"Once Upon A Narcissus"
by
C. "Sparky" Read

Chapter Seven

I just know I'm gonna get in trouble for this someday, thought Pain, reaching for another apple, but you just can't find food this good lying around the Underworld.

It had been no easy trick for Pain to find a way into Hades' sealed pantry--there was only one crack and it was rather narrow--but the imp had done it, and now he came here on occasion to rest and for a snack.

He hadn't, however, needed to escape to the Pantry very often for the past seven months. With Persephone around, Hades very seldom ordered the imps around, and even when he did, it was only to warn them to stay out of his way.

Pain chewed on a fig. Hades had changed lately, he decided. He didn't seem to get angry quite as often or as easily--in fact, when Persephone was around, he was almost...relaxed. The God of the Underworld actually seemed to enjoy keeping company with Persephone, and the two conversed now without any hostility at all. The rest of the time, when Persephone was off exploring the caverns, Hades preferred to be alone. This left the imps with a lot of free time, with which they didn't know what to do--for the first time, a few of them were actually beginning to develop hobbies.

All this despite the fact that 'business' had been booming. Due to Demeter's neglect of the Earth, the casualty rate of the mortals had increased, making more work for Hades. But much to everyone's surprise, Persephone, who had begun to get bored, actually volunteered to take on some of the workload. In all, the chaotic betrothal had turned into a fortuitous engagement, and promised to become a prosperous union.

Deciding it was time to lay off before the day's losses became obvious, Pain grabbed the only thing he knew he could get out of the room--a few pomegranate seeds--and, turning back into a cockroach, squeezed back through the crack to make sure Hades wasn't looking for him. Lots of free time or not, he wasn't about to risk that Persephone wouldn't be nearby to prevent Hades from toasting him.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"So...you're not in trouble?"

Persephone shook her head and smiled. "No, not really," she told Cyane's image. "I got engaged." And she held up her left hand, indicating the platinum ring.

"Oooh," said Cyane, nodding a little. "So...so he's not that bad?"

Persephone shook her head. "He turned you back to normal, didn't he?"

"Well...yeah."

"And the Fates let me use their Reflecting Pool to talk to you."

"Yeah," repeated the nymph, nodding again.

"So don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

Cyane hugged herself. "But Sephie," she said, "it's been so cold. Your mom has been so upset she told Helios to fly his chariot higher so the Earth can't get warm. And sometimes the Pool gets so cold it turns hard."

Persephone looked at her hands. "I wish Mother would understand," she murmured. "I changed my mind--I'd like to get married."

"Even to him?"

"So he's got a temper." Persephone sighed a little. "At least he's interesting."

Cyane's image in the Reflecting Pool rippled as she shrugged. "Well obviously your mom doesn't care--I hear that the mortals are starving!"

"They're not the only ones."

"Hm?"

Now Persephone shrugged. "I haven't eaten since I came here," she explained.

"What?" gasped Cyane, her eyes widening. "Won't Hades give you any food?"

Persephone nodded. "Every day. But I can't eat those grubs and worms--they're too fattening. I need to lose weight for the wedding."

"So you're not going to eat for a whole year??"

"Basically. It's only for another couple of months, anyways."

Cyane exhaled. "You goddesses are so weird!" she exclaimed.

Persephone grinned. "So," she began, "how are things on the island?"

"Ugh," said Cyane, rolling her eyes. "Cal is being such a pervert. He keeps offering to 'help us keep warm'. He says we should share our body heat."

"Ew!" cried Persephone. "Who would want to touch him?"

Cyane laughed. "Noone," she said simply. "Anyways, it's pretty cold out here, I've got to go."

"All right." Persephone stood up. "Oh--" she said quickly before Cyane could run away from the Pool, "Will you be my maid of honor?"

"Oh, yes!" cried Cyane happily. "I will! Sephie, I'm so glad you're not in trouble!" And with that the nymph skipped off across the barren field. Neither Persephone nor the nymph noticed Ascalaphus, hiding in the long yellow grass near the Pool. As soon as Cyane was out of sight, he crept nearer to the Reflecting Pool, watching Persephone curiously.

Persephone sat back down and clasped her knees to her chest. "Drat," she muttered. Mentioning food had made her uncomfortably hungry, again. Maybe it was a kind of stupid idea, she thought, not eating all year. But she had told Hades of her intention not to eat, and she didn't want him to catch her eating now and tease her for being soft-willed. She sighed.

"You bored too?"

Persephone looked around at Pain, who had wandered into the chamber carrying a small piece of folded paper. "Anything good on the Pool?"

The goddess shook her head. "Just the same old things," she answered. "Anyways I'm afraid to look around too much, I might see food."

Pain frowned. "Something wrong with food?"

"Yeah--I can't have any." Persephone held her stomach. "And I'm starving!"

Pain scratched his head. "Oh yeah, you're on that weird nondiet thing. Well, have it your way, I--"

Persephone grabbed the imp, a wild look in her eye. "I've got to have some food," she growled. "You've got to help me!"

"Woah, woah!" cried Pain, surprised. "Goddess is losing it--Okay, okay, no problem, I've got you covered." He held out the piece of paper and waved it under Persephone's nose. "Let's not go postal, now."

Persephone crossed her eyes at the paper, then released Pain into her lap and grabbed the paper before it could flutter to the ground. "What is it?" She unfolded the paper. "Oh, pomegranate seeds! Six of them! Where did you get them--Never mind," she interrupted the hedgy answer, "just, thank you." She tipped the seeds into her mouth using the paper to avoid staining her fingers. "You're a life saver, Pain!" she cried, and kissed the imp.

"Hey!" yelled Pain, attempting to twist free. "Cut it out! Sheesh, that's the last time I do anything for you...Leggo!" And he struggled so violently that Persephone could no longer hang on and he tumbled right into the Reflecting Pool. Cal, startled, ran off, again unseen.

Persephone giggled. "Aw...are you okay?"

Pain floundered in the shallow water. "Ow--no," he grumped, rubbing his head where he had hit it on a rock under the water's surface. "I'm very rarely okay." He hauled himself out of the Pool and shook himself off. "And you're no help."

The goddess had fallen in too good a mood by the seeds to be put off by Pain's usual bad attitude towards her. "Aw," she said again. She snatched him back up and began rubbing his head.

"Hey!" yelled Pain. "Don't you ever quit?"

"No."

Pain struggled for a few moments more, then resolutely allowed the goddess to pet him.

"There, now isn't that better?"

"Uhm..."

"You're welcome."

At that moment the three Fates came hobbling into the chamber.

"Persephone, child," called Atropos, "you must come at once!"

Persephone released Pain, who crept off. "Why?" she asked, standing up.

"Oh, you'll never guess!" cried Clotho. "Go on, guess!"

"Leave the poor child be," grumped Lachesis, "she must have a hard enough time down here without you and your silly guessing games."

Clotho pouted. "They are not silly. Are they, Atropos?"

"Yes they are now shut up." Atropos touched Persephone on the arm. "Come with us," she said gravely.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"It's always nice to see you," Hades sighed, showing Hermes into the War Room. "Have a seat?"

Hermes looked at the rock Hades gestured towards. It was on fire. "No thanks man," he said. "I'm here on business, you know?"

"Suit yourself." Hades flopped down into his large armchair. "So Zeus can't get off his duff long enough to see me himself, eh?" he muttered. "It's not surprising, really--I mean, I'm not surprised, he never comes down here." Hades drummed his fingers on the chair. "This is really cutting into my work schedule."

"Ah, Persephone!" Hermes fluttered over to the goddess, who had just entered, followed by the Fates. "I dig the new look. Very...Underworldian, you know--"

"Can it," seethed Hades, standing up. "Okay, she's here, now what is this all about?"

"You, my irate friend, have been subpoenaed," announced the messenger god proudly, swooping over to Hades and stuffing a scroll down the front of the Lord of the Dead's tunic. "Don't be late; reception afterwords. And here's one for you too, babe," he added, handing another scroll to Persephone. "And," Hermes continued, throwing an armful of scrolls into the air, "here's summons for all witnesses involved. Later!" And with a casual salute the god flew out of the chamber.