I Wish I Knew…

By Nokurai To-orima

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket. And if I did, I won't be making this…

The sun greeted the world with its vivid rays, and spreads through the countryside. The morning birds chirped a melodious song as they were sitting peacefully at the damp branch of a tree, loving the fresh and soft breeze of spring. Beyond the valley of the pine and other high-growing trees, a wooden house stood in the middle of the immense land of green.

In there, an orange-haired boy in the age of 15 sauntered along the hallway of the house. By the way his ginger colored eyes look, he definitely woke up in the wrong side of the bed. He finally reached the kitchen, his mouth craving for a carton of milk. But then, his craving was cut off by the smell of his favorite fish. Codfish. He took a peek and saw a young girl recognizable to him.

She had honey-colored hair pulled back in a ponytail and humming a song as she cooks breakfast. She took the steaming kettle out of the stove and pours in on a clay one. She washes her hand before she wipes them dry in her apron.

"Ohayo, Tohru." He greeted, surprising the woman.

"Ah, ah, anou… Ohayo, Kyo-kun" She stammered before getting the greeting right out of her mouth, ending it with a sweet smile.

He opened the refrigerator, pulled out a carton of milk and took a healthy swig. Tohru then left the kitchen and proceeded in wiping the breakfast table with a white cloth. She set up two pairs of everything, which made Kyo wondered.

"Oh, you didn't know?" Tohru continued setting up the table as she heard the question of her companion, "Shigure-san said that Akito had called them both to the Main House. I think he has to do with the Jyunishi members only…" she informed, before realizing something. "Ah! I'm sorry, Kyo-kun! I know you aren't really a part of the Jyunishi but I shouldn't have said it if I know it would hurt your feelings! I—"

"It's okay. I'm used to it, anyway." He said. Not with the usual annoyance or anger. He just said it plainly.

Yes, I'm used to being an outsider in the Jyunishi circle… though I don't mind it anymore…

It doesn't matter if I'm cursed by the vengeful spirit of the cat or not…

As long as…

"I'm sorry…" She mumbled quietly. He just patted her head like she does when he's on cat form.

Chapter 1: I Wish I Knew What the Season of Spring Means…

The morning clouds slowly drifted before the orange eyes of Kyo as he watches them on the roof of the Sohma house. The birds flocked in the sky as they fly together like one family.

One family.

He stood up and tried to remove the bad memories off his mind. It doesn't need to be looked back once more. It would just make his fragile heart shatter into pieces. Unable to cope up with the pain. A gentle wind caressed his cheek as it passed, disturbing his deep thinking. He then shifted his attention to the sight before him. With the flowers showing off the beauty they hold for so long and the cold breeze of winter finally gone, it was definitely spring, he thought. Spring is definitely one of his favorite seasons. And one of his hated seasons.

It reminded of him of…

"Kyo-kun?"

"Uwaaah!"

"Ah, gomen nasai! I didn't mean to surprise you! I'm so sorry! Oh, I'm so stupid!" Tohru turned her head left to right frantically.

You always surprise me when I'm here… He thought as he tried to regain his composure.

She settled down beside him, both began to watch the sun. The silence atmosphere began to make both people uneasy. "It's finally spring," she started, putting a lock of hair behind her ear, "it's one of my favorite seasons."

Kyo took a glance of her peaceful face. Her eyes looking somewhere in the forest, still thinking of what to say.

"My mom used to tell me that…"

My mom never told me anything, except for words tainted with philanthropic intent.

"…spring is like a prisoner."

She treated me that way, only for the reason that she loves me.

"After so many hardships in a cold place,"

To be rejected, put down, detested. I've been through a lot of it.

"…someday, he can be finally free."

I don't feel like I'm free…

It's a lie…

"He can finally the warmth of the world embracing him."

I don't feel anything except for their coldness…

It's a lie!

"And slowly, that person is accepted beside from his past."

"IT'S A LIE!" His thoughts influenced his voice. His fist clenched in anger as he looked away from her eyes. He doesn't want to see how shocked or surprised or hurt Tohru was. All he can think is try to run away from there. Like he always does.

Always.

"Kyo-kun…"

Without thinking, he jumped off the roof and ran into the house, leaving his companion alone, bewildered.

* * * * *

Feet trembles in fear.

Sweat began to drip to floor below.

Heartbeats began to beat faster and harder.

These were all the things Tohru felt as she stood in front of Kyo's room door. How stupid of me! I shouldn't have talked about spring! Oh, it's my entire fault! Her mind began a mental battle within her while bringing her shaking hand to the doorknob. It wasn't locked. With door opened, she can see him lying in his quilt, his back turned to her as if no one came in. She opened her mouth, but her voice wouldn't come up. Words began to lose its use. She breathed heavily, trying to regain her strength. She tried again, "Kyo-kun…" she succeeded.

"It's a matter from a long time ago. It doesn't concern you. Go away…" Kyo said, unmoving.

Nothing concerns you… it's not your fault anyway…

What can she say? She doesn't know, as if she knew nothing could cheer him up. She approached him slowly. She sat down on the floor, her eyes looking at the back of the orange-haired boy.

But still…

But still…

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings…"

"It's just that whenever springs comes, it reminds me of my mom." Her mind replayed the memories and occasions that involved her mom and spring. "She always puts a smile in her lips as she greets the first day of spring with great excitement…"

—Flashback—

"Wow! Spring is finally here!" Kyokou-san stretches her arms high in the air. "Good day, spring! Long time no see! Don't you know how much I missed you?" Her speech ends with a high-spirit laughter. "Tohru-chan, why don't you come out and see how the season of spring loves us!"

Still in her pajamas, she walked outside to their garden; her eyes sparkled in joy, "Wow!"

Kyokou-san felt the aura of what her daughter is feeling, "Don't you know Tohru-chan, this is the result of the melted snow when winter ends." The breeze played with their hair, as if it was approving to Kyoko-san's statement. "Spring is like a person who have been isolated long ago, but now, he's finally released. Even though the winter have rejected him, he still shows the world how warm he feels."

"Hai." Is the only word that Tohru can say. Her mom was always like this, preaching now and then about everything. That's why she loves her so much!

"And that's why spring is my favorite season. Because somewhere up there, someone is smiling at us and showering us with his love…"

—End of Flashback—

"And that would always made me smile. But now that she's gone… this season would always say that my mom is smiling down at me, showing me her love…" she stopped as she broke down, thin clear drops trickled down her pale face. She wasn't supposed to cry, she was supposed to show how much spring meant to her. So that, Kyo would appreciate how the trees bore their lushness can be a source of strength… besides of all the obscurity he had gone through.

Kyo sat up, and looked at the woman who tried to cheer him up, but ended up crying. All this because of him. He didn't mean to make her cry, although he knew that those tears were meant for her mom and not for him. He knew that she cried late at night… he knew how sad she feels… she isn't always a happy person. He reached out his right hand and touched her tear-stained cheek. He wiped one tear with his thumb, slowly caressing it. "I'm sorry. I didn't know how much it meant to you." He said with an unusual tone in his voice.

Tohru looked up, his hand still on her cheek. "Iie, I should be the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have told you about it, if it'll hurt your feelings."

"No, it's okay."

They sat there, staring at each eyes, as if each one wanted to see how each felt about spring. How much joy and pain has build up as time passed by. How each wanted to know the meaning of spring to one another.

Kyo retrieved his hand, still looking at her. She then grins at him. The smile that he grown to love.

Why do I end up at peace whenever you cheer me up?

Why do I end up contented whenever you smile like that?

A soft hand held his, gently and softly. It was Tohru's that made him stop from thinking.

"Arigatou" she said.

He returned her smile with his. He knew that just showing how relieved you feel, it would bring out the gleeful Tohru instantly. And at this moment, he wanted to cheer her up… just once. For her sake.

For her sake.

Continued…

* * * * *

Hello minna-san! Nokurai To-orima here!

Thanks for reading my fic, it's my first time to make a story about Fruits Basket… but it's not my first time to make a fanfic.

Anyway, please review this chapter so I'll know if someone is reading story. Thank you!

Flames or not, any criticism is accepted!

If you want to keep updated for the next chapter, please leave your e-mail address as you review or e-mail me directly at furyoushoujo@hotmail.com

Ja ne!!! .