Disclaimer: Don't own any of the healing items/ summons/ jobs, those are Squaresofts. This is non-profit fun.
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You don't scare me much
By the things you say
Want me to be like you
I choose to live this way
You try to rule my world
And hurt me every day
I want to live my life
You want to take my soul away...
It doesn't cost me much
To share my thoughts with you
I know you'll never share
Share my point of view
Its not that easy, you know
Not even if you pay I want to be myself
You want to take my soul away...
You don't scare me much
By the things you say
Just want me to like you
Live my life my way
You try to rule my world
So what can I say?
I want to live my life
You want to take my soul away...
You want to take my soul away...
~ Soultaker, by Apoptygma Berzerk
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On the dirt floor, by the ashes and burnt logs,
he slept, slightly curled inward on his side, almost like a child
would. Even in his sleep his face held a hardened look trying to
mask the boyish features he had. The old man hovering near by
observed the way the younger slept, pondering what kind of
turbulent thoughts raged in his head. Such a stubborn little boy,
even when he sleeps he looks like he's fighting
something The young man stirred and shivered slightly, he
seemed to move into a more fetal-like position. So much like a
boy yet still a man. Such a sad thing Oh well, no rest for
the wicked.
Underneath his wispy mustache the old man smirked, tossing the
contents of large tin pail out at the younger man. The ice cold
water hit the sleeping victim waking him with a start. Like a
knee jerk reaction, a soaked Ashen jolted away sputtering and
yelping, "SHIT! What the hell?!"
Immediately, the drenched summoner looked up at the old smirking
man hovering above. Underneath the wet white bangs plastered to
his face, he glared dangerously at the old summoner. Ramuh only
smiled smugly and shook the pail outward towards Ashen. "We
need more water."
The young man turned his face defiantly away, "Yeah? Well go
get it yourself."
"Huk!" Ashen let out in pain when the pail unexpectedly
hit him in the stomach. He gripped the pail still sitting like it
was imbedded in his stomach and glared violently at the old man.
"As long as you're staying here you're going to be
earning your keep. There's a well near the entrance."
Ramuh spoke muffled slightly by the agizlik in his mouth.
"Heh" Ashen smirked, "What makes you think I
won't run away?"
"You're still here aren't you?" the old
summoner puffed. "Ha! Don't take me for a fool."
Still glowering at the old man, Ashen stood up with the pail in
hand. He walked huffily to the cave entrance.
An hour later the two sat around another fire, eating in silence
the eggs and sausage that were recently cooked. From time to time
Ramuh's nargile would echo rolls of bubbling water as he
took in long drags and exhaled in threads adding to the haze of
smoke about him. Ashen's red ovals traveled around the room
from his plate, frequently stopping at the dome of rock ceiling
above them. Then he would lower them back into his food and eat
lightly, only to return them to the ceiling with scrutiny moments
later.
"What are you staring at? You've been doing that ever
since we-" The old man's eyes eased up the ceiling,
seeing the large painted arabesque design there. "Oh,
that."
"What is it?" came Ashen's voice laced with
suppressed child-like curiosity, his eyes never leaving the
ceiling art. It was strange in its looks; gentle white curves
graced the right side while in contrast on the left held harsh
black ridges. The two seemed to leak into the large middle design
containing both curved and ridged lines of a variety of shades
from white to black and on four corners of the design jutted out
arched scaling lines which one could almost fancy were similar to
wings.
Ramuh looked at the young man with disbelief. "You
don't know what that is?" He bristled and huffed, going
back to smoking on his nargile. "You never learned anything
about your own culture did you?"
Ashen shot him a narrowed look and then went back to the ceiling.
The old man sniffed aloud then began in a distant voice,
"They are called the Triad Deity. Long ago, they were the
main religion of the various summoner tribes." He continued,
taking the agizlik out of his mouth and using it as a pointer,
" Life." He pointed to the white lined right side.
"Death," Indicating the black lines of the left.
"The Pathway of both," his traveled the tip along the
lines of the middle design.
"Why didn't I ever see these symbols while in the
Tribal Lands?"
"It is a dead religion. Was so even before you were born.
Only the dregs of the old stories existed in most modern villages
to teach children morals." Distance in his voice, he placed
the agizlik back in his mouth. "No one really believes in it
anymore."
The younger eyed the older summoner, "Then why do you have
it on your ceiling?"
The wizen figure laughed, rolls of smoke escaping through his
nostrils. He eased to a smile removing the agizlik once more,
"I am an old man who believes in the old ways. The
superstitions of good and evil, right and wrongjustice and
vengeance."
Ashen watched Ramuh, everything he said brought up an image for
the young man. Noting that no one takes those abstract principals
seriously anymore. Good, right, justiceall in the eye of
the beholder, like wise is evil, wrong, and vengeance. This is
the way Ghri rules, what they say is right and just and those who
oppose them are evil and wrong. In this way killing off the
summoner race was right and was justified while those affected
knew better. Who was right and who was wrong? Only the one who
thinks of it knows the truth. Yet the way the old summoner spoke
seemed reminiscent of Aleura's countless lectures on her
beliefs of truth, love, and life. His red eyes narrowed while
carrying a glint indifference, realizing what the old man was
getting at.
"The answer is still no."
"Pah!" the older summoner said waving the younger off
like he was a fly. "You assume far too much, Oni." He
put the agizlik into his mouth which muffled his words, "But
since you mentioned itI think-"
"No." Ashen interrupted flatly, taking a bite of
sausage afterwards.
The old man bristled, "Didn't anyone ever teach you to
respect your elders?!"
The young summoner's face turned to the older, giving him a
what do you think' look. Ramuh met this with defeat
and turned away grumbling ancient summoner curses only to return
with new determination, "You are far too stubborn for your
own good! You will accomplish nothing by dying, you should know
your own limitations and accept the help offered!"
"Help. That's a good one." Ashen grinned cynically
and said, with his bitter tone, "Wish they weren't
there when their around and when you need them they're never
thereha, some help."
Ramuh scrutinized the young man, then slowly cracked a smile.
Then the smile turned into a laugh and so on to a fit of
laughter, leaving the young man in confusion that gradually
boiled to anger.
"What the hell is so funny?!" Ashen barked.
The fit loosened and the old man sighed, though still chuckling
here and there, "NothingI just realized why you act
like a woman on her cycle when it comes to talk of the Great
Helpers. You miss them."
The statement made the young man's eyes large with rage
creating more chuckles from the old man. "Shut up, old man,
you don't know what the hell you're talking
about!"
Ramuh bit back the laughter with an amused smile, "Oh
don't get so defensive, it's quite natural you know?
Summoners are connected to their Great Helpers and if they are
torn from their vessel, the vessel feels the loss. You had a very
deep connection with your Helpers, whether you believe so or not.
Yours had been with you all your life and having never been
raised by summoners, let alone real parentsthey were all
you had." The amusement died down as he continued, "To
have them suddenly rip away from you without knowing why must
have been traumatic. It is natural to feel abandoned."
A rather bestial growl emitted from deep within Ashen startling
the old summoner, fire-like red eyes glared darkly at the him
with a slight turn of the head as if set in slow motion. In a
callous low growl, the young man spoke, "Don't try to
figure me out, old man I don't need your input on my
life and it's only serving to piss me off."
The wizen figure stiffened under the dark threatening gaze,
though hid it well with the agizlik in his mouth.
"Heh," he laughed bitterly though it held a hint of
nervousness, "You're not scaring anyone with that tone,
Oni. It only shows-"
"Watch it, old man." Ashen interrupted in the same dark
manner, then slowly turned his eyes back to the fire.
A tense silence ensued, the roar of fire the only noise. The
firelight and invading sunlight mingling together in the room,
yet also had their individual states. The old man puffed stiffly
on his nargile while the young man set down his food. His hunger
suddenly was lacking due to the pressure settling in the room.
His eyes drifted once to the ceiling then back to the fire.
"You should take them." Ramuh let out flatly, he
had been wanting to say it for sometime.
The young man's head drooped slightly in exasperation,
"Couldn't resist it could you?"
"Well you're heading there anyway. Would it kill you to
take revenge for our people as well?" snapped the older
summoner.
"Why the hell should I?!" barked Ashen.
"Because THEY want you too!" The agizlik once again
pulled from his mouth.
"I'm so sick of this shit!" Ashen jumped to his
feet and yelled, "What the hell is the difference between
Dynasty and being a vessel?! Dynasty wanted me as a weapon, They
want me as a weapon! WHAT THE HELL'S FUCKING
DIFFERENCE?!"
Turmoil seemed to build in the young man as he gripped his snowy
locks by the roots. The old man squirmed under the aggressive
enraged aura Ashen was giving off, though he watched him
intently. Each lean muscle in his young body seemed to tense
until gradually he eased, letting his hands loose from his scalp.
He became a picture of calm as if his sudden outburst never
occurred.
"This is why I want to do this alone I'm not
going to be anyone's weapon." His red eye burrowed into
the old summoner.
The old summoner's head sank, slowly understanding the young
man's motives. The woman he loved helped him to be a
different person, if he took revenge as a summoner for his people
he would sully the memory of his love. Poor fool Tired,
weak, the old man began to feel his age creep over him.
"You are going about this all wrong, Oni."
He heard Ashen huff, but pushed forward to get his point across,
"You do not have the power to do this on your own-Hey!"
he saw the young man trudge past him, grabbing his coat and
slipping it on as he headed to the cave entrance, "You
can't leave! They won't let you!"
"I'm sick of hearing you talk, I'm getting
air!" the younger summoner tossed back without even looking
over his shoulder at the old man.
He huffed, "Oni Baka-" then shook his head sighing
solemnly, "He has it all wrongall of it."
Suddenly, the old man stiffened to alert, eyeing warily the cave
entrance. Kusonot now! He quickly tapped his metal ball and
hurried out.
~***~
The air swirled violently sending dirt and dead leaves flying
about. The wind roared and carried a slight hum of an engine. He
stood stiff as a board in face of the gusts beating his body and
face, but he did not flinch, not even noticing when Ramuh nearly
bumped into him. His red eyes lock on the lone figure watching
passively as the sleek black helicopter began its ascent. It was
like some distant memory of the past coming to life, surreal and
foreboding.
His head turn slightly upward watching the sky while his black
chin length hair silkily danced in the wind, revealing his pale
angelic face and dark almond shaped eyes. He was calm and cool,
the tails of his trench coat unfurling behind him in the air
almost like black wings.
When the wind died down the picture changed, he became a man once
againa man with a purpose. The sparse wood and clearing
became deathly quiet, nothing stirred, nothing breathed. Then the
slight grain crunch of sand under one's boot sounded. Ramuh
stealthily came in front of Ashen, bumping him backwards a bit
into the shade of the cave. Ashen shot him a defensive glare, but
it suddenly dissipated upon seeing the old man's stern
features cast seriously at the dark figure.
Pain-stakingly slow, Tenth turned to face them. A warm friendly
smile spread on his lips directed at Ramuh, he had not seen Ashen
yet. Ramuh grinned smugly up at the taller man as he came forward
to greet him. Tenth stopped a safe distance away, crossing his
arms at the elbows.
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AN: Hell-O everybody! It's a lovely rainy day so I'm in a good mood! *wow! Combined that and the lyrics up top, I'm must sound like a stereotypical Goth chick, I might as well change my name to Lady Nightshade or something :P * No this is NOT a phase, I've been like this since I was a twelve, so I'm a natural oddity. Now that that is cleared up, I should explain the lyrics up top * prays there isn't a mob of APB fans on this site ready to lynch her * The lyric's feel Ashen-ish to me (I usually chose music based on situation or character feel. This one is character feel), very angry, very accusatory. I could see Ashen saying things like that to many characters in the story or feeling that way deep down inside. Especially with this whole "great helpers' agenda it's a very touchy subject for him as you can see. I kinda see it as a child and parent(s) relationship, where the parents want their rebellious teen to be a doctor when the teen wants to have a rock banddoes that make sense? Also, I adore APB, I've been listening to their CD Welcome to Earth no stop since I got it and I'm not sick of it yet. Soultaker is my fave on the CD and I listened to it a lot while writing this chapter. So yaI would like to thank my loyal readers, those who post review and those who don't (I know ppl are just shy, I'm like that too) * or she's lying to herself at no one's reading but that's okay I write for me. * It means a lot to me that ppl take time out of their day just to read this story. If you have any comments or questions please leave them on the Review board, reviews are encouraging so if you want to leave them consider it your good deed for the day and forget feeding the homeless person (JUST KIDDING DON"T KILL ME!) Love ya all, laters!
