My Favorite Son

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Author's Note: Raph had two votes so Mike will be the last one in the story to go up. Raph was very cooperative for me I find him easy to work with it was rather enjoyable after doing Don. Thanks to those who have R & R.

Chapter Three- Raphael

He looked at the letter wondering if he ought to just throw it away. He knew he was a big disappointment to his Master. He couldn't do anything right, he had no control and he allowed his anger to get in the way of things not to mention all the other ways he was failure as a son.

With his luck it would be a long lecture the sort he often received from his Master or worse yet, from his own brother.

The simple fact that his Master had been dead for almost three months now didn't mean that the letter he held didn't have some lecture about his shortcomings and how his father had not approved of him yet again.

A part of him really did want to throw the letter out and forget all about it but something held him back.

" Ah what the hell, no guts no glory" he muttered to himself and with some trepidation and a sigh of resignation he opened the letter with a tip from one of his sais.

Raphael,

 You my son always managed to find ways to test me and any other that you saw as an authority figure. I believe it was not just testing on your part but an outright challenge.

 You were the source of at least half of my headaches; Michelangelo was the source of the other half. You consistently tested my patience and my well meant advice.

I was often forced to dig deeper and try harder with you my son for you never seemed to want to accept anything on face value. You wanted proof.

You hid behind a wall of cynicism and hatred and yet every once in a while a bit of the wall would come down and I'd see another part of you.

It was a part you never let show for long as if you were afraid by doing so it would make you seem weaker for having such emotions or feelings. A part of you that I wished you would show more often Raphael for it was a much gentler side then the cold cynic that you preferred to play.

Seeing that part every now and again always gave me a bit of hope that you were not so distant you could not be reached or as removed as you made yourself out to be.

You were always impressive in your fighting skills for you are very dedicated to the art of ninjitsu but I often had the feeling that you held back and did not do as well as you might have otherwise and I think a lot of that was that you might have felt that you were living in Leonardo's shadow.

A part of you might have felt that you could never achieve what he did, could never be what he was and so in effect you sabotaged yourself by not giving your all. I never wanted you to be another Leonardo, Raphael. I only wanted you to do your best and to be yourself my son.

Yet the competition and conflict between you and Leonardo was all too clear even from the early years. Many times I was forced to step in and break up your arguments before one of you did a serious injury to the other.

You longed to be accepted and yet often misconstrued what I said or did taking those things the wrong way. Sometimes my son you could be a little too head strong for your own good.

Your ever quick anger that boiled near the surface and your often impulsive actions made it difficult at times to get through to you, to reach you as I often longed to. These are the same traits, which Leonardo came to term your " irresponsibility".

I tried my best to help you gain control and a grip over these stronger emotions that raged in you. Never forget my son, anger turned inwards is an unconquerable foe for it clouds the mind and judgment. I'm hoping one day you will come to see this for yourself and start to learn to gain control over it.

I know a lot of your anger stemmed from our situation in life. I know that you thought often about your mutation and where it has lead all of us and what might be if we were ever found.

As a child you were often plagued by nightmares of such things even though I had not told you what might happen if we were found you seemed to instinctively know.

You have always relied on your instincts and hunches far more then your brothers have and I believe that this has helped you and them a great deal in your many battles and adventures.

I believe another part of your anger may have stemmed from what you may have considered as favoritism towards your brother Leonardo.

I have told him and now I tell you both of you are more similar in nature then either of you would care to agree.

Both of you strive for excellence, both of you wish to please, both of you are committed to the family and to ninjitsu.

Through it all though Raphael you would often act contradictory to Leonardo as if by refusing to stand in his shadow you had to conflict with him and be opposite of every thing that he was. To try and make yourself different form him as possible even though you still felt the desire to please me and gain my approval.

You would have pleased me greatly Raphael simply be being you and not hiding behind wall or a witty sharp tongue or even by playing opposite of what your brother was.

I hope that you and Leonardo will come to understand each other better one day and that you can finally set aside your differences and your need to compete against each other.

For Leonardo may need your help when I'm gone and it would be good to know that he can rely on you my son, to help him. I hope that you can do this for the family, for myself, Leonardo and for you as well.

I'm not asking you to change only to help when necessary and when needed.

Now I have something to reveal to you that I wish you not reveal to the others.

I know you often thought that Leonardo was my favorite but you were wrong.

You were always my favorite son Raphael.

For you more then the others were a true fighter and a survivor.

You would persevere never giving up and never giving in. Pushing yourself to keep fighting and going on instead of saying it's over, useless and we don't stand a chance.

It is this trait that helped get both you and your brothers out of serious situations, though in all honesty I must admit that your anger and impulsive traits often landed you all in trouble so it was just as good you had something to bail everyone out with.

No matter the odds against you, you faced them head on with all your skill and talent at your disposal. Relying heavily on your instinct to guide your moves and to avoid injury throughout the battle.

I know Raphael when all is said and done that the odds of you making it through any challenge that life presents you are highly in your favor with the traits you have shown.

This is also when your anger becomes an asset to you Raphael for it fuels you in battle and if you could just learn to tap into it when you needed and let the rest go you would be a much better fighter and warrior for it my son.

I know also that when all else fails your sarcastic wit can be a powerful motivator and you could encourage your brothers on in the battle with it alone.

Because you are a survivor my son the others too stand a chance to survive and make it out of any situation where you might end up over your heads.

Dedicated, quick to act, and the will to not give up against all odds you are truly a great warrior and a noble ninja my son.

I wish you well and happiness. I loved you my son.

Splinter.

Raphael smiled slightly and nodded. He never would have guessed that his Master knew him so well. Never would have believed it either if he hadn't been told or had seen the proof of it for himself.

Maybe he would see what he could do to honor Splinter's request not that he was too keen about being buddy, buddy with Leo. That just might be more trouble then it was worth after all.

But the rest of it he would think about and see what he could do.

After all he felt a lot closer to Splinter then he had for a long time.

That his father knew him so well cared for him so much meant a great deal more then he was willing to admit to, to anyone.

TBC