Warning: Drunkenness, stupidity, silliness, yaoi, so on and so forth. By now you should be well aware what's involved ^_^
Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Wing or the characters.
Plead: Reviews!
-Kate
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Chapter Seven ; Ding Dong the Witch is... Drunk
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Like usual, everyone stared at Duo for a good twenty minutes. They were frantically trying to absorb how dangerous this game could be if they were to participate. The only occupants of the room that didn't seem at all bothered by the fact they could end up with a good case of amnesia and odd messages scrolled on random body parts were Treize and Heero. Heero was used to what happened during these charades and actually found them interesting, where as Treize was just blissfully ignorant. It also helped that Treize was scheming up a sick little plan that he was hoping to put into motion once the room became inebriated. He truly was the perfect politician.
"So, how exactly do we play this game Duo?" As always, Milliardo was the one to ask the good questions.
"Well, it's simple really. It's just a twist on the normal truth or dare and that game where you roll dice that tell you what to do. But instead of dice telling you to kiss, lick, grope or whatever a body part, they tell you to drink a certain amount of a certain type of alcohol." Duo stated.
"Uh, how does that have anything to do with Truth or Dare?" Trowa questioned.
"Hold your horses, I'm getting there!" Duo huffed while glaring at the rest of the group. "The Truth or Dare part determines how many times you roll the dice. If you take a truth you have to roll the dice before and after the question. If you take a dare, you only have to roll the dice after."
Everyone looked to each other with a raised brow. The great Shinigami had a very warped mind. No sane person could have thought up such a strange game. None the less everyone started to murmur between each other about how much fun it might turn out to be.
"So, are we going to do it or not?" Duo asked the babbling mass.
"Sure. Why the hell not?" Quatre chirped.
Everyone stared at Quatre. Quatre stared back. Everyone began to sweat drop. Quatre smiled brightly.
"Can't always be a prude now can I?" The blonde Arabian smiled. He looked as triumphant as ever. Trowa looked over at him with a raised brow before patting his shoulder.
"I'd have to vouch for him on that one guys." Trowa beamed like a proud father. That may not exactly be the best way to put it. At all.
Once again everyone was given a quick task to do to prepare for the game. The kitchenette table was moved back into the kitchen, the coffee table was kept against the TV for safety, the fire screen was put over the fire to make sure no one fell into it, and everyone grabbed all of the bottles of alcohol that occupied the bar. Many shot glasses were brought in as well.
"So Duo, where did you find a wonderful pair of dice that just happen to correspond with the booze Relena has on board?" Milliardo questioned. He's just too damn logical for his own good.
"I'm going to make them." Duo responded.
"Out of what?" Milliardo asked again.
"You're hide if you don't quit asking me questions!" Duo was beginning to wonder how fast he could get Zechs drunk so he'd turn into a dumb blonde and stop asking so many questions.
Milliardo huffed while settling himself onto the couch. The room had somehow been rearranged by Heero and Treize while everyone else went after the liquor. They had decided it would be more comfortable for everyone if they each had somewhere to sit besides hard metal chairs or the marble floor. The room was set up so that the love seat and two huge chairs were positioned in front of the couch. There was a sneaking suspicion that Treize had given himself a hernia in the process. That or he had contracted Quatre's 'constipation' from the poker game. No one could tell for sure.
Duo had ran off to where ever he had found the poker chips previously. He returned with construction paper, a sharpie marker, and some scissors. The sight of scissors in Duo's hands caused the room to shudder in fear. There was much praying throughout the room that he would get rid of the dangerous tool before the game began. Scissors and alcohol do not make a good couple. Much like Relena and well.. anyone.
Once he cut up the paper and somehow formed them into very large, and oddly shaped, dice he chucked them at Milliardo's head.
"There! Now all we have to do is pick six different kinds of liquor and write them on the die. Then write six numbers on the other one." Duo sniffed the marker.
Everyone.. well.. stared.
"What?" Duo questioned with a look of innocence as he sniffed it again. Nonchalantly of course.
No one said a damn thing and went about their business getting comfortable in the new seating area. On the couch was Wufei, Heero, Duo, Noin, and Milliardo. On the love seat sat Trowa and Quatre. Treize took one of the over stuffed chairs while Relena took the other (1).
Zechs proceeded to pick out the six most vicious beverages he could find. He also proceeded to wonder why there was so much alcohol on his sisters yacht. She truly was a strange person. Wild Turkey, Vodka, Tequila, Bicardi, Whiskey, and an unlabeled bottle that smelled strangely like turpentine were his choices. Zechs figured the unlabeled bottle was Gin and made no further comment on the matter. He wrote down each type of booze on one die. He chucked the other one back at Duo to write down the numbers. It bounced off Duo's head before landing in his lap. There he picked it up and began to write on it. Unlike any normal person would, he didn't write the numbers one through six. Not like Duo was all that normal anyway. He wrote down a strange variety of numbers; Two, Four, Three, Six, Seven, and One. Trowa figured he must have sniffed the sharpie marker a little too long.
"All right. Each number represents how many shots of something you have to take." Duo's intelligence was suffering at this point. He normally was smart, but tonight he seemed to be swaying the other direction. Maybe Relena cooties were rubbing off on him. "Oh, and if you chicken out on a truth or a dare you HAVE to roll the dice an extra time."
"This is going to prove more interesting than I thought." Treize commented.
Treize was presently sitting with one leg over the arm of his chair while the other hung off the edge. He was quite provocative from Wufei's angel. If he had any blood left in his body Wufei would have had a bloody nose the size of Niagara falls by now. In an attempt to avert his eyes from Treize, he made the mistake of moving his gaze towards the love seat. There he saw Trowa practically sucking Quatre's face off. Sometimes he wished he would just randomly go blind. Especially when in the presence of his horny friends.
"Who's going first?" Noin asked. She had been tired and therefore silent most of the night, but she was now getting a second wind. Especially since Milliardo was still only in his boxers. The entire room looked like they had just taken part in some strange form of an orgy. Most intriguing.
"We'll start with Relena." Duo said with a nasty smile. That meant Relena had to participate in the game.
"Crap. Fine. Heero?" Of course she asked Heero first. Hell hadn't frozen over yet.
"Hn?" He responded. A tinge of fear crept up his spine as he looked to the woman staring intently at him from across the room. He swore Relena looked like an escaped mental patient when ever she eyed him.
Everyone stared at Relena with wide eyes.
"Truth or Dare?" She squeaked. She was hoping with all of her little self that he'd say dare.
All of their eyes simultaneously moved to eye Heero.
"Ah.. shit. Truth." He didn't even want to think what Relena would do to him if he said dare.
"You gotta roll twice now." Duo pointed out. Obviously Heero knew this since he was already reaching for the dice.
He rolled a 3 and Bicardi.
"Here goes nothing." Heero poured three shot glasses, since there were about twenty on the table anyway, and proceeded to drink. The warmth of the liquid down his throat made him almost groan with pleasure. It somehow reminded him of his favorite pastime with Duo. *ahem*
Everyone's eyes were back on Relena.
"You poop. All right, have you ever had sex with an inanimate object?" Relena asked in a matter of fact tone.
The entire room spazzed out momentarily. What the hell kind of question was THAT? She wasn't even drunk yet.
Zechs suddenly wished had no relation to this strange, strange little girl.
"Uh, no." Heero was hoping for a better question than the one she produced.
Before anyone could say anything, he grabbed for the dice. At this point he was hoping to get drunk quickly, just so Relena would fade away into the wonderful world of inebriation.
He rolled a 1 and 'unlabeled bottle'. His eyebrow rose as he poured the corrosive smelling alcohol into his glass.
"Eh, if this kills me Zechs, I'll haunt you." Heero murmured before downing the syrupy liquid. "Ah, god!"
Milliardo's eyes just about bugged out of his head as he watched Heero's face practically melt into itself. 'Yep, definitely Gin.'
All was well in the world of Zechsy land.
"Okay, my turn. Milliardo." He was going to exact his revenge for Zechs picking such an awful drink.
"Dare." Zechs was being brave in a strange way. He would rather take the dare then end up having a double chance of having to drink that awful Gin.
"I dare you to strip naked and sit on Noin's lap for the rest of the game." Heero was just as warped as Duo it seemed. What a perfect couple.
"Oh, crap." Milliardo could practically feel Noin's eyes light up as Heero spoke.
He didn't really feel like exposing himself to the world, but the thought of having to roll the dice twice scared the shit out of him. Needless to say Zechs was soon bare assed and perched on his lovers lap. Noin was in absolute Heaven.
"Duo." Milliardo sat precariously with one leg up to try and block the view of the people in front of him. He wasn't too worried about Treize, it was Quatre who scared him. The Arabian's eyes were like glass as he looked Milliardo up and down. What made it worse was that Trowa didn't seem to mind. He looked quite happy himself. 'Sometimes I wish I looked like Chewbacca... then no one would do this to me.'
"Dare." Duo was secretly scheming to stay sober so he could watch, and remember, all that would go on.
"I dare you to drink an entire glass of that unlabeled shit." Zechs could be down right mean when he wanted to be. "And I mean a normal wine glass, not a shot glass."
All right, he wasn't just down right mean. He was down right morbid.
Never the less Duo jumped up to grab a wine glass from the bar. When he returned he poured the liquid quickly. He slammed it down before he could smell it. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he began to cough. It felt like a brick had gotten lodged in between his ears. Always an interesting sensation.
"Gah! That shit shouldn't be called Gin. It should be called Brick in the Face!" Duo commented. No one seemed to understand the humor in his statement.
Much staring and uncomfortable silence ensued.
"OoOoOO, burny." Duo blinked a few times before rubbing his bare stomach. "Relena." He had always dreamed of getting Relena drunk. The day had just arrived.
"Truth." She always was a chicken. She didn't seem to understand that if she took Truth she was more than likely going to end up drunk quicker than the rest of the bunch. Logic seemed to not be a genetic trait in the Peacecraft family.
"Pussy." He wasn't exactly the nicest person in the world. "Have you ever had fantasies about other women?" He also seemed to be the biggest pervert in the group. Well, at least most obvious one.
"Yes.." Relena was turning a lovely shade of red as she eyed Noin. Noin just rose a brow and hoped to god she was only being looked at because she was the only other female in the room.
"Roll biatch." Duo slurred. The Gin was starting to go to his head already. He was beginning to think he should have focused more on the food on his plate than Heero in his hand at dinner. Food was the perfect counter weight for booze. Damn his hormones.
Even though Relena was somewhat insulted with the two lovely names Duo had used thus far with her, she rolled the dice with no comment.
The first roll yielded her a 6 and Tequila.
Everyone proceeded to chuckle as she chugged down six shot glasses. It was such an amazing sight to see Relena actually drink. Especially that much at once. Her face just about popped when she swallowed the last bit. Duo had a sneaking suspicion she might possibly be a light weight.
"Definitely burny!" She gasped as she went to roll again.
Her second roll yielded her a 1 and Wild Turkey. She knew that was Milliardo's favorite drink (2). She also knew it got him to be very friendly when he had a little too much. Hence the nakedness he experienced in Wufei's car.
Once again she slugged back the liquid poison. Her eyes were instantly glazed over. She was obviously a light weight.
If there ever was a company to make a drink that made you instantly drunk, Relena should have been their spokes woman.
"DING DONG THE WITCH IS..... DRUNK!!"
'Maybe light weight is an understatement?'
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K, much more of this lovely game and the other one are coming when I come back. Thought I should leave you with a little fun for the weekend ^_^
Clockwise from couch: Wufei, Heero, Duo, Noin, Milliardo, Relena, Treize, Quatre and Trowa. This is becoming a trend for me lol You know that absolutely gorgeous pic of Zechs with no shirt on and a bottle of Wild Turkey next to him? That's what I'm referring too. ::Dies of massive blood loss to the brain:: Sucks when anime characters are sexier than most real life guys.