DISCLAIMER- I don't own Star Trek, but I do own the holiday. Without me, this holiday wouldn't exist. Don't worry, it'll make sense further on.
REVIEWER NOTES
Empress Leia- *Gives you dots*? What's that mean? I can't wait for your graduation story! It sounds like it's about Kirk and the rest graduating from Starfleet Academy. That would be funny! Continue your Survivor story!
Lorlie- Thanks for letting me use the Reese's idea. It's working out great. I've made two chapters so far.
Taskemus- You can picture this in an actual episode? Woah. That would be one weird show. The props are already sad enough. But the transporter glitter.........
Tavia- Thanks for reviewing! I love the new title for React. Chicken Noodle Soup for the Trekkie Soul. It's great! Especially the reference to chicken noodle soup, hee hee.
(A/N- You thought I was done with this story, huh? I'm back! Now it's a different holiday, one that takes place on July 2.)
CHAPTER 3 In Which Everyone Is Invited To A Meeting
Narrator- The scene is Kirk's room. He's lying on his bed. McCoy knocks on the door.
Kirk- Zzzzzzzzz. Huh? Go away.
McCoy- No! Let me in!
Kirk- I just had three pieces of cake, 35 jelly beans, and two glasses of beer. I'm tired!
McCoy- It's important!
Kirk- (Perks up) Are we being attacked by someone insane, evil, or out for revenge?
McCoy- We will be if you don't let me in.
Kirk- Okay!
Narrator- Kirk tells the computer to open the door.
Kirk- Computer, open the door.
Computer- Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Kirk- Even the computer's asleep!
McCoy- I didn't know computers slept.
Kirk- Maybe they recharge their energy cells or something.
McCoy- *Soooo*..... How do I get in?
Kirk- Open the door!
McCoy- How? The computer's asleep!
Kirk- You open it with your hands! Haven't you ever opened doors manually?
McCoy- I think so, but it's been awhile.
Narrator- McCoy shoves the door open and comes inside.
Kirk- Have you ever thought that people rely too much on computers? That maybe people are getting lazy and we should dump the computers and do all the work ourselves?
McCoy- No.
Kirk- Neither have I.
Narrator- *I* have. All except the "do all the work ourselves" part. We should just hire robots.
McCoy- Robots *are* computers. Sort of.
Narrator- Oh. Then we should just get slaves.
McCoy- Slavery is illegal.
Narrator- So what?
McCoy- Ooooh, Is the narrator breaking the law? Tsk, tsk.
Kirk- Anyway, what was that thing you were saying, Bones? About someone who was evil, insane or out for revenge?
McCoy- Oh yeah! (Looks serious) I just found out that the Author's birthday is tomorrow.
Kirk- Author? Oh! You mean PearlGirl-
McCoy- (interrupting) Shhhhhh!
Kirk- Why?
McCoy- Well, I was talking to Alania-
Kirk- Alania?
McCoy- Arrrrgh! That's her sister, okay?
Kirk- Okay, I get it!
McCoy- And she said that PearlGirl's birthday is coming up.
Kirk- (groans) Don't tell me. You want to do something for her birthday.
McCoy- Hey, it's not like I *want* to work overtime, but who knows what she'll do if we don't?
Kirk- Is she the evil, insane, and out for revenge person?
McCoy- Yup.
(dramatic pause)
Kirk- Sooooooo...... What do we do?
McCoy- Let's see. We need food, games and a room to have it in.
Kirk- We can just replicate food, and we'll use the mess hall. But I don't know about games.
McCoy- Let's call a meeting in the conference room.
Kirk- Who should I say has to come?
McCoy- Everyone who's important.
Kirk- But some red-shirts *think* that they're important!
McCoy- Say anyone without a red shirt.
Kirk- But Scotty wears red!
McCoy- Say that ensigns are banned.
Kirk- But then Yeoman Rand will come!
McCoy- I thought you liked Yeoman Rand.
Kirk- Oh yeah. I did, didn't I?
McCoy- Well, she's pretty useless unless you want coffee. Say you can only come if you have a name besides Red-shirt.
Kirk- But then that stupid, clumsy, curious ensign with the forgettable name will come!
McCoy- Oh! We certainly don't want him! Say that there's a monster in the conference room. That way no ensign will want to come.
Kirk- But Chekov and Sulu might not want to come either!
McCoy- Arrrgh! I don't know! You're the captain! You figure it out!
Kirk- But captains are supposed to be brave and kill people! Figuring out how not to include people in a meeting isn't in the job description!
McCoy- I'm a doctor, Jim, not a invitation! Just do it! And make sure PearlGirl doesn't find out! It should be a surprise.
Narrator- McCoy leaves.
Kirk- (grumbles) Ugh. What do I do? I know!
Narrator- Kirk happens to find a loud speaker in his room.
Kirk- (into loud speaker) Whoever has made an appearance and said lines in any of PearlGirl's stories, please report to the conference room.
Narrator- You have to say *which* conference room!
Kirk- How many conference rooms do we have?
Narrator- Uhhhhhhhh......
Kirk- (into loud speaker) Just be there, Okay?
Narrator- Kirk turns off the speaker. Then we move to the next scene. We see a conference room that is stuffed with people. There's, let's see if I can list them: Kirk, Chekov, Spock, Sulu, Uhura, Scotty, McCoy, Nurse Chapel, Yeoman Rand, Ensign......?
Snodgrass- It's SNODGRASS!!! Why does everyone forget?!
Narrator- Where was I? Ensign Snodgrass, PearlGirl, Q, Dr. Death, UBP, and replicas of Kirk, Sulu, Spock, McCoy, Chekov and Uhura, that are about 6 years old.
Kirk- What??? What are you all doing here?
PearlGirl- You said anyone who has made an appearance and said any lines.
Kirk- I didn't mean all these people!
Dr. Death- Well, SORRY! I have more important things to do anyway.
McCoy- Dare I ask what?
Dr. Death- It's an experiment that will-, wait. I can't tell you. It's a secret. But you can come with me and try it out.
McCoy- I don't think so.
Kirk- Everybody LEAVE!!!!
Q- I don't *want* to go! I want to stay and embarrass you!
PearlGirl- Too bad! I say everyone goes but the Enterprise crew!
All who aren't the Enterprise crew-Fine! (stick out tongues)
Narrator- They all leave. Now we just have PearlGirl, McCoy, Kirk, Chekov, Sulu, Ensign whatever, Spock, Yeoman Rand, Nurse Chapel, Scotty and Uhura.
Chapel- Unless I'm really needed, I'd better go. There are some red-shirted ensigns in need of surgery!
Kirk- You can leave.
Narrator- Chapel leaves.
McCoy- I don't see why she bothers fixing them up. They just come back the next day with another life-threatening problem. There's no point!
Spock- It is her job to save people from dying. As is yours, doctor.
McCoy- Yeah, but with people who are going to die anyway.....
Spock- All people die.
McCoy- But the next *day*?
Spock- It is not possible to know when someone is going to die. You could die tomorrow. It is a possibility.
McCoy- You just don't understand the power of red-shirts!
Spock- That is correct. I do not.
PearlGirl- Why'd you call this meeting anyway? Besides to listen to Bones and Spock argue.
Kirk- *You're* here?!
PearlGirl- Ummm.... *yeaahh*!
Kirk- We're not doing *anything*! Nothing interesting whatsoever! You can leave.
PearlGirl- No! I'm not leaving!
McCoy- But you said all who isn't the Enterprise crew has to leave! You're not part of the crew!
PearlGirl- Phooey!
Kirk- Good one, Bones!
PearlGirl- All right. But you haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back to find out what you're doing if it's the last thing I do! Muahahahahaha!!
Narrator- PearlGirl leaves.
Kirk- Good. She almost found out what we're doing!
Sulu- What *are* we doing?
McCoy- We're planning a celebration for her. It's her birthday tomorrow.
Chekov- We could have a Russian party!
(Pause)
All but Spock & Chekov- I don't think so.
Chekov- (pouting) Nobody appreciates Russia.
Sulu- And this is a bad thing?
Rand- Would anybody like some coffee?
(Pause)
Sulu- What'd you do to it?
Rand- What do you mean by *that*?
Kirk- Not right now, thank you.
McCoy- Does anyone have any suggestions for the party?
Uhura- Ooo! I LOVE planning things! Let me do it!
Kirk- No. I'm the captain.
Uhura- (sticks out tongue) Well humf!
Kirk- But if you have any ideas......
Scotty- In Scotland we have ye drink as many shot glasses are you are old!
Kirk- That would be...... a lot. She's in her teens.
McCoy- I don't think PearlGirl drinks.
Scotty- What? I start'd drink'n when I was just a wee lad. I think I was 5!
Narrator- They all stare at him.
Sulu- (whispers) That must have been what caused the brain damage.
McCoy- And besides, think of how crazy she could get.
Kirk- (whistles) And if you consider how crazy she is now....
(dramatic pause)
Scotty- You don't get drunk off just a couple of drinks!
Kirk- Over ten is quite a bit.
Scotty- Nonsense! I drank my age just a few years back.
Narrator- They all stare at him again.
Scotty- Come on now, I'm not *that* old!
Spock- I believe that most human cultures have a birthday cake in celebration of the day they were born.
McCoy- How would you know? Don't you think it's illogical?
Spock- Yes, it is. I attended your birthday last year, doctor.
McCoy- Oh yeah! The one were Sulu gave me a paint bomb that was supposed to go off when I opened the present, and then it didn't! That was so funny! And when you were trying to examine it as to why it didn't work, it exploded in your face! I remember your face got full of paint! Ha ha!
Narrator- McCoy collapses laughing. Spock looks stern. Apparently he doesn't like being reminded of one of his more embarrassing moments.
Spock- Actually, Narrator, that is incorrect. Vulcans do not have embarrassing moments. I was not embarrassed.
McCoy- Yeah, right!
Kirk- Know what, Sulu? Make sure you don't get PearlGirl a paint bomb for her birthday, okay?
Sulu- But it was funny!
Kirk- That's an order, Mister Sulu!
Sulu- Fine.
Rand- Would anyone like some coffee *now*?
Kirk- I don't think so.
Rand- But it's my *special* coffee!
McCoy- Since when is replicated coffee special?
Rand- But I took all the trouble to bring it up here! That makes it pretty special!
Chekov- Russian coffee is better.
Rand- Is not!
Chekov- Is too!
Rand- Is not!
Chekov- Is too!
Rand- Is not!
Chekov- Have you even tried Russian coffee?
Rand- No, but mine's better!
Kirk- So we use the Mess Hall. We replicate food and a cake. We just need a game. Where's she from?
McCoy- Alania said they live in Michigan.
Kirk- Okay. What's a Michigan game?
(pause)
Uhura- In Africa we-
Kirk- We're not IN Africa, are we?
Uhura- But-
Kirk- But nothing!
McCoy- How 'bout..... PIÑATA!!
Sulu- Huh?
Kirk- Huh?
Uhura- Huh?
Spock- That word has no meaning to me.
Scotty- Huh?
Rand- Would anyone like coffee?
McCoy- No!
Narrator- Huh?
Chekov- Huh?
Snodgrass- Huh?
Kirk- What are you doing here, ensign?
Snodgrass- You never told me to leave!
Kirk- (groans)
McCoy- A piñata is that thing with candy in it that you hit with a stick!
Sulu- Oh!
Kirk- Oh!
Uhura- Oh!
Spock- I see.
Scotty- Oh!
Rand- Would anyone like coffee, *now*?
McCoy- No!
Narrator- Oh!
Chekov- Oh!
Snodgrass- Oh!
Kirk- That should work. Bones, you get the piñata and the stick. Everyone here has to meet me in two hours to set up the party.
Uhura- Do we *have* to?
Rand- How about some coffee?
McCoy- Has it ever *occurred* to you that nobody *wants* your coffee?!
Rand- (blinks) Who wouldn't want my coffee?
Kirk- See you in two hours! Dismissed!
(A/N- That's the end of that chapter. Be sure to review!)
REVIEWER NOTES
Empress Leia- *Gives you dots*? What's that mean? I can't wait for your graduation story! It sounds like it's about Kirk and the rest graduating from Starfleet Academy. That would be funny! Continue your Survivor story!
Lorlie- Thanks for letting me use the Reese's idea. It's working out great. I've made two chapters so far.
Taskemus- You can picture this in an actual episode? Woah. That would be one weird show. The props are already sad enough. But the transporter glitter.........
Tavia- Thanks for reviewing! I love the new title for React. Chicken Noodle Soup for the Trekkie Soul. It's great! Especially the reference to chicken noodle soup, hee hee.
(A/N- You thought I was done with this story, huh? I'm back! Now it's a different holiday, one that takes place on July 2.)
CHAPTER 3 In Which Everyone Is Invited To A Meeting
Narrator- The scene is Kirk's room. He's lying on his bed. McCoy knocks on the door.
Kirk- Zzzzzzzzz. Huh? Go away.
McCoy- No! Let me in!
Kirk- I just had three pieces of cake, 35 jelly beans, and two glasses of beer. I'm tired!
McCoy- It's important!
Kirk- (Perks up) Are we being attacked by someone insane, evil, or out for revenge?
McCoy- We will be if you don't let me in.
Kirk- Okay!
Narrator- Kirk tells the computer to open the door.
Kirk- Computer, open the door.
Computer- Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
Kirk- Even the computer's asleep!
McCoy- I didn't know computers slept.
Kirk- Maybe they recharge their energy cells or something.
McCoy- *Soooo*..... How do I get in?
Kirk- Open the door!
McCoy- How? The computer's asleep!
Kirk- You open it with your hands! Haven't you ever opened doors manually?
McCoy- I think so, but it's been awhile.
Narrator- McCoy shoves the door open and comes inside.
Kirk- Have you ever thought that people rely too much on computers? That maybe people are getting lazy and we should dump the computers and do all the work ourselves?
McCoy- No.
Kirk- Neither have I.
Narrator- *I* have. All except the "do all the work ourselves" part. We should just hire robots.
McCoy- Robots *are* computers. Sort of.
Narrator- Oh. Then we should just get slaves.
McCoy- Slavery is illegal.
Narrator- So what?
McCoy- Ooooh, Is the narrator breaking the law? Tsk, tsk.
Kirk- Anyway, what was that thing you were saying, Bones? About someone who was evil, insane or out for revenge?
McCoy- Oh yeah! (Looks serious) I just found out that the Author's birthday is tomorrow.
Kirk- Author? Oh! You mean PearlGirl-
McCoy- (interrupting) Shhhhhh!
Kirk- Why?
McCoy- Well, I was talking to Alania-
Kirk- Alania?
McCoy- Arrrrgh! That's her sister, okay?
Kirk- Okay, I get it!
McCoy- And she said that PearlGirl's birthday is coming up.
Kirk- (groans) Don't tell me. You want to do something for her birthday.
McCoy- Hey, it's not like I *want* to work overtime, but who knows what she'll do if we don't?
Kirk- Is she the evil, insane, and out for revenge person?
McCoy- Yup.
(dramatic pause)
Kirk- Sooooooo...... What do we do?
McCoy- Let's see. We need food, games and a room to have it in.
Kirk- We can just replicate food, and we'll use the mess hall. But I don't know about games.
McCoy- Let's call a meeting in the conference room.
Kirk- Who should I say has to come?
McCoy- Everyone who's important.
Kirk- But some red-shirts *think* that they're important!
McCoy- Say anyone without a red shirt.
Kirk- But Scotty wears red!
McCoy- Say that ensigns are banned.
Kirk- But then Yeoman Rand will come!
McCoy- I thought you liked Yeoman Rand.
Kirk- Oh yeah. I did, didn't I?
McCoy- Well, she's pretty useless unless you want coffee. Say you can only come if you have a name besides Red-shirt.
Kirk- But then that stupid, clumsy, curious ensign with the forgettable name will come!
McCoy- Oh! We certainly don't want him! Say that there's a monster in the conference room. That way no ensign will want to come.
Kirk- But Chekov and Sulu might not want to come either!
McCoy- Arrrgh! I don't know! You're the captain! You figure it out!
Kirk- But captains are supposed to be brave and kill people! Figuring out how not to include people in a meeting isn't in the job description!
McCoy- I'm a doctor, Jim, not a invitation! Just do it! And make sure PearlGirl doesn't find out! It should be a surprise.
Narrator- McCoy leaves.
Kirk- (grumbles) Ugh. What do I do? I know!
Narrator- Kirk happens to find a loud speaker in his room.
Kirk- (into loud speaker) Whoever has made an appearance and said lines in any of PearlGirl's stories, please report to the conference room.
Narrator- You have to say *which* conference room!
Kirk- How many conference rooms do we have?
Narrator- Uhhhhhhhh......
Kirk- (into loud speaker) Just be there, Okay?
Narrator- Kirk turns off the speaker. Then we move to the next scene. We see a conference room that is stuffed with people. There's, let's see if I can list them: Kirk, Chekov, Spock, Sulu, Uhura, Scotty, McCoy, Nurse Chapel, Yeoman Rand, Ensign......?
Snodgrass- It's SNODGRASS!!! Why does everyone forget?!
Narrator- Where was I? Ensign Snodgrass, PearlGirl, Q, Dr. Death, UBP, and replicas of Kirk, Sulu, Spock, McCoy, Chekov and Uhura, that are about 6 years old.
Kirk- What??? What are you all doing here?
PearlGirl- You said anyone who has made an appearance and said any lines.
Kirk- I didn't mean all these people!
Dr. Death- Well, SORRY! I have more important things to do anyway.
McCoy- Dare I ask what?
Dr. Death- It's an experiment that will-, wait. I can't tell you. It's a secret. But you can come with me and try it out.
McCoy- I don't think so.
Kirk- Everybody LEAVE!!!!
Q- I don't *want* to go! I want to stay and embarrass you!
PearlGirl- Too bad! I say everyone goes but the Enterprise crew!
All who aren't the Enterprise crew-Fine! (stick out tongues)
Narrator- They all leave. Now we just have PearlGirl, McCoy, Kirk, Chekov, Sulu, Ensign whatever, Spock, Yeoman Rand, Nurse Chapel, Scotty and Uhura.
Chapel- Unless I'm really needed, I'd better go. There are some red-shirted ensigns in need of surgery!
Kirk- You can leave.
Narrator- Chapel leaves.
McCoy- I don't see why she bothers fixing them up. They just come back the next day with another life-threatening problem. There's no point!
Spock- It is her job to save people from dying. As is yours, doctor.
McCoy- Yeah, but with people who are going to die anyway.....
Spock- All people die.
McCoy- But the next *day*?
Spock- It is not possible to know when someone is going to die. You could die tomorrow. It is a possibility.
McCoy- You just don't understand the power of red-shirts!
Spock- That is correct. I do not.
PearlGirl- Why'd you call this meeting anyway? Besides to listen to Bones and Spock argue.
Kirk- *You're* here?!
PearlGirl- Ummm.... *yeaahh*!
Kirk- We're not doing *anything*! Nothing interesting whatsoever! You can leave.
PearlGirl- No! I'm not leaving!
McCoy- But you said all who isn't the Enterprise crew has to leave! You're not part of the crew!
PearlGirl- Phooey!
Kirk- Good one, Bones!
PearlGirl- All right. But you haven't seen the last of me! I'll be back to find out what you're doing if it's the last thing I do! Muahahahahaha!!
Narrator- PearlGirl leaves.
Kirk- Good. She almost found out what we're doing!
Sulu- What *are* we doing?
McCoy- We're planning a celebration for her. It's her birthday tomorrow.
Chekov- We could have a Russian party!
(Pause)
All but Spock & Chekov- I don't think so.
Chekov- (pouting) Nobody appreciates Russia.
Sulu- And this is a bad thing?
Rand- Would anybody like some coffee?
(Pause)
Sulu- What'd you do to it?
Rand- What do you mean by *that*?
Kirk- Not right now, thank you.
McCoy- Does anyone have any suggestions for the party?
Uhura- Ooo! I LOVE planning things! Let me do it!
Kirk- No. I'm the captain.
Uhura- (sticks out tongue) Well humf!
Kirk- But if you have any ideas......
Scotty- In Scotland we have ye drink as many shot glasses are you are old!
Kirk- That would be...... a lot. She's in her teens.
McCoy- I don't think PearlGirl drinks.
Scotty- What? I start'd drink'n when I was just a wee lad. I think I was 5!
Narrator- They all stare at him.
Sulu- (whispers) That must have been what caused the brain damage.
McCoy- And besides, think of how crazy she could get.
Kirk- (whistles) And if you consider how crazy she is now....
(dramatic pause)
Scotty- You don't get drunk off just a couple of drinks!
Kirk- Over ten is quite a bit.
Scotty- Nonsense! I drank my age just a few years back.
Narrator- They all stare at him again.
Scotty- Come on now, I'm not *that* old!
Spock- I believe that most human cultures have a birthday cake in celebration of the day they were born.
McCoy- How would you know? Don't you think it's illogical?
Spock- Yes, it is. I attended your birthday last year, doctor.
McCoy- Oh yeah! The one were Sulu gave me a paint bomb that was supposed to go off when I opened the present, and then it didn't! That was so funny! And when you were trying to examine it as to why it didn't work, it exploded in your face! I remember your face got full of paint! Ha ha!
Narrator- McCoy collapses laughing. Spock looks stern. Apparently he doesn't like being reminded of one of his more embarrassing moments.
Spock- Actually, Narrator, that is incorrect. Vulcans do not have embarrassing moments. I was not embarrassed.
McCoy- Yeah, right!
Kirk- Know what, Sulu? Make sure you don't get PearlGirl a paint bomb for her birthday, okay?
Sulu- But it was funny!
Kirk- That's an order, Mister Sulu!
Sulu- Fine.
Rand- Would anyone like some coffee *now*?
Kirk- I don't think so.
Rand- But it's my *special* coffee!
McCoy- Since when is replicated coffee special?
Rand- But I took all the trouble to bring it up here! That makes it pretty special!
Chekov- Russian coffee is better.
Rand- Is not!
Chekov- Is too!
Rand- Is not!
Chekov- Is too!
Rand- Is not!
Chekov- Have you even tried Russian coffee?
Rand- No, but mine's better!
Kirk- So we use the Mess Hall. We replicate food and a cake. We just need a game. Where's she from?
McCoy- Alania said they live in Michigan.
Kirk- Okay. What's a Michigan game?
(pause)
Uhura- In Africa we-
Kirk- We're not IN Africa, are we?
Uhura- But-
Kirk- But nothing!
McCoy- How 'bout..... PIÑATA!!
Sulu- Huh?
Kirk- Huh?
Uhura- Huh?
Spock- That word has no meaning to me.
Scotty- Huh?
Rand- Would anyone like coffee?
McCoy- No!
Narrator- Huh?
Chekov- Huh?
Snodgrass- Huh?
Kirk- What are you doing here, ensign?
Snodgrass- You never told me to leave!
Kirk- (groans)
McCoy- A piñata is that thing with candy in it that you hit with a stick!
Sulu- Oh!
Kirk- Oh!
Uhura- Oh!
Spock- I see.
Scotty- Oh!
Rand- Would anyone like coffee, *now*?
McCoy- No!
Narrator- Oh!
Chekov- Oh!
Snodgrass- Oh!
Kirk- That should work. Bones, you get the piñata and the stick. Everyone here has to meet me in two hours to set up the party.
Uhura- Do we *have* to?
Rand- How about some coffee?
McCoy- Has it ever *occurred* to you that nobody *wants* your coffee?!
Rand- (blinks) Who wouldn't want my coffee?
Kirk- See you in two hours! Dismissed!
(A/N- That's the end of that chapter. Be sure to review!)
