Author's Notes: Thanks so much for the reviews everyone! I'm sorry the
update took awhile, I had a hard time thinking how to set up this chapter.
Cole-Phoebe-lover: Wow, I've never made anyone cry before; I guess I should be glad this story moves you so much! Thanks for letting me know you liked it.
Aniah: That's exactly how I feel; stupid writers.
Robyn: Grab more of 'em, cause reviews make my day!
Bubbly*pop: Don't worry, Cole will be taking an active role; I just have to set things up some. And I like that fifty-reviews idea there. I love Cole too!
Beba: Glad you like it!
Plasmic Female: The first time I got the lyrics for Wherever You Will Go, I thought instantly of Cole and Phoebe; now I can't listen to it without getting all depressed, lol.
Scott Pike: Don't worry, I've always thought that Cole and Phoebe WERE meant to be, despite what the evil writers did.
Chapter 1: Twice-Blessed Child
At first, I couldn't stand being so close to you, and yet so far away. Death had never been a barrier between us before, but this time I was helpless; there was nothing I could fight against, nothing for me to do but watch over you. I've never been the type of guy who could sit on the sidelines, and I was convinced that this was some new sort of torture devised by the Powers That Be to punish me more for what I had done.
Nothing could punish me more than seeing you go through your own grief and pain alone. I could tell that you were hiding it from your sisters, purposely changing the subject whenever any of them mentioned me. I think that they wanted to believe it as well; I heard Paige telling Piper she was so relieved that the "Cole Problem" was finally in the past. I didn't blame her; after all, she had only known me as a demon and a madman.
Of course, they didn't see how you cried yourself to sleep at night. I heard you tell Piper that you had thrown away the pictures of us together, but I knew otherwise; I had seen you place our photos in your bottom dresser drawer. You took out the same picture I had sitting on my dresser, the one where we were laughing together. I knew what you were feeling as you gazed at that picture; I also knew that you were too proud, and too frightened to admit that you still loved me. You didn't want to say that you had loved a demon; you were afraid it would be a sign of weakness, that somehow it would make you a part of the evil that had destroyed us. I wished that I could tell you that it was all right, that you didn't have to deny our love. I knew your sisters well enough to be sure that they would try to understand you; they wouldn't push you away as you had pushed me.
Time passed, and gradually you started crying less and less; the picture stayed in the drawer for longer amounts of time. In the past, I would not have wanted you to move on; with my demonic half obliterated, however, I was instead glad that you were beginning to enjoy life again. I realized that what I really wanted was for you to be happy, and that showed the depth of my love for you.
You hadn't cried over me for weeks when Piper's baby was born; I have to admit, I was scared that you were going to die that night, along with your sisters. Instead, I ended up watching the next generation of Halliwells being born. It brought an ache inside of me again, to see Piper and Leo holding their son, while Paige and you gathered around them. I did not imagine the brief look of loss that passed over your features; I knew you were thinking of the same thing I was, of the child that we had lost. I would never lose my guilt for what happened to our own son, or the pain that betrayal had caused you.
Still, in a moment the grief you held was gone from sight, and you were paying full attention to the twice-blessed child. In the weeks that followed, I was the only one to understand your obsession with him; you felt that this child was one you had to protect, because you hadn't been able to save your own. I wanted so badly to tell you that it wasn't your fault; it was mine, mine for being too weak to combat the Source inside of me! I destroyed us, Phoebe, and for that I will suffer for all time.
I must admit that I had no fondness for Jason when you started dating him; I didn't trust him, and it alarmed me that you did. Of course, there was nothing I could do to stop you as your relationship with him deepened. I had a feeling that he wouldn't accept you for what you were, if you ever told him.
A month or so after you started going out with your boss, something happened that would change destiny once again. The day started off innocently enough; Wyatt was finally beginning to sleep through the night, much to the joy of Leo and Piper. The whole family was in the kitchen for breakfast, which Piper had cooked. Leo was warming a bottle for his son, you were hurrying to finish a column for Jason, and Paige was reading the newspaper.
Suddenly, the infant began to cry loudly, his force-field going up. Piper turned, ready to blast away, but there wasn't a demon in sight. Being a spirit gave me the advantage of being able to see what was invisible to those living; a demon was putting something into Wyatt's bottle. He shimmered out once his work was done, and Wyatt stopped crying. Leo and Piper exchanged looks, no doubt wondering what that was all about.
Piper lifted up her son to feed him his bottle as you all searched the house for a demon that you would not find. Eventually, everyone returned to the kitchen. Wyatt appeared to be sleeping in his mother's arms, but when I watched him closely I noticed that his chest was no longer rising and falling as it normally did. Something was very, very wrong.
"Wyatt's not breathing!" Piper noticed it seconds after I did, her eyes widening in fear. Leo took a step towards them, and at that instant two demons along with a Darklighter materialized in the room. Paige managed to reach and grab a vanquishing potion from the counter, killing one of the demons. The Darklighter let loose an arrow from his crossbow that hit Leo in the stomach. Piper screamed in outrage, setting down her child and proceeding to blow up both the Darklighter and the remaining demon. The surprise attack had caught everyone off-guard, and it took a few moments for the Charmed Ones to react.
"Paige, heal him!" Piper pulled the arrow from Leo's body, and Paige knelt over him. She still had trouble healing, and I could tell that everyone was just praying this would work. The newest sister took the Whitelighter's hand, and what small amounts of strength he had left flowed into her, giving her the power to heal him.
"Piper, the baby." You were standing over Wyatt, panic in your voice. I knew that you were thinking that you couldn't lose another one. Piper rushed over to her son as Leo sat up.
"Oh my God, he's turning blue! Leo!" The infant's skin had a tinge of blue to it, his body deathly still. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I witnessed his spirit rising from his form. Leo started healing, and very slowly the baby's spirit was drawn back into his body.
When he opened his eyes, they focused on the spot where I was standing. At first I thought I was imagining things, but Wyatt's gaze followed me when I moved to the left, and I realized that something important had taken place. Because of what had just happened, and how he had briefly been in the spirit world, Wyatt Halliwell, the twice-blessed child, could see me.
Cole-Phoebe-lover: Wow, I've never made anyone cry before; I guess I should be glad this story moves you so much! Thanks for letting me know you liked it.
Aniah: That's exactly how I feel; stupid writers.
Robyn: Grab more of 'em, cause reviews make my day!
Bubbly*pop: Don't worry, Cole will be taking an active role; I just have to set things up some. And I like that fifty-reviews idea there. I love Cole too!
Beba: Glad you like it!
Plasmic Female: The first time I got the lyrics for Wherever You Will Go, I thought instantly of Cole and Phoebe; now I can't listen to it without getting all depressed, lol.
Scott Pike: Don't worry, I've always thought that Cole and Phoebe WERE meant to be, despite what the evil writers did.
Chapter 1: Twice-Blessed Child
At first, I couldn't stand being so close to you, and yet so far away. Death had never been a barrier between us before, but this time I was helpless; there was nothing I could fight against, nothing for me to do but watch over you. I've never been the type of guy who could sit on the sidelines, and I was convinced that this was some new sort of torture devised by the Powers That Be to punish me more for what I had done.
Nothing could punish me more than seeing you go through your own grief and pain alone. I could tell that you were hiding it from your sisters, purposely changing the subject whenever any of them mentioned me. I think that they wanted to believe it as well; I heard Paige telling Piper she was so relieved that the "Cole Problem" was finally in the past. I didn't blame her; after all, she had only known me as a demon and a madman.
Of course, they didn't see how you cried yourself to sleep at night. I heard you tell Piper that you had thrown away the pictures of us together, but I knew otherwise; I had seen you place our photos in your bottom dresser drawer. You took out the same picture I had sitting on my dresser, the one where we were laughing together. I knew what you were feeling as you gazed at that picture; I also knew that you were too proud, and too frightened to admit that you still loved me. You didn't want to say that you had loved a demon; you were afraid it would be a sign of weakness, that somehow it would make you a part of the evil that had destroyed us. I wished that I could tell you that it was all right, that you didn't have to deny our love. I knew your sisters well enough to be sure that they would try to understand you; they wouldn't push you away as you had pushed me.
Time passed, and gradually you started crying less and less; the picture stayed in the drawer for longer amounts of time. In the past, I would not have wanted you to move on; with my demonic half obliterated, however, I was instead glad that you were beginning to enjoy life again. I realized that what I really wanted was for you to be happy, and that showed the depth of my love for you.
You hadn't cried over me for weeks when Piper's baby was born; I have to admit, I was scared that you were going to die that night, along with your sisters. Instead, I ended up watching the next generation of Halliwells being born. It brought an ache inside of me again, to see Piper and Leo holding their son, while Paige and you gathered around them. I did not imagine the brief look of loss that passed over your features; I knew you were thinking of the same thing I was, of the child that we had lost. I would never lose my guilt for what happened to our own son, or the pain that betrayal had caused you.
Still, in a moment the grief you held was gone from sight, and you were paying full attention to the twice-blessed child. In the weeks that followed, I was the only one to understand your obsession with him; you felt that this child was one you had to protect, because you hadn't been able to save your own. I wanted so badly to tell you that it wasn't your fault; it was mine, mine for being too weak to combat the Source inside of me! I destroyed us, Phoebe, and for that I will suffer for all time.
I must admit that I had no fondness for Jason when you started dating him; I didn't trust him, and it alarmed me that you did. Of course, there was nothing I could do to stop you as your relationship with him deepened. I had a feeling that he wouldn't accept you for what you were, if you ever told him.
A month or so after you started going out with your boss, something happened that would change destiny once again. The day started off innocently enough; Wyatt was finally beginning to sleep through the night, much to the joy of Leo and Piper. The whole family was in the kitchen for breakfast, which Piper had cooked. Leo was warming a bottle for his son, you were hurrying to finish a column for Jason, and Paige was reading the newspaper.
Suddenly, the infant began to cry loudly, his force-field going up. Piper turned, ready to blast away, but there wasn't a demon in sight. Being a spirit gave me the advantage of being able to see what was invisible to those living; a demon was putting something into Wyatt's bottle. He shimmered out once his work was done, and Wyatt stopped crying. Leo and Piper exchanged looks, no doubt wondering what that was all about.
Piper lifted up her son to feed him his bottle as you all searched the house for a demon that you would not find. Eventually, everyone returned to the kitchen. Wyatt appeared to be sleeping in his mother's arms, but when I watched him closely I noticed that his chest was no longer rising and falling as it normally did. Something was very, very wrong.
"Wyatt's not breathing!" Piper noticed it seconds after I did, her eyes widening in fear. Leo took a step towards them, and at that instant two demons along with a Darklighter materialized in the room. Paige managed to reach and grab a vanquishing potion from the counter, killing one of the demons. The Darklighter let loose an arrow from his crossbow that hit Leo in the stomach. Piper screamed in outrage, setting down her child and proceeding to blow up both the Darklighter and the remaining demon. The surprise attack had caught everyone off-guard, and it took a few moments for the Charmed Ones to react.
"Paige, heal him!" Piper pulled the arrow from Leo's body, and Paige knelt over him. She still had trouble healing, and I could tell that everyone was just praying this would work. The newest sister took the Whitelighter's hand, and what small amounts of strength he had left flowed into her, giving her the power to heal him.
"Piper, the baby." You were standing over Wyatt, panic in your voice. I knew that you were thinking that you couldn't lose another one. Piper rushed over to her son as Leo sat up.
"Oh my God, he's turning blue! Leo!" The infant's skin had a tinge of blue to it, his body deathly still. I felt my breath catch in my throat as I witnessed his spirit rising from his form. Leo started healing, and very slowly the baby's spirit was drawn back into his body.
When he opened his eyes, they focused on the spot where I was standing. At first I thought I was imagining things, but Wyatt's gaze followed me when I moved to the left, and I realized that something important had taken place. Because of what had just happened, and how he had briefly been in the spirit world, Wyatt Halliwell, the twice-blessed child, could see me.
