By Serendipity
Author's Note: Ah, the long awaited Chapter Four. I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I did writing it. Also you have Christina (Alexandra here at FF.Net) to thank for getting me to sit down and actually write this.
Another Author's Note: Seeing as OoTP has come out, we all know that this is definitely NOT how the team spends the summer. But seeing as so many people like this fic let's all forget that this didn't really happen, okay?
Disclaimer: I...DO...NOT...OWN...THEM!!!!
Big Butts
Hermione lazily rolled over and picked up her phone which was ringing off the hook. "Hello?" she asked sleepily. Looking at her clock she saw that it was 6 in the morning. Who did she know would call her at that ungodly hour?
"Hermione, you've got to help me!"
"Harry?" Hermione asked. She was suddenly fully awake. The urgency in Harry's voice told her that something might be wrong and Hermione began thinking of devastation beyond imagination. "What's wrong?" she asked, sitting up. She was ready to sprint from bed and rouse Ron at a moment's notice so they could head out and help Harry before her parents awoke to stop them.
"Okay, listen, I wrote to Ron inviting him and Ginny over for the summer..."
"Ron's over here," Hermione interrupted him, relaxing a little. If he was just worried about where Ron was, then it was nothing to get worked up over.
"I know," Harry continued, still using an urgent tone. "So I told Ginny she could come over by herself because the Dursleys are gone and Sirius can only stay for a few days before returning to where ever he was and I wanted someone to talk to over summer."
"So what happened, didn't she come?" Hermione asked, trying not to fall back to sleep.
"She came," Harry replied.
"So what's the problem?" Hermione asked in an annoyed tone. Hermione and Ron had had a late night and Hermione wanted to get some sleep.
"The problem is that I saw her get off of the train and I realized..." Harry lowered his voice to barely a whisper, "that she's a girl."
"Oh for the love of God!" Hermione exclaimed, not bothering to keep her voice down. "Honestly, you and Ron need to take a Health class or something if you're both just recently noticing the differences between boys and girls!"
"Very funny, Hermione. You know what I meant."
"I still don't know what the problem is," Hermione said, lowering her voice once more. "So you developed a thing for Ginny, good for you, its called puberty and it happens to all of us."
"The problem is that Sirius is leaving today and I don't know what to do with Ginny now that we have the whole house to ourselves."
"Well what do you want to do with her?" Hermione asked.
Harry lowered his voice once more.
"I want to do things with her that would make Ron kill me if he ever knew."
"Uh, just keep your pants on and everything will be fine. Take her out on the town. Better yet take her to a movie. Ron nearly wet himself seeing one for the first time last night."
Harry and Hermione had a good laugh over that then said goodbye and hung up.
"Well Harry, I've got to go," Sirius said as Harry hung up the phone. Harry hadn't heard Sirius come in.
"So soon?" Harry asked disappointed.
"Yeah," Sirius replied, pulling Harry into a hug. "Now the Godfather in me is telling me that I should send you and your lady friend somewhere where you'll be supervised..." he started out with a sly smile, "but the dog in me is cheering you on and wanting to teach you the infertility spell. So I decided to compromise and do neither. Goodbye!"
And with a loud crack Sirius was gone.
"Wait!" Harry exclaimed to the thin air where his Godfather used to be, "there's a infertility spell?"
No one answered Harry, so Harry decided to ask someone else.
"Hello?" came Hermione's still sleepy answer.
"Hermione, you've got to help me!"
"Harry, what the...?"
Harry was going to ask Hermione about the infertility spell, but then realized that her parents were muggles and she wouldn't know. He needed someone whose parents would include the infertility spell along with The Talk. He needed someone from an all-wizarding family. He needed...
"Hermione, put Ron on!"
"Hello?" Ron mumbled sleepily into the phone. He moved over slightly as Hermione lay down on the bed, too tired to retreat back into her own.
"Ron, do you know the infertility spell?" came a nearly baritone voice from the other end.
"Harry?" Ron asked incredulously.
"Yeah," Harry replied.
Ron laughed and sat up in bed.
"Who are you trying to shag then?" he asked, now wide awake and grinning like mad. Hermione shot up from her laying position and looked shocked.
"Did I say that I wanted to use it?" Harry exclaimed from the other end. "Listen, do you know it or not?"
"Yeah I know it," Ron said, then he told Harry the appropriate words and said goodbye. He handed the phone back to Hermione.
"So I guess Harry and Ginny found something to do while they're together, huh?" she asked, still a bit sleepily.
"WHAT?!" Ron yelled, making a sudden movement that made Hermione fall out of bed.
"Hermione!" came Mr. Granger's voice from somewhere down the hall.
Ron didn't seem to hear and proceeded by pulling Hermione back up so that she was very close to his face.
"What do you mean with Ginny?" he asked her.
But Hermione didn't get to answer him because at that moment, Mr. Granger barged into the room, pried Hermione off, and began hitting Ron with a broomstick.
Harry scratched down the words on a piece of paper and shoved it in his pocket. He wasn't planning on doing anything with Ginny, but he wanted to be prepared for future reference. Just then he heard a door open upstairs and Ginny appeared.
"Good morning," she said brightly. "Where's Sirius?"
"He left," Harry said simply.
"Oh," replied Ginny.
They then stood there as an awkward silence fell upon them.
"I'll make breakfast then, shall I?" Harry asked.
"This isn't right!" Ron exclaimed for the millionth time as he paced up and down the side of Hermione's pool.
Hermione was lying out on a raft in the pool, greatly regretting telling Ron anything. She had hoped that being in a swim suit would force Ron to think of something else seeing as he hardly ever saw her out of her school uniform, but alas, the beating Mr. Granger had given Ron that morning seemed to shut him off from any feelings other than frustration.
Hermione gazed at him from over her sunglasses. He had a cut by his eye and a bad bruise on his arm. It took a lot of explanations and promises (and a lot of whiskey) before Hermione's father consented to Ron staying. Though he did throw the two teens a look of warning as they headed out back to go swimming.
"How could mum let her 14-year-old daughter spend time with a 15-year-old boy?"
"Ron, you know Harry's not like that!" Hermione reasoned. "He would never do anything to disrespect Ginny, or any other girl for that matter."
Ron plopped down glumly by the pool.
"I know," he mumbled, resting his head in his hands and staring down into the water.
They were silent after that and Hermione closed her eyes and continued taking advantage of the little sun that Britain got. She was hoping for a slight tan. She was so caught up with what she was doing that she didn't hear Ron get into the pool and was completely caught off guard when he flipped the raft.
"Oh, you are so going to get it," she told him, playfully splashing him as she did so.
"Sorry, sorry, sorry..." Harry uttered as the toast popped up burnt and the frying pan containing the eggs continued to billow smoke.
Ginny didn't seem to mind. As a matter of fact, she was laughing.
"It's okay," she told Harry as he dumped the burnt breakfast into the trashcan. "I can't cook either."
Harry cleaned off the frying pan and looked apologetically at Ginny.
"How about we go out for breakfast?" he asked, leading her to the front door. "Have you heard of Mc. Donald's before?"
"No," Ginny told him.
"Well they have this excellent thing called and Egg Mc. Muffin."
Several hours (and many Egg Mc. Muffins) later Harry and Ginny found themselves wandering aimlessly through they mall. They walked into The Gap so Harry could show Ginny a bunch of ordinary clothes that were priced too high. They were about to leave when they heard a familiar drawling voice over by men's khakis.
"Seriously, Goyle, do these make my butt look big or what?"
"Yes they do Draco, but don't worry, Goyle will still love you," Harry called out, taking Ginny's hand and leading her over to the Slytherins.
Whatever color Draco had in his face drained as he saw his some of his least favorite people in the world. For a minute he was speechless, then he jabbed a finger at Harry and told him that he'd kill him if he uttered a word of this to anyone. Draco then proceeded to run out of the store, ignoring the security alarms going off as he did so.
Author's Note: I am finished! Hopefully this means that I'll be able to write some of my other fics as well. I would just like to thank Christina for giving me the idea of Harry burning breakfast. Classic. Toodles!
