sorry its taking me a while inbetween chapters. i usually type in my days off and this past week i went away for them so.......no time to write! i'll try to do better ;)thanks for the reviews!

chapter 3

i left him alone all day at school today. I mean, i wanted to talk to him but i dont think he's ready to talk to me right now. i'll have to wait til after school to try and convince him to give me another chance. He probably shouldnt. i cant say for sure whether or not i'd give him another chance if he fucked around on me like i did him.

its not that he totally ignored me all day or anything. He'd nod and say hey whenever we ran into each other but that's pretty much it. He didnt show up at lunch, which isnt unusual since he usually heads off somewhere to play around on his laptop. None of my friends suspected anything really. Anzu asked me if i was sick or something cause i seemed down and i said i had a shitty sleep that night and she bought it. It's not a total lie, i did sleep like shit. all i could think about was that look on his face.........i really just wanted to forget that look. I dont think i've ever hurt someone that bad in my whole life.

Finally school was over. It had felt like it was the longest day of my life! Seto didnt show up right away. So after i had my shit packed up i just sat down on the floor in front of my locker and pulled out my discman.
After 3 songs he showed up.

"oh, hey!" i said pull the earphones out of my ears.

"hey."

I stood up and put my discman in my bag, "so......where do you wanna go? your place?"

"no not really."

"ok.........um.........well where do you wanna go?"

Seto sighed, " i dunno........just go sit at the park or something i guess"

So we headed off to the park. We didn't speak the whole walk there. I'd look over at him every once in a while and everytime he had his head down , eyes looking at the ground infront of him.

When we got to the park Seto headed over to a bench under a tree and sat down heavily. I followed and set my bag down on the grass.

I just waited. He was probably still deciding what to do with this whole situation. So i let him think it out. We sat in silence for 5 more minutes. Then he lifted his head to look up at the sky and sighed.

"so."

i turned my body to face him, "So?"

"So.........what are we going to do about this Joey?"

He was still looking up at the sky. he didnt turn to look at me. Maybe he was too disgusted to look me in the eye. Had i hurt him that bad?

"well I..........I dunno Seto...........I mean.........I'm sorry i did it! I really am! but you probably dont believe me, do you?"

" i dont know what i believe right now Joey" Finally he turned to look at me. " I want to believe you're sorry. ......And i want to believe you wont do it again. but its easier said than done."

"i know........But i mean it! how can i prove that to you?"

Seto just shock his head.

"no i mean it Seto! How do i prove that to you? tell me what you want me to do!"

Again he shook his head, "i dunno what i want right now." He sighed, "but you could start by quitting your job."

"ok , done!" i should have seen that coming. that was an obvious and understandable request. "what else?"

He leaned forward and put his head in his hands and shook his head again. "Joey! Fuck off for a minute!"

I could tell there were tears in his eyes, and he tired to wipe them away. I couldnt stand to see him cry like that. and because of me!

I reached toward him and wrapped my arms around him rubbing my tearstained cheek against his.

"i'm sooo sorry!.....you really dont know how sorry i am!"

He started to cry harder but he didnt push me away.

"i love you." i whispered as i kissed his cheek.

He pulled his face away from mine "how can you say that?!how can you honestly say that after what you did?i mean, its not even like it was one time! YOu kept fucking around with him for a couple of weeks!"

I didnt know what to say. I mean, i still didnt really understand why i did it. But i did know that i really did love him!

" i know..........i dont know why i did it...........Seto.......i really do love you."

He laughed bitterly.

" what? was it not good for you anymore?"he asked pulling his coat tighter around him.

was what not good fo rme anymore? what's he talking about?

"it was better with him then?why didnt you just dump me for him then? well?"

"Seto what are you talking about?" i was really confused.

"the sex. , idiot! the fucking sex!" he yelled loud enough for some kids over playing on the swings 100 metres away to hear. they giggled and he turned to look at them.

Shit! wow am i stupid! ofcourse that's what he was talking about!

"god no! It was about that!"

He turned and looked at me, his eyes narrowed. "how could it not be about that??? you were fucking somebody else! and you're telling me it wasnt about sex?! are you even thinking before you speak?"

"its just.......its not like that! i mean.....you're good.......you're better than good!" i couldnt help but blush. i lenaed forward and grabbed hold of one of his hands. I kissed his plam and pressed my face against it.

"Do you still love me?"i had to ask. there was no point to any of this really, if he doesnt.

He's face softened and he stepped closer. "yes, i still love you."

i looked up into his beautiful blue eyes, " are you sure?i think you need to be sure."

He sat down beside me, with my hand in his.he started absentmindedly tracing the contours of my hand with his other hand. "yes i'm sure Joey. that was never in question."

"can you forgive me? Can we get passed this? i know i fucked up! i promise i wont ever again! i'm serious Seto!"

He was quiet for a moment. He turned to look back the sky. I was getting scared. He wasnt answering my questions. What if he said no, he couldnt forgive me, what i had done was too horrible. I had fucked everything up! i ruined everything!

" i guess i wouldnt be here if i didnt think i could forgive you."

so that's a yes right? he can forgive me?

"i just need time ok?"

i looked at me and smiled with tears in my eyes. "ok"