Disclaimer: Don't own any of the healing items/ summons/ jobs, those are Squaresofts. This is non-profit fun.

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You don't scare me much

By the things you say

Want me to be like you

I choose to live this way

You try to rule my world

And hurt me every day

I want to live my life

You want to take my soul away...

It doesn't cost me much

To share my thoughts with you

I know you'll never share

Share my point of view

Its not that easy, you know

Not even if you pay I want to be myself

You want to take my soul away...

You don't scare me much

By the things you say

Just want me to like you

Live my life my way

You try to rule my world

So what can I say?

I want to live my life

You want to take my soul away...

You want to take my soul away...

~ Soultaker, by Apoptygma Berzerk

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On the dirt floor, by the ashes and burnt logs, he slept, slightly curled inward on his side, almost like a child would. Even in his sleep his face held a hardened look trying to mask the boyish features he had. The old man hovering near by observed the way the younger slept, pondering what kind of turbulent thoughts raged in his head. Such a stubborn little boy, even when he sleeps he looks like he's fighting something The young man stirred and shivered slightly, he seemed to move into a more fetal-like position. So much like a boy yet still a man. Such a sad thing Oh well, no rest for the wicked.

Underneath his wispy mustache the old man smirked, tossing the contents of large tin pail out at the younger man. The ice cold water hit the sleeping victim waking him with a start. Like a knee jerk reaction, a soaked Ashen jolted away sputtering and yelping, "SHIT! What the hell?!"

Immediately, the drenched summoner looked up at the old smirking man hovering above. Underneath the wet white bangs plastered to his face, he glared dangerously at the old summoner. Ramuh only smiled smugly and shook the pail outward towards Ashen. "We need more water."

The young man turned his face defiantly away, "Yeah? Well go get it yourself."

"Huk!" Ashen let out in pain when the pail unexpectedly hit him in the stomach. He gripped the pail still sitting like it was imbedded in his stomach and glared violently at the old man.

"As long as you're staying here you're going to be earning your keep. There's a well near the entrance." Ramuh spoke muffled slightly by the agizlik in his mouth.

"Heh" Ashen smirked, "What makes you think I won't run away?"

"You're still here aren't you?" the old summoner puffed. "Ha! Don't take me for a fool."

Still glowering at the old man, Ashen stood up with the pail in hand. He walked huffily to the cave entrance.

An hour later the two sat around another fire, eating in silence the eggs and sausage that were recently cooked. From time to time Ramuh's nargile would echo rolls of bubbling water as he took in long drags and exhaled in threads adding to the haze of smoke about him. Ashen's red ovals traveled around the room from his plate, frequently stopping at the dome of rock ceiling above them. Then he would lower them back into his food and eat lightly, only to return them to the ceiling with scrutiny moments later.

"What are you staring at? You've been doing that ever since we-" The old man's eyes eased up the ceiling, seeing the large painted arabesque design there. "Oh, that."

"What is it?" came Ashen's voice laced with suppressed child-like curiosity, his eyes never leaving the ceiling art. It was strange in its looks; gentle white curves graced the right side while in contrast on the left held harsh black ridges. The two seemed to leak into the large middle design containing both curved and ridged lines of a variety of shades from white to black and on four corners of the design jutted out arched scaling lines which one could almost fancy were similar to wings.

Ramuh looked at the young man with disbelief. "You don't know what that is?" He bristled and huffed, going back to smoking on his nargile. "You never learned anything about your own culture did you?"

Ashen shot him a narrowed look and then went back to the ceiling. The old man sniffed aloud then began in a distant voice, "They are called the Triad Deity. Long ago, they were the main religion of the various summoner tribes." He continued, taking the agizlik out of his mouth and using it as a pointer, " Life." He pointed to the white lined right side. "Death," Indicating the black lines of the left. "The Pathway of both," his traveled the tip along the lines of the middle design.

"Why didn't I ever see these symbols while in the Tribal Lands?"

"It is a dead religion. Was so even before you were born. Only the dregs of the old stories existed in most modern villages to teach children morals." Distance in his voice, he placed the agizlik back in his mouth. "No one really believes in it anymore."

The younger eyed the older summoner, "Then why do you have it on your ceiling?"

The wizen figure laughed, rolls of smoke escaping through his nostrils. He eased to a smile removing the agizlik once more, "I am an old man who believes in the old ways. The superstitions of good and evil, right and wrongjustice and vengeance."

Ashen watched Ramuh, everything he said brought up an image for the young man. Noting that no one takes those abstract principals seriously anymore. Good, right, justiceall in the eye of the beholder, like wise is evil, wrong, and vengeance. This is the way Ghri rules, what they say is right and just and those who oppose them are evil and wrong. In this way killing off the summoner race was right and was justified while those affected knew better. Who was right and who was wrong? Only the one who thinks of it knows the truth. Yet the way the old summoner spoke seemed reminiscent of Aleura's countless lectures on her beliefs of truth, love, and life. His red eyes narrowed while carrying a glint indifference, realizing what the old man was getting at.

"The answer is still no."

"Pah!" the older summoner said waving the younger off like he was a fly. "You assume far too much, Oni." He put the agizlik into his mouth which muffled his words, "But since you mentioned itI think-"

"No." Ashen interrupted flatly, taking a bite of sausage afterwards.

The old man bristled, "Didn't anyone ever teach you to respect your elders?!"

The young summoner's face turned to the older, giving him a what do you think' look. Ramuh met this with defeat and turned away grumbling ancient summoner curses only to return with new determination, "You are far too stubborn for your own good! You will accomplish nothing by dying, you should know your own limitations and accept the help offered!"

"Help. That's a good one." Ashen grinned cynically and said, with his bitter tone, "Wish they weren't there when their around and when you need them they're never thereha, some help."

Ramuh scrutinized the young man, then slowly cracked a smile. Then the smile turned into a laugh and so on to a fit of laughter, leaving the young man in confusion that gradually boiled to anger.

"What the hell is so funny?!" Ashen barked.

The fit loosened and the old man sighed, though still chuckling here and there, "NothingI just realized why you act like a woman on her cycle when it comes to talk of the Great Helpers. You miss them."

The statement made the young man's eyes large with rage creating more chuckles from the old man. "Shut up, old man, you don't know what the hell you're talking about!"

Ramuh bit back the laughter with an amused smile, "Oh don't get so defensive, it's quite natural you know? Summoners are connected to their Great Helpers and if they are torn from their vessel, the vessel feels the loss. You had a very deep connection with your Helpers, whether you believe so or not. Yours had been with you all your life and having never been raised by summoners, let alone real parentsthey were all you had." The amusement died down as he continued, "To have them suddenly rip away from you without knowing why must have been traumatic. It is natural to feel abandoned."

A rather bestial growl emitted from deep within Ashen startling the old summoner, fire-like red eyes glared darkly at the him with a slight turn of the head as if set in slow motion. In a callous low growl, the young man spoke, "Don't try to figure me out, old man I don't need your input on my life and it's only serving to piss me off."

The wizen figure stiffened under the dark threatening gaze, though hid it well with the agizlik in his mouth. "Heh," he laughed bitterly though it held a hint of nervousness, "You're not scaring anyone with that tone, Oni. It only shows-"

"Watch it, old man." Ashen interrupted in the same dark manner, then slowly turned his eyes back to the fire.

A tense silence ensued, the roar of fire the only noise. The firelight and invading sunlight mingling together in the room, yet also had their individual states. The old man puffed stiffly on his nargile while the young man set down his food. His hunger suddenly was lacking due to the pressure settling in the room. His eyes drifted once to the ceiling then back to the fire.

"You should take them." Ramuh let out flatly, he had been wanting to say it for sometime.

The young man's head drooped slightly in exasperation, "Couldn't resist it could you?"

"Well you're heading there anyway. Would it kill you to take revenge for our people as well?" snapped the older summoner.

"Why the hell should I?!" barked Ashen.

"Because THEY want you too!" The agizlik once again pulled from his mouth.

"I'm so sick of this shit!" Ashen jumped to his feet and yelled, "What the hell is the difference between Dynasty and being a vessel?! Dynasty wanted me as a weapon, They want me as a weapon! WHAT THE HELL'S FUCKING DIFFERENCE?!"

Turmoil seemed to build in the young man as he gripped his snowy locks by the roots. The old man squirmed under the aggressive enraged aura Ashen was giving off, though he watched him intently. Each lean muscle in his young body seemed to tense until gradually he eased, letting his hands loose from his scalp. He became a picture of calm as if his sudden outburst never occurred.

"This is why I want to do this alone I'm not going to be anyone's weapon." His red eye burrowed into the old summoner.

The old summoner's head sank, slowly understanding the young man's motives. The woman he loved helped him to be a different person, if he took revenge as a summoner for his people he would sully the memory of his love. Poor fool Tired, weak, the old man began to feel his age creep over him. "You are going about this all wrong, Oni."

He heard Ashen huff, but pushed forward to get his point across, "You do not have the power to do this on your own-Hey!" he saw the young man trudge past him, grabbing his coat and slipping it on as he headed to the cave entrance, "You can't leave! They won't let you!"

"I'm sick of hearing you talk, I'm getting air!" the younger summoner tossed back without even looking over his shoulder at the old man.

He huffed, "Oni Baka-" then shook his head sighing solemnly, "He has it all wrongall of it."

Suddenly, the old man stiffened to alert, eyeing warily the cave entrance. Kusonot now! He quickly tapped his metal ball and hurried out.

~***~

The air swirled violently sending dirt and dead leaves flying about. The wind roared and carried a slight hum of an engine. He stood stiff as a board in face of the gusts beating his body and face, but he did not flinch, not even noticing when Ramuh nearly bumped into him. His red eyes lock on the lone figure watching passively as the sleek black helicopter began its ascent. It was like some distant memory of the past coming to life, surreal and foreboding.

His head turn slightly upward watching the sky while his black chin length hair silkily danced in the wind, revealing his pale angelic face and dark almond shaped eyes. He was calm and cool, the tails of his trench coat unfurling behind him in the air almost like black wings.

When the wind died down the picture changed, he became a man once againa man with a purpose. The sparse wood and clearing became deathly quiet, nothing stirred, nothing breathed. Then the slight grain crunch of sand under one's boot sounded. Ramuh stealthily came in front of Ashen, bumping him backwards a bit into the shade of the cave. Ashen shot him a defensive glare, but it suddenly dissipated upon seeing the old man's stern features cast seriously at the dark figure.

Pain-stakingly slow, Tenth turned to face them. A warm friendly smile spread on his lips directed at Ramuh, he had not seen Ashen yet. Ramuh grinned smugly up at the taller man as he came forward to greet him. Tenth stopped a safe distance away, crossing his arms at the elbows.

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AN: Hell-O everybody! It's a lovely rainy day so I'm in a good mood! *wow! Combined that and the lyrics up top, I'm must sound like a stereotypical Goth chick, I might as well change my name to Lady Nightshade or something :P * No this is NOT a phase, I've been like this since I was a twelve, so I'm a natural oddity. Now that that is cleared up, I should explain the lyrics up top * prays there isn't a mob of APB fans on this site ready to lynch her * The lyric's feel Ashen-ish to me (I usually chose music based on situation or character feel. This one is character feel), very angry, very accusatory. I could see Ashen saying things like that to many characters in the story or feeling that way deep down inside. Especially with this whole "great helpers' agenda it's a very touchy subject for him as you can see. I kinda see it as a child and parent(s) relationship, where the parents want their rebellious teen to be a doctor when the teen wants to have a rock banddoes that make sense? Also, I adore APB, I've been listening to their CD Welcome to Earth no stop since I got it and I'm not sick of it yet. Soultaker is my fave on the CD and I listened to it a lot while writing this chapter. So yaI would like to thank my loyal readers, those who post review and those who don't (I know ppl are just shy, I'm like that too) * or she's lying to herself at no one's reading but that's okay I write for me. * It means a lot to me that ppl take time out of their day just to read this story. If you have any comments or questions please leave them on the Review board, reviews are encouraging so if you want to leave them consider it your good deed for the day and forget feeding the homeless person (JUST KIDDING DON"T KILL ME!) Love ya all, laters!