(MONDAY, School Bus, TINO, TISH, CARVER and LOR all sit together)

LOR: I'm psyched about Health this semester Tino, I haven't been in any classes with any of you so far this year.

CARVER: Whoa. Health? T, I didn't know you had that last semester.

TINO: .. I didn't.. Health is in place of Gym, and we had Gym together.

CARVER: Why are you all switched?

TISH: .We get new schedules for the new semester Carver.

CARVER: WHAT?

TISH: Carver! How cou-

TINO: It's Carver. I'd just let it go.

TISH: You're right.. Anyways, I personally am excited for Orchestra this semester.

TINO: You're doing orchestra..? What instrument will you play?

CARVER: HA! I know that one! The dulcimer! I'm right... right?

TINO: I know that's what she's always played, but there is a regimented list of orchestra instruments in the orchestra, and I'm sure dulcimer isn't one of them.. Right Tish?

(TISH is frozen)

TINO: .Honey?

TISH: .. I though the dulcimer would be fine.. What am I going to do?

CARVER: (loudly) You could not always play the stupid-ass dulcimer (muttering) Don't worry, you'll think of something.

(TISH, TINO and LOR stare)

CARVER: Crap. I said the loud thing quiet and the quiet thing loud, didn't I?

(MONDAY, Orchestra Class, Tish sits nervously in her seat)

MR. OBOSKY: Okay. now. Petramishnovakoff Katoneintales? TISH: Uh.. Petratishkovna Katsufrakis.

MR. OBOSKY: Yes. What is your instrument?

TISH: Um.. Dulcimer.

MR. OBOSKY: I'm sorry.

TISH (clarifying): DULCIMER.

MR. OBOSKY: No. I heard you. I'm just sorry. Dulcimer, while a charming little instrument in it's. *ahem* enigmatic way, is not a standard Orchestra instrument. You may use a violin, viola, cello or bass. That is all.

TISH: But.

MR. OBOSKY: No ARGUING! I have been a teacher here for 17 years! I've been a cellist for over 30 years! Why.. I'll never recall what the great Yo-Yo Ma said to me.. Well not to me, I read it in an article. he said, "Music is in my soul. To be doing anything else would be a cruel fate."

TISH: . What does that have to do with anything?

MR. OBOSKY: It means pick another instrument, Petriedish Catsopolus

TISH: You didn't even TRY to pronounce.

MR. OBOSKY: Clever girl. NEXT! Chloanina Montellado.. Oh god. how did you manage to stuff your head into that bass?

(MONDAY afternoon, Mario Pizza, the gang's sitting)

PIZZA GUY (jumping out of a green pipe) : It's-a me, a-Mario! I'm-a comin' to-a ask-a, your order?

LOR: We'll have the um. Plumber Pie. with. three quarters. Yosheroni. and one quarter Toadstool Mushroom.

PIZZA GUY: Capische. CARVER: I still say we should have gotten the Koopa Canoli.

TINO: So, Tish, how went orchestra?

TISH: HORRIBLE! This Mr. Obosky guy refuses to let me play the dulcimer. and mispronounced my name.

TINO: He couldn't pronounce Petratishkovna Katsufrakis the first time? That BASTARD.

TISH: Um. you're not allowed to be sarcastic towards me anymore. You lost that right when we went out.

TINO: I'm sorry. that's my nature. I can't stop.

TISH: Don't make me ground you.

TINO: Fine.

LOR: Dude. she can ground you?

TINO: In some ways..

LOR: What ways?

(CARVER, TISH and TINO all stare at LOR)

LOR: I have a feeling your staring is meant to make it clearer.. But it's not.

TINO (rolling his eyes) : So what're you going to do Tish?

TISH: I don't WANT to play another instrument. Although the ocarina has intrigued me. you guys won't know what is, either, I'm sure

TINO and CARVER (simultaneously) : Ocarina- A small terra-cotta or plastic wind instrument with finger holes, a mouthpiece, and an elongated ovoid shape.

TISH: Sure, mention the dulcimer: everyone's clueless; mention something out of a Zelda video game: suddenly everyone's a music expert.

LOR: Well. even if you wanted to play the ocarina you couldn't. right? I mean, 'ocarina' isn't an orchestra option either.

TISH: You're right. argh.. Maybe I should try the bass. or the viola.. I'll ask Mr. Higgenbothom at Strings N Things about it tonight. Will you guys come with me?

CARVER: Well.. I would.. But I don't want to.

TINO: I can't. I've got.spinal ... heel. shoulder. injuries.

LOR: I'm just too damn lazy.

TISH: Tino!

TINO: But. Tish. going with you tonight will seriously conflict with my. lying around plans.

TISH: Tino.

TINO: Okay. fine. just don't ground me.

LOR: OH!!!!! GROUND HIM! You mean you won't let him.. Oh, I get it!!

(MONDAY NIGHT, Strings N Things, TISH and TINO enter)

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Hello Tish, Hello Blonde Kid with Obvious Crush on Tish.

TINO: Oh, we're dating now.

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: How splendid! What can I do for you, Tish?

TISH: Well. I was thinking about switching from dulcimer to something else. possibly the viola?

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Now, why would you want to do a dastardly thing like that? Violas. they're just so. conventional.

TISH: Don't I know it! But dulcimers aren't allowed in the high school orchestra.

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: But you can't! You know what happened in the "The Story of the Girl who Switched Instruments," don't you?

TISH: No.

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Well.. She died.

(TISH raises an eyebrow)

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Okay, let me tell you a story. 40 years ago, back when I was living in Former Soviet Union, as a boy I was approached by a young Dr. Enid VonKoltschunzaff.

TISH: The famed dulcimer-player?

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Yes, that's right. At the time though. I was young, impetuous and I had no idea who Dr. VonKoltschunzaff was. So when she approached me I didn't think anything of it. And she sat me down and asked, "Do you love music?" And I nodded vigorously, for I did. And she replied "One day, will you play an instrument?" Again, I nodded. She said, "Good. good, young Wilhelm," Yes. I know, my name is Ludwig not Wilhelm, but she's a genius cut her some slack, "Now. one day you will be in a position where your high school only lets you play viola, violin, cello or bass, and so you will go into your local instrument story and ask to switch. But you must not!" And so I didn't!

TINO: What? You expect people to buy that-

TISH: Wow! Enid VonKoltschunzaff!

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Yes. and, as you know, she died three years ago, and it was because of what she taught me, that I was able to play my dulcimer at her funeral concert.

TINO: Who the hell has funeral concerts?

TISH: Wow. Mr. Higgenbothom, you've opened my eyes. The dulcimer is what I love and I shouldn't change because of a stupid reason like that. Thank you. (SHE leaves)

MR. HIGGENBOTHOM: Psst. Don't tell Tish, but I made that up.

TINO: .That comment is beyond sarcasm.

(TUESDAY, ORCHESTRA)

MR. OBOSKY: So Miss Pentagon Katalini, have you picked a new instrument?

TISH: No, Mr. Obosky, I have not. I play the dulcimer, and I am great at it. So take me, or leave me.

MR. OBOSKY: Oh. I'm sorry. were you under the impression that I gave a damn? Fine, go. Somehow I'll manage to survive.

TISH: Fine. and for the record. on the sheet music you handed out yesterday you labled that symbol as a treble cleft, it's a base cleft.

MR. OBOSKY: Now listen here. Miss.. Sassypants.. No one insults the great Ernest Obosky and. doesn't get yelled at by me. YOU WILL NEVER PLAY AN INSTRUMENT.. IN MY CLASS.. AGAIN! (TISH storms out) I handled that well.. Gloey Montezepplin! How many times must I tell you, if you wouldn't put the pick there then it wouldn't GET stuck there!

(TUESDAY, TINO's patio, TISH and TINO)

TINO: You sure you're not bummed about not being in orchestra anymore?

TISH: No, I'm okay. I discovered it's more important to be true to myself than stay in orchestra.

TINO: Well. now that you dropped out, what're you going to do?

TISH: I've decided to take study hall.

TINO: B.but that's a non-academic class.

TISH: Yeah. maybe it'll hurt my GPA. but oh well. I don't need to be perfect all the time.

TINO: Wow. that's TWO morals in one sitting.

TISH: Well we had to make up for that whole Mind Melder video fiasco thing, didn't we?

TINO: Yeah. oh that reminds me. I've got to beat Level 484 tonight if I'm to finish the game by May.

TISH: .You're kidding. right?

TINO: One never can tell.