"Once Upon A Narcissus"
by
C. "Sparky" Read

Chapter Four

"There he is; there he is!"

"Gimme the Eye, Clotho, you've been hogging it all afternoon!"

"No no, give it to me, I want to see the happy groom!"

Hades paused to lightly tap his forehead against the doorway.

Clotho yelped as Lachesis thumped her on the back of the head, pilfering the Eye. "Oooh, sisters," Lachesis warned the other Fates, "he looks like he may be getting cold feet."

All three Fates snickered at the thought of the fiery God of the Underworld ever having cold anything.

"All right, all right, ha ha, sure, I'm a big joke now, I get it." Hades stepped, scowling, into the chamber. "I suppose you know everything about what's been going on, as usual."

The Fates bobbed their heads gleefully.

"Then can you gals tell me, please," Hades began, "is this whole betrothal thing for real? Am I really about to marry Little Miss Weirdo out there?"

Atropos beamed. "He wants the future, give me the Eye," she said smugly. Lachesis grudgingly handed the Eye to her sister.

Atropos weighed the Eye in her hand a moment before putting it in its socket. She looked Hades up and down thoughtfully.

"Well?" asked the Lord of the Dead impatiently.

"...Did you get a new skull brooch?" Atropos asked.

Hades rolled his eyes. "I'd like to have an answer here, you mind?"

"Oh all right," sulked the short Fate. "Hmm, hmm...yes..." she mused, stroking her chin while gazing at Hades.

"Yes? Yes what? Yes I'm going to marry her?"

"No, no," answered Atropos, "yes, I'm certain that's a new brooch."

"Give me the Eye, I want to see!" cried Clotho.

"Oh what would you know about accessorizing?" sniffed Lachesis snootily, "you think green and orange go together!"

"Of course they do!" retaliated Clotho, raising her voice. "You're always so cynical!"

"She is, isn't she?" Atropos agreed.

"Well you're always grabby about the Eye!" Lachesis returned to Clotho.

Atropos agreed again.

"Well I'm the oldest!"

"Well Mother gave it to all of us!"

"I was her favorite, you know," Atropos pointed out. The other two stopped blindly swiping their bony fists at eachother to turn their faces towards her. Before they could begin a new argument, and before Hades could add his own red-hot opinion, they were all rudely interrupted by loud raucous laughter from the doorway.

"You throw some parties, you know that?" Poseidon said loudly, wiping his eyes. "...I told you to get on out of here," he told Strife, who was growling and clinging to his left leg. He pried her off with his trident and smacked her out of the room like a croquet ball.

"...Sy," began Hades sullenly, "so nice of you to...come back."

"Yeah well," answered Poseidon, taking a seat on a convenient rock, "I figured, hey, I'm practically family now! Eh...'Dad'?" He winked. Hades made a muffled gagging sound.

Clotho and Lachesis crept up behind Atropos and wrestled the Eye from her. Lachesis elbowed Clotho in the nose and managed to gain possession of the Eye first.

"Why, its the father of the bride!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together. "Ooh, you must be so happy to be giving your daughter away to our Hades!"

"Why, yes I--"

Clotho grabbed the Eye. "Gimme that--This is so exciting!" she bubbled. "A wedding! Of course we'll be there to give the happy couple their first official fortune!"

"...And to provide counseling five minutes after the ceremony," added Atropos.

The three Fates snickered.

"Thank you, ladies," said Hades sourly.

"Welcome," chorused the Fates, and they filed out of the room.

"Now those gals," stated Poseidon after they had gone, "are a three-woman party--eh, Pop?"

Hades was disgusted. "Will you knock it off with the paternal thing?" he practically pleaded. "Its too weird."

"Whatever you say," answered Poseidon, shrugging. He propped his feet up on a short rock. "Hey, you got any nuts, pretzels, something? This may be the Land of the Dead, but that doesn't mean we have to let the party die, do we? Huh? Do we?"

Hades shrugged. "Why stop now?"

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"So...what do you...do...down here?" asked Persephone, hopping from rock to rock.

"Um...ah...Maybe--Maybe you shouldn't do that," wavered Panic, who was hovering close to the goddess and chewing his nails nervously.

"Yeah," Pain had to agree from the shore, "the boss would kill us if you fell into the River Styx."

"Oh, don't be a poop," Sephie answered, twirling on a large boulder that jutted out of the River. "No wonder this place is so boring." She sat down and pulled her knees close to her chest. "So..." she pressed, "what are your jobs?"

Pain shrugged. "Just about anything Hades doesn't want to do himself, I guess," he answered.

"Yeah," agreed Panic lighting on the boulder next to Persephone, "we're like, jacks of all trades."

Persephone arched an eyebrow. "And masters of...what?"

Pain and Panic were silent.

"Uh huh." Persephone beckoned to Pain. "Come over here; I'm tired of shouting."

Pain frowned. "We shouldn't be over here at all," he replied. "We're gonna get in trouble."

Sephie shrugged. "Fine then, be by yourself." She turned to Panic, who was shyly lingering by her hip, and scratched him between the horns. "We don't care."

Pain folded his arms in disapproval. "Panic..!" he warned.

Panic grinned and shrugged.

Persephone looked up. "There's a boat!" she exclaimed, pointing.

"Hm?" said Panic. He glanced over to where the goddess was pointing. "That's Charon," he told Sephie. "He's like...Hades' personal taxi driver."

Persephone jumped up, nearly sending Panic tumbling into the River of Souls. "Let's take a ride!"

Pain's mouth hung open. "Are you nuts?!" he demanded. "Hades would par-broil us for sure!"

"There you go being a drag again," chided the goddess, keeping her eye on the approaching vessel. "Um...how do we get him over here...Hey! Yoo-hoo! Charon! Over here!"

Charon was evidently very surprised to see a young goddess hopping up and down in the middle of the River Styx, and he guided the boat over to her hurriedly.

"Oh, thank you," gushed Sephie, beaming, as the boat bumped up against her boulder. "Oh, but, I'm frightened--could you help me down...please?" she implored, practically batting her eyes.

Pain humphed loudly.

Charon lay his pole down in the bottom of the boat, and put one foot on the boulder to steady the craft. He took hold of Persephone's hands and began to gently pull her down into the vessel.

"Oh, no!" cried Sephie exaggeratedly, holding back. "It--It's too wobbly! Could you get up here and help me down?"

Charon nodded silently. He stepped up onto the boulder, and assisted Persephone into the boat.

"Thank you," chirped the goddess. And before Charon could reboard she had picked up the pole and pushed off.

"Agh!" shrieked Pain, running along the shore. "You're a hijacker! Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Nope," answered Sephie, "but this seems easy enough." She turned around. "Bye!" she called to the stranded Charon. "I'll try to remember to send someone to pick you up later."

Panic looked up at the dumbfounded Charon, who looked back down at him. The blue imp shrugged and flew off after the boat. He landed at the prow. "This is great!" he enthused. "I always wanted to ride in this thing! Come on, Pain!"

"Yeah come on!" shouted Sephie. "We're going to leave you behind!"

"Oh..." fretted Pain, flapping along the shore. "We're going to be drywall by morning..." And he joined the crew reluctantly.