DISCLAIMER: Do I own any of these splendid characters and eyecatching locations? Nahhhh.
Chapter 8: Don't turn away
Oh god oh god oh god oh god. I KNOW I didn't just do that.
She barely waited for the sound of the front door slamming shut as the last of the children exited the house before sinking to the floor with her back to the door and her head in her hands.
She breathed in deeply, once twice trying to calm herself.
What on earth possessed me to do that?
You like him, a voice in her head answered slyly. It was the truth too, now that she'd brought herself to admit it. She really liked him. And it definitely took two to tango, so he'd felt something aswell.
But this is wrong!
Why? The voice in her head argued back. Cloud's gone and you've accepted it. It's time to move on,so why not with Sephiroth?
Because.. because he killed Aeris, he killed my father. She struggled to come up with an adequate reason.
Is that the best you can do? You KNOW who caused that. Come on. Admit it, you're scared of letting anyone get close. Afraid that you'll get the metaphorical knife shoved through your heart again. If you're going to live in fear for the rest of your life you can at least be honest with yourself about it.
She shook her head violently, trying to clear the conflicting thoughts from her head. The voice was right of course. She'd made a promise to herself not to let Cloud run her life, but now, instead she was letting the fear of getting her heart broken again do it for him. And that definitely was not preferable. And Sephiroth... What am I going to say to him? What can I say? She cringed at the thought of it.
The door behind her suddenly opened, and she found herself on her back staring up at the object of her thoughts. He looked down at her for a moment before stepping over her and continuing out of the kitchen in silence. She stared after him, hurt and confused. Ok so she'd been worrying about what to say to him, but she at least would have said SOMETHING. Not treated him like he wasn't there. She got to her feet and followed him out into the hall. She could hear him moving upstairs and she ran up after him.
Pushing open the door to her room she froze at the sight of him pulling on his boots, with his cloak already around his shoulders. He glanced at her briefly before finishing lacing up his boots. That done he stood up,hat in hand.
"I'll be taking my leave of you now, Ms. Lockhart." She felt like she'd been slapped, Ms. Lockhart. Wordlessly, she stood aside as he strode from the room. Immobilized she stood there. Ms. Lockhart. That had really stung. It said it all, he was pushing her away. Leaving her. What are you doing? you IDIOT? You're going to stand here and let this happen? again? The voice broke through her trance, forcing her into action. Sprinting from the room she leapt down the stairs, taking them two at a time.
"Sephiroth!Wait!" he continued on, like he hadn't heard her, pulling open the door. In desperation she grabbed his arm, turning him to face her. He stared at her expressionlessly. She swallowed, stepping back.
"Where.. where are you going?" He stayed silent for so long she thought he wasn't going to answer.
"To the mansion." he said flatly.
"You're going to hide there forever?!"
"No. Not that it's any of your business. I need to learn more and I have pretty much exhausted all of the Mansion's resources."
"So where? To see your mother?" He looked at her sharply.
"What do you know of... No. Nevermind. I was planning on going to Cosmo Canyon. And from there, to the City of the Ancients."
"Yeah. I can just imagine what Nanaki and Cloud are going to do when they see YOU."
"I will manage." He reached for the door again. She pulled it shut.
"Like hell you will. They'll attack you on sight and you know it. And what of Lucrecia? Do you even know where she is? Don't you want to talk to her? Let me come with you. I know where she is, and maybe I can make things a little easier for you if you're so set on going where other AVALANCHE members are."
"I do not think so."
She stamped her foot in fury. "I don't CARE what you think. I'm not going to stay here while you go and either be killed by or kill some of my dearest friends all because you're too stubborn to take me along. Is this what you want? More blood spilled?" He turned on her, green eyes blazing.
"NO!!You think I don't spend every moment of my days thinking about what I have done? How many people I have killed? I can see them all, inside my head. I am stained so deeply with blood that I will NEVER be clean. And that is the way it should be. If I have to live then I will spend my life never letting myself forget what I have caused." He continued on quietly, regaining control of himself. "It's the way it should be. It's all I can do."
"Then let me come with you, please. You think they'll believe you if you show up and say you've changed? They won't. It'll lead to a battle when it could be avoided. And I'd end up having to bury either you, Cloud or Nanaki. I couldn't bear losing anyone else close to me. Any more friends." She pleaded with him as she blinked back the tears that had risen in her eyes at the thought of it.
He stared at her incredulously. "A friend? ... You consider me a friend?" She nodded, a lump in her throat as his expression softened. Inside Sephiroth fought with himself, he wanted her to come, but for a second she'd made him forget. Forget what he'd done. He didn't deserve the peace that came with forgetting and acceptance. But on the other hand...
"You said you knew where my mother is?"
"Yes. And... Vincent. You need to find him too. You're more like him then you could know."
He hesitated for a second longer.
"Take me to them. Please."
~
Tifa shut the door with a sigh resting her head against the door frame for a moment before heading upstairs to pack a few essentials. Quickly she changed out of her uniform into her old black leather skirt and a garnet coloured sleeveless top. She threw a black halter top and a pair of jeans into a small rucksack along with a handful of potions ,money and a PHS. She equipped her woman's armlet and slid her hands securely into her Premium Heart. She flexed her fingers experimentally before turning her attention to what materia she should bring. Picking out her mastered Comet ,Cure, Life, Enemy Skill, Ice and Odin she slid them into their respective slots. This done she donned a short leather jacket and tied her hair back with a Ribbon.
Without a backward glance she walked out of the house, pausing only to pick up her set of keys.
~
Sephiroth paced restlessly around the entrance hall to the mansion. He'd come back here to gather his stuff and change out of that ridiculous looking hat and cloak while waiting for Tifa. She'd said she'd meet him back here in an hour as she had some things to take care of before she left.
He'd thought briefly about just leaving without her, but he didn't know where to find Lucrecia or Vincent and she'd had the foresight not to tell him. For better or worse she was coming with him. Stubborn Woman.
He couldn't say he wasn't glad of her presence though, looking forward to spending this journey with her.No no no... This was why he hadn't wanted her to come in the first place. He didn't trust himself around her. Instead of reliving what he'd done, whenever he closed his eyes he saw her staring down at him, remembering the feel of her in his arms. If only those damn kids hadn't been there. There I go again... Stop kidding yourself Sephiroth! This will never happen. You don't DESERVE this.
His thoughts were broken by the sound of the main door opening.
"You ready to go?" Tifa couldn't help as her eyes widened at the sight of him, he was wearing his old General outfit with a long,black leather trench coat over it. It was far too reminiscent of the old Sephiroth for her liking but she had to admit,it suited him.
"Yes" he shouldered a rucksack similar to her own and joined her at the door and together they set off for the mountains.
They walked in silence, Tifa taking the lead as they reached the path at the bottom of the mountains."I'm assuming you want to see Lucrecia first?"
"That would be my immediate priority,yes."
"Alright but it's going to be a hard climb, normally we'd make it on a chocobo but mine's being taken care of at the chocobo farm at the moment."
"That is fine."
He followed her up the path, lost in his own thoughts and as a result he stumbled into her when she stopped abruptly. She was frowning and looking around her.
"What is it?"
"We need to turn right somewhere around here or else we'll end up in Rocket."
"Do you even have any idea of where you're going?" he said, getting impatient. She turned and looked at him.
"I'll find it. Don't worry, and if you have nothing helpful to say then maybe you should just keep quiet."
"Given the option I'd prefer not to speak. I wouldn't need to talk to myself. But your presence is not giving me that option."
She fixed him with an icy look before marching off, her eyes searching for a hidden path. Inwardly he winced. In truth he'd meant to hurt her feelings, but meaning to didn't prepare him for feeling so horrible about doing it. No. It's better this way, if she has to come then it's best if she doesn't get close again.
She'd disappeared off the path and was now wandering North West through the undergrowth, once again completely confident in her surroundings. He followed, paying attention for stray rocks and roots that would delight in tripping him. This area was completely foreign to him and it came as no surprise when he found himself outside a cave that he'd never seen before.
She was waiting for him at the entrance, an icy look still adorning her features. "We go through here, it'll bring us out near the waterfall. It's completely enclosed by mountains and it'll be hard enough to climb in the daytime let alone in pitch dark so we should find somewhere to spend the night before trying it."
"Whatever you think is best." He loosened his sword in its sheath.
"The last time I came through a cave with you it wasn't exactly a danger free trip" he said in answer to her questioning look.
"Whatever." She stalked into the cave, still angry at how he apparently found her presence unbearable.
Her head brushed the ceiling as she found herself in a steep passage barely 3 feet across. She fought to breathe normally as her breath started coming in short gasps. She wasn't a fan of enclosed spaces. Trying to shake off the feeling that the walls were closing in on her she pressed on, her eyes straining to see in the dim light.
Just when she thought she could take no more the passage opened up into a rocky cavern that seemed to stretch on forever. In the distance she could hear the faint sound of water splashing against stone. Behind her Sephiroth stretched, relieved to be able to stand up straight after having to stoop for so long.
"Where is the exit?" She gestured vaguely to the far end of the cavern and started to walk in that direction.
He kept his distance behind her, alert for any signs of danger, finding the apparent emptiness of the cavern disquieting. The sound of running water got steadily louder until after an hour of walking they came across an underground river cutting right across their path. It was deep ,too deep to wade across and far too wide to jump. A violent current sent the water crashing and churning against the bank.
"We appear to have a problem."
"No... We can cross it. Wait here and I'll show you, then you come across after me." He was really getting tired of being ordered around but what could he do? He didn't know the way.
"Come on!The crossing is a little upriver from here." She walked right, parallel to the river until they came to a place where a scattering of rocks jutted up from the riverbed.
"Watch what I do and where I jump, some of these rocks aren't stable." She leapt onto the first one without incident and tried for the second,not noticing the thin covering of moss until her foot slipped, her arms flailing as she struggled to regain her balance.
"Right, so I follow your wonderful example and jump, do a fairly good impression of a windmill as I tempt fate into sending me careening into a particularly wild and dangerous river and thus causing me to drown. Ok, I think I've got it." he said dryly.
She pulled a handful of moss off the rock and hurled it in his direction as a response. He dodged it easily, laughing as he did so. She turned away in mock annoyance, her real anger forgotten as she leapt nimbly from rock to rock, making it to the other side of the river without any further accident.
She set off again, leaving him to navigate the rocks on his own. He'll catch up soon enough anyway.
Beneath her the ground shook making her lose her balance and sending her to the cavern floor. She screamed involuntarily ,more out of surprise then terror as one of the green dragons that had made the caves it's home appeared from a rocky enclave. It ran at her, sending tremors through the ground with each step, making standing up impossible.
Sephiroth watched in horror from the other side of the river as it bore down on her, bellowing flames at where she lay on the ground. He breathed a sigh of relief as she rolled to the side ,just avoiding the scorching flames,managing to get to her feet.
"Tifa!Hold on!I'm coming!" She turned to the sound of his voice, momentarily distracted as the dragon,taking advantage of her lapse in concentration, swung it's tail around, smashing into her and knocking her flying.
Shit shit shit. He mentally cursed, his body already moving into action. He took two steps back before running at the bank and launching himself into the air, unsheathing his sword as he somersaulted gracefully over the river. He landed lightly on the other side and took off in the direction of the dragon. It was too busy rearing over Tifa to notice him attacking from the rear.
Tifa lay on the ground, totally winded .Where the hell was Sephiroth? she thought frantically as she tried to force her body to move as the dragon roared above her. A flash of silver caught her eye as Sephiroth leapt into the air behind it, his sword striking again and again, his eyes alight with green fire.
The dragon howled with pain as it turned to face this new attacker. Crimson blood ran from various gashes that the Masamune had opened as it cut through it's scaly hide.
It swiped a claw at Sephiroth in vain as he rolled under it and came up within striking distance of it's vulnerable underbelly. Taking advantage of this he spun, impaling the creature with his sword, angling upward,desperately searching for it's heart. It threw back it's head and howled in agony,it's claws coming up and knocking him away,his masamune still lodged in the creature's soft belly. He pushed himself to his feet,barely fazed by it's attack. He'd stepped forward,getting ready to try and retrieve his sword when the cavern rapidly descented into darkness. Somewhere in front of him he heard a voice shout "Shadow flare!" as the dragon was outlined by a flash of white light. He blinked as spots crowded his vision at the sudden change in extremities. When they faded he saw the dragon collapsed on it's back,apparently dead.
He walked over to it warily tensed in case it wasn't as dead as it seemed. He bent over it and pulled out his sword smoothly before inspecting the blade. Covered in blood. That would have to be taken care of. But first... He strode over to where Tifa was standing.
"What do you think you are doing?! Why didn't you wait for me?! You almost got yourself killed. If I was not here you would have been!!"
She hated that he'd insinuate she was helpless. Again. Fury shone in her eyes as mako shone in his."If you weren't here then I'D have no need to be here! Twice you've saved my life, granted, but it wouldn't have needed saving if you hadn't come back."
Her accusatory tone made him falter. If you hadn't come back...
"I did not want or ask for you to come knocking at my door. I did not want nor ask for you to accompany me,you forced me into it and... I didn't want or ask to come back here."
As quickly as it came her anger drained away. She was already tired of this argument. "We don't ask for alot of things Sephiroth, but they have a habit of happening anyway...and they do for a reason. You're here for a reason. You just need to find out what it is."
Slowly she reached up,brushing a stray lock of silver hair back from his face. He watched her guardedly,the look in his eyes reminding her of an abused animal, expecting violence with every touch.
"Let me help you find out what it is." she breathed, raising up on her tip toes, kissing him softly ,her arms encircling his neck as if it were the most natural thing in the world. His arms hung stiffly by his sides before he reached up gently and pushed her away. Not wanting to see the hurt in her eyes that mirrored the pain in his he walked slowly away from her and sat down on the ground, his back turned. Reaching into his pack he pulled out a piece of cloth.
"Sephiroth please! Don't turn away from me." Her fists clenched as her throat tightened. "Please..." she whispered.
Taking the cloth in one hand and laying his sword flat on the ground with the other he started to clean the blood off the blade.
Author's note: Oh man I think I depressed me there! Thank you Radiohead for making me COMPLETELY change the end of this chapter. So in theory I won't start the next chapter until at least Tuesday as I have to sttuudddyyy. In theory. I'll see you all around saturday or sunday with the next chapter.
Thanks to everyone for reviewing! Ah you don't know how much it makes me smile! =) --see? Now, I'm off to the "misfits" and you all know what you have to do !revviiewwwwww!
