Every thing as read in chapter 1

In the Brady Bunches room

"Mel you're on look out to check they don't come in." I looked around at the team minus Kat "Jubes have you got the glue?" I asked she nodded "Good! Let's go team!"

I grabbed the toilet roll and soaked it under the tap "This should stop it from draining!" I said triumphantly stuffing the tissue down and around the shower plug before turning the shower on.

Jubes then began liberally sealing the shower door with extra strong glue.

I sat down on the bathroom floor "Now it's just a case of waiting!" I said sitting on the floor and reaching for the bottle of Baileys

"Ew!!" I squealed shaking my hand before running it under boiling water "Is that a used condom?!!"

An hour later

"I've got them!" Kat announced triumphantly entering the Summers shower room carrying a bucket which I peered into.

"Perfect!" I said before breaking into demonic laughter at my evil genius

"Can we get on with it?" Ev asked impatiently.

"Okay okay, hoist me up" Which Ev and Jubes promptly did "Kat pass me a fish!"

"Ooppsie dropped it!"

"HURRY UP"

I dumped the fish into the halfway full shower cubicle, then added some pond weed, other assorted fish and a lobster.

"Do you think the water will ever drain away?"

"The tissues will disintigrate eventually" I said with more confidence then I felt before swigging from my bottle of Bailey's

We then put up a sign reading 'The Summers water museum suitable for family vacations!'

"Ohh what's this?"

"Kat that's a condom?"

"A what…oh EW!" She said flinging the condom into the shower whose water levels were rising rapidly.

Ev hastily added a not to the sign where it proclaimed suitable for family vacations.

"Lets get outta here!" Jubes screamed doing a superman pose.

"Just one thing before we go! Jubes lift the toilet seat up!" I instructed grabbing the clingfilm off of Kat and covering the toilet hole with it before putting the seat down on top of it.

"They'll never notice!" I said running from the room.

The outside parking bays

"Ohhh look there's Wolvie's Jeep!" Jubilee proclaimed looking at the freshly washed vehicle

Kat was playing in the background with the wild bird by taunting them with bird seed.

"I'm up for a bit of fun but to play with that's a death wish" Mel pointed out almost (I repeat almost) soberly.

"I agree with Mel on this one" I said god I didn't want him chasing me on my first evening back at the mansion

"Arrghhh their attacking me!!" Kat said screaming as the wild birds of the district began pecking her head furiously. I would have laughed had she not been running towards us bringing the rabid birds with her.

"Throw some seed!" Mel shouted "THROW THE BLOODY SEED!"

"Arrrggghh…." Kat screamed heading towards us.

Evelyn grabbed the box of bird seed and threw it around; unfortunately she threw it all over Wolverine jeep causing the birds to settle down peeking at the seed on his prized vehicle.

"Don't stare RUN!!" Jubes screamed and hell, who was I to argue.

In the garage

"Are you going out Mr. Summers?" Kat asked wrench in hand

"I'm considering the option of going for some more whipped cr….er supplies!" Scott answered in his best goody 3 shoes voice

"Well the bad news is that I couldn't fix your breaks… however…" She continued hastily seeing his shocked expression "…I did make your horn louder so it is pretty safe to drive now"

"My brakes weren't broken" Scott said casting a disturbed look at his beloved Mazda

"Oh well they are now" Kat began whistling as she exited the garage "Well have a nice drive"

In the kitchen

"Quick turn the light off" I whispered before throwing pots and pans on the fall

"HELP! HELP! I'VE FALLEN AND CAN'T GET UP!" Jubes cried

It wasn't long before we heard Wolverine run through the living room and it wasn't long after that when he bounced off the cling film covering the kitchen door, it didn't take Mel long to take the photo of Wolverine bouncing off of the fore mentioned cling film, however it took an even shorter time for Wolverine to slice a hole through the cling film with his claws.

"We always forget about the claws!" Ev said bashing her head with her hand before we all ran like headless chickens out of the door.

Unfortunately our escape took us past the outside parking bays and Wolverines jeep which was now cover in bird shit and the rabid birds.

"Oh my god Wolvie your cars being attacked by wild hummingbirds!" Jubilee said quickly averting all blame from ourselves.

However he didn't seem fooled he must have smelt us on his jeep because he began to run after us…needless to say we ran!

Hiding outside Scott's classroom window.

"I think we've lost him!"

"Oh looky Jeans teaching in Scott's classroom!!" Kat said in a voice filled with wonderment

"And what's your point?" I asked

Kat shrugged Ev and Jube's looked decidedly shifty however.

"Oh look their getting out Scott's handout folder!" Kat said nose pressed against glass

"Oh no!" Ev and Jubes screamed in unison.

We all peered in the window as Jean picked up Scott's folder and little snippets of paper like those cut from a magazine fell to the floor. Jean then began yelling as the class burst out laughing. Soon after a blushing Scott walked in and it appeared as if he was protesting about something but Jean wouldn't listen. I pointed to the window indicating to the kid closest to it to open it so we could hear better

"What's going on?" I whispered

"Mrs Summers-Grey has just found Mr Summers porn stash!" The kid whispered back

"Gulp"

"Ev, Jubes what's wrong?"

"Um in a moment of madness while you was away we…er…" Evelyn began paling

"What she trying to say is we cut up Wolvies porn mags and hid the picture in various locations around Scott's classroom!" Jubes said

I looked at them proudly "That's my girls!"

"What?! You aren't mad?" Mel said surprised

"Of course not, welcome back to the dark side gals!"  I smiled

"Scott I can not believe you would do this…."

"But Jean…."

Do not but Jean me mister I hide my porn in my classroom…"

"But it isn't mine…"

"Don't give me that… I can read your thought's and I know what you think about almost all the time…. The only small mercy is it isn't gay porn…"  Jean was really mad her pretty face scrunched up making it look like a bag of smashed arseholes…or at least how I would imagine one to look.

At that moment Wolverine burst through the classroom door

"Has anyone seen Retribution X!" His voice bellowed over Jean and Scott before stooping down to pick up the tattered remains of his prized porn "What the hell's this doin' here bub?" He asked Scott menacingly

"That's exactly what I want to know!" Jean said hand on hip

"These were my bloody magazines you little shit!!" Wolverine spat at Scott

"But I didn't put them there" Came Scotts small voice, hell I almost felt sorry for the lil' fellow…emphasis on almost.

"So who did do it then?" He shot back angrily

"I know, I know!!" Kat said hands raised in the air as she stood looking in the now open window

"Kat shut up!" I hissed

"So who was it then kid? Malta?" He growled at her

"See Scott it so easy even Kat knows the answer!" Jean said triumphantly "YOU!"

"No it wasn't it was Ev and Jubes the day they nearly burnt the cupboard down!!" Kat helpfully provided

"RUN!!" I hissed to the others as Wolverine lunged at the window

In Hank's Lab

"Isn't it a bit early for you to have been drinking?" Hank asked

"No!?"

"Oh okay you can hide here until it gets dark then you must again venture into the outside world"

"Thanks Hank!" I said pulling the 4 bottles of various alcoholic beverages out of my trousers handing them round the group. You don't know how good it felt to have my trousers to myself again!!

"So what do we do now that Kat is in leagues with the devil?" Mel asked (Kat was now indeed in a strange twist of fate in the clutches of them she feared the most: The good guys!!)

"What d'ya think?" I asked but they looked at me blankly. "Pay back time!!" I rubbed my hands together savouring the evil genius of my plan.

Under the cover of darkness

"Did you get hold of Pyro?" I asked Jubes from our leafy hideout (it was the tree with the hover chair in it).

"Yep"

"Good!" I laughed manically until I nearly fell off of my branch

"Arrrgghhh! It's a ghost!!" Jubes screamed as a figure of light approached us

"No Jube's that's just Gambit!" Mel soothed the twitching Jubes "Remember the night of the Care Bears!"

At the mention of that evening both Jubes and Ev began twitching so violently that we all got thrown from the tree. Oh we were so scary!

"So what do we do with her now?" Jean asked me

"Sit her in a corner and hope for the best" I replied

"I can flyyyy!" Kat screamed jumping off of a footstool.

Okay so having a member of the opposite team informing for you was a great idea but in practice….well when you're newly found informant was Kat…things were let's say interesting!

I followed Jean to her and Cyclop's bedroom were she was going to apologise to him for her earlier outburst at him.

"Can I use your bog?" I asked watching Jean twitch at my crudity.

I walked in the bathroom, I knew that they'd been there I could smell 'em as soon as I walked into the room. The need for revenge was full with in me. I looked at the fish tank shower. Hell, who needed revenge I thought as a grin spread across my face.

We saw our target walk along the hallway close to Wolverines heels. We saw her jump from the footstool and that is when our plan of action took place.

We threw the microphone on the floor at Kat's feet, as planned it caught her attention. We pulled it forward every time she bent down to pick it up, and every time we did so she followed.

She followed blindly through the shallow part of the lake, the danger room (which was on) and even through the room were Remy was watching German porn (he was still glowing) for over an hour, before we got tired and led her to the room where Pyro was waiting with a silver lighter held in his left hand.

"Hello Kat!" Pyro grinned menacingly

"Where's Gloria Gaynor?" Kat asked head spinning this way and that

Oh revenge was certainly sweet!