[Shadows] of the Past
Written by : Studio N.A.K.I.
Episode One : Yume no Kage
It was the time of day that one would peer up at the fading sunset; the sky slowly turning dark velvet blue from an array of startling pastels. Soft pink, light orange, baby blue, and lavender. It was the time of day that was the most surreal, the most lovely, and the most relaxing. This was the best time of day.
But not today. A thick ominous cloud cover blanketed the sky, steadily darkening the unseen sunset. But that's not all. Heavy rain pelted down from every possible angle; no matter where one stood, he was bound to get wet. The wind picked up, becoming merciless as it lashed the rain side to side, up and down. The treetops whipped to and fro, as if dancing amidst the rain clouds, and thunder rumbled from above. As if on cue, a lightning bolt seared clean through a heavy tree branch, heaving it to the ground. Embers flew, attempting to ignite the dry inner wood of the tree, but the raging winds soon calmed the embers with the pounding rain. The rain was merciless tonight.
It was for this reason one lone man was running along a dirt path. The rain had, quite some time ago, turned the packed dirt road into a muddy mess. With every step he took, his foot sunk into the mud and emerged with a squelching sound. He carried a haversack over one shoulder and a sword at his waist. The scabbard clinked against his hip with each step. The man had one thought on his mind: he had to get out of this rain. The rain was so heavy he could only see a few feet in front of him.
"Papa? What are you doing outside?" A boy of nine asked. "The weather's bad."
A man of middle age stood out on a covered walkway right outside the house. "I just came out to see how bad it was...hold on, who is that?" The man narrowed his eyes. "That man must be mad to be out in this rain."
"Papa?"
"Hey!" The father waved his hand. "Hey!"
The stranger seemed to hear him because he stopped dead in his tracks and stared right at him.
Perhaps he wants me to come in, thought the traveler. He hurried up to the house. He stopped just feet from the overhang.
"What's wrong with you?" The father said gruffly, stepping out to the man. He gripped the stranger's elbow and practically dragged him into the house. The stranger stood there, just inside the house, somewhat beweildered.
"Uh..." was all he said.
"Just wait here," the father said. He disappeared through an opening in a shoji screen to the traveler's right. He heard the man's voice call out to someone, more than likely his wife, in the distance.
"We have a guest!"
The traveler observed his new surroundings. He heard a small noise and looked to his left. The shoji screen there was halfway opened and he swore he heard a sound that sounded like quieted laughter. A small face of a boy crept into view around the edge of the shoji screen. Then, one by one, three other faces peeked around the sibling in front of them. The youngest, and last in line, pointed at him and said, rather bluntly, "His head's on fire!"
The traveler's eyes widened in humor and he laughed as the eldest turned to the youngest and said, "No, stupid, he just has really, really, red hair!"
The youngest studied the traveler immensely with his brown eyes. "Then...then why did he take a bath with his clothes on?"
The traveler laughed again.
The child next to the youngest turned to her baby brother and said, "It's raining outside. He was a bad boy and went playing in the rain."
Before the traveler could react to that, the shoji screen to his right opened again. The host walked in, chastising his children.
"Don't bother the gentleman! Go!"
As one the three oldest hurried off, not wanting to upset their father. The youngest, obviously between two and three, waved his finger severely at the traveler and said, "You been a bad boy playing in da rain! You need a spanking!"
"Go, boy!" His father repeated in a louder voice. The boy squeaked and toddled off to find his siblings.
"I hope they weren't rude," the man said.
"No, no," the traveler said. "They were very charming. You must be proud."
The host smiled. "I am." He turned back to the screen through which he came. "Wife!" He turned back to the traveler. "My name is Tanaka Akira, and, as you must have already guessed, I would like to invite you to stay the night or until the storm dies out. Which ever ends first, I guess."
The traveler bowed. "I am grateful for your hospitality, Tanaka-san. But, uh, I really hate to impose, that I do..."
It was then Tanaka-san noticed that the traveler was dripping all over the floor.
"Ha, not to worry. My wife will be bringing you some of my old clothes for you to wear while yours dry. They won't be an exact fit, but they'll do. May I inquire as to your name?"
"Oh, of course," the traveler bowed again. "I am Himura Kenshin, a traveler."
"Obviously," Tanaka-san remarked. "Ah, here is my wife."
The Tanaka family of six plus Kenshin sat at a low traditional Japanese table eating a dinner consisting of rice and fish. After they ate, Kenshin thanked his host profusely and laughed at the children's antics. When at last bedtime came the wife pulled out futons and Kenshin, politely refusing a futon, propped himself up against the wall in the corner. And this is how he slept.
He awoke suddenly in the middle of the night, and looked out the window near him. The rain had stopped; what a miracle. Kenshin stared at teh one break in the clouds. A full moon. He focused on the moon intently and after a while it began to get blurry and soon...became tinted an ominous red...
A blood red moon. It's always the same before every battle. We prepare to fight; my "Shadow" sits next to me, stretching limbs and talking animatedly to another person. I sit and collect my thoughts. The impending battle, like every one, will be fierce and draining to both mind and body.
The door is open and I gaze at the dark sky. An occasional gray cloud floats in front of the red moon. A bloody battle it will be then. They always are.
We charged onto the battlefield to face our opponent...the never-ending stream of Shinsengumi. Damn you, Saito! For a split second, after my sword slays the man in front of me, I notice my "Kage" and my heart freezes up. The only thing I'm truly afraid of...my only real weakness...is when my "shadow" takes to the battlefield with me. The one split second could potentially take my life. My "shadow" jumps in front of me, charging, towards another teal-robed enemy. Unsheathing the sword with fluid ease, my "shadow" slew with the technique I had been named for: the Battoujitsu. An ally calls out, "Kage!"
The name echoed and reverberated around Kenshin's sleep-numbed brain. He shifted uncomfortably in his sleep and his sword slid from his loose grip and clattered loudly on the floor.
"Kenshin?"
Kenshin stirred slightly.
"Kenshin?"
Kenshin muttered quietly in his sleep, "What?"
"Kenshin, wake up. It's morning!"
I open my eyes to meet a pair of extraordinarily blue eyes. Here was my "shadow." She's gorgeous; her hair is long and golden, similar to the color of harvested wheat. Her eyes remind me of the midday sky. She's smiling. Every morning she greets me this way. I can't help it, but she's the only one that can make me smile. She is everything to me. Every time I allow her at my side in battle, I gamble with her life. And I hate myself for doing it. Every time. Protecting her is my duty for the great sin I committed against her. And, despite everything happening around us, the conditions that we met under, I fell for her.
I pull myself to my feet and before I could do anything else, she takes advantage of our privacy and kisses me. I have no time to enjoy the sensation because she pulled away to soon for my liking. We'll continue this later, I promise her.
Later finds me hunting her down. She was snatched up right under my nose, taken by some bastard, probably someone in the Shinsengumi. I ran down the street, calming the feeling of relentless panic rising in me. Where is she!
Around a corner I notice there is a guard standing outside a decrepit building. My hand grips the handle of my blade as I hear a scream come from inside.
Gripping the door, I slide it open, illuminating the dark room in the interior. Four men were pinning down a girl to the floor and another man was in the process of tearing her hakama off. Her gi lay in tattered pieces on the floor. My blood began to boil. The sight of my beloved being assaulted made me lose control of my anger. The men didn't see what was coming.
Afterward, she was crying and attempting to cover herself. I drop my bloody sword, pull off my navy blue gi and cover her with it. I pull her against me, attempting to soothe her.
I remember this particular night more than any other. She's sick. She lay upon a futon, curled up, and gripping the same navy blue gi I had given to her. She spent the entire day over a basin. I nap against the wall next to her, one sword on the floor, one sword propped up against my shoulder. Everything is silent except for the chirping of crickets.
The sudden stomping of running feet caught my attention and the shoji screen of the room slid open suddenly. A man with a sword stood there, his face a picture of fear and urgency.
"Himura! It's the Shinsengumi!"
I jump up, sword in hand, and I hear cloth rustle. She's trying to stand. She's pale and holding onto the wall for support.
"Shinsengumi?" She gasps, struggling to get the words out. "Let's kick some ass..."
"No," I say and gently push her back down onto the futon. "You're sick. You can barely stand. Please...stay here."
She nods closing her eyes. I kiss her on the forehead and she lay back down. She still grips my old gi.
"Himura!" Another man yelled.
I glance back at her as I left, promising myself to come back. Little did I know it was the last time I saw her.
The battle was fast and furious. The clanging of swords rang in his ears. Does this ever end? Kenshin wondered. A group of five men approached him, their swords drawn, calling for him with hatred in their voices. Kenshin smirked. The more the merrier. Sheathing his sword, Kenshin stood still, allowing them to advance. A smirk played with his lips. Just let them come closer. The bravest...or stupidest, take your pick (Kenshin chose the latter)...charged and swung with his sword. Kenshin, faster than the eye can blink, gripped his sword's handle and whipped out the blade, separating the man's head from his shoulders. Kenshin surveyed the other four...he had to take care of the trash. The four men lay dead before they thought otherwise. Fools...he was having too much fun.
Katsura caught up to him, smiling through his sweat and blood. He looked around, puzzled. "Where is your shadow?"
This simple statement hit Kenshin like a ton of bricks as he saw smoke rising in the distance behind Katsura. Without answering Katsura's question, Kenshin ran off, his mind reeling with absurd and ridiculous possibilities. Panic gripped his heart no matter how hard his mind tried to calm it. Where is she? He ran up and saw the building he left her in burning. Kenshin brought his hand up to his face and called her name. She can't still be in there! No!
His ears caught the faint yet distinct sound of swords clashing. Over there, by the tree... Kenshin watched in helplessness, as his feet seemed to be paralyzed. He cried out as this strange man, not dressed in the usual Shinsengumi robes, knocked her sword from her hand and slashed downward with his sword. The blade carved a bloody canyon down her chest. She collapsed at the foot of the tree unmoving. Her eyes remained open, staring blankly at the dark swaying canopy. The man laughed. Kenshin snapped.
"NOOO!"
The man turned to see a blade strike him, severing his head from the rest of him in one fell swoop. Kenshin could barely look at her. She was still gripping his blue gi...and her sword lay just inches from her grasp. Her golden hair was now tinted orange from her pooled blood. Kenshin felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. He could follow her killer to the gates of Hell and torture him for all eternity...and it still wouldn't be enough punishment for her death. He fell to his knees.
Images. Images of their past times shot through his head at lightning fast speed. Their first meeting, their first kiss, their times of passion...thoughts of her, her touch, her smile...he thought he was going to snap.
"Kenshin?"
He froze.
"Kenshin?"
Her voice.
"I love you so much..."
"And I love you too much." Kenshin whispered, completing their phrase. He felt with every beat of his heart he was dying.
The images that spun through his head stopped suddenly...she lay dead in front of him, covered in her own blood. Katsura's voice drifted to him.
"Where is your shadow?"
My shadow...my shadow...my everything...
The voice of a veteran swordsman returned from the grave to scoff at him once more, "In war attachment will destroy you."
The images returned to plague him, shooting so fast through his mind that he only caught glimpses of them. Her voice, her smile, her eyes... "Kenshin!"
Kenshin grabbed the sides of his head and screamed at the sky from the depths of his soul.
"NAKI!!"
Kenshin jerked awake shivering. He covered his face with a hand, his eyes wide. His breath was staggered. Part of him wanted to think the dream was fictional, that it never happened, but the other part of him knew it happened. He hadn't had this dream since his teen years. Kami-sama...he missed her. His whole body craved her. Feeling a wetness on his palm he pulled his hand away from his face. He was crying.
He folded his knees up against his chest and criss-crossed his arms on top of his knees. He rested his forehead on his arms and the tears kept flowing; he could hear them strike his clothing in the dead silence of the room.
Their love had been an innocent love. The first-love type of love. They were both fourteen and knew very little about the adulthood they were being forced into.
Naki had been everything to him. It was her death that initially made him become cold and introverted. That long-dead veteran was right, all those years ago. It was useless to become attached to anyone during a war. If you did, all you would do was get hurt in the end. Naki's death made it hard for him to know what love was. Dammit! Kenshin's hand curled into a fist and his eyes scrunched closed. Why did she have to die?
Kenshin had been over this a million times since it happened. The grief didn't seem to go away, no matter how hard he tried to make it. It was the grief that made him take the vow never to slay again; he hated making people feel the way he felt when he lost Naki. He never wanted to forcefully part a loved one from another person. The grief was there for the first ten years of the Meiji era and even though he had grown close to Kaoru, the pain was still there. He doubted if he could really love a woman that much again. In some ways, there were some of Naki's qualities in Kaoru. Kenshin smirked; Kaoru had Naki's temper, that's for sure.
His smirk died quickly. "Naki..." he whispered.
