Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine...Also, the flash back is not mine, I got it from the beginning of "Becoming 1" on Buffy... I've got the exact words and everything...
Summery: Angelus takes Angel on a mind trip...To the past...to the day he was turned
PS: Everytime you see a ******** parting passages it's because I'm moving between time. In other words I'm going from present to past or vice versa...
If you see a ~ I am adding what Angel sees or thinks while he is watching the images, there will be another one when the thought or whatever it is is finished...
Eating from the inside out
Chapter 5: "Show me your world..."
Angel's clenched his jaw...
"What are you doing Angelus?" Angel croaked "What are you getting at?"
" Watch!" Angelus was obviously not going to drop the Irish accent anytime soon
"I know what's going to happen skip it and get down to business!"
"Sorry lad, yer just goin' ta have ta watch...Ye need ta see this..."
Angel flinched as he watched the dark cobled street and the alleyway in the distance, then his eyes came to settle on the wooden pub door. He shuddered and it began...
************************************************************************
Galway, 1753
The pub door flung open and a man flew out, he stumbled out trying not to fall; after him a second man was pushed out by a yelling bartender. When the two were out the bartender turned around and marched back indoors slamming the wooden door behind him. The second man turned and ran to the door while bagging on it he shouted:
"We'll come back when we've a little more money...Keep the girls warm."
Turning he turned to his falling friend and helped him to stand then they walked together away from the bar the second man spoke to the first:
"Come on, we'll sneak in and steel some of me father's silver...He'll never miss it! He it's with his hands, the pig..."
It seemed, however, his friend had something else in mind, he staggered a few steps back, then forward. Liam however did not seem to notice, his eyes were fixed elsewhere in the distance...There was something there, something he hadn't seen yet but knew that he wanted to see. His friend continued staggering but lost the fight and pasted out cold as he fell... That got Liam's attention. He looked at his fallen friend and gestured at him
"Why don't ya rest right here." It was more of a statement then it was sentence. But then Liam felt something and he looked up, his eyes roaming the area. Then he saw her.
*********************************************************************
Angel's knees were week, Angelus was snickering, knowing very well the hate Angel was going through. The image before him paused. Angelus turned to him
"You know what's going to happen...isn't it just lovely?" Angel swallowed, guilt and horror crawling in and on him like starving scarabs.
"Stop this!" he ordered
Angelus never stopped snickering "Sorry lad, the games 'ave already begun..."
************************************************************************
She was wearing a white dress with pink lacing. Her golden hair was pinned up while strands of it fell fluidly down her back. Her figure was flawless and her skin pale; she stood with her head slightly turned so that he could see her pink cheeks and the beauty of her face. She stood in the beginning of and alleyway, her surrounding was dark and only a lantern placed above her lit her form.
Liam was taken by her immediately, expensive clothes let him know that she was by all means someone of high standing. What really got him was that she was standing in one of the most infamous streets in that part of town. The woman swayed her hips as if calling him then moved forward.
Liam followed her into the alley his feet moving as fast and as steadily as they could in his drunken state. Reaching the alleyway he halted, she was a little further in the distance but had not strayed too far. She had obviously wanted him to follow.
Liam turned to face the lady who had her back towards him. His feet still slightly wobbly and his footing unsure he spoke:
"So, I'd ask meself, What is a lady of yer station doin' alone in an alley with the reputation that this one has?"
The lady turned "Maybe she's lonely..."
"In that case I'd offer meself as escort to protect ya from harm" he continued with an insinuating voice "and to wile away the dull hours"
The lady smiled at him "You're very gracious."
"Well, that's often been said..." Liam lied
"Are you certain you're up to the challenge?" she asked sweetly her silky voice rapping him up.
"M'lady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest days work, there is no challenge I'm not prepared to face..."
************************************************************************
The pictures stopped in front of Angel and he turned to look at Angelus, his knees had gone week.
"Stop this game! Stop!" Angel knew it was not worth it. There was no way in hell Angelus would let go...No way!
"Ah, Angel... See, when I was taking a stroll down memory lane I fell in love with this particular memory...Not only because it was the first time that I met Darla but also because it was the first time that YOU Soulboy met her as well..."
Angel was confused...Angelus couldn't have met Darla then because he wasn't part of Liam at the time. Angelus came to be after Liam's death and his soul, Angel in sorts, left his body; the demon took over, Angelus was born and then he met Darla...
"That's bullshit Angelus! You didn't meet Darla until after Liam died! Until after Darla killed me, him-us- and put gave me her blood!"
"That's where you're wrong...You and I were one and the same at this time!"
"More crap Angelus! You are lying! That is a flat out lie!"
Angelus snorted "You and I both know Angel, I don't lie...I'm a terrible liar. Darla knew it and so do you! "
Angel looked at him, he knew it was true Angelus didn't know how to lie. He would, or rather he * could * only tell truths that were poisoned and twisted by his vision.
"So this is just twisted your twisted idea of truth!" This is ridiculous
Angelus laughed '"Oh, you do wish that don't you! But this is not twisted it's the truth...As truthful as it comes... I don't want to drag this out... I want you to see the truth in Liam's eyes...In what used to be our eyes... A human, a mortal man is not just made up of a soul...If man were purely soul, he would be perfect...It says so in the bible... Man is made up of soul and sin..." Angelus smiled "Sin, at that particular time was me...You pretty boy were his soul..."
"Where are you going with this"
"Bare with me speedo! I'm trying to get this through that head of yours. You were his good part, I was his evil part...That sin was my matrix...Darla's blood just gave that sin the means to come to it's potential...Don't you see?"
Angel shook his head "That's not tr-"
"It's not true? NOT TRUE? So a human must be perfect! That's why so many times humans turn their back on each other...That's why there's enough murder and mayhem caused by human hands to keep the many devils in hell so fucking amused! Because they are so damn perfect!"
Angelus watched him with feral eyes, his lips drawn back baring his fangs in anger. Angel did not answer.
"Now that we've got that cleared-"
"I haven't agreed!" Angel retorted but he began feeling sicker then before
"You don't have to agree! It's a fact...But then you'll see it in due time... Now some peoples' souls are simply better welded, stronger then others. Those souls are more capable of keeping their 'sin' at bay...While others can not... Your soul was one of the weak ones...Your soul gave in to it's sin, to it's inner demon, and in the end wanted exactly what it's inner demon wanted... it gave up it's existence, gave up it's body to be led completely by me! Most souls fight to the very end, but yours excepted it...No arguments."
"Then why is my soul so strong now? If everything you are saying is true, which I don't believe it is, why have I changed?"
"Time my friend, time is you're deepest ally, it gives you experience- "
"But I wasn't in this body according to you...'
"No your soul was not but your mind was... See we share the same mind. It comes with the whole body package. So your conscience grew though you, the soul, was not there...It was pumped but with no output... sort of like a revving car with no driver, the gas is feeding it, it's ready to go but it can't get anywhere cause there is nothing to floor it! Nothing to steer it...That's why it hurts...That's why you, the soul, became stronger when you were re-inserted. You had the past to feel pain, seen the torture in the world on it's own and the torture you put in yourself...Motivation...the gas was floored..."
Angel shook his head, Angelus shrugged...
"Anyway I often wondered when you, the soul, at the time you were faced with Darla, gave in to her. If you had actually realized that she was wrong, that something was awfully terribly wrong! You did...It was all written in Liam's eyes. All of it and he just let go...You just let go, and gave everything up...TO ME!"
************************************************************************
Liam had approached her and was now only inches apart from her. Their bodies so close that it had become inappropriate.The woman did not step back or step forward she stood there and stared back at him
~ Angel was watching Liam's eyes as the human approached Darla, he could see a glow there. Something bright, filled with wonder. ~
He placed his hands on her cheek, caressing her face with his thumb.
"Oh, but you're a pretty thing. Where are ya from?" Liam asked
"Around, everywhere..."
~ He watched the glow brightened, and grow and grow until it was illuminant like a sun in the human's eyes. ~
"I've never been anywhere meself, I've always wanted to see the world but"
~Angel remembered the need that the human had...The need to see the world, to know so much. To see so much... He remembered, but he also remembered the fact that Liam knew he had no chance of ever seeing the world. Liam knew that he would die in Ireland like his ancestors before him...As this realization came over the man, Angel saw Liam let go; the light in his eyes blinking out into nothing. The sun vanished, without leaving a single trace...The soul had let go...He had let go...but then: ~
Darla smiled "I could show you.."
~ Hope blinked into his eyes again, but it was not hope lit by the sun...Not at all~
"Could you then?" Liam questioned
~ Before Liam answered, another realization dawned deep within the human's eyes. The flash of the truth that there was something unnatural about this woman... ~
"Things you've never seen, never even heard of" she continued
~ Something terribly horribly wrong...It glittered in her cold beautiful eyes, it glittered in her white flashing smile...Something evil, something monstrous...~
"Sounds exitin'" Liam answered
"It is...And frightening" Darla added
~ Angel saw that Liam just didn't care...Liam couldn't have cared less... It had all gone from him nothing was left... Not a bit... Not anymore. ~
"I'm not afraid, show me... Show me your world..."
"Close your eyes" Darla whispered
Liam obeyed, he shut his eyes and Darla morphed in front of him then revealing her fangs she sunk them into his neck and gave to Liam what the all the good in the world could not give to him... And took from him his only hope of salvation in the world...
As he died Liam fell to his knees...Darla made a shallow cut just above the revealed tops of her breasts from wish Liam tasted, for the first time, the demon's means and meaning of existence.
Summery: Angelus takes Angel on a mind trip...To the past...to the day he was turned
PS: Everytime you see a ******** parting passages it's because I'm moving between time. In other words I'm going from present to past or vice versa...
If you see a ~ I am adding what Angel sees or thinks while he is watching the images, there will be another one when the thought or whatever it is is finished...
Eating from the inside out
Chapter 5: "Show me your world..."
Angel's clenched his jaw...
"What are you doing Angelus?" Angel croaked "What are you getting at?"
" Watch!" Angelus was obviously not going to drop the Irish accent anytime soon
"I know what's going to happen skip it and get down to business!"
"Sorry lad, yer just goin' ta have ta watch...Ye need ta see this..."
Angel flinched as he watched the dark cobled street and the alleyway in the distance, then his eyes came to settle on the wooden pub door. He shuddered and it began...
************************************************************************
Galway, 1753
The pub door flung open and a man flew out, he stumbled out trying not to fall; after him a second man was pushed out by a yelling bartender. When the two were out the bartender turned around and marched back indoors slamming the wooden door behind him. The second man turned and ran to the door while bagging on it he shouted:
"We'll come back when we've a little more money...Keep the girls warm."
Turning he turned to his falling friend and helped him to stand then they walked together away from the bar the second man spoke to the first:
"Come on, we'll sneak in and steel some of me father's silver...He'll never miss it! He it's with his hands, the pig..."
It seemed, however, his friend had something else in mind, he staggered a few steps back, then forward. Liam however did not seem to notice, his eyes were fixed elsewhere in the distance...There was something there, something he hadn't seen yet but knew that he wanted to see. His friend continued staggering but lost the fight and pasted out cold as he fell... That got Liam's attention. He looked at his fallen friend and gestured at him
"Why don't ya rest right here." It was more of a statement then it was sentence. But then Liam felt something and he looked up, his eyes roaming the area. Then he saw her.
*********************************************************************
Angel's knees were week, Angelus was snickering, knowing very well the hate Angel was going through. The image before him paused. Angelus turned to him
"You know what's going to happen...isn't it just lovely?" Angel swallowed, guilt and horror crawling in and on him like starving scarabs.
"Stop this!" he ordered
Angelus never stopped snickering "Sorry lad, the games 'ave already begun..."
************************************************************************
She was wearing a white dress with pink lacing. Her golden hair was pinned up while strands of it fell fluidly down her back. Her figure was flawless and her skin pale; she stood with her head slightly turned so that he could see her pink cheeks and the beauty of her face. She stood in the beginning of and alleyway, her surrounding was dark and only a lantern placed above her lit her form.
Liam was taken by her immediately, expensive clothes let him know that she was by all means someone of high standing. What really got him was that she was standing in one of the most infamous streets in that part of town. The woman swayed her hips as if calling him then moved forward.
Liam followed her into the alley his feet moving as fast and as steadily as they could in his drunken state. Reaching the alleyway he halted, she was a little further in the distance but had not strayed too far. She had obviously wanted him to follow.
Liam turned to face the lady who had her back towards him. His feet still slightly wobbly and his footing unsure he spoke:
"So, I'd ask meself, What is a lady of yer station doin' alone in an alley with the reputation that this one has?"
The lady turned "Maybe she's lonely..."
"In that case I'd offer meself as escort to protect ya from harm" he continued with an insinuating voice "and to wile away the dull hours"
The lady smiled at him "You're very gracious."
"Well, that's often been said..." Liam lied
"Are you certain you're up to the challenge?" she asked sweetly her silky voice rapping him up.
"M'lady, you'll find that with the exception of an honest days work, there is no challenge I'm not prepared to face..."
************************************************************************
The pictures stopped in front of Angel and he turned to look at Angelus, his knees had gone week.
"Stop this game! Stop!" Angel knew it was not worth it. There was no way in hell Angelus would let go...No way!
"Ah, Angel... See, when I was taking a stroll down memory lane I fell in love with this particular memory...Not only because it was the first time that I met Darla but also because it was the first time that YOU Soulboy met her as well..."
Angel was confused...Angelus couldn't have met Darla then because he wasn't part of Liam at the time. Angelus came to be after Liam's death and his soul, Angel in sorts, left his body; the demon took over, Angelus was born and then he met Darla...
"That's bullshit Angelus! You didn't meet Darla until after Liam died! Until after Darla killed me, him-us- and put gave me her blood!"
"That's where you're wrong...You and I were one and the same at this time!"
"More crap Angelus! You are lying! That is a flat out lie!"
Angelus snorted "You and I both know Angel, I don't lie...I'm a terrible liar. Darla knew it and so do you! "
Angel looked at him, he knew it was true Angelus didn't know how to lie. He would, or rather he * could * only tell truths that were poisoned and twisted by his vision.
"So this is just twisted your twisted idea of truth!" This is ridiculous
Angelus laughed '"Oh, you do wish that don't you! But this is not twisted it's the truth...As truthful as it comes... I don't want to drag this out... I want you to see the truth in Liam's eyes...In what used to be our eyes... A human, a mortal man is not just made up of a soul...If man were purely soul, he would be perfect...It says so in the bible... Man is made up of soul and sin..." Angelus smiled "Sin, at that particular time was me...You pretty boy were his soul..."
"Where are you going with this"
"Bare with me speedo! I'm trying to get this through that head of yours. You were his good part, I was his evil part...That sin was my matrix...Darla's blood just gave that sin the means to come to it's potential...Don't you see?"
Angel shook his head "That's not tr-"
"It's not true? NOT TRUE? So a human must be perfect! That's why so many times humans turn their back on each other...That's why there's enough murder and mayhem caused by human hands to keep the many devils in hell so fucking amused! Because they are so damn perfect!"
Angelus watched him with feral eyes, his lips drawn back baring his fangs in anger. Angel did not answer.
"Now that we've got that cleared-"
"I haven't agreed!" Angel retorted but he began feeling sicker then before
"You don't have to agree! It's a fact...But then you'll see it in due time... Now some peoples' souls are simply better welded, stronger then others. Those souls are more capable of keeping their 'sin' at bay...While others can not... Your soul was one of the weak ones...Your soul gave in to it's sin, to it's inner demon, and in the end wanted exactly what it's inner demon wanted... it gave up it's existence, gave up it's body to be led completely by me! Most souls fight to the very end, but yours excepted it...No arguments."
"Then why is my soul so strong now? If everything you are saying is true, which I don't believe it is, why have I changed?"
"Time my friend, time is you're deepest ally, it gives you experience- "
"But I wasn't in this body according to you...'
"No your soul was not but your mind was... See we share the same mind. It comes with the whole body package. So your conscience grew though you, the soul, was not there...It was pumped but with no output... sort of like a revving car with no driver, the gas is feeding it, it's ready to go but it can't get anywhere cause there is nothing to floor it! Nothing to steer it...That's why it hurts...That's why you, the soul, became stronger when you were re-inserted. You had the past to feel pain, seen the torture in the world on it's own and the torture you put in yourself...Motivation...the gas was floored..."
Angel shook his head, Angelus shrugged...
"Anyway I often wondered when you, the soul, at the time you were faced with Darla, gave in to her. If you had actually realized that she was wrong, that something was awfully terribly wrong! You did...It was all written in Liam's eyes. All of it and he just let go...You just let go, and gave everything up...TO ME!"
************************************************************************
Liam had approached her and was now only inches apart from her. Their bodies so close that it had become inappropriate.The woman did not step back or step forward she stood there and stared back at him
~ Angel was watching Liam's eyes as the human approached Darla, he could see a glow there. Something bright, filled with wonder. ~
He placed his hands on her cheek, caressing her face with his thumb.
"Oh, but you're a pretty thing. Where are ya from?" Liam asked
"Around, everywhere..."
~ He watched the glow brightened, and grow and grow until it was illuminant like a sun in the human's eyes. ~
"I've never been anywhere meself, I've always wanted to see the world but"
~Angel remembered the need that the human had...The need to see the world, to know so much. To see so much... He remembered, but he also remembered the fact that Liam knew he had no chance of ever seeing the world. Liam knew that he would die in Ireland like his ancestors before him...As this realization came over the man, Angel saw Liam let go; the light in his eyes blinking out into nothing. The sun vanished, without leaving a single trace...The soul had let go...He had let go...but then: ~
Darla smiled "I could show you.."
~ Hope blinked into his eyes again, but it was not hope lit by the sun...Not at all~
"Could you then?" Liam questioned
~ Before Liam answered, another realization dawned deep within the human's eyes. The flash of the truth that there was something unnatural about this woman... ~
"Things you've never seen, never even heard of" she continued
~ Something terribly horribly wrong...It glittered in her cold beautiful eyes, it glittered in her white flashing smile...Something evil, something monstrous...~
"Sounds exitin'" Liam answered
"It is...And frightening" Darla added
~ Angel saw that Liam just didn't care...Liam couldn't have cared less... It had all gone from him nothing was left... Not a bit... Not anymore. ~
"I'm not afraid, show me... Show me your world..."
"Close your eyes" Darla whispered
Liam obeyed, he shut his eyes and Darla morphed in front of him then revealing her fangs she sunk them into his neck and gave to Liam what the all the good in the world could not give to him... And took from him his only hope of salvation in the world...
As he died Liam fell to his knees...Darla made a shallow cut just above the revealed tops of her breasts from wish Liam tasted, for the first time, the demon's means and meaning of existence.
