Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing

"Are we ever glad to see you guys," Kurt sighed.

"Yes now take them away!" Kitty pointed to the mini mutant mob. "PLEASE!"

"Don't you love us Kitty?" Little Lance #12 whimpered.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" All the Lance and Peter clones cried. The ground shook as it reflected the Little Lances' emotions. It shook so hard half of the institute's windows shattered.

"Oh no…" Kitty moaned.

"Don't worry," Longshot said. "We've figured out a way to keep this from happening again."

"What you're gonna lock 'em all in concrete vaults?" Logan asked.

"No," Longshot smiled. "The problem in the first place was that all of them wanted Kitty for themselves. So…" He pushed the button on his portal machine. Suddenly dozens of miniature Kittys appeared.

"Oh my…" Kitty blinked.

"Look at all of them!" Rogue gasped. "Now my worst nightmare has come to life!" Kitty gave Rogue a death glare.

"Kitty…" One of the Little Lances blinked.

"HI!" All the Kittys sang out.

"KITTY!" All the boy clones sang out cheerfully. Soon each Peter/Lance clone was with a Kitty clone. They were hugging each other happily.

"Aw that is so cute," Tabitha grinned.

"Ugh that is so nauseating," Rogue groaned.

"I don't know why we didn't do this in the first place," Longshot shook his head. "Okay kids! Back to Mojoworld!"

"Bye Kitty!" All the Little Lances and Little Peters left with their new girlfriends.

"Sorry about all this," Spiral said.

"See ya around," Baby Wolverine waved. "If you need your butts to be saved again…"

"We'll call someone else!" Logan snapped as he shoved him into the portal.

"Well see ya around X-Men," Spiral waved. "Gotta herd these little guys off. There's a new musical Mojo's putting on with the X-Babies."

"Musical?" Scott asked.

"It wasn't his idea," Longshot sighed. "Trust me, you don't want to know. See ya later!" He went into the portal with Spiral and disappeared.

"Well at least that's over with," Logan sighed. They all went inside.

"Thank god the nightmare is over," Scott moaned.

"Yeah all that's left is the clean up," Remy sighed. "Big surprise."

"Well at least we know that's one thing both Lance and his clones have in common," Peter grumbled.

"Hey your clones did quite a bit of damage you know," Tabitha said.

"Don't remind me," Peter grumbled.

"Well Kitty if anything you learned what it was like to be a parent," Hank said. "Think of it as a learning experience!"

"Believe me this is one lesson I will never forget!" Kitty moaned.

"I don't think anyone will forget these past couple of days," Scott muttered.

"Yeah including Jean," Bobby snickered. "She was almost labeled an unfit unwed mother of mutant triplets!"

"Say what?" Tabitha asked.

"I'll tell you all about it," Bobby smiled as they took off for another room.

"I swear the next time I see Lance pray that I don't hurt him," Jean told Kitty as she stormed off.

"I think we all need a break," Xavier sighed. "I know I do."

"I just don't want to hear the name Avalanche for a long time," Kitty moaned. Then the doorbell rang. "I'll get it." She did. And then she made the loudest scream of her life.

************************************************************************

Ten minutes earlier…

"I can't believe you told her I was locked up and in solitary confinement!" Lance shouted at Todd as he put his jacket on.

"Well you didn't want her to know you had another one of your attacks," Todd defended. "And it was all I could think of at the time."

"Great now she thinks I'm even more of a delinquent than ever," Lance grumbled.

"Fine then next time I'll tell her the truth," Todd said. "I'll tell her you were having seizures and…"

"NO!" Lance whirled on him. Then he softened. "But I just wish you could have thought of something a lot less…"

"Believable?" Todd raised an eyebrow. "How about this? You tell her that it wasn't really you that was doing those bad things but Cobra sent over a synthoid clone of you to infiltrate the base."

"Oh come on," Lance groaned. "Do you really expect her to believe that?"

"Hey she bought the tank story," Todd said. "And considering our track record it isn't that much of a stretch."

"Oh man," Lance rolled his eyes. "Yeah like I'm gonna use that lame excuse. I'm outta here."

"Where you goin'?" Todd hopped after him.

"I'm gonna go see Kitty," Lance put on his Mass Device Watch. "Boy will she be surprised to see me!" He pushed the button and teleported to the X-Mansion's front door. He rang the doorbell.

A very tired Kitty answered the door. "Hey Kitty!" Lance grinned and waved. "I'm back!"

Kitty's eyes grew wide and she let out an ear-piercing scream. "NOOOOOOOO!" She ran away in terror.

"Kitty!" Lance ran after her and was stopped in the hallway by Scott.

"Alvers?" Scott looked at him. "Is that really you?"

"Yeah it's me," Lance glared at him.

"I thought you were locked up in solitary confinement?" Scott asked.

"Uh…that was a mistake," Lance gulped. "You see there was this synthoid clone running around and…"

"Oh man am I glad to see you!" Scott gave Lance a hug.

Peter walked in and saw Scott hugging a shocked Lance. "Is that?"

"It's Lance!" Scott said happily. "He's back!"

"YIPPEEE!" Peter shouted and hugged Lance as well.

"What the…?" Lance yelped.

"Hey Lance is back," Tabitha walked in. She turned and shouted. "Hey Jean, the father of your baby's here!"

"SHUT UP TABITHA!" Jean stormed in. She glared at Lance. "And you…you…you…. AAGGGGGHGHHH!" She stormed out again. "Lance Alvers you are never going to touch me! EVER!"

"Baby?" Lance started to twitch. "Uh could you two let me go now?"

"We are so glad to see you!" Peter sobbed.

"Good old Lance!" Scott said happily. "Good old one of a kind single minded Lance!"

"LANCE!" Remy shouted. "LET ME KILL HIM!" He charged at him.

"Don't even think about it!" Both Scott and Peter held him back.

"HAS THIS ENTIRE MANSION GONE NUTS?" Lance yelled. "I'M GONE FOR A FEW DAYS AND THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS? WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED?"

"You don't want to know," Ororo sighed as she trudged to Xavier's study. She opened the door. "Charles I….NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

There all around the room were several small cartoon like versions of Shipwreck. "HIYA DOLLFACE!" They shouted cheerfully. "REMEMBER US?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ororo screamed.