The Tremors of a Toddler
Logan had made it a point to stay out of the mansion all day. He grinned every time he felt a tremor run through the mansion and an exasperated shout from Kitty usually followed. Then he decided to go get a drink of beer. He went into the kitchen and towards the refrigerator. "Hey! Where's my beer?" He growled.
"Little Avalanche's idea," Kurt told him as he munched on a strange looking foodstuff. "He said that alcohol was bad and poured all of it down the drain."
"HE WHAT?" Logan snarled.
"He does have a point," Kurt said.
"Kitty just let him do that?" Logan snapped.
"She helped him," Kurt told him. "Hey want a bite? It's my latest creation; a marshmallow and candy topped hot dog with pizza sauce. It's pretty good. Want some?"
"No…thank you," Logan had a strong stomach but even this made him feel queasy. He walked out of the kitchen. "So you wanna play hard ball huh Half Pint? Fine with….WHAT THE….?"
There was his bike. His precious bike was in the pool. And Little Lance was splashing water on it (The shallow end of course). "Hello!" He waved happily.
"KITTY!" Logan shouted.
"Uh Mr. Logan," Kitty gulped as she ran up. "He got away from me for just a second when…"
"MY BIKE!" Logan's jaw dropped.
"I made it all clean," Little Lance was completely wet. "I'm helping!"
"GET HIM OUT OF HERE!" Logan howled.
"I'm not even gonna ask how you got it in there," Kitty dragged the boy away. "Come on. Let's get you dried off."
"My bike…" Logan looked like he was going to cry. "My poor bike…"
"Come on now, let's get you dried off," Kitty sighed as she took him away from Logan before he cut him up into tiny pieces. "We gotta find a towel and some clean clothes for you."
They went inside and she gave him a towel. She started to rub him dry. "Now why don't you wait right here while I go find some clean clothes for you?" Kitty told him.
"Okay Kitty," Little Lance smiled. When she left he looked outside and saw Kurt, Scott and Peter playing football outside. He grinned when he had an evil idea. He went outside. He purposely grabbed some dirt and caked himself with it. Then he ran and used his powers to knock the boys down. Then he grabbed the football they had dropped and ran off.
"GET HIM!" Peter shouted. They chased him around. Little Lance threw the ball away and they still chased him. Peter managed to catch him and grabbed him by the scruff of his back. "Okay you little…" Peter growled.
"PUT HIM DOWN!" Kitty stormed out.
"But…" Peter said.
"Put him down! Now!" Kitty snapped. "What did you do to him?"
"THEY WERE MEAN TO ME! WAAHHHHHH!" Little Lance sobbed.
"You jerks!" Kitty snapped.
"But…but…"Scott gulped.
"How could you pick on a little kid like that?" Kitty snapped.
"All I wanted was to play with them," Little Lance sniffed. "But they called me names and threw me in the mud and chased me around…"
"Oh you're not gonna buy that are you?" Scott asked.
"He's lying!" Kurt said. "He attacked us!"
"Sure Kurt a five year old attacked you," Kitty said sarcastically. She looked Little Lance over. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine Kitty," Little Lance grinned.
"But you're covered in mud! You need a bath," Kitty grumbled.
"Okay," Little Lance nodded. "You can give me one."
"Oh no," Kitty backed off. "I can't give you a bath!"
"Why?" Little Lance asked.
"Well because, because you're a boy and…Oh boy," Kitty groaned. She looked around. "Guys…"
"Oh look at the time! I need to work on some homework now!" Kurt made a show of looking at his watch and teleporting out.
"Don't look at me," Scott said.
"Peter," Kitty asked.
"No way!" Peter backed off.
"But I really need your help!" Kitty whined. "Please? For me?"
"Kitty I love you but there are things even I won't do," Peter told her. "No way, no how am I giving him a bath!"
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"I can't believe I am doing this," Peter grumbled.
"This isn't exactly a perfect situation for me either," Little Lance frowned as he sat in the tub.
"Hold still," Peter grumbled as he scrubbed the boy.
"You're doing it too hard!" Little Lance whined.
"I can do it a lot harder if you don't stop splashing around!" Peter snapped. Little Lance then splashed some water in his face. "That's it! You're going down!"
"Try and make me!" Little Lance growled.
The next thing everyone in the mansion knew there was another rumbling sound. The door to the bathroom burst open and a huge spill of water burst out. Little Lance ran out completely naked. "Can't catch me slowpoke!" He laughed.
"COME BACK HERE AND PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!" Peter shouted as he chased him through the halls.
"Oh boy," Rogue blanched as the small boy streaked by her. "Now there's a question I wish went unanswered."
"What?" Tabitha asked. "What Rocky looks like naked? I already knew that."
"I'm not even gonna ask," Rogue groaned.
Meanwhile Hank had just walked out of his laboratory. "I can't believe I spent the entire day in the lab," He sighed. "I never wanted to be one of those people who stayed indoors all the time. Well now I am going to go out and see what's going on in the world."
"CAN'T CATCH ME SLOWPOKE!" Little Lance streaked
"I think I'll go back inside now for a few weeks," Hank turned and started to reenter the lab.
"Get back out here Hank!" Logan stormed up to him. "If I have to put up with this so do you!"
"Dare I ask what is going on?" Hank winced as the sound of something breaking rang through the hallway.
"Not really but I'm gonna tell you anyway," Logan sighed.
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"Well he's finally asleep," Kitty trudged in the kitchen later that night. "It took two stories and a lullaby but I finally managed to put him down for the night."
"I'd love to put him down," Peter grumbled. "Permanently."
"You know you guys could be a lot less like jerks you know!" Kitty fumed.
"Kitty's right," Jean said. "Even if he is a clone of Lance he's still just a little boy."
"You can't tell me you're siding with that little lunatic!" Scott yelled.
"He's just a child!" Jean snapped. "Look at it this way, it's kind of like a second chance for Avalanche. Maybe all he needs is a loving family."
"No what he needs is a kick in the pants," Peter grumbled.
"Kitty's right," Jean said. "You guys are jerks!"
"I'm going to bed," Kitty yawned. "I had no idea that looking after a little mutant could be so exhausting."
"Not to mention talking to a bunch of thick headed boys!" Jean huffed.
Both girls left the room leaving Scott, Peter, Kurt and Remy behind. "Seems like the Little Avalanche has a way with the women," Remy said.
"I can't believe this!" Peter grumbled. "Even when he's not here Lance somehow manages to cause trouble for us!"
"This kid is even worse than the real Lance," Kurt grumbled. "He's even got the girls on his side! Not just Kitty!"
"Yeah at least with the real Lance we could hit him," Scott grumbled. Then the mansion began to shake again. "Now what?"
"Oh man this is the worst tremor yet!" Kurt gasped as everything fell off the shelves. "Come on!" He grabbed both Scott and Peter's hand and Remy hung on to Peter. They teleported upstairs.
"Three guesses what's causing it!" Scott said. He burst into the guest bedroom. Little Lance was bawling in the middle of his bed. "Geeze! Kid knock it off with the tremors!"
"I…want…Kitty!" Little Lance howled as the entire room shook violently.
Kitty phased into the room. "Lance! Lance stop it! Stop shaking the place!"
He did so and reached out to hug Kitty. "Kitty…" The boy whimpered.
"It's all right," Kitty soothed the small boy. "It's okay. It's okay. What did you guys do to him?"
"We didn't do anything!" Peter protested.
"He was like this when we found him!" Scott told her.
"Kitty," Little Lance sniffed. "I can't sleep. I had a bad dream."
"Really?" Scott looked around. "We didn't notice."
"Can I stay with you?" Little Lance pleaded. "Please?"
"No way!" Peter snapped. "Forget it!"
"Peter will you calm down!" Kitty told him. "Can't you see the little guy's scared?"
"I don't wanna be alone," Little Lance whined. "I don't want the monsters to get me!"
"Don't worry they're scared to death of you," Remy grumbled.
"Kitty pleeeeeeeeeeeeassssee?" Little Lance begged.
"Oh all right," Kitty sighed. "You can stay in my room. But just this once okay? Then you have to go sleep in your own bed like a big boy."
"You can't be serious!" Peter snapped.
"Peter what am I supposed to do?" Kitty asked as she picked him up. "He's scared okay?"
"But…but…" Peter's jaw dropped as Kitty took him to her room. "You can't do this!"
"It'll be okay," Kitty told him as she put the boy in the bed. "Now remember Lance, it's just for tonight. Okay?"
"Okay," Little Lance cuddled next to Kitty. "Night, night."
"If he's staying so am I!" Peter snapped.
"You are not!" Kitty fumed. "Now come on I really need some sleep here."
"Come on," Scott said as he, Kurt and Remy dragged Peter out of the room. "We all need to get some sleep!"
"I don't believe this!" Peter roared. "HE'S IN HER BED!"
"Pete he's only five," Kurt yawned. "Not even technically."
"He's doing this on purpose just to spite me! I know it!" Peter wailed.
"Colossus, get a grip," Remy grumbled. "Even you can't get jealous over this!"
"I never thought I'd say this but I miss the real Lance!" Peter moaned.
"I am getting out of here," Kurt muttered as he walked away.
"Look I'm sure that everything is all…" Remy began to say when Peter put his finger to his lips. They opened Kitty's door slightly. Kitty was already asleep. Little Lance was cuddled up to her. Then he opened his eyes and made and evil grin. Then he stuck out his tongue at them and made an L shaped sign with his thumb and forefinger. He cuddled closer to Kitty.
"He…did…do it on purpose," Peter hissed. "I'LL KILL HIM!"
"NO!" Remy and Scott snapped as they held him back.
"You're not gonna accomplish anything if you charge in there!" Remy told him.
"This is war!" Peter broke out of their hold and stormed down the hall. "WAR I TELL YOU!"
"I wonder when Lance gets out of solitary confinement?" Scott groaned.
