(SATURDAY, 5:39 PM, CARVER'S front stoop, TINO rings the doorbell, CARVER
answers the door, while on the phone.)
TINO: Hey Carv, what's-
[CARVER holds up his index finger to silence TINO
CARVER: Oh I know.. I know.. Really, baby, you flatter me. No, I wouldn't do that with any other girl. Ha ha. Oh I love you too. Okay, bye.
[HE hangs up.]
CARVER: Hey, T.
TINO: Who was that?
[THEY go inside and sit down on couches.]
CARVER: Krist. i..na. I think. Something that starts with "Krist"
TINO: Wow, for being someone you love you're not too knowledgeable about her name.
CARVER: Oh that. Well that's just something people say, y'know?
TINO: Riiiiiiight. So, question for ya. You said, "No, I wouldn't do that with any other girl," Do *what* exactly?
[CARVER smiles, devilishly]
TINO: Yeah, the devilish smile only tells me what I already know, I sorta meant specifically.
CARVER: Let's just say. further than YOU.
TINO: Come on!
CARVER: Well. I'd say I'm roundin' third. Have you even been up to bat, yet?
TINO: Now, now, you underestimate Tish.
CARVER: Yeah, I'm sure.
TINO: Hey! We've been going out since the beginning of the school year, which is now going to be over in a couple of months! That's a while, we've done *some* stuff.
CARVER: That may be true, but I've probably done more stuff with *way* more people.
TINO: You know, Carv. I'm not exactly sure that is such a good thing. I mean, I always knew that you went from girl to girl but. I thought you were into them at the time, and that you just. I don't know. had a short attention span. But lately I've gotten the sense that it's not the girl's themselves that you're into.
CARVER: You know T, I sorta resent that.
TINO: Well.
CARVER: Look, don't sweat it, T. We're late for the movie right? Let's go.
(SATURDAY, 6:04 PM, The Bijou Movie Theater, CARVER, TINO, TISH and LOR.)
TINO: So. Carver, shouldn't you be getting popcorn?
CARVER: Um. actually T, I'm not that hungry.
TINO: Yeah? Well. what about the rest of us, huh? Or do you only think of yourself, ALL THE TIME?
CARVER: Uh yeah. okay. I guess I could go get some popcorn.
TINO: Damn right you could, sodas too!
CARVER: Okay. [HE gets up and goes to the concession stand.]
TISH: So, Tino, what was with the entirely conspicuous getting-rid-of- Carver?
TINO: I needed to talk to you guys about something. You know how Carver's always going out with girl after girl?
LOR: Yeah?
TINO: Well. don't you think it's kind of wrong? I mean, he doesn't seem to care much about them. I remember bumping into Moira with Carver after they broke up, she seemed furious with him. I just don't think he's doing the most honorable thing here.
TISH: Did you try talking to him about it?
TINO: Well, yeah, sorta. But I mean, what am I going to say? "Carver, you're acting like a horrible person, and you need to only go out with girls if you like them?"
TISH: Yeah. that's exactly what you should say.
TINO: But he'll be furious.
TISH: He's done bonehead things before, and you've talked to him down, like remember that thing with Gavin and the fight?
LOR: Yeah, that turned out alright, didn't it?
TINO (sighing): Sort of.
TISH: What do you mean, sort of?
TINO: Nothing. just forget about it, he'll be back any minute. I'll think of something.
(SUNDAY, 1:29 PM, TINO sits at his kitchen table reading a Captain Dreadnought comic, TINO'S MOM enters.)
TINO'S MOM: Hi sweetie.
TINO: Oh, hey Mom.
[TINO'S MOM walks towards the phone and dials a number.]
TINO'S MOM: Hello? Oh, hi Moira, is your Dad there?
TINO: WAIT! [HE jumps up and grabs the phone.] Moira, can I talk to you? Oh, this is Tino, by the way.
TINO'S MOM: Tino, what're you-
TINO: SHH! Go!
TINO'S MOM: You can't just tell me to-
TINO: GO!
[TINO'S MOM exits, grumbling.]
TINO: Moira? You remember when you were going out with Carver?
MOIRA: Yeah..? Why? He doesn't want me back does he?:
TINO: Er. I don't think so.
MOIRA: Good, that pig.
TINO: Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about. Why is he a pig?
MOIRA: Well. we had been going out for a month or two, everything was going fine, and then he starts convincing me we should go further, and I was unsure. But he was going on and on about it's only natural if we care about each other and blah, blah, blah. So we did go further, not too far, but further than I felt perfectly comfortable going, and then BAM, a week later, he dumps me.
TINO: Hmm. I was afraid it was something like this.
MOIRA: And I've heard from my friend Julie that her sister Christy went out for Carver for less time than I did, and went further, it seems to be a pattern with him. I know you're friends with him and everything, but he's really a pig.
TINO: I can't honestly say that I blame you for feeling this way.
MOIRA: Yeah, there's about four other girls he's done this to, too! And I've heard he likes Cheri Montaigne, so I bet she's next.
TINO: Cheri? She's in my creative drawing class, I talk to her all the time.
MOIRA: Well nice doesn't seem to matter to Carver Descartes, all he seems to care is if they're hot and easy.
TINO: Hmm. well thanks Moira.
MOIRA: Not a problem. Did your Mom want to talk to my Dad?
TINO: Oh yeah. (Away from the phone) HEY MOM! OKAY, YOU CAN TALK TO DIXON NOW!
[TINO'S MOM enters and takes the phone from TINO]
TINO'S MOM: Oh, I'm allowed to use my OWN phone now? I'm so honored.
TINO: Don't pout, Mom. It's not becoming.
(MONDAY, TINO'S creative drawing class, 10:38 AM, TINO sits in a chair, drawing. creatively, CHERI MONTAIGNE approaches)
CHERI: Hi Tino.
TINO: Oh. Hey Cheri.
CHERI: So, word around the campfire is Carver Descartes likes me?
TINO: Campfire.?
CHERI: Metaphor.
TINO: Ahh.
CHERI: So, you know him well, think we'd be a good couple?
[TINO hesitates]
TINO: Well. he's one of my best friends in the world.
CHERI: Okay! All I needed to know! Thanks a bunch! So how're things going wi-
TINO: Wait.
CHERI: What?
TINO: I don't think you should go out with him. not if you want to be respected the way you should be.
CHERI: Oh. I've heard rumors about that. I guess I didn't know if that was true. Hey, thanks Tino, it was good of you to come clean, even if he is your friend. Well. I'd better get back to my desk, you know how Mr. Arbuckle gets. Bye.
[As SHE walks away, Grayed Out Background appears.]
TINO: Well. Did I do the right thing? Hard to say. I certainly wasn't a very good friend to Carver, yet I mean, look what he did to Moira and all those other girls? (HE sighs) Oh well. I did what I did, and I hope it was the right decision. Later days.
TINO: Hey Carv, what's-
[CARVER holds up his index finger to silence TINO
CARVER: Oh I know.. I know.. Really, baby, you flatter me. No, I wouldn't do that with any other girl. Ha ha. Oh I love you too. Okay, bye.
[HE hangs up.]
CARVER: Hey, T.
TINO: Who was that?
[THEY go inside and sit down on couches.]
CARVER: Krist. i..na. I think. Something that starts with "Krist"
TINO: Wow, for being someone you love you're not too knowledgeable about her name.
CARVER: Oh that. Well that's just something people say, y'know?
TINO: Riiiiiiight. So, question for ya. You said, "No, I wouldn't do that with any other girl," Do *what* exactly?
[CARVER smiles, devilishly]
TINO: Yeah, the devilish smile only tells me what I already know, I sorta meant specifically.
CARVER: Let's just say. further than YOU.
TINO: Come on!
CARVER: Well. I'd say I'm roundin' third. Have you even been up to bat, yet?
TINO: Now, now, you underestimate Tish.
CARVER: Yeah, I'm sure.
TINO: Hey! We've been going out since the beginning of the school year, which is now going to be over in a couple of months! That's a while, we've done *some* stuff.
CARVER: That may be true, but I've probably done more stuff with *way* more people.
TINO: You know, Carv. I'm not exactly sure that is such a good thing. I mean, I always knew that you went from girl to girl but. I thought you were into them at the time, and that you just. I don't know. had a short attention span. But lately I've gotten the sense that it's not the girl's themselves that you're into.
CARVER: You know T, I sorta resent that.
TINO: Well.
CARVER: Look, don't sweat it, T. We're late for the movie right? Let's go.
(SATURDAY, 6:04 PM, The Bijou Movie Theater, CARVER, TINO, TISH and LOR.)
TINO: So. Carver, shouldn't you be getting popcorn?
CARVER: Um. actually T, I'm not that hungry.
TINO: Yeah? Well. what about the rest of us, huh? Or do you only think of yourself, ALL THE TIME?
CARVER: Uh yeah. okay. I guess I could go get some popcorn.
TINO: Damn right you could, sodas too!
CARVER: Okay. [HE gets up and goes to the concession stand.]
TISH: So, Tino, what was with the entirely conspicuous getting-rid-of- Carver?
TINO: I needed to talk to you guys about something. You know how Carver's always going out with girl after girl?
LOR: Yeah?
TINO: Well. don't you think it's kind of wrong? I mean, he doesn't seem to care much about them. I remember bumping into Moira with Carver after they broke up, she seemed furious with him. I just don't think he's doing the most honorable thing here.
TISH: Did you try talking to him about it?
TINO: Well, yeah, sorta. But I mean, what am I going to say? "Carver, you're acting like a horrible person, and you need to only go out with girls if you like them?"
TISH: Yeah. that's exactly what you should say.
TINO: But he'll be furious.
TISH: He's done bonehead things before, and you've talked to him down, like remember that thing with Gavin and the fight?
LOR: Yeah, that turned out alright, didn't it?
TINO (sighing): Sort of.
TISH: What do you mean, sort of?
TINO: Nothing. just forget about it, he'll be back any minute. I'll think of something.
(SUNDAY, 1:29 PM, TINO sits at his kitchen table reading a Captain Dreadnought comic, TINO'S MOM enters.)
TINO'S MOM: Hi sweetie.
TINO: Oh, hey Mom.
[TINO'S MOM walks towards the phone and dials a number.]
TINO'S MOM: Hello? Oh, hi Moira, is your Dad there?
TINO: WAIT! [HE jumps up and grabs the phone.] Moira, can I talk to you? Oh, this is Tino, by the way.
TINO'S MOM: Tino, what're you-
TINO: SHH! Go!
TINO'S MOM: You can't just tell me to-
TINO: GO!
[TINO'S MOM exits, grumbling.]
TINO: Moira? You remember when you were going out with Carver?
MOIRA: Yeah..? Why? He doesn't want me back does he?:
TINO: Er. I don't think so.
MOIRA: Good, that pig.
TINO: Yeah, that's what I wanted to talk about. Why is he a pig?
MOIRA: Well. we had been going out for a month or two, everything was going fine, and then he starts convincing me we should go further, and I was unsure. But he was going on and on about it's only natural if we care about each other and blah, blah, blah. So we did go further, not too far, but further than I felt perfectly comfortable going, and then BAM, a week later, he dumps me.
TINO: Hmm. I was afraid it was something like this.
MOIRA: And I've heard from my friend Julie that her sister Christy went out for Carver for less time than I did, and went further, it seems to be a pattern with him. I know you're friends with him and everything, but he's really a pig.
TINO: I can't honestly say that I blame you for feeling this way.
MOIRA: Yeah, there's about four other girls he's done this to, too! And I've heard he likes Cheri Montaigne, so I bet she's next.
TINO: Cheri? She's in my creative drawing class, I talk to her all the time.
MOIRA: Well nice doesn't seem to matter to Carver Descartes, all he seems to care is if they're hot and easy.
TINO: Hmm. well thanks Moira.
MOIRA: Not a problem. Did your Mom want to talk to my Dad?
TINO: Oh yeah. (Away from the phone) HEY MOM! OKAY, YOU CAN TALK TO DIXON NOW!
[TINO'S MOM enters and takes the phone from TINO]
TINO'S MOM: Oh, I'm allowed to use my OWN phone now? I'm so honored.
TINO: Don't pout, Mom. It's not becoming.
(MONDAY, TINO'S creative drawing class, 10:38 AM, TINO sits in a chair, drawing. creatively, CHERI MONTAIGNE approaches)
CHERI: Hi Tino.
TINO: Oh. Hey Cheri.
CHERI: So, word around the campfire is Carver Descartes likes me?
TINO: Campfire.?
CHERI: Metaphor.
TINO: Ahh.
CHERI: So, you know him well, think we'd be a good couple?
[TINO hesitates]
TINO: Well. he's one of my best friends in the world.
CHERI: Okay! All I needed to know! Thanks a bunch! So how're things going wi-
TINO: Wait.
CHERI: What?
TINO: I don't think you should go out with him. not if you want to be respected the way you should be.
CHERI: Oh. I've heard rumors about that. I guess I didn't know if that was true. Hey, thanks Tino, it was good of you to come clean, even if he is your friend. Well. I'd better get back to my desk, you know how Mr. Arbuckle gets. Bye.
[As SHE walks away, Grayed Out Background appears.]
TINO: Well. Did I do the right thing? Hard to say. I certainly wasn't a very good friend to Carver, yet I mean, look what he did to Moira and all those other girls? (HE sighs) Oh well. I did what I did, and I hope it was the right decision. Later days.
