She pulled back to look at him.  He was singing and smiling at her.  Soon he stopped singing, noticing the odd looks she was giving him.  He had never serenaded her before.  "We're dancing around each other, Irina.  Every time we come close to a break-through, we start a fight and avoid doing what we should.  If we can't make our minds up, we'll both end up broken hearted.  And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be able to handle that again.  What about you?"

She was stunned, to say the least.  She had expected an apology, yes, but never did she expect him to practically come out and admit he loved her, not after all that had happened.  Coming from Jack Bristow, it was the last thing she had expected.  She always thought she would have to be the one who made him see his true feelings.  Apparently, he had figured it out for himself.  "I- I don't know what to say."  She really didn't.  She did love him; she just had no idea how to tell him.  She looked down, away from him.  Where would she start?

Jack stilled their movement and placed a hand under her chin, bringing her eyes back to his.  "It's okay.  I've waited this long, I can wait a little longer.  Take whatever time you need."

"It's just that everything I need to say I've said already and you didn't believe me."  She wanted to move away, but his firm grip kept her rooted to the spot.

He started to play with a strand of her hair.  "Well, tell me again.  I'm willing to believe now.  I want to hear it now."  Before she could respond, and as if to prove his point, he brushed his lips against hers.

So if you really love me

Say yes

But if you don't dear

Confess

And please don't tell me

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

It was a quick, simple kiss but both could feel the electricity that ran through it.  That one small kiss held the promise of many more to come.

Irina pulled back slightly, partly from shock and partly to look him in the eyes to say what she needed to say.  "I know you have believed for the last 20 years that it was the easiest thing I've ever done—walking away from you and Sydney.  But believe me, it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do.  The day I got my orders to leave, I sat on our bed and cried.  I cried for hours.  Both you and Sydney tried to comfort me when you got home, but it just made everything that much worse, knowing I would have to leave the two of you.  You thought I had had a bad day at work so you took Sydney out to dinner and left me alone.  I think I cried myself to sleep at about 7:00 that night.  I had 2 days to get everything in order and carry out my orders or you and Sydney would have been killed."

He wiped an errant tear off her cheek as she continued.  "You see, they knew I was becoming too attached to the life I was living in America with you.  Hell, they probably know when I told them you had proposed and that I accepted without consulting them.  They weren't too pleased with me on that day.  They knew how to get to me.  With my orders was a letter which explained, in graphic detail, exactly what would happen to you and Sydney if I didn't obey.  It wasn't pretty.  I had no choice if I wanted to keep you alive.  They had already threatened your life because they figured either I would have told you the truth or you would have figured it out yourself.  KGB officers are very serious people; I knew they wouldn't hesitate to carry through with their plans.  So, I planned my 'death', kissed Sydney good night and made love to you one last time."

If you can't make you mind up

We'll never get started

And I don't want to wind up

Being parted, broken hearted

Her tears were coming faster now and he continued to wipe them away.  "Shh," he said.  "You don't have to go on.  I think I know the rest."

"But I do, Jack.  You need to know everything."  She paused to catch her breath, then continued.  "At first, I was just doing my job.  But soon, every day I spent with you made me more and more Laura and less and less Irina.  When I accepted your proposal, I was no longer Irina Derevko, I was no longer thinking about being a spy and lying to you.  My only thought was that I was going to marry you.  I accepted and didn't even think about the consequences.  The day I told my case officer was the day Laura came to you with a bloody lip and bruises from tripping down a flight of stairs."

"Those bastards," he interjected.  How could someone do that?  She gave him a light kiss, trying to calm him.

"They were mad at me for not consulting them first.  I was in too deep already.  They wanted to take me off the mission, but I refused to leave, which only made them madder."

So if you really love me

Say yes

But if you don't dear

Confess

And please don't tell me

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

They were interrupted by the waiter bringing dessert.  They moved off the dance floor and sat down at the table.  The song ended while they ate and another came on.  Aside from the music, the room was quiet as they ate their mango ice cream, both lost in their own thoughts.  Jack's mind was reeling from all she had told him, Irina thinking of how to continue.