Chapter 4 - Distress

The sun rose over the streets of LA, chasing away the darkness and all of the creatures that belonged in it. The world began to wake as the new day dawned, and soon, the hustle of everyday life was upon the city, cars filled the highways, pedestrians bustled along the streets, on their way to their daily lives. In the Hyperion hotel, silence reigned through all of the hallways, as the residents slept soundly.

Fred was woken by the chirping of birds as they flitted past the window of her room, feeling like she had spent the night back in the cave she had made into her home during her "stay" in Pylea. She hated that place more than she had hated anything in her life. She despised it. It had stolen part of herself from her while she was there. It was never a home. It was a prison. It tore her apart piece by piece, until only her rambling insecurities about herself were left. It made her hate herself. She looked over at the form in her bed, so peaceful and still in sleep, and shook her head, wondering what could have hurt this beautiful man before her so deeply. Hoping beyond hope that he could learn to trust her enough to tell him what it was that was slowly killing him. She let her gaze linger on his body longer than she should have done, noticing his extraordinary paleness, even for a vampire. She also saw how thin he was, the blanket pushed away from his shoulders, exposing his arms and back, as he lay on his stomach. Sighing, she raised her hand to her neck, and gently massaged the tight muscles there that had come from sleeping sitting up all night, until she felt them release, then slowly, so as not to wake the sleeping vampire, she moved from the chair, and left the room, heading for the lobby.

---

Spike woke the instant he heard the door to the room close gently. As he opened his eyes, his mind took a while to process his surroundings, before remembering where he was. He had come back to his Sire, and had been accepted, all because of the dainty young girl whose bed he now lay in had shown no fear of him. He was surrounded by her fresh scent; the light fragrance of bergamot embedded in her bedclothes had weaved its way onto his skin. Yet he was still plagued with memories of vanilla scented soap and shampoo, with an underlying hint of purity and heroism, and something distinctly Buffy.

She had come to him in his dreams. Her ghost watching him from the shadows of the tower as he lay helpless on the rubble covered floor, seeing her body arch as she jumped into the portal and saved the world. He heard her voice in his head, tormenting him.

"You failed me Spike. You broke your promise."

'Should've saved Dawn'

'If I'd have just moved a little faster.. been a little quicker. a little smarter.'

'If I could just have stopped Doc, she would be here, she would be safe.'

The tears of days past fell once more from his eyes, dotting the scented sheets with patterns of his pain over losing Buffy. Over his failure. His demon raged as he was enveloped by the emotions of humanity once again, urging him to hunt; to kill; to take his vengeance and use it as a weapon to destroy the innocence of the world. Yet he stayed, and not because of the constraints of wire and metal, but because of his love for a woman who was his opposite, his mortal enemy. The woman that could have brought his very existence to an end... The woman who had made him feel like he was a man.

Spike wrapped his arms around his stomach and hugged himself tightly, curling into a ball on the bed, and dropping his head down to rest on the soft pillow. Slowly he rocked back and forth; hoping that his Sire would wait to ask the questions that he knew would inevitably be voiced.

---

Angel was downstairs in his office as he noticed Fred descending the stairs. She looked tired and stressed. He wasn't surprised; dealing with Spike could grate on the strongest nerves. He stood from his chair and moved to meet her as she stepped down into the lobby.

"Fred, you ok? You look. well, ah, did you sleep?"

Fred raised her head in response, and shook her head.

"Not really. Well, not much y'know. Never did like sleepin' sittin' up, but it beats the hell out of a cave floor any day. Never knowing whether you'd be safe enough to last the night without bein' eaten by a, well, they never had names. Anyway, beats that." She let out a small sigh and smiled slightly, seeing Angel's worried expression fade. Realisation dawned on her.

"Don't worry Angel. The 'Big Bad vamp' din't do anything. Actually, that's kinda worrying' in itself."

Angel looked at her, puzzled by her statement.

"Oh!" She blushed. "I don't mean I want him to bite me, or kill me or anything, and I still don't think he would hurt me, or anyone else, so you don't have to worry about that, like I said already." She sighed loudly, slumping her shoulders. "I'm just worried about him, is all I meant. He's awful pale, and I mean, I know that's normal cause of the no sun thing, but he's *real* pale, and thin. scarily thin, and Angel?" She reached out and took his hand in hers. "Whatever it is that's killing' him? It's doin' a good job. He's dying, and he needs you. That's why he's here. That's why he came. He swallowed his pride and came to you. You may not think it and hell, he might not even think it, but I just know."

"Just like you know that he's trustworthy?"

"Yes, just like I know that. It's just a feeling I get. Like I did in Pylea. I knew you weren't the monster you seemed. I trusted you. And I was right about that wasn't I."

Angel nodded. "Fred, I wish I could have as much hope as you. But I can't help him. He wouldn't listen to me anyway. He always was a stubborn son of a bitch."

"And I wonder where he got that from." Fred snapped. "Look, Angel, all I'm sayin' is you could at least try. Go sit with him, even if you don't talk, and you don't want to be there. Go and see the damage for yourself." A tear fell onto her cheek. "It's really bad."

Seeing her sincerity, Angel moved past her and began climbing the stairs. When he reached halfway, he turned and looked at Fred. She smiled up at him through teary eyes, her teeth worrying her lower lip. He returned her smile, and made his way to her room to see his Childe

---

Fred watched as Angel ascended the stairs and disappeared out of sight into the hallway. She pulled the sleeves of her jumper down to cover her hands, and wiped her eyes with her cloth covered wrists, feeling the soft wetness of her tears soak into the material and through to her skin. Taking a deep breath, she moved to sit behind the reception desk, waiting for her co workers to arrive and for the questions to begin.

*What are you doing? What am I doin'? He's a killer! Well, apparently, I mean, he didn't seem too evil to me, but then, oh well, no! I just know he's decent, that he's not like they say. Maybe he was but, I just feel it. Why do I get myself into.? Oh Good Lord Winifred Burkle* she chastised.* Just chill out and quit getting freaked, you're gonna ruin your favourite pullover. So what? There's a vampire in your room who you willingly put there, you lived in a hell dimension for 5 years! You can cope with some hassle off people who you've only just got to be friendly with.* With that last inner comment Fred drew her head down to her chest and worried at her lip with her teeth again. Nervousness had been a big part of her life for so long, both during and after her trip to Pylea; it was hard to remember what it was like to not be nervous. Yet when she had seen Spike, and taken him under her wing, she had been the same assertive, intelligent woman who had lived in this world just over 5 years ago. She sighed, and smiled, then huffed. "Now where did I put that book?" she asked herself. "Aaah! There you are!" She jumped from her seat and took her place in the more comfy chair that was by Cordelia's work station. Snuggling into it, she flipped the book open and began to read.

---

Angel made no attempt at quietness as he entered Fred's room. His Childe had probably sensed his presence as soon as he had set foot outside the door, if not before, so he thought it better to not make a bad situation even worse. After all that Angelus, he, had put William through as a Childe, and after all that Spike had put him through, he wasn't looking forward to seeing if Fred's theory about this estranged family member was correct. Spike had always been his favourite, no, not Spike, William. William had been sweet and kind, and taken care of Drusilla; Spike had been invented to shield the humanity inside the younger vampire from those who saw no threat in him. He was of Aurelius line, but that was not enough to deter the stupid fledges who were not trained well enough to realise when they were making a mistake. What he saw before him when he entered the room scared him.

His Childe was lying in a ball, curled around himself, rocking back and forth. Either Spike was ignoring his appearance in the bedroom, or he was too wrapped up in whatever thoughts were tormenting him to even notice, or be bothered that he had the company of his Sire. The bed sheets were tangled around him somewhat uncomfortably, and he was nearly naked. The vampire's bones were almost visible through his skin, and he was pale. Terribly pale. His once soft hair was untended to, his cheekbones, more piercing than usual as Angel moved to the side of the bed to take a closer look at his Childe. Spike opened his eyes for a moment, sensing someone watching him intently, and Angel saw the pain in them for a brief second, before Spike shook his head and pulled himself from the close range of Angel. Gone were the oceanic blue pools that sparkled with intensity and passion all that remained was emptiness. Angel stood and retreated to the door, words were not needed between the vampires; there was nothing to say. He cast a glance back at the withered form on the bed. Sighing deeply, already lost in his thoughts and worries, Angel left the room, and closed the door. Resting his back against the wall of the hallway, Angel put his head in his hands, and sank to the floor. Fred had been right. Spike was dying.