Syaoran

Chapter 8-Yami

It was several nights after the first immortal's appearance when the memory came back to me. I knew I was a pharoah, but I do not remember what I had done in the past.

The child did not speak much to me about my life. I only knew the little he told us about Akira in the past. And even then by his nickname, Yami Bakura, or Zei, which either means thief or madman, Syaoran never told us which. But then the memory struck me so suddenly I was shakened by it.

The night when Syaoran tried to leave us, I stayed in Yugi's room just inspecting things. It didn't occur to me that I had never paid attention to his room before, giving Yugi the reason to worry. I was too deep in my thoughts to realize that until he spoke.

" Yami, are you alright?" He asked, quiet, as if afraid to disturb.
" Oh?" I blinked. Then I sighed. " Oh. Hai, I'm alright. Just...remembering."
" About Yami Bakura?" Yugi asked.
" Iie." I admitted. " Just something in the past. My past."
" Care to share?" Yugi smiled.
" It's awfully long. Are you in for long stories?" I asked. " I hear that you don't like History in school."
" Blah, listening about Chairman Mao? No way. But I'm more interested in ancient history." There was a queer smirk on him.

I smiled. " I was just remembering a slave a long time ago." I began. " My servant. That time our politics and economy are based on slavery, you know that. So it wasn't strange that I had a slave, being a pharoah." I sat down by his bed as he pulled his legs up to listen more comfortably.

" I didn't remember it until recently. He did look a little like Syaoran, same eyes. His hair was blacker though, much blacker. His skin was pale. But he had the same glow to his eyes, a glow that dims from time to time. Long thin neck, I wonder how he managed to grow it. He was very little, a little kid, very cute, now that I think of it. He was short and small, awfully young. Eleven? Twelve? Maybe even ten, when I first met him. He looks small, but he was awfully strong." I chuckled.
" Kind of like Syaoran." Yugi laughed.
" Kind of like you!" I laughed back. " Although you don't have his strength, iie."
" Hey, it's not my fault!" Yugi sulked.
" Don't worry. I'm only teasing you." I sighed. " You do have a strong heart. Just like he did so many years ago. I remember his name was Tarkot. Tarkot. But I didn't know it at first. We met when he was found in the palace grounds. It was forbidden for any peasant to pass through it, and when the guards found him they took him to me to be judged."
" As he was young, and very very defiant, I couldn't exactly punish him in any way. Had I been in a better mood that day perhaps I would have let him go. But he was so haughty, so defiant, perhaps because he was terrified, I didn't let him go-he worsened my temper. So I kept him. I don't know why, I just did."
" So that's how he became your slave? Just like that? Was he an Egyptian?" Yugi asked.
" Hai." I answered the first two. " But he was not an Egyptian. He looks like an Asian, I know he's not an egyptian but I never asked."
" Why not?"
" Because he was a slave."
" Oh."
" He was a little child. I don't know what I was thinking. At first I didn't see him for quite a while, nearly forgot about him, until one time he fell into my room."
" Fell?"
" Quite frankly. Someone pushed him in. He got up and saw me. I was right behind him, curious to see what had happened. It was a child of one of the scribes, who was awfully proud and...more or less of a bully. Tarkot just stared at me for a minute, studying me, and then, as if satisfied that I wouldn't do anything, simply ran off."
" But you didn't let the other kid go did you?" Yugi asked.
" Iie. I gave him a stern warning. The poor child went away terrified. He couldn't have been more than thirteen."
" How old were you then?"
" Two years older."
" Whoa."
" Hai." I nodded. " I think I was fifteen or so. But that time fifteen years is a longer time then they consider nowadays. We don't live until we're eighty. A fifty year old man would be considered a really old man. I was young, but not as young as you think. I was considered an adult by then."
" Oh."
" In any case," I sighed, " I went to look for Tarkot. I just called him, " Slaveboy!"" I chuckled a little at the memory. " Tarkot immediately froze, and stared at me, as if wondering what was going on this time. The servants fell silent at the sight of me. There were several slaves that were boys, so they didn't know which one I was calling.
" At first I just went out into the garden with him. He was not allowed in the palace gardens so I had to beckon to him. It seemed that Tarkot had become a lot more obedient during his stay. But one thing remained clear to me from that day.'
" What?" Yugi asked.
" That he will never belong to me." I chuckled. " It sounds strange, doesn't it? I owned him. He was my slave. I order him. I could have him whipped, punished. I can give him chores or work. But he told me he will never belong to me."
" That made you angry?"
" Hai, it made me angry. I didn't yell at him; he was so small. But I made it clear that I was angry with him. He didn't care though. He was no longer afraid of me anymore. Then he asked me the strangest question.
' Do you know who you are?' He asked me. And of course, I laughed at the question. ' I am Bel um Fel, of course! The Pharoah of the Egyptian Lands! The Living Horus! Of course I know who I am!'
But my answer did not seem to satisfy him. ' Are you only the Pharoah and the Living Horus?' It was so bold I was surprised. " Are you only the ruler of Egypt, my lord?'

I was surprised, and also amused. ' Then what are you, my young child? What have you to speak this way to the one who rules you?'
' I am one of those who made you Pharoah, my lord.' He answered, almost timidly. ' If those like myself do not exist, you would not be pharoah.'

At first I did not understand. And then suddenly I did. I was only pharoah because the people believed I was pharoah. I was only the ruler because I had people to rule. If Egypt was just an empty piece of land, then I would not be able to rule. It was those like Tarkot that had made up Egypt, it was those like Tarkot that I had ruled over. It shamed me that I did not realize it sooner, and so I countered,
' What right do you have to be proud of yourself, my child?' I asked. " What brings you such honor?'
' I know who I am.' He answered very quietly. ' I know who I am and who I was. I will not forget myself. And because I know who I am I know that you are not Horus, living or no. You could have been in my stead should fate have twisted the loom.'

This rashfulness could have costed him his head if I had been in any other mood. I studied this smart child for a long moment and I saw the fear in his eyes, but behind the fear there was nothing. No anger, no hatred, no happiness or sorrow. There was no respect or pride. Just an empty fear at something he did not understand.

Afterwards I knew I liked him." I smiled again, sighing. " Afterwards I knew I liked him. We talked some time afterwards. He learned to respect me, but always his words were the same when I asked him who he was. ' I am myself. And only I know who I am and shall remember.'

I taught him myself how to read and write. Sometimes I took him with me at parties and allowed him to sit beside me. We could have been friends if I had been any other person. I was not cold. I was not cruel. I was simply a ruler, so I did not hide the fact that I was fond of the child. Tarkot did not reveal whether he loved or hated me. At first it seemed that he only endured me. At least, as apparent as he could make it.

Then one time I was eating. Tarkot gave me a very vague warning, but still I caught it.
' Careful.' He said. ' Some foods are bitter. Some have been tainted.'

Of course, when dealing with someone like him, I took the warning to be dealing with foods only. And then I realized that he was also talking about the food, but there was something else.

There was a traitor among us. Some people are bitter. Some had been tainted. The message was so vague no one caught it. But I was no fool and he wasn't either. I didn't catch the traitor until one night Tarkot sent me a box with a boar's heart with a knife stacked in it. It was so gruesome and smelled so awful the nobles adviced me to kill him for such impudence. I told them I'll think about it, but I was thinking about the heart. Then it hit me. Someone was planning to stab me, ' in the heart with a dagger', and Syaoran simply risked being misinterpreted to tell me this without seeming to.

I kept awake that night, with a few guards in my room. In the dark a figure slipped through the door and made its way to the bed where I should have been. The guards grabbed him. He was sentenced to death."

" Wow. He's smart." Yugi's eyes were shining in admiration. " But you're smart too, figuring that out."
" Still I didn't know his name." I went on. " I didn't until one of the servants talked to me about him. She was a babbler, very sweet and pretty but talks too much. Ai, she does. But I learned some things about him." I slipped into silence, suddenly shocked numb.
" What is it?" Yugi asked.
" Oh my god," I covered my mouth, gasping. " I think...I think Syaoran was Tarkot. Syaroan is Tarkot! They are living parallel lives right now, parallel lives..."
" Parallel lives?" Then Yugi got it. " I'll get paper and see what we can make of it."
" Hai, do that." I nodded. Yugi sat down at the desk, turning on the light, and ordered me. " Tell me the first thing that you know."
" He was born into a peasant family," I began. Yugi wrote, ' born as peasant'.
" By the time he's three, his father committed a crime. My father found out he was attempting to steal the riches from one of the tombs. He killed him."
' Father a thief and executed when he was three', was what Yugi wrote.
" He had a mother and two sisters, two brothers, all older than he." I continued. " Worked hard for his mother. When he was ten there was a plague, which took his family and friends. He ran to the castle grounds and the guards captured him."
" Alright," Yugi sighed. " Anything else?"
" That's it for the parallelism." I closed my eyes. Yugi encouraged me to go on.

" The whole Shadow Game argument began when Tarkot saw my summoning cards." I closed my eyes again, remembering the whole scene very clearly. " At that time only the rich were allowed to play. I found out he had no idea what the game was and figured the knowledge of it wouldn't hurt.

At first he was simply interested in the monsters themselves. He found several very pretty, his words were. I was amused, but also a little annoyed. I decided to end this foolishness and teach to him what the cards were really about.

He understood immediately. But he didn't understand the nature of the game. It wasn't his fault really, Tarkot did not persuade me to teach him, nor did he beg. I did it on my own. I told him the rules of the game. Kind of like to Syaoran." I swallowed. " And he beat me on the first try. I was going easy on him, really easy, so I wasn't really surprised. Tarkot decided he wasn't interested in the game, so it was like that for a while.

Then one day he picked up the cards and muttered something about ' The End of Days'. I was slightly troubled over this comment because he had the reputation of meaning more than he said. He mentioned the same comment several times when he picked up the summoning cards in my room. And then for a while I had to settle matters among nobles in Egypt.

Then one day, during lunch, Tarkot came to me and told it to me directly. The monsters are dangerous! You have to stop it! The game could mean the end of Egypt, or your life, for that matter. And for a minute I didn't know whether to be amused or angry. A servant! A slave! Telling me this! Ha! What's the pharoah for, if he cannot tell what is dangerous and what is not? What position is the servant to tell me this? So for a minute I was silent, and then some of the nobles began to laugh at him. I decided to laugh too. Tarkot retreated, completely defeated, for that round. I shook my head at him and went on eating.

That night when I was preparing for bed Tarkot came to me again. This time, I felt I had the right to be annoyed, and I scolded him for his boldness. I knew I was wrong; Tarkot wasn't bold at all. He pleaded to me with a certain desperation in his eyes, but I chose to ignore it. I still remember that look, the sad glow, the desperate gaze. And when I rebuked him, he retreated, again defeated, a sad look, a pleading look in his eyes, before he disappeared outside.

This went on for some time, until I was very angry with him. He didn't dare face me again, not like that, pleading. Instead, one day, I was free for once, wondering if I should go on a hunting trip or not, when Tarkot challenged me to a duel."

" He challenged you?" Yugi asked, astonished. " But...he had the nerve?"
" Hai." I nodded. " If anyone is brave enough to do that, it is Tarkot. Akira, well, Akira did it out of revenge, not out of courage. Tarkot challenged me to a duel. I have no idea where he got his summoning cards from. I was angry at him, but I accepted, wanting to teach the youngster a lesson. He gave half of the price of the game; if he wins, I stop the Shadow Games, and if I win, he'll have to accept any kind of punishment. I wasn't going to lose. The Shadow Games were a source of my power. I will not let him take that away. But Tarkot was a good player. He had a determined look in his eyes, and in the end, he nearly won. But I pulled a trick, snatching victory out of defeat. He lost all of his lifepoints.

I sentenced him to a hundred lashes and two nights in the dungeon, so angry I was that he dared challenge me after annoying me with his pesky warnings. Tarkot accepted without a word, without a word of desperation. He went quietly. The next time I saw him there was a complete change in him. He looked like someone who has gone insane. Pale and sick he looked, his eyes lost their glow, so instead they were dull, like unpolished stone, or rusted silver. When I call to him he started, as if waiting for another blow. I realized I had punished him too severely.

After a while it seemed he couldn't take it. He tried to run away. The guards found him and dragged him in late at night. I was woken by all the noise and I demanded what was going on. He had snuck out and was nearly out of the palace grounds when the guards caught him. I was angry, and rightly so. He had challenged me, and yet he commited another crime! But my punishment was not justified though. I sentenced him to another full day in the dungeon.

This time he went awfully quiet. He did not speak a word, did not respond to my questions, even if I order him to answer when he was asked. For a while I pondered on how to cure him, but those thoughts vanished when he challenged me to another duel. I was reluctant, I didn't want to be angry at him again. But I saw the familiar glow in his eyes. The conditions were the same.

It was such a close call! I was so close to losing, in the end I won, one to zero. I daresay there was never such a score in a game before, not a game like this. I was shakened, so shakened I couldn't think clearly, but somehow I punished him badly.'

' Shortly after," My voice cracked a little. " Shortly after-he was such a smart child Yugi. Shortly after he just...gave up. He started to sway one day. At first I thought he was drunk, that he had drank some forbidden wine. But there was no smell of alcohol on him. Then my mind clicked. When I felt his forehead I did not have to feel my own to know he was hot. Hot! He was scorching, flushing deep red. Then in a few days he just collapsed and couldn't do anything anymore. He was so delirious, calling to his mother, his siblings, his father, his friends, naming them one by one and telling them all about life in the palace as if they were still alive. I remember going to his room. I never had done anything like that for any slave that was ill. But I went to his room. He was telling his dead memories that he had tried so hard to save the pharoah, but the pharoah wouldn't listen. I entered the room, wanting to tell him that I will listen. And at the sight of me-the sight of me was the last sight he saw. And I rushed to his bed, repeating over and over, " I'm sorry, I'm sorry Tarkot, I'm so sorry for everything." I felt tears trickle down my cheeks. " I'm so sorry for not listening to you, for yelling at you, for punishing you, please, forgive me!"

But he didn't forgive me and never had since. No matter how many times I apologized-I had never apologized to anyone before, but to him I apologized so many times, I almost thought my apologies would be enough. But...

He never woke up."

Yugi was silent for a long moment. We stared at each other for a while, and I felt so scared all of the sudden. I realized what it must have been like for Syaoran, remembering his past and all its blood and horror. Regret, guilt, horror...



Yugi wrote what I told him and I had never felt so guilty. I almost wished I didn't remember it.

" Li Syaoran." Yugi announced. " Born into a rich family," He said it so I could forget. " We don't know about his father. Had four sisters, no brothers. Also four siblings, I see. At age ten twelve guys murdered his family and friends. Oh my god this is freaky." Yugi shook his head. " But Yami, there's an empty space here. Do you think something happened to his father?"
" Maybe." I answered.
" And then, another thing, he ran away over here and we found him, or rather this time it was Ryou."
" And it was with his will." I looked over Yugi's shoulder.
" The events are different but the outcomes are the same." Yugi pointed. " He was in a peasant family before, but now Syaoran is born into a rich one. We don't know about his father so we can't compare. Had four siblings, although before he had two sisters and two brothers, while this time they were all sisters."
" Age ten there was a plague in Egypt," I pointed. " Age ten some other evil came."
" Age ten his family and friends died of disease, age ten his family and friends were murdered. Both died, anyway." Yugi shuddered. " All these deaths. Tarkot ran away, Syaoran ran away. Tarkot was caught and captured. Syaoran was caught and invited."
" You can say that."
" How old was Tarkot when he died?"
" Twelve? I don't know."

Yugi leaned back. " It's not your fault Yami." Yugi continued. " Maybe it was some other reason. Something might have happened to him. The Shadow Games shouldn't have been enough to kill him if he is a strong willed boy."
" Maybe." I mumbled.
" But I guess that is not important right now." Yugi leaned forward and I looked over his shoulder. " We know that Tarkot tried to escape many times. Maybe Syaoran would try to escape for a different reason."

I didn't like that.

" And since we also know that the twelve immortals are still after Syaoran, I guess we could say that Tarkot died of the plague."
" I never thought of that before..." I blinked. " And perhaps since the Shadow Games were partly responsible for Tarkot's death, perhaps Duel Monsters would be too..."
" Maybe." Yugi looked up at me. " But I'm still puzzled here. What about Syaoran's father? There's an empty space here. We never heard him speak of his father before."
" Iie, we didn't." I blinked thoughtfully. " Perhaps...his father died when he was three. But since the Li clan was a respectable clan I doubt he died of capital punishment."
" I doubt it also." Yugi looked at me. " Do you think...we should ask?"
" Maybe." I shrugged. " If Tarkot's father played any role in his death, maybe Syaoran's father will too. We ought to know anyway."

But in the end it wasn't us that Syaoran told the story of his father to. It was actually Akira.