Don't Leave Me

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders. I only own the plot.
A/N. I know I haven't updated in forever and a day. Sorry guys. I'll try to be better about updates.

Soda's POV
* From when he pushes Steve against the wall*

"Maybe Pony's just determined to die," my friend Steve suggested.
At least I thought he was my friend. How could he say that about my little brother? I could feel hot tears in my eyes. A sudden burst of energy came from somewhere inside of me and I pushed him against the wall.
 "Don't say that! " I screamed at him
"Soda," Two Bit said and touched my shoulder.
"No! Pony's not going to die!" I yelled.
Steve stood up and started to say something to me but he just looked at the ground and closed his mouth.
" He can't die," I said softer this time.
" Come here, Pepsi- Cola," my brother Darry murmured and pulled me into him.
I buried my head in his shoulder and sobbed until my cries were reduced to quiet whimpers. I didn't care that I probably looked like a baby in front of the gang. It didn't matter that I was seventeen years old. Right now I felt about five.
"Hey is he going to be ok?" Dally asked Darry
" He just needs some time," Darry replied
" I wonder what the doctor's doing," Johnny said
At the mention of the doctor that was trying to save my little brother's life again I moaned loudly.
"Sorry man," Johnny whispered
I lifted my face from Darry's shoulder, forgetting how I looked.
"It's ok Johnny," I said
" When will the doctor tell us something?" Steve asked and avoided my gaze.
I didn't blame him.
"Hopefully soon," Darry said.
" Good, because I hate all this waiting," Dally said
"You and me both", I thought.
I heard the sound of a door opening and turned around to see Pony's doctor standing there. There was blood on the front of his doctor scrubs, and Two Bit saw it and groaned.
" Who here is responsible for Ponyboy Curtis?" he asked.
Darry squeezed my shoulder a little and went up to the doctor.
" I am," he said
"Sir," he added a second later.
" Your younger brother is one very lucky young man," the doctor started.
A huge sigh of relief went through the group. That meant Pony wasn't dead. He was still alive. For now anyway.
"If that blade had gone two centimeters deeper into his arm it would've ruptured an artery, and he probably wouldn't be alive," the doctor told us.
" Thank you, Dr….?" Darry said.
" Pelsen, Dr. Pelsen," he said
Darry shook his hand.
" Well then, thank you Dr. Pelsen,"
" How's the kid?" Dally interrupted.
" He's asleep right now, fortunately he did not go into a coma," Dr. Pelsen said.
"That's good news," Two Bit proclaimed
Everyone was silent so he said,
" Isn't it?"
"Yes, it's good news," Dr. Pelsen said with a hint of a smile on his lips.
Then his facial expression grew more serious.
" I understand that Ponyboy was originally brought here because he attempted overdosing on Tylenol?" he asked.
" Yes sir, that's correct," Darry said.
" Has Ponyboy been showing any types of depression before the Tylenol incident?" DR. Pelsen asked.
No one said anything. We all just stood there. Wondering if we could tell him the truth. Before I knew what was happening I answered his question.
" Yes," I said clearly.
Dr. Pelsen turned towards me.
"And you are?" he asked.
" Sodapop," Pony's other older brother.
" Interesting names," he mumbled.
Then he looked straight at me and asked,
" Did you just say yes?"
" Yes, sir," I said quietly but didn't say anything else.
I couldn't. It hurt too much.
" I'm Dallas Winston, friend of the family. Ponyboy's been cutting his arms with a razorblade," Dally said.
Dr. Pelsen's eyebrows shot up.
" Is that correct?" he asked.
" Yes it is," Johny said.
He, Two Bit, and Steve quickly introduced themselves to Dr. Pelsen.
" Is there anything else I should know?" he asked after we told him about the self-cutting, Tylenol, and wrist slashing. Which he already knew about.
" Yes, before Pony slashed his wrist he tried to cut his IV tube with the switchblade," Steve said.
I wanted to be able to tell the doctor something useful that could help my little brother, but I couldn't even open my mouth. I felt like such a coward.
" This is a cause for alarm," Dr. Pelsen said
" Am I going to lose Pony? And Soda?" Darry asked in a panicked voice.
Dr. Pelsen's voice became reasurring.
" No, don't worry. Your social worker is here and she informed me of the good job you are doing taking care of your brothers," he said
This time my sigh of relief swept over the room.
" What's the problem then?" asked Two Bit
" Because your brother has apparently attempted suicide at least three times, and you've told me he cuts himself, we'll have to move him to the fourth floor shortly,"
" The fourth floor?" Johnny asked
"Yes, the psychiatric unit," he said.
At those words, he had my full attention.
" The psychiatric unit?" Dally repeated.
" Yes, it's not because we think he's crazy or anything like that, but because right now that is the best place to keep him to make sure he doesn't try to kill himself again,"
He paused for a moment and then said,
" We were all ready planning on moving him there, but now I believe it is the best possible thing.
" How long do you think he'll be there" Darry asked. His voice sounded dry.
" It depends really, not too long I'd think." Dr. Pelsen said.
" What about school?" Darry asked.
"We will contact his school and have his assignments sent here. There's an in hospital tutor that works with our children and teenaged patients.
" Well at least Pony won't be behind in school," Johnny said quietly.
" Does Pony know that you're going to move him?" Steve asked.
I was surprised. I really didn't think Steve gave a flying fuck about my little brother.
"If he's awake, my assistant, Dr. Mont should be telling him right now."
I finally found my voice.
" Can we see him now?" I asked Dr. Pelsen.
My voice sounded scratchy and so much not like it usually did.
" Yes, I'm sure I don't need to warn you about anything," Dr. Pelsen said.
" I'm sure you don't," I heard Dally mumble sarcastically
Once again we walked into Pony's room. He was awake and looking at the white tiled ceiling I was glad to see that nothing was really different about Pony except he had a large white bandage on wrist and he looked like he'd been crying. As I walked closer to his bed I realized he was crying. After a minute I knew the other guys knew too,
" Pony?" I asked.
" Soda," he whispered hoarsely.
"Hey kid are you crying?" Dally asked.
" Maybe," was all he said.
" Why?" Johnny asked.
" The doctor just told me that they're gonna move me to the psychiatric ward," he said.
" That's not so bad," Two Bit said.
" I know what psychiatric ward means. It's just a better name for mental ward. They're going to put me with all the insane people because I'm bad and….." Pony's voice cracked.
" You're not bad Pony. You just need help," Steve said.
I shot him a grateful look.
I placed my hand over Pony's and he managed to grasp my hand with his fingers. It was a weak grip, but I knew that was all the strength he had.
"I want you guys to promise me something," he said through quiet tears.
" What's that?" Darry asked.
" Please don't leave me. I know I've been a bad person and I don't deserve anything good, but please don't leave me." Pony whispered.
I squeezed his hand, being careful not to hurt his wrist and said,
" You're not bad Pony, stop thinking that."
" Don't even think about us leaving you because that's not going to happen" Johnny told him.
I couldn't hear Pony crying anymore so I looked at him. He was asleep and I felt his small grip on my hand loosen.
" He's asleep," I told the guys.
" Damn, this is a heavy load for him," Dally said.
" It's heavy for all of us," Darry said.
Then he looked at Pony and said,
" But I guess you're right Dally. This is a lot harder on Pony than the rest of us."
I heard the rest of the gang say something about Darry's comment, but I wasn't listening.
I brushed hair back from his eyes. Something I always did when he was asleep, but had never done under these circumstances.
" I wish you'd stop saying you're a bad person," I told him.
" You're one of the best people I know, and I know this isn't really your fault," I continued.
 I sighed and tried not to cry again. I didn't want a repeat episode of what happened in the hall. I needed to be strong for Ponyboy.
" I don't know if I tell you this enough, but I love you Pony. We all love you, and you need to remember that," I told my little brother.
Then I leaned my head against his bed, and before I knew what I was doing I was fast asleep.

That was chapter 17. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Until the next update, this is Fyremoon signing off.