Flashback to Now
Chapter 18
"So..." Sully said, not bothering to finish his sentence, figuring Liz knew what he was going to ask about. Both were sitting in his car at a red light, on their way to the halfway house to see Al. Liz, in fact, did know, but decided to play dumb, "so?" "You know," Sully said simply, chuckling. "I do?" Liz asked innocently. "Yes, you do," Sully said, "You know I want to know about the date." Liz smiled coyly, and said, "yes, yes I do know." Sully rolled his eyes, "so?" "So what?"
Liz had never gotten around to telling Sully how the date went, she played dumb or coy the entire way to the house and generally drove Sully crazy. It was like old times. But Liz felt her heart lurch into her throat as they pulled into a parking space. Suddenly she was a bundle of nerves, and felt like running back to the safety of her apartment. Away from here, away from her father. Would he remember her? Would he care? Would he threaten her? Hit her? Yell at her? A million thoughts were running through Liz's head and she suddenly wanted to ralph.
Sully was watching Liz, seeing her inner struggle. He wondered if she would make it into the halfway house, or run out of the sliding automatic doors and just keep running. They walked up to the front desk, and Liz just shook her head at him. Sully took that as a signal to talk for her. "We came to see Al, I called earlier today," Sully stated. The nurse behind the desk, obviously preoccupied with her Cosmo magazine, just nodded and walked them quickly to the door. Without a word, she returned to her desk and her magazine. "You ready?" Sully asked Liz, squeezing her shoulder. "Yeah, I guess," Liz sighed. "Ready as I'll ever be."
The man in front of her was pathetic. He was slumped over in his easy chair. Pale. Skinny. Red and pale blue veins showed all over his body, his arms, his face, the skinny white legs sticking out of the large cotton shorts. "Do you know who I am?" Liz asked quietly, not knowing what to say. "Who are you?" He asked, and before she could respond, "you're so beautiful. I knew many beautiful women. I married one, but she left. So beautiful, so beautiful and you look like someone I once knew. It's uncanny." Once he was done with his rambling, Liz took a deep breathe before saying, "hi Dad, it's me Liz." Al sat straight up, his shoulders still curved over. "Liz? My Elizabeth?" Sully stood silently, standing far behind Liz, near the doorway, not wanting to intrude but wanting to be there to protect her. "Yes," Liz said quietly. The man suddenly broke down, crying. His breathing became ragged, he was gasping for air between sobs, and Liz was suddenly frightened by his pathetic nature. Suddenly, he wasn't so big, so scary. She had no fear of him other than a fear of him dying right in front of her, she pitied him. "Oh, oh my Elizabeth. I am so sorry," he began through his sobs. "I loved you, I really did love you. I couldn't take care of you, I hit you. I tried to kill you twice, I know I did. I know what I did." His voice grew smaller as his sobs increased in their ferocity. Liz didn't know how he could even speak, but he kept going, and Liz suddenly wished he would stop. "I love you, I love you still. I can't believe what I did, it was the drinking. I can't drink anymore. It hurts, Elizabeth. It hurts that I hurt you, that I couldn't be better for you. I kill myself every day more and more thinking of what I did, I kill myself from the inside out. And it hurts, it hurts more and more each day. But you're here now, I can stop hurting. I can, can't I?" He suddenly staggered to his feet, nearly falling, and reaching out to hug Liz. Liz gasped, nearly in disgust as his cold fingers brushed her arm. She stepped back, suddenly disgusted by the creature that stood in front of her. This wasn't her father, this wasn't a man. It was a broken thing, and she suddenly pitied it so much it hurt. And suddenly she couldn't breathe anymore, she had to leave. She had to get out, and that she did. She turned and ran, Sully following. As she ran out of the doorway of Al's apartment, she heard him moan and his sobs increase even more as he collapsed onto his bed, wailing "she hates me, she hates me. My baby daughter hates me." Liz couldn't believe she had done this, gone to see him. She believed she had wrecked him even more. Maybe she shouldn't have said who she was, just acted like a nice person who came out of charity to visit. But she had wanted to see, and now knew her mistake. She slammed the car door and cried silently all the way back to her apartment.
