Chapter 18-Anzu
It was somewhere around midnight when we first met Yue.
It was a dark night, with the full moon but no stars. All of us had found ourselves at the radio tower, with petals of flowers fluttering down like rain.
He was a cold and divine figure. There was an aura of power and beauty within him, a grace that cannot be outdone. But he was so cold, so unlike his false form Yukito. Syaoran had been right all along. We stood there, awed. We saw Syaoran, standing at the edge of the building. The girl was nowhere to be seen. We saw him, staff in hand, with a cloak around his shoulders, flapping in the wind. Yue faded. Syaoran faded. All of us woke at the same time.
None of us knew what it meant. But we all recognized Yue, and we all felt something was going to happen. Something strange. But I still remember that dream, the magnificent angel standing in the moonlight, his cold eyes bearing down upon us. But he wasn't looking at us. He was looking at Syaoran.
It was in a meadow when we first met Yue, face to face. He looked less
mystical, but there was an aura of coldness about him that didn't exist in the dream.
Syaoran would have none of it. No matter how much Touya and Seto tried, Syaoran wouldn't face Yue. Yue didn't seem to care, though. His face was completely emotionless, not even acknowledging us. His eyes were hard. Were they always like that? I had wondered.
Yue had his arms folded in a bored stature, as if purely not interested in Syaoran. And the poor child had no intention of meeting Yue either.
None of us were very comfortable. Yue seemed just too cold and aloof. And Syaoran would have none of that. So finally, Touya gave up and Syaoran just ran out of there, followed by Seto.
" Why didn't you help me?" Touya asked Yue. Yue just looked at him and said
nothing.
" Can't you see the poor kid needs help?"
" Of course I see." Yue said coldly. Touya was not daunted, though.
" He's afraid of you."
" I know."
" Well? Aren't you going to do anything about it?"
Yue shifted a little and folded his wings. " He can think what he will."
" He's your new master Yue."
At this Yue's expression changed slightly, as if annoyed.
" Sakura is my master."
" She's gone Yue. Syaoran has the book. And remember how it looks like? It
changed. Can't you accept it?"
At this Yue said nothing. And for the first time we saw how Touya looked like when he was angry. He became even colder than Yue was, and a perfect imitation of Seto Kaiba at his worst.
" You've always been unable to accept the inevitable." He said in a dangerous voice. " And you've always blamed everything on everyone else. Did you forget? It was you who held Syaoran back, you who prevented him from going. It was you who didn't allow him to hand himself over, even as he begged ceaselessly so that the others would be spared. And now you tell me that it was Syaoran's fault that Sakura was killed. That Eriol was killed. That everyone in that park was killed save for Syaoran, Kero, and yourself. Syaoran was traumatized."
Yue said nothing. He remained expressionless, leaning against the tree with an air of boredom and annoyance. But Touya did not stop.
" He's the only thing left of Sakura, Yue. Are you going to let that go now?" He asked. At this Yue raised an eyebrow and stared at Touya.
Suddenly, Yami gasped, jolted and fell to his knees. Yugi hurriedly helped him
up.
" What is it?" I asked.
" Tarkot." Yami closed his eyes and shook his head. " This was what happened to
Tarkot. Tarkot..."
" Slowly Yami, are you alright?" I asked, helping him up. Yami nodded, and looked
at me, clinging onto my arms to support himself.
" One of his friends appeared in the palace grounds." He swallowed. " He wanted to
kill Tarkot. Oh my god..." Yami turned pale, as pale as snow, and we all looked
towards Touya and Yue.
The Moon guardian had perked up and had stared at Yami with those cold eyes of his. They were wide and there was a look of doubt in them. Yami didn't know though, and he was staring at me with those red eyes of his, widened with new realization.
" That was after the Shadow Games, Anzu." He was trembling. " He had found out about their danger. Oh my god, that was the reason he was trying so hard to protect me-" He broke down into sobs.
It was the first time we had ever seen Yami this way, so weak, like a little
child. I was trying to support him along with Yugi.
" But there was more, there was more, what is it?" He lamented, and I tried to
soothe him the best I could. Slowly his sobs died down and he was simply shaking,
although less and less. I looked up to see Yue, and there was a great change in him.
Instead of the cold, emotionless, bored figure, there now stood a doubtful, conflicted
human being, staring at Seto who was encouraging a pale child to step out of the
past and into the future.
Syaoran was a sensitive child. At Yue's rejection he was deeply wounded at
heart. He sought Seto for comfort but eventually Seto was unable to help him any
longer. So Syaoran turned to me.
But it was too late by then. Because by then Syaoran had closed in. It was not until then, did we see the Li Syaoran of Tomoeda.
" Konnichiwa." I smiled. " How's that school of yours?"
" Boring." Syaoran answered bitterly. " Time is all wasted on lectures."
" Well, I guess in Tomoeda it's different, hai?"
" We don't even do anything." Syaoran complained. " In Tomoeda we have clubs.
There are cheerleading programs and soccer programs. Here after school we
just...duel."
" What can be more fun than that?" Jou asked.
Syaoran threw him a glare before giving a low growl. " It's boring." He
complained roughly. " You just sit there like a lazy couch potato shouting and
yelling over a stupid game."
" Everyone's a critic." I answered, turning back to my book.
We were slightly uncomfortable with this change. We tried our best to tolerate it, but it was getting harder and harder.
" How come Duel Monsters have to exist?" Syaoran grumbled. " In Tarkot's time
they started the plague, anyway."
" They did?" I answered absently, not really realizing what Syaoran said.
" Hai." Syaoran answered, disgusted. " They taunt you and lure you until you're
addicted. And then they start working magic. Those monsters have a mind of their
own off the battlefield, good heavens. And unfortunately the disease was highly
contagious."
" Oh really." I was not interested. Syaoran ignored me though.
" They start chewing at you. There are different forms. Some people bleed to death
from a small cut, like my mother, and that kind of thing is not genetic. Some people
couldn't digest the food they eat. They all go through two stages and then die.
Wala."
" Wonderful."
Syaoran took out a deck of cards and went through them.
" Where did you get that?" I asked, interested for the first time that day.
" Found it littered on the streets. Some loser spilled it all. I waited for about half an
hour and decided no one is coming to fetch them. There are some strange cards
here. Curse of Dragon? Reaper of Cards? What the-yuck! The Great Moth looks
disgusting! And this cuccoon thing is too! Some people draw this stuff."
" Kero said something about the cards working in this realm. Where is he by the
way?"
" He's at the Kaiba Mansion. Playing with Mokuba. As always. They're playing
video games over there."
" Oh. Not eating?"
" For once. There are two things that matter to Kero in life outside magic. Food,
mostly desserts though, and video games. The lousy stuffed animal doesn't have a
life."
" Who does?" Jou asked. " We all live lousy lives. What can you expect from this
dump?"
" So true." Syaoran muttered. " For once I find people who live worse than I do.
Look at Seto." And I started to listen more and more closely as he went on.
" Fifteen year old boy, got out of college two years ago, working in his own company and taking care of his house as well as his brother. At first I thought I was adding to his burdens. But then I can't leave." Syaoran tossed the cards out, and surprisingly they landed in a neat pile on a table opposite mine. " I can't leave! Kaiba-sama couldn't let me go! If I went it will mean murder! That's that! I can't stay either! He's holding on to me as if I was his one and only source of protein! But then he has that company of his. You remember that time when he fainted! You don't faint from smashing your fingers! He didn't eat at all for a day! What can you expect? And then you have Yami. He doesn't know that I remember everything in my past. Oh gee, let's see, how many times did Tarkot try to escape that cursed palace of his? And how many times did Tarkot try to save Yami? I remember it all. The only problem is, I can't talk to Yami about it, because he is just like me! He fears his past! And Akira and Ryou are finally getting along somehow. I have no idea why. Pegasus-sama is protected from those darn voices because the voices are preoccupied with me!"
He said it with such sarcasm I knew that he was vastly annoyed, but at the same time worried.
" I've come here to escape my past." He blurted out everything just then. " I ran into more people's pasts! And not only that, I run into the past of my past! Isn't that great." He gave us all a fake smile, then grabbed a random book and began reading. I was glad that only Jou and I were there. Jou was tough to beat, and I understood the boy's problems.
" You remember everything?" Jou asked.
" Hai. Everything Yami did, everything Tarkot did, as clear as if it were yesterday."
Syaoran answered. " If Tarkot lived any longer, I'd probably have brain damage."
" Yami's not going to be happy about that." I said softly.
Syaoran put down his book and covered his eyes with his left hand.
" Which was why I never mentioned anything about Tarkot." Syaoran answered
softly. " To tell you the truth, I didn't remember anything until that visit with
Pegasus. That day when Kaho-san was there and everything. When we were
coming back, everything came crashing down, and I could hardly keep from
staggering. It was so strong." Syaoran sighed, quieting.
" I remember the time when I was already at Yami's place. I was Yami's slave." He said in a far away voice. " There came a stranger into the hall and one of the nobles demanded to know who he is. His name was Enmut, one of Tarkot's dearest friends. The only one who survived the plague, after I had ran away from it. I remember that deadly look in his eyes, a look of coldness and rejection, and the minute the eyes met mine they froze as ice froze, with a coldness that can only be hatred.
There are times, Anzu, when love is not strong enough to hold life together, because although many stories speak of it, love is but a piece of Life. Love is strong. Hatred is stronger still. Yet love and hatred are the weakest of the human mind. Tarkot loved Enmut as one loves his dearest brother. Enmut hated Tarkot as one had hated wolves so many years ago. Enmut threatened to kill Tarkot, saying that it was Tarkot's fault that everyone died. That I killed my friends, my brothers and sisters, my mother." Syaoran's face was pale.
" Enmut had a magnificent sword that he must have stolen from one of the pyramids. Yami was wise and he immediately saw danger. It was too late." Syaoran shook his head, holding his face in his hands. " It was too late. Enmut cried to me, then why are you the only one that's alive? Why is it that when I was away in another town, everyone around you perished, while you ran off here, filled with sin, trying to forget your evil deeds as a rich healthy servant in the palace of the living Horus? My lord stepped in the way and scolded Enmut, trying to protect me. But in reality Enmut's job was done. I released my first attack. It was lightning, just like now, and before I knew it Enmut was dead. It did not help Tarkot, and he always remembered those words, had always believed it was his fault his family died, his friends died, and tried to make up for it by attempting to save Yami from himself."
" Yami. Poor Yami. I knew he never meant to hurt me in any way. I know he was
really sorry and he still is. He is scared, you know? He's afraid that I'll rebuke him.
He's afraid that I'll hurt him where it hurts most. I guess the past is what most
people fear. I'm just glad that Sakura died without regrets. I sure wouldn't have that
chance."
" What's there to regret?" I asked. " You didn't do anything wrong."
And then Syaoran pointed directly towards the source of his problem.
" Then why does Yue hate me?"
