*cackles madly* We're baaaaa~aaaaaack! For those of you who followed us in the YYH section, welcome back! For those of you who don't have a damn clue who I am, hiya! *bows* The name's Sita-chan. I'm an Aries who enjoys long walks on the beach and small white puppies- ...Ahem. Anyway...Welcome to the first installment of The Somewhat Insane World of Three Psychotic Otakus, AKA TSIWOTPO. ...Wow, those initials are a lot more fun than TCMUWOSCAFC! Tanytway...If you guys are familiar with TCMUWOSCAFC, then you pretty much know what's happening. If not...Well, me 'n' my partners, Yoko-chan and Satsuki-chan, have a secret underground studio where we oh-so-cheerfully destroy the minds of different anime characters under the clever disguise of a talk show! Sit back, relax, and enjoy THE SOMEWHAT INSANE WORLD OF THREE PSYCHOTIC OTAKUS! And please remember, flash photography and throwing chickens at the hostesses are both strictly prohibited.
Disclaimers: I own nothing.
Warnings: Insanity, stupidity, randomness
TSIWOTPO: The Random Rantings of Heero the Ghetto Homeboy
Sita: Lower! LOWER, DAMMIT!
Mover Men-Type People: *grumble and complain* *lower a green neon sign that says, "The Somewhat Insane World of Three Psychotic Otakus" into place*
Yoko: RIGHT THERE! *starry-eyed* It's boooooooody-ful!
Sita: *dusts off chairs* Are we on?
Yoko: ....I think so....
Sita: *salutes audience* Greetings, world! I'm Sita-chan!
Yoko: *bows* And I'm Yoko-chan!
Both: .....
Audience: .....BOOOOOO!
Sita: *throws a flying cabbage at the audience*
Yoko: SATSUKI, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE!
*sparks explode out of the stage* *Five Iron Frenzy's "Superpowers" starts playing in the background*
Satsuki: *explodes out of the wall with a hand mic* *screams into mic* HELLLLLOOOOOO, ANIME WORLD! ARE YOU READY TO ROOOOOOOCK?!
Audience: HELL YEEEEEEAH! *moshes*
Yoko: *whacks Satsuki with a rabid badger*
Satsuki: That was full of ouchy-ness...Ahem. Anyway, I'm Satsuki-chan! And welcome to...
All Three: THE SOMEWHAT INSANE WORLD OF THREE PSYCHOTIC OTAKUS!
Canadian Prostitutes: *wiggle on* *dance* *wiggle off*
Sita: You may remember Yoko-chan and me from the YYH version. Satsuki here's a new addition.
Yoko: *pinches Satsuki's cheeks* She's just a wittle baby, yeeeeeah! Who's a good girl? Who's a good girl?
Satsuki: I AM! I AM! *attaches herself to Yoko's leg*
Yoko: Anyway...Our basic purpose is to mentally destroy the cast of an anime under the clever disguise of a talk show. But we don't do it alone! Oooooh, no! We have...
All Three: AN ANIME PANEL!
Satsuki: *hops off of Yoko's leg* Me first! Me first! *grabs her hand mic* First off, my choice!
Sita: How come you get a hand mic?
Satsuki: 'Cause I'm cooler than you! Anyway, my choice for the panel hails from an anime known as Gravitation! That's right, the blond bastard that everyone can't help but love! Everybody, give it up foooor...YUKIIIIIIIII!
Yuki: *trudges on stage* *grumbles* Why am I doing this? Shit, I don't wanna be here...
Satsuki: YUKIIIIIIIII! YUKI, YUKI, YUKI, YUKIIIIII! *glomps Yuki*
Yuki: Well...this feels oddly familiar. You know this kid, Shuichi? Loud, annoying, hyper, but cute in a weird kind of way? Pink hair?
Yoko: *pries Satsuki off of Yuki with the Jaws of Life (TM)*
Yuki: *grumbles, complains, and sits in his chair* *drinks beer*
Yoko: *steals Satsuki's mic*
Satsuki: *sniffles* TODD! COME BACK, TODD!
Yoko: ....Your mic has a name?
Sita: Apparently.
Yoko: Tanytway, kiddies, my choice is next. *drools* You may remember this Weiß guy from when he made a guest appearance in TCMUWOSCAFC. Everyone's favorite assassin, the wielder of the genki darts of death....OMI!
Omi: *skips out happily* Hello, everybody! My name's Omi! Whaaaat's yours?
Sita: ...Have you been watching Gypsy?
Omi: *smiles genki-ly*
Yoko: *vibrates* WAAAAAAI! *tackle-glomps Omi*
Sita: My turn, my turn! *grabs Todd, the hand mic*
Satsuki: *cries* GIMME TODD! TODD DOESN'T LIKE YOU!
Yoko: *whacks Satsuki with the Mallet-O-Anti-Things-Named-Todd (TM)*
Sita: .....Riiiiiiight. Anyway, on to my pick. I couldn't think of who to pick. I got some requests from various people (Bakura being the favorite), but none of them really struck me. So, I decided to listen to the reviewers' OTHER favorite choice. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you....THE RETURN OF FARFIE!
Farfie: *cackles and runs out* I WILL NOT BE CRUSHED! TAKE THAT, GOD! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
Yoko: *shrug* We've got the knife room installed for him, anyway.
Farfie: *sits in his chair*
Yuki and Omi: *edge away*
Satsuki: It's now time to introduce our super-special slave-
Sita: *smacks Satsuki with a copy machine*
Satsuki: Er, guest for today!
Yoko: Everybody put your hand-like appendages together for....
All Three: HEERO YUY!
Three-Legged Donkeys: *tumble out* *quack* *tumble away*
Heero: *walks out*
Audience: *cheers and hoots*
Heero: ....Omae o korosu.
Audience: WAAAAAAAAI! *cheers louder*
Heero: ....... *sits*
Sita: Howdy-ho, Heero!
Heero: ......
Yoko: Hola! How are ya doing?
Heero: .......
Satsuki: *yanks a large hunk of cheese out of kanji space* *takes a bite* *spits cheese at Heero*
Heero: *yanks gun out of pants*
Yoko: WHICH BRINGS US TO OUR FIRST QUESTION! Heero, your outfit is very stylish.
Omi: *laughs*
Sita: Look who's talking, Mr. Bondage Shirt.
Omi: *turns red* ONLY IN THE SECOND HALF OF THE SERIES!
Yoko: ANYWAY. Yes, stylish. Very nice. Green tank top, spandex shorts, ugly-ass....ahem....INTERESTING yellow high-tops. But as nice as your clothes are, they don't leave much room for...well, anything. So how do you keep your gun in there?
Heero: ..... *begins to pull off shorts*
*~*~*CENSORED*~*~*
Yoko: Oooooh! So that's how you do it!
Sita and Satsuki: O_o
Yuki and Omi: O_o
Farfie: *cackles*
Heero: *smirks*
Satsuki: Erm...I was going to ask "boxers or briefs," but apparently, it's neither...
Sita: Ahem....'Kay, my turn. Seriously, why don't you just kill Relena?
Audience: *claps* YOU GO, GIRL!
Heero: ....She's essential for peace.
Yoko: Fuck peace! KILL THE BITCH!
Satsuki: RIGHT ON!
Audience: *cheers wildly*
Heero: ...It'd be easy....
Satsuki: VERY easy!
Heero: ...It'd be fun...
Yoko: VERY fun!
Heero: *evil cackle, a la episode one*
Yoko: ....'Kay. I have another one! How come you sound so different from Schuldig even though you guys have the same voice actor?
Heero: ....Come again?
Satsuki: But I didn't the first time!
Sita: *thwacks Satsuki with the Mallet-O-Anti-Perversion (TM)*
Yoko: You know, you 'n' Schu. You both have Midorikawa Hikaru for a voice actor.
Sita: Oooh, oooh! Do me a favor and say, "I shot your pigs!"
Heero: ...I shot your pigs.
Sita, Yoko, Satsuki: PIGS! *laugh hysterically*
Yoko: Okay, let's take a break and see if the anime panel has any questions.
Satsuki: *attaches herself to Yuki's leg* What do you have to say, Yuki-chan? *starry-eyed*
Yuki: For starters, never call me Yuki-chan again.
Satsuki: Okie dokey, Yuki-chaaaaaaan! *drools*
Yuki: Uh-huh....Anyway...So, yeah, I have a question. Where'd you get your gun?
Heero: I made it.
Yuki: *raises an eyebrow* You're shitting me.
Heero: Nah. I made it.
Yuki: That rocks. It looks like a good one.
Heero: It's never failed me before.
Yuki and Heero: *yap about guns and about how they want to kill the guy/girl with pink hair/cars who always follows them*
Yoko: Awwww, look. Hee-chan made a friend.
Sita: Yeah, great, wonderful. That's just fine and dandy, but IT SUCKS FOR RATINGS! On with the questions! Omi?
Omi: *has fallen into one of his flashbacks* *is sobbing* WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME, DADDY?! WAAAAAAH!
Yoko: Hoo boy...here we go again. Let's just move on. Farfie?
Farfie: Guns are stoopid. With two "O's." Do you like... *shifty eyes* ...knives?
Heero: .....Er, yeah. Knives are great.
Farfie: *cackles* You rock. *licks his knife*
Heero: Is he on medication?
Satsuki: Are you kidding? The boy's got meds coming out of his ass.
Farfie: *trots off to his special knife room to play Solitaire...since Solitaire hurts God and all*
Yoko: *snatches Todd* Audience questions! What do you guys have to say?
Audience Member #1: *raises hand*
Yoko: *runs to the person* Hi, sir, you're live on The Somewhat Insane World of Three Psychotic Otakus!
Audience Member #1: Does Catherine scare you more than Relena?
Heero: ....Nothing scares me. But I'd have to say that Catherine comes the closest to actually scaring me.
Sita: Wow! I think that was the longest sentence Heero's ever said! ^_^
Audience Member #1: What about Relena?
Heero: She just...icks me. Ick. That's the word.
Farfie: All that pink... *shudders*
Heero: I hear you, yo. Word.
Audience: ....eh?
Satsuki: ...Did you just say "yo?"
Yoko: And "word?"
Heero: Erm...No! 'Course not!
Sita: Heero...Are you a ghetto homeboy?
Heero: .... *bursts into tears*
Omi: I like him!
Heero: YES! YES, IT'S TRUE! *sobs* But I can't tell them that!
Yuki: "Them?"
Heero: THE OTHERS! *shifty eyes* They'd laugh at me! And that ain't cool, yo! Word to your mother and your sister, bitch!
Yuki: I hate my sister.
Yoko: You don't like too many people, do you?
Satsuki: HE LIKES MEEEEEE! *attaches herself to Yuki's leg*
Yuki: ....God, I hate you.
Farfie: I hate God, too! ^_^
Sita: ....Yeah, I think we all know that.
Satsuki: Which brings us to the last question of the evening! Yoko?
Yoko: Okie dokey, Heero! On the cover of the Endless Waltz DVD, your hand is in a...very interesting spot. More specifically, behind Duo's arse.
Sita: Arse?
Yoko: Yes. Arse.
Satsuki: Arse! Arse, arse, arse! *dances*
Yoko: *smacks Satsuki with the Mallet-O-Anti-British-Words (TM)* So, anyway, why's your hand there? *snickers her special Yaoi Fangirl Snicker*
Heero: *twitches*
Yuki: What did you morons do to him?
Omi: *pokes at Heero with one of his darts*
Farfie: .... *bites Heero*
Heero: *explodes* EVERYONE ALWAYS ASKS ME STUPID QUESTIONS ABOUT DUO! "HEERO AND DUO" THIS, "HEERO AND DUO" THAT! WHAT BE UP WITH THAT, YO?! AIN'T NOTHIN' BETWEEN US, YO! WORD!
Sita: *has changed into a science lab coat thing* Interesting...With my observations, I have hypothesized that Heero's ghetto-ness factor increases with how pissed he is. *straightens glasses in an attempt to look smart and professional and schtuff*
Yoko: Hmmm...Then why was your hand there?! HUH?! HUH?!
Satsuki: *has lost interest and is chewing on Yuki's ankle*
Farfie: *is chewing on Yuki's other ankle*
Omi: *is convulsing on the floor with one of his flashbacks* OUKA! OUKA!
Yuki: *has six cigarettes in his mouth* *is shaking* *pops another one in*
Heero: He changed places with Trowa during the shoot and I forgot! THAT'S ALL! WORD TO MY HOMIES!
Satsuki: *perks up* So you 'n' Trowa?
Heero: Fo' shizzle, yo. He be mah bizzatch.
Sita: I believe that he has reached maximum ghetto-ness potential.
Yoko: So wait...who's Duo with?
Heero: Wufei.
Sita: *vibrates* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAI! *does the victory dance* OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I KNEW IT! I KNEEEEEEEEEEEW IT! *runs into audience* *jams her finger into a random person's face* You didn't believe me, but I KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEW! *yanks her collection of 5x2 flags out of kanji space and begins handing them out to random audience members*
Satsuki: And if you're with Trowa, who's Quatre with?
Heero: Zechs.
All: O_o
Farfie: Wow...that's a little odd, even for me.
Yuki: And that's saying something.
Omi: *convulses* I NEVER GOT HUGS AS A CHILD! NOOOO, I WAS THE FREAK WHO GOT KIDNAPPED! *convulses more*
Satsuki and Farfie: *go back to chewing on Yuki's legs*
Yuki: I may as well just give up.
Sita: So who's Trieze with?
Heero: Une.
All: ....WHAT?!
Yoko and Satsuki: He's STRAIGHT?!
Sita: *cackles* I CAN WRITE NON-YAOI! ....sort of....
Yoko: I think that's the end of the first episode...
Sita: Yup!
Satsuki: *chews* ^_^
Sita: So, we'd like to give a big thanks to our guest for today, Heero!
Heero: *has changed into baggy-ass pants, backwards baseball cap, and huge diamond cross* Word, homesilces.
Yoko: And of course, a huge thank you to the anime panel!
Yuki: *twitches*
Omi: *convulses*
Farfie: *chews*
Satsuki: YAAAAAAY! So, to end the show, we leave you with Heero and his new rap! Watch for his single in stores soon! Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...FUNKMASTER WING!
Heero: *grabs Todd as a funky beat starts up* Yo, yo, yo. Wave your hands in the air, yo! Come on!
Audience: *waves hands*
Sita, Yoko, Satsuki: *beatbox*
Heero: Well, my name be Odin, but call me Heero
I got the best gundam, it ain't no zero
It can change into a plane, so don't you trifle
If you do, I'll kick yo' ass with the busta' rifle!
I said, ho!
Audience: HO!
Heero: The Perfect Soldier is what they call me
And I ain't quite human, as you may see
My bones may break, I might get shot
But they can't stop me, 'cause I'm too hot!
I said, ho!
Audience: HO!
Heero: Don't ask me 'bout the guy with the braid
'Cause we ain't together, I'm afraid
He ain't the one that I was chasin'
I just wanna beat his loud-ass face in!
Duo: *runs in* THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU SAID LAST NIGHT! *runs out cackling*
Heero: THAT'S A LIE!
Trowa: *runs in* YOU SLEPT WITH HIM?!
Heero: No! I swear it, Honeybear!
Satsuki: HONEYBEAR?! *cackles hysterically*
Yuki: NOW'S MY CHANCE! *runs*
Farfie: *tackles him*
Wufei: *runs in* *brandishes his sword* Hands OFF the moron, Yuy! He's MINE!
Heero, Trowa, Wufei: *fight*
*random shouts of "I swear I didn't!" and "KISAMA!" are heard*
Sita, Yoko, Satsuki: *sweatdrop*
Farfie: *is watching and eating popcorn*
Omi: ALL I WANTED IS TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE! BUT NOOO, I'M AN ASSASSIN WHO ARRANGES FLOWERS!
Yuki: Shut. Him. Up.
Sita: Well, that's our show, kids. We'll see you next week when we interview everyone's favorite Shinigami...DUO!
Yoko: Like he's not sick of us. He was on the panel last time.
Sita: *is too busy drooling* Anyway, I'm Sita-chan!
Yoko: I'm Yoko-chan!
Satsuki: AND I'M OUT OF MY MIND!
Yoko: *pokes her*
Satsuki: I mean...I'm Satsuki-chan! And this has been...
All Three: THE SOMEWHAT INSANE WORLD OF THREE PSYCHOTIC OTAKUS!
Heero: I DIDN'T DO IT!
Trowa: I'M SICK OF YOUR LIES!
Wufei: KISAMA!
Yuki: Eh, what the hell? *joins the brawl for no apparant reason*
Yoko: Is there a doctor in the general vicinity?
Sita: We're gonna need one...
Satsuki: LEPRECHAUNS! *convulses*
Yoko: Get a psychiatrist while you're at it!
Satsuki: ^_^
OWARI
I FINISHED IT! *cackles* Hope ya liked the first chapter! Pleeeeease review! Reviews are pretty...They make chapters come faster. If you wanna ask a G-boy or girl (yes, they'll be here too) a question, e-mail them to me, Sita-chan, at Tweetybird3413@aol.com. Next time, we'll have DUO!!! WAAAAI!
CREDITS!
Hostessess: Sita-chan, Yoko-chan, Satsuki-chan
Torture-ee: Heero
Anime Panel: Yuki, Omi, Farfie
Special Guests: Duo, Trowa, Wufei
Section-O-Tankies
If you review, guess what?! YOU GET YOUR NAME HERE! Along with a SPECIAL CUSTOMIZED THANK YOU (TM)! So review! Pleeease? *chibi eyes*
