[FRIDAY, Lunch, TINO sits with CARVER and LOR]
CARVER: Oh man, this has been sweet man! I've already gotten fourteen valentine's and the day is half over! Being single is really a sweet deal, you guys, you oughta try it.
LOR: Single? Whoa. what happened to that Christy girl?
CARVER: Christy? OH! Christy! We broke up at the beginning of the semester man, you got to get with it. The girl I got my eyes on right now is by the name of Latisha.
TINO: Latisha, eh? Well, judging by the name my guess is that girl would meet with Gavin's approval.
CARVER: No talk of assholes like that on Valentine's Day, Tino. So, Lor, what're your V-Day plans?
LOR: Oh nothing too complicated, see Thompson says he doesn't like to get into the whole commercialization of Valentine's Day with a bunch of stupid flowers and chocolates, he says the holidays not about gifts and fanciness.
TINO: Sounds like someone's cheap.
LOR: Say that again and I'll staple your ass to your face!
TINO: Ouch. touchy touchy.
LOR: *Anyways* he thinks what Valentine's is really about is two people sharing a special connection and deep bond between them.
CARVER: So your plan is.?
LOR (giggling): We're going to fool around in the backseat of his car.
TINO: And they say romance is dead.
LOR: Aw well, I'm not the "flowers" kind girl anyways.
CARVER: Well, what're your Valentine's Plans then, T?
TINO: Well. something tells me that Tish is into the gifts and fanciness that Thompson and you are apparently way to sophisticated for.
LOR: Sarcasm about the Thompson thing?
TINO: It's hard to tell with me.
LOR: Continue.
TINO: Anyways, I got us reservations at Chez Saucisson.
CARVER: Wow. () Impressive.
TINO: I know. I really want to make tonight special because this is the first night Tish and I have been out together in a long time, what with her rehearsals for the musical and my.. Engagements.
LOR: Dude, you can you're on the chess team, we already know.
TINO: Right well, we haven't been on a date since mid-January and so I want everything to go perfectly right.
LOR: Don't worry Tino, what could go wrong?
TINO (angrily): Oh damn it, Lor! Just by saying 'what could go wrong?' you've ENSURED something will go wrong.
LOR: What.?
TINO: It's called irony! You know, like when you do something even remotely intelligent.
CARVER: Oooh. that was below the belt.
LOR: Tino. I can't believe you.
TINO: Lor. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
LOR: Shut up, Tino, I don't want to hear it. (LOR storms away.)
TINO: *What* is her problem?
CARVER: Well.
TINO: Nah, forget it, I don't have time to worry about Lor, I'm trying to think of a rhyme for "invigorating" for the poem I'm writing for Tish.
CARVER (sighs): Yeah, T, heaven forbid Lor and I rival your precious "Tishie-Poo"
TINO: Carver, what're you- Wait. Tishie-Poo? HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON MY DATES!
CARVER: Oh don't try to squirm your way out of trouble by calling attention to the fact that I'm a weird pervert. You're being a bad friend and you know it. I'll see you. (HE storms away.)
(TINO stares in mild shock at what has just taken place. Seconds later, CARVER comes back)
CARVER: And *Tishie-Poo* what are you, married?
[FRIDAY, English Class, 1:13, TINO races through the door]
TINO: Sorry I'm late Mrs. Cubbins! My locker wouldn't open, someone had jammed gum in the lock.
MRS. CUBBINS: Well, that's warning number 1 for today, Tino, dear. And "When you get warnings 2."
CLASS (dully): ".Detention, detention, happens to you."
MRS. CUBBINS: Isn't that a delightful little rhyme? So, Tino, dear, make sure not to get another warning today.
TINO: Don't you worry Mrs. Cubbins. I won't!
MRS. CUBBINS: Good. Now sit down, and continue reading from 1984.
TINO: Sure thing.
(TINO sits down and begins reading, suddenly MRS. CUBBINS calls him up.)
MRS. CUBBINS: Tino, come up here NOW!
(Bemused, TINO walks up to her.)
MRS. CUBBINS: Tino, I just found this note on my desk. Please tell me the meaning of it. It reads: Dear Mrs. Cubbins, I hate you, are a stupid old hag, signed Tino Tonitini.
TINO: What?!? I didn't write that! (MRS. CUBBINS glared at him unbelievingly) I swear Mrs. Cubbins, I didn't! Why would I have? If I was going to write a letter saying you're a stupid old hag I wouldn't sign it with my OWN name! Not that I have any intention of writing such a letter.. But that doesn't even look like my own hand-writing. It's ridiculous.
MRS. CUBBINS: Well. I won't report this to the principal, but I am giving you another warning. You have a detention!
TINO: But Mrs. Cubbins you can't! If I have detention I won't get home until late, then I have to get ready for my date, and I'll probably be late! This is a very important date! Tish and I haven't gone out for a month and to celebrate she said she'd let me. (clears his throat) Okay. detention it is. (sits down in misery.)
(FRIDAY, Gym Locker room, 2:58, TINO and CARVER are changing out of their Gym clothes)
CARVER: So you didn't write the letter?
TINO: Of course not! Why would I do something like that?
CARVER: Well that's really gotta suck man.
TINO: Don't I know it! By the time I get home it'll be 5:30, that leaves me an hour to get ready, get the roses I ordered for Tish, and be at Chez Saucisson. I'll be pressed, but I think I'll be okay.
(They finish getting dressed and leave the gym, their last period.)
CARVER: Bummer man, good luck with detention.
TINO: Right.
(HE waves bye to CARVER and walks to the detention room, and sits down. Soon after MR. OBOSKY enters)
MR. OBOSKY: Hello you n'er-do-wells. I am the practice warden for when you rotten scoundrels are in prison, as well as orchestra teacher extrordinaire Mr. Obosky!
KID IN DETENTION: Shut up you arrogant freak!
MR. OBOSKY: I will not stand here and be insulted!
ANOTHER KID IN DETENTION: Fine, stand somewhere else, we'll insult you there. (The majority of the class laughs)
MR. OBOSKY: Listen, you future Charles Manson, I never forget an insult!
YET ANOTHER KID IN DETENTION: Well then here's a few more for you to remember. You stupid, spineless, egotistical, snot-nosed jackass. (more laughs)
MR. OBOSKY: THAT'S ENOUGH! THE NEXT PERSON TO MAKE A SOUND GETS 30 MINUTES MORE DETENTION!
(Everyone gets quiet.)
MR. OBOSKY: Hmm. that's what I THOUGHT! Now, begin working on your homework.
(Minutes go by in silence, Tino clears his throat)
MR. OBOSKY: That's it! 30 minutes more detention!
TINO: WHAT?!? That's so unfair, I was just clearing my throat!
MR. OBOSKY: That's enough out of you Mr. Sassypants. Speak again and you'll get ANOTHER 30 minutes!
(Sulkilly, TINO buries his head in his arms)
(FRIDAY, 5:45, TINO leaves the detention room)
TINO: Damn it! I'm never going to be home in time! I need to call Tish. damn, but I forgot her number.
(In his rush he passes LOR)
TINO: Lor? What're you doing here?
LOR: Just finished basketball practice. Whoa, what's up?
TINO: I'm going to be super-late for my date with Tish, do you know her number?
LOR: Yeah. It's 693-7026.
TINO: Thanks a bunch! Well, seeya.
(TINO waves by to LOR and runs to a pay phone, puts coins into the slots, and dials)
TINO: Hello, is Tish there? .Oh this is the wrong number? Is this 693-7026? .Yes, I know this is the wrong number I just wan- Hello.? Hello? ARGH!!
(HE dials again.)
TINO: Hi, is Tish there? .Oh you again! Listen this is one dollar I just wasted, I just want to know if I dialed wrong or- Hello? DAMN!
(TINO slams the phone down, and begins running home)
(FRIDAY, TINO's Front Door, 6:04, TINO rushes up to the door, and pulls on it. It doesn't open.)
TINO: Argh! [begins to furiously ring the doorbell] MOM? MOM!!!! Why isn't she home? Okay. that's fine, I'll just get the key from under the welcome tatami earth-friendly mat.
[HE looks under the mat. no key. TINO lets fly a range of expletives.]
TINO: God. I guess I'll just wait for Mom to get home.
(FRIDAY, TINO's front door, 6:31, TINO'S MOM comes walking casually up to the front door.)
TINO'S MOM: Oh hi honey. I just got back from Herbal day at the Community Center, it was quite fun.
TINO: YOU NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT A FREAKIN' HERBAL DAY!
TINO'S MOM: I found a free pass on the doorstep this afternoon, relax. Your karma is all out of whack.
TINO: WHATEVER! JUST HURRY UP! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE RESTAURANT ALREADY!
[TINO'S MOM unlocks the door with her key and TINO goes flying into the house.]
(FRIDAY, Duong's Flower Festivities, 6:41, TINO rushes in.)
TINO: MRS DUONG! I HAVE AN ORDER FOR FLOWERS!
MRS. DUONG: Oh hi Tino. But. your order was cancelled twenty minutes ago. I've given your order to somebody else.
TINO: WHAT? WHO CANCELLED IT?
MRS. DUONG: I'm not sure. it was someone else who took the cancellation.
TINO: WELL I NEVER WANTED IT TO BE CANCELLED!
MRS. DUONG: Okay, well calm down. I can still get your order of twelve peaseblossoms, it'll just take me a few moments.
(SHE begins looking for the flowers, whilst TINO strums nervously on the counter.)
MRS. DUONG: Ahh. here we are. That'll be 14.75.
TINO: BUT I ALREADY PAID!
MRS. DUONG: Yes, but your order was cancelled.
TINO: Fine. [HE flings some money at her.]
MRS. DUONG: Thank you, and please remember to join the Helper's Helping the Helpless annual-
TINO: AHH! NO TIME!
[HE rushes out the door and jumps into the car]
TINO: DRIVE, MOTHER! DRIVE!
(FRIDAY, FrankenPizza, LOR enters the pizza place and sits at CARVER'S table.)
CARVER: Oh hey Lor. Don't you have a big make-out date with Thompson.
LOR: Yeah, but that's not for another hour or so. I'm sure you have a date.
CARVER: Yeah, two of'em, but that doesn't start for a while either. Man, did you hear about Tino? He's been having the worst luck.
LOR (giggles): Oh yeah.. I heard.
CARVER: Oh wait.. Don't tell me.
LOR: Yep! It was me! I jammed gum in his locker, sent a mean note to his teacher from him, gave him the wrong number for Tish's phone, put a free pass to some Herbal thing Tino's Mom would like on her doorstep, removed the key from the mat and cancelled his flower reservation.
CARVER: But. why?
LOR: He called me stupid!
CARVER: We all call you stupid all the time! That's your only reason?
LOR: Yeah. well. it was fun too.
CARVER: Okay, now I get it.
(FRIDAY, Chez Saucisson, 6:50, TINO practically dives out of the car.)
TINO: Okay. I'm here.. I'm a twenty minutes late. but I'm here. I hope Tish is not Now, where's Tish?
(A car pulls up. TISH comes out of it, looking radiant.)
TISH: Hey Tino. Sorry I'm late.
TINO: Yeah. well.. You should be. I mean, I've been waiting here for TWENTY minutes. We've probably missed our reservation.
TISH: Hmm. that place is pretentious anyway. Anyway I can make it up to you?
TINO: I can think of a few ways.
[Gray background.]
TINO: Well. All's well that end's well. Later days!
CARVER: Oh man, this has been sweet man! I've already gotten fourteen valentine's and the day is half over! Being single is really a sweet deal, you guys, you oughta try it.
LOR: Single? Whoa. what happened to that Christy girl?
CARVER: Christy? OH! Christy! We broke up at the beginning of the semester man, you got to get with it. The girl I got my eyes on right now is by the name of Latisha.
TINO: Latisha, eh? Well, judging by the name my guess is that girl would meet with Gavin's approval.
CARVER: No talk of assholes like that on Valentine's Day, Tino. So, Lor, what're your V-Day plans?
LOR: Oh nothing too complicated, see Thompson says he doesn't like to get into the whole commercialization of Valentine's Day with a bunch of stupid flowers and chocolates, he says the holidays not about gifts and fanciness.
TINO: Sounds like someone's cheap.
LOR: Say that again and I'll staple your ass to your face!
TINO: Ouch. touchy touchy.
LOR: *Anyways* he thinks what Valentine's is really about is two people sharing a special connection and deep bond between them.
CARVER: So your plan is.?
LOR (giggling): We're going to fool around in the backseat of his car.
TINO: And they say romance is dead.
LOR: Aw well, I'm not the "flowers" kind girl anyways.
CARVER: Well, what're your Valentine's Plans then, T?
TINO: Well. something tells me that Tish is into the gifts and fanciness that Thompson and you are apparently way to sophisticated for.
LOR: Sarcasm about the Thompson thing?
TINO: It's hard to tell with me.
LOR: Continue.
TINO: Anyways, I got us reservations at Chez Saucisson.
CARVER: Wow. () Impressive.
TINO: I know. I really want to make tonight special because this is the first night Tish and I have been out together in a long time, what with her rehearsals for the musical and my.. Engagements.
LOR: Dude, you can you're on the chess team, we already know.
TINO: Right well, we haven't been on a date since mid-January and so I want everything to go perfectly right.
LOR: Don't worry Tino, what could go wrong?
TINO (angrily): Oh damn it, Lor! Just by saying 'what could go wrong?' you've ENSURED something will go wrong.
LOR: What.?
TINO: It's called irony! You know, like when you do something even remotely intelligent.
CARVER: Oooh. that was below the belt.
LOR: Tino. I can't believe you.
TINO: Lor. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
LOR: Shut up, Tino, I don't want to hear it. (LOR storms away.)
TINO: *What* is her problem?
CARVER: Well.
TINO: Nah, forget it, I don't have time to worry about Lor, I'm trying to think of a rhyme for "invigorating" for the poem I'm writing for Tish.
CARVER (sighs): Yeah, T, heaven forbid Lor and I rival your precious "Tishie-Poo"
TINO: Carver, what're you- Wait. Tishie-Poo? HAVE YOU BEEN SPYING ON MY DATES!
CARVER: Oh don't try to squirm your way out of trouble by calling attention to the fact that I'm a weird pervert. You're being a bad friend and you know it. I'll see you. (HE storms away.)
(TINO stares in mild shock at what has just taken place. Seconds later, CARVER comes back)
CARVER: And *Tishie-Poo* what are you, married?
[FRIDAY, English Class, 1:13, TINO races through the door]
TINO: Sorry I'm late Mrs. Cubbins! My locker wouldn't open, someone had jammed gum in the lock.
MRS. CUBBINS: Well, that's warning number 1 for today, Tino, dear. And "When you get warnings 2."
CLASS (dully): ".Detention, detention, happens to you."
MRS. CUBBINS: Isn't that a delightful little rhyme? So, Tino, dear, make sure not to get another warning today.
TINO: Don't you worry Mrs. Cubbins. I won't!
MRS. CUBBINS: Good. Now sit down, and continue reading from 1984.
TINO: Sure thing.
(TINO sits down and begins reading, suddenly MRS. CUBBINS calls him up.)
MRS. CUBBINS: Tino, come up here NOW!
(Bemused, TINO walks up to her.)
MRS. CUBBINS: Tino, I just found this note on my desk. Please tell me the meaning of it. It reads: Dear Mrs. Cubbins, I hate you, are a stupid old hag, signed Tino Tonitini.
TINO: What?!? I didn't write that! (MRS. CUBBINS glared at him unbelievingly) I swear Mrs. Cubbins, I didn't! Why would I have? If I was going to write a letter saying you're a stupid old hag I wouldn't sign it with my OWN name! Not that I have any intention of writing such a letter.. But that doesn't even look like my own hand-writing. It's ridiculous.
MRS. CUBBINS: Well. I won't report this to the principal, but I am giving you another warning. You have a detention!
TINO: But Mrs. Cubbins you can't! If I have detention I won't get home until late, then I have to get ready for my date, and I'll probably be late! This is a very important date! Tish and I haven't gone out for a month and to celebrate she said she'd let me. (clears his throat) Okay. detention it is. (sits down in misery.)
(FRIDAY, Gym Locker room, 2:58, TINO and CARVER are changing out of their Gym clothes)
CARVER: So you didn't write the letter?
TINO: Of course not! Why would I do something like that?
CARVER: Well that's really gotta suck man.
TINO: Don't I know it! By the time I get home it'll be 5:30, that leaves me an hour to get ready, get the roses I ordered for Tish, and be at Chez Saucisson. I'll be pressed, but I think I'll be okay.
(They finish getting dressed and leave the gym, their last period.)
CARVER: Bummer man, good luck with detention.
TINO: Right.
(HE waves bye to CARVER and walks to the detention room, and sits down. Soon after MR. OBOSKY enters)
MR. OBOSKY: Hello you n'er-do-wells. I am the practice warden for when you rotten scoundrels are in prison, as well as orchestra teacher extrordinaire Mr. Obosky!
KID IN DETENTION: Shut up you arrogant freak!
MR. OBOSKY: I will not stand here and be insulted!
ANOTHER KID IN DETENTION: Fine, stand somewhere else, we'll insult you there. (The majority of the class laughs)
MR. OBOSKY: Listen, you future Charles Manson, I never forget an insult!
YET ANOTHER KID IN DETENTION: Well then here's a few more for you to remember. You stupid, spineless, egotistical, snot-nosed jackass. (more laughs)
MR. OBOSKY: THAT'S ENOUGH! THE NEXT PERSON TO MAKE A SOUND GETS 30 MINUTES MORE DETENTION!
(Everyone gets quiet.)
MR. OBOSKY: Hmm. that's what I THOUGHT! Now, begin working on your homework.
(Minutes go by in silence, Tino clears his throat)
MR. OBOSKY: That's it! 30 minutes more detention!
TINO: WHAT?!? That's so unfair, I was just clearing my throat!
MR. OBOSKY: That's enough out of you Mr. Sassypants. Speak again and you'll get ANOTHER 30 minutes!
(Sulkilly, TINO buries his head in his arms)
(FRIDAY, 5:45, TINO leaves the detention room)
TINO: Damn it! I'm never going to be home in time! I need to call Tish. damn, but I forgot her number.
(In his rush he passes LOR)
TINO: Lor? What're you doing here?
LOR: Just finished basketball practice. Whoa, what's up?
TINO: I'm going to be super-late for my date with Tish, do you know her number?
LOR: Yeah. It's 693-7026.
TINO: Thanks a bunch! Well, seeya.
(TINO waves by to LOR and runs to a pay phone, puts coins into the slots, and dials)
TINO: Hello, is Tish there? .Oh this is the wrong number? Is this 693-7026? .Yes, I know this is the wrong number I just wan- Hello.? Hello? ARGH!!
(HE dials again.)
TINO: Hi, is Tish there? .Oh you again! Listen this is one dollar I just wasted, I just want to know if I dialed wrong or- Hello? DAMN!
(TINO slams the phone down, and begins running home)
(FRIDAY, TINO's Front Door, 6:04, TINO rushes up to the door, and pulls on it. It doesn't open.)
TINO: Argh! [begins to furiously ring the doorbell] MOM? MOM!!!! Why isn't she home? Okay. that's fine, I'll just get the key from under the welcome tatami earth-friendly mat.
[HE looks under the mat. no key. TINO lets fly a range of expletives.]
TINO: God. I guess I'll just wait for Mom to get home.
(FRIDAY, TINO's front door, 6:31, TINO'S MOM comes walking casually up to the front door.)
TINO'S MOM: Oh hi honey. I just got back from Herbal day at the Community Center, it was quite fun.
TINO: YOU NEVER MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT A FREAKIN' HERBAL DAY!
TINO'S MOM: I found a free pass on the doorstep this afternoon, relax. Your karma is all out of whack.
TINO: WHATEVER! JUST HURRY UP! I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE RESTAURANT ALREADY!
[TINO'S MOM unlocks the door with her key and TINO goes flying into the house.]
(FRIDAY, Duong's Flower Festivities, 6:41, TINO rushes in.)
TINO: MRS DUONG! I HAVE AN ORDER FOR FLOWERS!
MRS. DUONG: Oh hi Tino. But. your order was cancelled twenty minutes ago. I've given your order to somebody else.
TINO: WHAT? WHO CANCELLED IT?
MRS. DUONG: I'm not sure. it was someone else who took the cancellation.
TINO: WELL I NEVER WANTED IT TO BE CANCELLED!
MRS. DUONG: Okay, well calm down. I can still get your order of twelve peaseblossoms, it'll just take me a few moments.
(SHE begins looking for the flowers, whilst TINO strums nervously on the counter.)
MRS. DUONG: Ahh. here we are. That'll be 14.75.
TINO: BUT I ALREADY PAID!
MRS. DUONG: Yes, but your order was cancelled.
TINO: Fine. [HE flings some money at her.]
MRS. DUONG: Thank you, and please remember to join the Helper's Helping the Helpless annual-
TINO: AHH! NO TIME!
[HE rushes out the door and jumps into the car]
TINO: DRIVE, MOTHER! DRIVE!
(FRIDAY, FrankenPizza, LOR enters the pizza place and sits at CARVER'S table.)
CARVER: Oh hey Lor. Don't you have a big make-out date with Thompson.
LOR: Yeah, but that's not for another hour or so. I'm sure you have a date.
CARVER: Yeah, two of'em, but that doesn't start for a while either. Man, did you hear about Tino? He's been having the worst luck.
LOR (giggles): Oh yeah.. I heard.
CARVER: Oh wait.. Don't tell me.
LOR: Yep! It was me! I jammed gum in his locker, sent a mean note to his teacher from him, gave him the wrong number for Tish's phone, put a free pass to some Herbal thing Tino's Mom would like on her doorstep, removed the key from the mat and cancelled his flower reservation.
CARVER: But. why?
LOR: He called me stupid!
CARVER: We all call you stupid all the time! That's your only reason?
LOR: Yeah. well. it was fun too.
CARVER: Okay, now I get it.
(FRIDAY, Chez Saucisson, 6:50, TINO practically dives out of the car.)
TINO: Okay. I'm here.. I'm a twenty minutes late. but I'm here. I hope Tish is not Now, where's Tish?
(A car pulls up. TISH comes out of it, looking radiant.)
TISH: Hey Tino. Sorry I'm late.
TINO: Yeah. well.. You should be. I mean, I've been waiting here for TWENTY minutes. We've probably missed our reservation.
TISH: Hmm. that place is pretentious anyway. Anyway I can make it up to you?
TINO: I can think of a few ways.
[Gray background.]
TINO: Well. All's well that end's well. Later days!
