Author's Note/Disclaimer: I don't own Wild ARMs 3. So there. I also don't own Coke or my reference to Cocoon. I do, however own Andie Platt and Ruskin "The Wildcat" Lawler. If you'd like to borrow them for whatever reason, just drop me a note and let me know about it. Dunno why you'd wanna, though. ^_^
Well, this turned out a bit lamer than I hoped. The idea was good, but it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to. But oh, well, here it is anyway. ^_^ In case you're wondering, Andie and Ruskin are some Drifters I invented for a couple of other fics I'm working on. And in case you think Ruskin's scene is a little disturbing, just keep in mind that the character himself is just a little disturbed. ^_^
"Kick The Memory Figure"
By Skylark Starflower
Started May 24, 2003
Finished May 27, 2003
Gallows sighed in frustration as he tried yet again to use the Memory Figure in Little Twister.
"Beep SORRY… NO CAN DO… YOU'VE BEEN LOCKED OUT…click" Gallows growled and kicked the thing.
"Beep AWK…! click"
Jet smirked. "Cute. They react to being kicked. Lemme try."
"Jet!" exclaimed Virginia as the silver haired boy delivered a sharp boot to the Memory Figure.
"Beep ACK…! click" Clive snickered as Bofiel fell over. Virginia scowled at him.
"Don't encourage them, Clive!"
"I apologize, Virginia, but that was rather funny."
Virginia just sighed.
* * *
Maya walked over to the Memory Figure and tried to make use of it.
"Beep WANT SOME CANDY, LITTLE GIRL…?"
"What!?" Maya took a step back in surprise. The Memory Figure merely clicked at her, looking innocent.
"Hurry up, sis! What's taking you so long?" called Alfred. He, Todd and Shady were standing at the entrance to Little Rock, waiting for Maya to finish with the Memory Figure. She waved her hand at them in the universal gesture to shut up and wait and tried again.
"Beep DRINK COKE, PLAY AGAIN…" said Doley.
"RAAAGH!"
With that said, Maya dealt Doley a sharp kick that sent the Memory Figure flying through the air.
"Beep WAHHG…!"
"Cheeky piece of tin foil," she grumbled, joining the others and leaving town.
* * *
Ruskin reached the end of Nidhogg Pass and stepped out into the surrounding greenery of the Yggdrasil area.
"Huh. So this is the place where I can make use of this diamond," he thought and pulled out a compass. Finding north, he turned to the south. "That puts that place I was told about this way." Heading off, he eventually found Greenlodge.
"Well, whaddya know. The Ark's even got a Memory Figure out in this backwoods area." He walked over and tried to use it.
"Beep WANNA SAVE…? TOO BAD…"
Ruskin raised an eyebrow and tried again.
"Beep NOTHING DOING, PAL…"
Ruskin growled deep in his throat and tried once more.
"Beep DON'T MAKE ME BITE YOU ON THE LEG…"
Ruskin calmly kicked the Memory Figure over and, without a trace of expression on his face, produced one of his knives with a flick of his wrist. With it, he cut through the front of the Memory Figure as though it were made of aluminum.
Then he tore the cut open and proceeded to rip out Bifiel's internal wires. Walking over to a tree, he used these to tie the unlucky machine to an overhanging branch.
Turning, Ruskin left the area, a trace of a smile dancing on his lips.
Bifiel swung gently in the breeze, twisting slowly. "Beep HELP ME…"
* * *
At the Ark of Destiny, Albert found that the Memory Figure at Greenlodge needed repairs using the Ark's advanced tracking technology.
Traveling out to the area, Albert saw Bifiel swinging on his tree branch.
He burst into tears.
* * *
Once Albert got back to the Ark, he was greeted with some more news. Or rather, someone who had more news greeted him.
"Andie! What are you doing here!?"
Andie ran over to her boyfriend and threw her arms around him. "Figured I'd drift over this way and say hi."
Albert broke off the hug as he stared at Andie in shock. "You're a Drifter? Who's doing the ARMsmithing in Laxisland?"
"Oh, Zim said he'd cover it until he trained up someone new. Is there a Memory Figure here I can use?"
Albert pointed over to the inn. "Right over there. We've just upgraded them a few months back. I'll be in the main room when you're done."
Andie headed to the room where the Memory Figure waited and tried to use it.
"Beep SORRY… I'M ON BREAK…"
"No you're not, you piece of crap," she muttered and tried again.
"Beep YOU ARE TRYING TO BREAK UNION RULES… KINDLY BUGGER OFF…"
With a cry like a feral cat, Andie kicked Orley across the room.
* * *
These were but a few cases of Memory Figures acting up and not doing what they were supposed to. Many Drifters found that they were unable to make any use of them.
So when these four groups happened to all meet by chance in the middle of the wasteland, Virginia decided they should start a club…
* * *
"Here, here!" Virginia banged her gavel on the table. "The first meeting of … uh … this club shall come to order! First order of business, what are we gonna call ourselves?"
The others fell silent as they started to brainstorm name ideas. Starting at Virginia, the whole group was sitting around a circular table. To Virginia's left sat Jet and to Jet's left was Clive. Then came Ruskin, Maya, Alfred, Shady, Todd, Andie and Gallows.
"I got it!" cried Gallows, "Memory Figures Die, Die, Die!" The others gave him funny looks. Virginia sweatdropped.
"Uh, not quite so bloodthirsty, I think."
Maya raised her hand. "I think I've got one. How about 'The Icy Black Hand Of Death?'"
"Seconded," came Ruskin's quiet voice almost immediately.
"Uh, we'll keep it in mind," replied Virginia as Clive shifted his chair just that much further away from Ruskin and Maya.
"Burning Fire Burning Club!" piped up Alfred.
Virginia sighed. "No! It's gotta have something to do with Memory Figures! Even Gallows' suggestion was better than that!
"The name has got to send a message to the Ark of Destiny, letting them know that we aren't taking any more of this crap! …I've got it! We'll be the Society For Cruelty To Memory Figures!"
Jet nudged Clive and whispered, "she's so cute when she's decisive." Clive merely grinned.
"Okay, so now that we've got a name, what are we going to do?" asked Maya.
"As the name implies, we go around being cruel to Memory Figures until the Ark changes their programming back to what it used to be! Now, troops, off to Gunner's Heaven to play Kick The Memory Figure!"
* * *
And so The Society For Cruelty To Memory Figures traveled the world over, abusing Memory Figures as they went. They played Kick The Memory Figure, which was basically soccer with the Figure as the ball. The Ark of Destiny tried to catch them, but they always arrived too late.
But that all changed on one fateful day…
* * *
Virginia stood at her podium, finishing off her speech.
"And I say," she yelled, "are we gonna leave any Memory Figures unabused?!"
"NO!" chorused the others.
"Good!" Virginia hopped down from the podium. "Now, what Figures haven't we abused yet?"
"Well, there's the one at the Ark of Destiny," said Andie.
"Time to make our presence known, then! Let's go!"
They arrived at the Ark of Destiny in short order and proceeded to march in. Albert was there, waiting for them. He did a double take.
"Andie!? Why!?"
She shrugged. "Just cause. Now, will you idiots reprogram the Memory Figures, or do we have to keep abusing them?"
"No!" cried Albert, "we'll fix them! Just don't destroy them anymore! Please!"
And the Society For Cruelty To Memory Figures lived anticlimactically ever after.
The End
Well, that was the first of my Memory Figure Series. The next installment will be "Interview With A Memory Figure." I'm gonna do that one a bit differently than I usually do, and for it, I'm asking for some audience participation. Wanna ask a Memory Figure a question? ^_^ Just add it in the review (or e-mail me. Doesn't matter) and mention which MF you'd like to ask it of. ^_^ Come on, *imitates Rin* it could be… fun. ^_^ (And I should probably mention that I won't be back until sometime July because of moving so don't feel rushed. ^_^)
Now I'll take a bit of time to reply to some of the reviews I've gotten:
Jumi-Pearl and Hockey Girl – About your review of the second chapter of Short Stories: *Takes a deep breath* AHHHH! AHHHH! *Continues to run around screaming until hitting a wall* *BAM* Urg…anyone else just go to a scary visual place? Anyway, just to reassure you, that was not meant to be Clive/Virginia. They're just friends. I'm strictly Jet/Virginia, Clive/Catherine. ^_^
aya-yahiko - Oh, I'm sure Catherine is a wonderful cook, it's just her cookies. ^_^ Funny thing about "Cookies" is that it was inspired by the cookies my mom made a while back. ^_^
And for those of you who want me to write a sequel to Clive And The Attack Of The Deranged Weedwhacker - Well, that ending was a joke, much like the ending of Mel Brooks' History Of The World Part 1. But I may write one anyway, if I can come up with a plot that doesn't basically rehash the first one. ^_^
(And did anyone else notice that the names of the Memory Figures were ripped off from the dwarves in The Hobbit? I wonder if that's something Square did when they translated the game, or if it was always that way. ^_^)
