(AN)-- Look at all the pretty reviews! *eyes gleam* You guys are wonderful people! Hehe. Anyway, contrary to what a reviewer said about Reno/Tifa – uh, no. Not that it's an offense to support that pairing, but I choose Reno/Yuffie any day. Oh yeah, and two things: one, Nanaki is h-u-m-a-n. Two, this chapter is full of sexual innuendoes.
`p a n d o r a
s c h o o l b l u e s
ii. word of mouth
Elena Liselle, president of the school newspaper, leaned against the black-painted lockers and listened carefully to the bustling students around her. As head of the newspaper committee, it was mandatory that she caught up on all the juicy gossip that spread around the school like wildfire. Her reputation depended on it. If anything, she was first to know about everything.
She tucked back a blonde lock of hair behind her ear and sighed. There was nothing good to hear. Everything was the same for the students walking into the school. They met a boy or a girl and they got hooked up. Someone had lost his or her virginity. What happened to succulence? She shook her head in pure disappointment. Everyone certainly had lost his or her touch on scandal. Darn it all! She put away the mini notepad in her hand into her school bag and grumbled. Her day wasn't off to a good start.
"Hey! Did you hear?"
Her ears perked. Anything that ended with a 'did you hear' question usually had something good to come out of it. Yet, so far nothing had.
"Did I hear what?" Elena asked.
The redhead grinned. "Did I hear what I just heard? Elena doesn't know!"
"Oh shut up, Jessie! Tell me already."
Jessie grinned. "Guess whose going out with my cousin."
"Uh…a stripper?"
Reno Talon was most known for his playful schemes on different women, young or old, just as long as it wasn't considered illicit to them or to him. Then again, his reputation preceded him so just as long as he received a good scandal out of it, nothing much mattered.
Jessie shook her head vigorously.
"Tifa Lockheart!" She exclaimed wildly.
Elena felt her mouth drop ten feet. Did she hear what she just heard? Tifa Lockheart, the darling, was going out with Reno Talon, the womanizer on the school campus?
"Are you sure about this? I mean, knowing your cousin and all, he isn't capable of holding a stable relationship even if a damn chocobo sat on him."
Jessie shrugged. "Who knows for sure. All I know is, that it's the word-of-mouth and it's usually pretty trustworthy."
Elena sighed.
"Somehow, I have a hard time believing that. I think I'm better off hearing it from his own mouth."
"Are you saying that you're not into gossip anymore?" Jessie incredulously inquired.
"No, no! That part of me is rock solid. To believe that Reno actually has a girlfriend…it's impossible. Well, unless he's had a relationship before, but I hardly doubt it."
"Are you saying that my cousin is incapable of keeping a relationship?"
"Basically?"
She laughed. "Well, we, or rather you should go find out for yourself, huh? You do want your news down pat, don't you? You wouldn't want to give false information."
"That's the whole point of the rumor column, Jess." Elena pointed out.
The redhead shrugged. "I don't know. It's a new year, Elena, and things like these do come with repercussions. And the rumors are exaggerated tenfold when it comes to seniors."
"True."
"Anyway, I'll be going. I still need to find Professor Jojo's laboratory."
"Hojo." She corrected.
"Hehe, whatever."
*
Reno peered over her shoulder and scanned her schedule quickly before comparing his with hers.
"Interesting." He said, stroking his chin.
She looked over at him. "What?"
"Ah, nothing." Reno crumpled the piece of paper and jammed it into his pocket. Tifa stared blandly. "Yeah?"
"Did you memorize your schedule already?"
"No. If you don't recall, I don't attend most of my classes – just the ones I find appealing."
"For instance?" She urged.
"Summon class. Studying all those monsters, especially that Shiva. Hell Fire, if that woman was real I'd do her in a second."
"Technically," she began matter-of-factly, "that's bestiality."
"Your point being? If she's screw-able, then sure, I'd go for it."
"That's just like you, Reno. It wouldn't surprise me if you went at it for three hours in a row." She shook her head.
"See, that's the incredible thing about sex, sweetheart. If you stop at a couple of days' intervals, you store up enough energy to go at it for more than three hours." He said. "And that's a fact."
Tifa arched a brow. "Are you aware that that's physically impossible?"
"No. It has a lot of good points to it; it's like exercise. You flex your muscles, you burn calories, and there's so many positions to go through that you just enjoy it."
"I see you've mastered the art of sex."
"Of course. Where would we be without it?"
"Good point."
*
"Summons, materia, Wutainian, Lifestream, Cetra Planet, Weaponry." Yuffie made a face. "Are these my classes? I'm not sure if I chose all of these, Nanaki."
"Cetra Planet is a mandatory class. As for your language class – it was either Wutainian or Midgarian." He replied as he looked over her schedule. "Other than that, you're fine."
"Why'd they put me in Wutainian class when I perfectly understand the language? I'd rather choose something I don't know."
Nanaki shrugged. "Maybe they needed a fluent student to help with the others who don't know it?"
"Hey Nanaki!" A voice called out to him from the opposite direction.
Yuffie and Nanaki looked up to see a girl shoving her way through the moving students. When she reached them, she mumbled a number of expletives before giving them a shaky grin. Yuffie observed her beauty from beneath her bangs, already feeling uncomfortable. The girl in front of them was of medium height and her heart-shaped face was flawless, green eyes glowing. Silk coffee strands framed her face in small braids.
Yuffie sighed and nibbled her bottom lip nervously. Why on earth couldn't she be as pretty as her or any other girl in the school for that matter? Every one else's exotic looks made her look plain. Sure, her friend had reassured her that she looked fine so why wasn't she content with his comforting words?
"Hi Aeris." He greeted. "This is Yuffie. Yuffie, Aeris."
The girl known as Aeris smiled sweetly. "Hey there."
"Hi," mumbled Yuffie.
Aeris giggled. "Well, Aki, I see you're quite adamant in picking up girls these days."
"Aeris!" He exploded. "I am certainly not like that."
"Of course not. But the girls seem to adore you this year." She directed her head behind her. Nanaki peeked over and furrowed his brows as a couple of third-years laugh melodically and skip away.
"They're…uh…not my type." He stammered and blushed before looking away.
"I was kidding you."
Aeris gave him a quick hug before sauntering away. "I'll see you around?"
"Sure."
He turned back to Yuffie. "Uh…ignore her. She's just like that. Incessantly playful, like you almost."
Yuffie nodded silently.
"You should get going. You wouldn't want to be late to your first class."
"Okay."
Finally, the two drifted away in two different directions.
*
"So tell me, how did the subject of having sex with anybody and everybody come up?" Tifa wondered aloud after some time.
She had to admit that their discussion of what started off as school took a greater turn to the odd. Perhaps if Reno hadn't decided to comment on his sexual abilities, they wouldn't have switched the topic to his sexual life. Of course, his life in bed was more than amusing and it was hard not to listen to him. But there comes a point where entertaining becomes rather nauseating, especially when coming from the man's perspective. Sure, it was all casual talk, but he made it sound so enticing that she was afraid she would jump him.
Maybe he wasn't her type, but there comes another time when the inevitable strikes you and you just have to get your hands on something or someone before you lose all sanity and do something you might regret.
Maybe Reno Talon did have more influence on her than she thought.
Tifa quivered in disgust as she blanched the thought of actually getting into bed with the most lazy and crude man on the planet. It was hard enough being his friend, which came with many consequences. For instance, listening to him rant on and on about how many positions a human male can find arousing and stimulating…
"Hey sweetheart! Wake up!"
She blinked.
Damn.
"Daydreaming on your way to class…" he chastised carefully. "It could only mean one thing."
"And what could it possibly mean?"
"You were dreaming about m-e. I'm irresistible; it can't be helped."
"What parallel universe are you in?"
"Apparently yours." He winked.
"Up yours, Reno Talon."
"I'm afraid it's the other way around, sweetheart."
"Ugh, you're sick."
