roll up the window and turn on the heater.

"My anaconda don't want none unless you got b—what the?" As Axl sang (er, rapped), strange noises began coming from the roof of the car. He turned down the player and listened in closely. He could hear the loud "snap" of metal objects being pulled apart and all of a sudden the car started jerking and sputtering like an old man seeing a picture of Pamela Anderson.

"What the hell?!" There was a loud thump and a groan as Vegeta's unconscious body hit the floor, but Axl ignored it as he tried to get control of the car again. He took his foot off the pedal and slammed on the brakes but the car kept going on its jerky path down the road. The steering wheel went rigid and after a tedious battle to wrench it free Axl did, but in the process turned too hard and knocked his knuckles and his head against the car window. With a groan, he blacked out and his upper body fell limply into the passenger seat. As if on cue, the car stopped jerking and began driving smoothly again. Miraculously, the silly thing actually did a U-turn and began driving back down to Uncle Veggie's cabin.

(END QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

The boys had all settled into their separate rooms and were breaking before the 'cert later that night, 9 to be precise. Trunks was in his room, laying spread eagle on the big, comfy hotel bed watching TV when he suddenly had a thought.

"Craddit, I forgot about James! Oh shit, please don't let him be dead please, please, please...!" Trunks pleaded to every God there was as he frantically dialed James' cell number on his stolen cell. The phone rang and after 2 rings Trunks started getting worried. On the 6 ring however, someone finally picked up.

"Hallo-ooo?" Trunks let out a sigh of relief as he instantly recognized the all too familiar voice of James Hetfield.

"Thank the Gods James your alive!"

"I already did. How are you?"

"I'm in my hotel room, everything going smoothly!" Trunks of course failed to mention the whole airplane incident. James grunted his approval on the other end.

"Say, just how did you get free anyway?"

"....I got...help."

"Help? From who?"

"....I don't wanna say..."

"...You got help from Lars and Kirk didn't you?"

".....Hai."

"I knew it. You coulda said so, you're alive! That's all I care about."

"I appreciate the concern! So, anything else you need?"

"Hm...say hi to mumsy for me."

"Sure thing."

"Good-bye James. Say good-night James."

"Good-night James." And with that horribly out of place joke by yours truly *points to self* that's me, Trunks ended the call. He flopped back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling dreamily.

"In a few hours Goten shall be mine!" Trunks crowed. To celebrate his upcoming victory, Trunks went on a marathon jack-off to beat Goten's previously set record of 110 successful orgasms in less than 3 hours.

In the next room, Goku rolled around the room a few times to take it all in.

"Charming...TV, sink, bed...that's not much use, I'm in a chair of wheels." Goku muttered as he came to a stop next to his bed. He picked up the phone on the side table drawer and dialed Piccolo's room number. After 2 rings he picked up.

"If you start that "Wazzup?!" crap again I'm gonna rip you a new one in your head Mod. And I know its you, I recognize your breathing pattern."

"...HELLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BILLYYYYYYY!"

"HALLLOOOOOOOOOO BILLYYYYYYY!"

"BILLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY—"

"—YYYYYYYYYYY—"

"Oh this is great, call Trunks and Goten!" Piccolo hurriedly got Trunks and Goten on the line. And here's where we go into script form:

Goten: Hello?

Trunks: Hm?

Goku: HELLLLLLOOOOOOOO BILLYYYYYYY!

Goten: BILLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY—

Trunks: —YYYYYYYYYYY—

Piccolo: —YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY—

Goku: —YYYYYYYYYYY—

Piccolo: This is great! Woo!

Goku: Bye everyone, Stones 'cert in 1 hour!

Piccolo: Bye!

Goten: Ja!

Trunks: Buh-bye!

End script mode. Good Lord what have I done....any road, not too long after the weird as hell phone call each man respectively got them selves ready for the 'cert. Piccolo zipped it up, Goten adjusted it, and Goku took a piss outside. After all this they met up out side the studio. It was 8:19 PM.

"Well everyone, this is it! Got everything? Good. Let's boogie!" And with that, the four men formed a conga line and cha-cha-ed their way down the streets of New York to the Stones 'cert.

(QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

The possessed-demon car had actually driven itself back to Vegeta's farm where Bono sat on the porch with a tiny model of the SUV in his right hand and reading from "The Idiot's Guide to Basic Voodoo" by Aima Wicht. Beside him was the Big Book O' Car Mechanics and several pages were marked. The SUV stopped right in front of the porch and Bono looked up.

"Wow, it worked! Man I'm good!" Bono dropped the book and bounced over to the car. He opened the rear door and gently dragged out Vegeta, who was just beginning to regain consciousness.

"Vegeta? Vegeta, can you hear me?"

"Ungh...."

"Vegeta, say something! Say anything! Say 'I'm a Pretty Little Girl'!"

"....No."

"You're alive! Yey!" Bono managed to awkwardly hug Vegeta while the Saiya-jin just stared. After a few minutes the two separated and Vegeta propped him self on his elbows and pointed at Axl who was still in the car out cold.

"What about him?"

"What about 'im?"

"What're ya gonna do with him?"

"Send him off to Florida. It's very nice there this time of year I'm told."

"I can't let you do that! He has to put out this freakin album!"

"Oh alright, I'll drive him around until the car runs out of gas."

"How?"

"With my new found voodoo powers of course." Bono clapped his hands and pointed to the left. The car pulled out and went in the direction of Bono's hand. Vegeta blinked and looked up.

"How the hell did you do that...?"

"It's magic!"

"......."

(END QUICK SEATTLE MOMENT)

By the time Trunks and co. had reached the arena the world's longest conga line was trailing behind them, some going to the concert some were just drifters tagging along.

"Hey dad, we're here!" Goten called to Goku who was leading the whole fiasco. Goku stopped rolling and nodded.

"Okay, all those going to the concert stay on!" With that, half the line dispersed and went on with their normal lives. Goku took a bull horn from vacuum space and shouted, "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME STONES?!"

"YEAH!"

"THEN FOLLOW ME!" The Stones half of the line cha-cha-ed into the arena and took their seats (btw, just to give you an idea of how long the line was, the conga line was half the arena). People were still filling in the seats and our four heroes were bouncing like morons, except Goku who was just bouncing.

"Damn, this is so exciting!"

"Yeah, it's always wonderful to see the Stones alive and well."

"Look its Iggy Pop!"

"No it's not, it's Rod Stewart." Piccolo clamped his mouth shut as soon as he realized what he'd said.

"ROD WHO!?"

"I didn't say anythin'."

"Oh." Goku shrugged and put his blonde wig back on. As soon as he did, the lights shut off.

"Okay, who pulled the plug?" Some random guy said (it was Rod Stewart) and everyone went like "huh?" and "wha?" When the huh-ing and wha-ing died down the lights on the main stage flared up. The audience was temporarily blinded but soon lost their rabid-ass minds as the first chords of "Start Me Up" sounded. Mick Jagger grabbed his mic and before he could say a freakin word Trunks, in an act of extreme bravery and stupidity, grabbed Goku's bull horn and his call of "ARE YOU READY TO RAWK!?" rung through the arena and the response of "YEAAAH!" rang just as loud if not louder. The band looked on, shrugged, and just went into the song.

"And now, to put my plan into gear!" Trunks said. He whipped around to grab Goten but the demi-saiya-jin was nowhere in sight.

"Goten? Goten?! Craddit if I didn't loose him."

Goten, meanwhile, was having fun with a crowd-surfing stint. Yes, crowd surfing. You heard it here first folks. After a few "waves" and 4 songs the crowd let him free and with very little clothing.

"WOO! I'M FREE!" Goten danced around as best he could in the mosh pit (Mosh? At a Stones concert? Welcome to 2003) but was finally forced out leaving him in almost nothing. Goten was pushed and shoved and crowd-surfed so far back that he'd almost reached the end of the crowd and only scraps of his shirt remained.

"Oh man I am so wasted—OOMPH!" Goten was abruptly dropped to the ground with a soft thud. When he looked up something bright stung his eyes.

"GAH!"

Oh boy. Like the light thing you idiot!

"Oh...what the..." Goten looked up to see a bright beam of light drop from the sky that no one else seemed to see.

"What in the world is that...?!" The beam got wider and wider (oh here it goes again, another cameo) until...

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"What?!" you ask? "Is that it?!" Well for now it is. Mwa hahaha...I might just not update for a really long time and let you sweat it out!

DD: You can probably guess but we're gonna shock all of you.