Disclaimer: Don't own any of the healing items/ summons/ jobs, those are Squaresofts. This is non-profit fun.
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I never thought I would want it so much
Make me feel
To see the truth with my own eyes and not my heart
Make me feel
I'm nothing more then a pound of flesh in motion
Make me feel
Reality can't be like this
Make me feel
Change my life forever, please?
Make me feel
I'm tired of living it on my knees
Make me feel
Will you?
-Make me feel, by Pen
======================================================
The empty highway just seemed to go on and on
forever, like some never-ending line. It was autumn; he could
tell by the green and gold blurs as he whizzed by on his
motorcycle. The motorcycle they had given him, four years ago.
Four years. That's how long it has been since he saw the
quaint monastery. Four years since he saw her last, four years
since he spoke with her last. His stomach knotted just thinking
about it. He didn't leave on the best of terms and
hadn't attempted to speak or visit since.
They wouldn't understand why he left, but he had to, for his
sanity. He couldn't be like them; he couldn't be the
completed vision of what she saw. So he ran, cowardly yes, but it
was almost instinctive. Something he learned through training was
to survive and in that aspect Ghri will always have some control
over him. But she did break through to him, changed him to what
he was now, something that resembled a human and could feel as
they do. For that, she, too, would always be a part of him.
Thinking of how much he had changed always brought up the
catalyst of his decision. It was a spring day of a new year, warm
and fragrant in the midday sun. They sat under the lavender
blossoms of the tree in the holy place, as they had done everyday
the year before. Usually they would talk, or argue. Or she would
talk and he would listen. Or she would force him to talk and she
would listen, or they would just sit and be quiettogether.
That day, though, he didn't feel like talking and
didn't feel like listening either; he just let her ramble on
in some passionate speech about her theory on life. He like to
watch her when she was like that, she could get very wrapped up
in what she was saying and become very excitable, it was humorous
so much so that he might have smiledmight have that is.
"And- you're not listening to me are you?" she
asked, her head slightly tilted to one side.
"You lost me at good morning." He told her dryly,
resting his head in his cupped hands.
She giggled and teased; "I bet you'd pay more attention
if this was the girl's sacred bathing day."
"You're never going to let me live that down are
you?" His voice raised slightly in defense, "I told
you, it was Kazu's idea. I just happened to be there when he and
Sesshin dragged me into it."
She laughed, "Kazu says it was Sesshin's fault and
Sesshin says it was your fault. You guys really are a trio."
"Hey! Don't put me in the same category with
them-" He stopped when he took a good look at her face. She
was wearing a triumphant smirk that made him realize he had just
played into her game. Immediately, he huffed and folded his arms,
in what she would call, the man's way to pout.'
Aleura's crystalline laughter played in his ears, "Well
time's up for today, I won't torture you any longer.
You're free to go."
He stayed there awhile as she got up, following her shortly
after. They almost made it to the bridge when she gasped aloud.
All of a sudden Aleura fell forward, impulsively Ashen grabbed
her wrist pulled her back towards himself. He stood there
dumbfound holding her wrist and her elbow as she settled her
footing.
"Oh, thank you, Ashen. I can be such a klutz
sometimes," she chirped, not understanding the significance
of what he had just done.
He had instinctively reached out to stop her from falling.
Instinct, part of his inner nature, a reaction without thinking
because you know you should do it with no questions asked. Ashen
could apply that to so many things, but not to caring for
anothers' well being. It was a kind act, a caring act, and
he did it without thinking, just reacting. Part of him
didn't believe it; all this time talking and living here,
never did he feel any real change within himself. He dismissed
everything they said or did as bunk, but now he could see that it
indeed had changed him. There was something inside him that
wasn't there before and it bothered him. He couldn't
explain why it bothered him, but it did.
"Aleura?" Ashen asked quietly to get her attention, his
eyes stared into space.
"Yes?" She turned around on the rope bridge.
"I'm done" He uttered.
"Hmm? Done with what?" Tilting her head to the side.
"I'll be leaving tomorrow."
There was no argument on the subject, he wouldn't let her
and deep down she knew he was serious. The next day, everyone
gathered in the front to see him off, dressed in ceremonial garb
in his honor. Yukai and the other monks gave him an old
motorcycle that they restored. It wasn't the best piece of
machinery but it ran, and Ashen needed it. Nara and the other
priestess said their good byes to him and gave him box of
supplies for his trip. He wouldn't find out until much later
that they had slipped some gil in there for him. A smart move on
their part, for he would have given it back to them; he
didn't like being a charity case, especially when it came to
money. Finally, it was Aleura's turn to say good bye, she
didn't bring him a gift, she didn't need to: she had
already given him enough.
She made her way to the bike he sat on, her headdress jiggling
whenever she made the slightest move. Her porcelain face turned
upward to his, he could see in her eyes all the questions she had
bottled up inside her. Are you really going to leave? Why? You
know you're only running away, right?
"Do you... know where you're going?" She asked.
She was being strong, like always in tough situations. Never once
letting her congregation seeing her weakness, she was after all
their High Priestess, their protector... no one wants to see
their protector cry. Also, she was being strong for him, to let
him know that she would honor his decision.
"Sesshin told me there was a city about day's trip from
here. I'll probably head there for now." His red eyes
stayed with Aleura's, reading them like a book to her soul.
"I see." She took a step back to be with her
congregation, overlapping her upturned palms before her. God, she
was being so brave, he could tell she wanted to cry, that his
leaving hurt her in ways he could never understand, but she
remained dutiful... he admired her for that. They all touched
their hands to their foreheads. "God be with you on your
journey, Ashen Maave."
Ashen nodded, then slipped on the sleek black helmet and downed
its visor. He didn't say good bye; it wasn't something
he thought necessary. Throttling the engine, he veered off
without looking back.
Turning into the dirt road now, Ashen wondered why he decided to
come back to visit in the first place. It wasn't really a
sudden decision, nor was it a decision he had been considering
for a long time. Life had always just been', neither
good nor bad, but being in the monastery felt different. It was
tranquil amidst the chaos of the Frontier and peaceful despite
the warring Ghri being so near. Maybe, he just missed listening
to her theories on life, the silly ideals she was so fervent
about. No one seems that hopeful anymore, it was annoying at the
time... but it unfortunately grew on him.
He pulled the bike into the front of the arched entrance to the
monastery. Sitting on the parked bike, he unzipped his black
leather jacket and took off his helmet, tousling his short
scruffy white locks as he did.
"Ashen?" A priestess asked in disbelief, dropping her
bucket of water in the process. As he turned his sun-kissed face,
she gasped through a smile, "Oh, by God in heaven! It is
you!"
Moments later, it seemed the entire congregation had come to the
front to greet him, surprisingly with open arms and hugs, which
he uncomfortably accepted. They were still the same, obliviously
cheery, but he found it comforting strangely enough. Kazu and
Sesshin appeared from the crowd, Sesshin bowed in a respective
greeting while Kazu playfully smacked Ashen's arm with a
cheery, "Hey! Long time no see!"
They made way for Nara and Yukai when they approached. He had
always respected Nara; she was not like many of the priestesses
here, always with a serious quality and wise air to her. She gave
him a polite hello and a warm smile, knowing he wasn't one
for hugs and respected that. Yukai, he was a little more nervous
of, many things hadn't changed here and if that was so,
Yukai still would have his fatherly protective streak over Aleura
which means he was still very displeased by the hurt Ashen had
caused her when he left. But his nerves were eased when Yukai
only shook Ashen's hand with a peaceful smile under his
mustache.
"Ashen" He turned his head to find where the
smooth womanly voice came from. The sea of priestesses and monks
parted making visible a graciously slender young woman.
Ashen's eyes widen slightly with disbelief, he had forgotten
that time still existed in this place despite the fact everyone
seemed the same, there were some things that obviously had
changed. Aleura was still a scrawny little girl when he left four
years ago; he was not prepared for her to become a beautifully
developed young woman.
Each graceful step she took made it harder to believe she was
ever the clumsy awkward girl she once was. She finally halted in
front of him; she was still only a head shorter then him. Her
face still what it used to be, but refined in womanly elegance.
Her emerald orbs seemed to hold the shade of experience, but the
light of her youth still remained in there somewhere. They
trailed up to meet his red eyes, he was little nervous to what
she could be reading in them now. Finally, her rosy lipped mouth
spread back to reveal the slight pearly smile, Aleura's
smile. Something that would never change, Aleura's smile was
something that could make even the hardest man feel at ease.
Her voice flowed like the song she used to sing, "Welcome
home"
~***~
Autumn leaves fell gently like gold rain about the monastery,
though he found many things had stayed the same. The water still
ran, the falls still trickled like crystal being tapped, grass
was still vibrant green, flowers still bloomed, birds still sung,
and the holy tree was still in blossom. The holy place always
seemed to be locked in time, never changing, never aging.
Aleura and Ashen walked to this familiar place while the
congregation prepared for a homecoming feast, letting them spend
this time alone to rekindle their strange friendship. The two
were silent in their short journey to the holy place, not an
uncomfortable silence, but a familiar silence that said I
know you're there' and needed no other words.
Her long iridescent shawl made crinkled noises as she sat down
under the tree, folding her bare legs under her. He made a move
to sit across from her, like their old seating arrangement, but
she stopped him.
"Ashen, lets not play positions... I want to be your equal
today," She pat the patch of grass beside her, her voice
seemed weary.
He conceded to her will and sat down beside her, noticing the
view vastly different. He could see the entire length of the
monastery's open halls in the distance. Lost in the view, a
slight pressure awakened him, he felt it on his shoulder through
his leather jacket. Immediately, he looked down surprised to see
Aleura's head lightly resting on his shoulder.
"Are you sure you should be doing that?" His
voice gentle in his concern for her, he didn't want to be
the cause of any problems for her in this position.
"I know. Just let me stay like thisfor a little while,
please?" She sighed.
He let her stay like that, easing under her pressure. Hell, even
he had to admit he welcomed the sudden closeness. It was
comforting to have her so near, he wouldn't willingly push
this away. They sat silently together like this, damning the
consequences.
"So," she broke the silence, "What is it like
living in the city?"
His lips spread into an unconscious smile. The comment was so
classically her he had to let out an amused huff, which she felt
through his shoulder. Her green eyes peered up at him from his
shoulder.
"Oh? You smile now?" Asking rather surprised; she had
never seen him smile, ever.
The smile turned into a small smirk as he looked down at her,
"Sometimes"
Aleura's own beautiful smile appeared; "I'm
glad."
She returned her head to his shoulder while he humored her
intrigue; "It's a small city. Not like Ghri at all.
There aren't as many lights as Mecka Allo, but it has some
tall buildings and an active stream of young club goers."
"It sounds wonderful" He could hear the smile in
her voice, which felt good to him. It made him feel good to see
her happy. The two fell peacefully silent again.
"Ashen," Her voice had lost the joyful tone it had
before, "Life isn't like this out there is
it?"
He was hesitant to tell her the truth, yet he didn't want to
lie to her, he never wanted to lie to her. "No. It's
not like this at all."
She exhaled long and painfully; he felt it through his jacket. He
blamed himself for this, knowing full well that his presence in
the monastery as well as his sudden absence had changed her. Back
then, he would have found this change good for her that she
needed to realize her naiveté and cast away her innocent
idealistic nature for the real harsh truths that didn't
exist in her world. However, he could see it now that instead he
had stained her beautifully sweet nature. That rare flower that
doesn't exist outside this strange place, he had tainted it
with his diseased hands and though it didn't die, it lost
some of its brilliance.
"Do you think-" she started, she was nervous from what
he could tell; "If I left hereCould I come with
you?"
The innocent question surprised him. She wanted to leave the only
home she had ever known? His red gaze watched the slumped head on
his shoulder turn up to meet him, "Why?"
It slowly slumped down again away from his eyes, "Would you
want to live in a dream if you never knew what reality was
like?" She sighed, "Besides... my heart doesn't
belong here anymore."
"Do Nara and Yukai know you want to leave?"
"Yes. They said I have to make this decision for
myself."
He sighed, leaning his head back against the tree trunk. She
should stay here, it's her home, every who cares for her is
here, but part of him wanted to be selfish, part of him wanted
her in his life not just a memory of the past. He wanted to
refuse her, the words were all set in his mouth to say no.
"My apartment's small?"
What the hell? That wasn't no!
"I don't mind," her voice was warm, "Maybe I
could even get a job as a school teacher. I've never seen
children except in pictures, but I think I'd be good with
them."
He smirked, it was true she would be, she was good with everyone.
"Do you really want to do this?"
She nodded, "Yes... I do."
Ashen reached behind his neck, something jingled as he pulled a
chain from his collar. He popped one of the four silver keys off
the key ring and placed it gently in her hand. "For when you
move in"
Her head lifted from his shoulder, fingering the key in her hand.
She smiled while he put the chain back under his shirt.
"Thank you."
Her demeanor changed looking at the silver key in her hands. He
could tell she had something else on her mind she wanted to say,
but he wouldn't force her to say it by asking.
"I have something else- I should confess." She
purposefully avoided his quizzical stare, "I fear that...
I've fallen in love with you, Ashen."
His mind pondered in confusion the words she had for him. To him,
love had always been a superficial word, something people cry out
absently during lovemaking and such. It was never genuinely
meant, but Aleura's feelings had always been nothing but
genuine. So she must be genuinely in love with me
She continued without hesitation, "I realized this after you
left."
She's been in love with me for four years
"We're not allowed to fall in love, it's a law
here. Love divides one's attention, splitting your duty to
the community of the Sect and the duty to the one you love. I
can't be both High Priestess and love you."
Take it back, AleuraDon't love me, just don't.
"I've tried to put you out of my mind and deny my
feelings. I thought time would pass and I'd forget about
you, but it only got stronger with each day you were gone, each
day I lost my will to be here."
I'm sorry
She struggled to keep her voice from quivering, "When I
heard you were here it was like God giving me the okay to go. Oh
God, it's true Ashen! I hate it, I feel so selfish, but
it's true. I don't want to be the High Priestess
anymore! I care about them all so much, they've always done
so much for me, but I can't do it! I can't lie to
myself anymore about how much I feel for you."
He could see how hard she was fighting to keep from crying to
stay strong, "Aleura" He let out in a rather
gentle manner. It seemed to affect her, making her gather her
composure in front of him.
"I'm sorryI know this was a lot to put on
you," Her voice was a lot calmer, "I don't expect
you to feel the same for me. I just needed to tell you, just to
get it out."
An uncomfortable silence over took them, she continued to avoid
his eyes; she didn't want to see his reaction. Then suddenly
she felt something warm wrap around her hand, she peer down to
see his partially gloved hand. He lifted her hand, opening her
closed fingers, and placed it on his chest.
At first, she was confused by the action, she looked up to find
his red eyes gazing deeply into her own. Then she felt his heart
beats as they sat there calmly. His heart is beating so fast, but
he can controls his heart rate, it was a part of his training, to
keep himself calm in every situation, and push back emotions-Oh
my.
He could see it in her eyes that she finally understood, he
couldn't simply tell her that he loved her because he
didn't know if it was love or not, he had to show her how he
felt and let her decide for herself what it was. "It was
like that before I came here today and the day I left. It happens
every once in awhile, mostly when something reminds me of you. I
can't stop it or calm it down with training exercises, I
usually just let it run its course."
Her voice seemed caught in her throat, "Oh
Ashen."
A gentle tear trickled down her right cheek; instinctively, he
wiped it away with his thumb, leaving his hand to cup her cheek.
"I didn't do something that made you upset,
right?" he meekly asked in confusion.
She giggled, "No, no, they're happy tears. Um, people
can cry both tears of sadness and of joy."
He let out an amused air with his smile, "That doesn't
make much sense."
Her laughter filled his heart, "No, I guess it really
doesn't make sense."
It touched him so much to hear laugh and see her smile like that;
she still remained the same Aleura in so many aspects, but also a
more adult and refined Aleura at the same time. Not to mention
Aleura was stunningly beautiful, he never noticed how beautiful
she really was until this very moment. Unconsciously, he closed
his eyes, the sudden urge to kiss her heated his thoughts, his
head bent down to claim her lips.
"Ah!" The next thing he felt was his head slam against
the trunk of the tree.
"Ow!" he screeched as she scurried back a couple of
feet.
"Oh, God," She covered her mouth when she realized that
she was a little too hard when she pushed him away. Quickly, she
rushed back to his side, "Oh, God, Ashen I'm
sorry!"
A wince occupied his face. That's going to leave a
mark He gingerly touched the back of his head to check for
blood. "Did I do something wrong?" He asked a little
confused and frustrated.
"No, no!" She began to heal the bruise given to him.
"It's just you mustn't do that. Not now that is...
I'm still VERY much the High Priestess here and it's
forbidden for me to have such contact with any man."
"Oh," he said while the pain in his head dissipated.
She could have told me that sooner
She helped him to his feet, "I'm sorry, are you
alright?"
"Yeah" He got caught in her pleading eyes,
"I'm fine."
Her smile warmed his heart; she had slipped her hands into his.
"When won't you be the High Priestess anymore?"
the words slipped out in a husky whisper.
"Three days, if I tell them now," Still smiling, she
whispered back, "Will you promise to try again then?"
He nodded, his thumbs affectionately doodling little ovals on the
back of her hands. Three days suddenly felt like too long of a
wait. "I have a job to do, but I can get back here by that
time."
"Good, then everything is all planned out," Her
giddiness very apparent. "I better go and help with the
feast, they may get the wrong idea if they see us like
this."
Quickly, she gave him tender, but illegal embrace, just long
enough to catch the jasmine incense that mingled in her hair, and
then she was gone. Skipping fairy-footed down the bridge and out
of sight. Three days was definitely too long of a wait.
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AN: Heya! From now on, all the author notes will be after the story, unless it's a warning. Why? To make room for the poetry or lyrics up top. Why the poetry or lyrics? Tenth?
*Tenth strolls in with all his dark glory * "That'sclassified."
* Glomps Tenth * What he said, hehe!
*flashes his warm smile to the girl on his back * "You know, I charge extra for rides.."
frowns and solemnly gets off* It's always at a price with you Dynasty boys oh well really quick sorry for all my carnage fans, I know it was a mushy chapter, but it IS a romance. Questions or Comments are welcome as always, as is reviews in the form of a question or comment * realizes that sounded really dumb* Quiet, I still have a Tenth here *points to Tenth who winks at the readers * You know your just asking for trouble when you do that, right?
*Tenth smiles knowingly *
*drly* I am sooo not bringing you in on my author's notes anymore.
