"Punk'd"
Written By: Me Who else? Unless you're copyrighting my shit!
Characters:
Avril Lavigne Wannabe-Jane/Prep Announcer Jip Chong-Friend of Wannabe Ashton Kutcher Al Shearer Dax Sheppard Ryan Pinkston
Announcer: Today on Punk'd-
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room.]
(Jane opens the door and sees Avril and Dax kissing. Dax pushes Avril off of him)
Dax: Oh Avril! You bad girl!
(Jane emits in tears)
Jane: Avril how could you!
Announcer: Ooh! That's bad.
[Scene: Ashton's Hideout/Closeup White and Black scene thingy]
Aston: Okay so here's the deal: as you all know, Jane McCormick is biggest damn Avril Lavigne fan on the planet. You may of seen her on Becoming when she remade the "Complicated" video- so we decided-hey! Little starts need some Punkin' too! So we sent "Jane" out to Los Angeles to a free concert with backstage passes and all that good stuff to Avril's concert and told her that Avril Lavigne hand picked her to hang out with her and her only in the "Pick Me: Avril Lavigne Contest". But- what she doesn't know is- in fact Avril hates the damn girl and burns every letter that she sends to her.
Sound Guy: And your point is?
Ashton: Hold a damn second and let me get there! Fuck, Sound Guy you ruined my mojo, now we're going to have to start all over again!
Director: I think we can salvage what we have.
Ashton: You just shut up! The jist of it is- we're going to Punk the hell out of both of them! Avril doesn't know the damn girl is coming but out of the preppy/poser heart of hers she decides to let the girl stay. Then, shit starts happening but we don't want to give that away. Right?
Director: Right.
Ashton: RIGHT!
[Scene: Avril Lavigne's Dressing Room]
(Avril Lavine is sitting down watching Crossroads and wearing an Abercrombie t-shirt singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time". A nock is heard on the door.)
Avril: Hold on!
(Avril jumps up to turn off the tv and stereo while trowing on a arm tee shirt with a tie hooked on simultaneously. She bangs her knee on the table.)
Avril: Oh my gosh! I'm so gonna get a bruise! *Gasp* Will it make my ankles look fat?!
(Another loud knock is heard. Avril opens the door. Dax comes in.)
Avril: Who the hell are you?!
Dax: I'm your next manager. Did- didn't they tell you?
Avril: No they didn't. What happened to Josh Preporan?
Dax: He went to a Snoop Dog concert and was eventually revolted by your face and/or your music and fake propagandic style.
Avril: Oh. Well-
(Jane and Jip Chong run through the door jumping on Avril Lavinge)
Jane: Oh my gosh! It's really you!
Jip Chong: I can't believe I get to hum- touch you!
Avril: Get the fuck off me!
Jane: I have been waiting so long to see you!
Dax: Oh yes! The contest winners!
(Dax pulls Jane And Jip Chong off of Avril.)
Avril: Them?! Oh hell no!
Dax: They won your "Pick Me: Avril Lavigne Contest"!
Jane: I can't believe you hand picked me!
Avril: You're that son of a bitch that's been stalking me!
Jane: You remember me!
(Avril scratches her. Jane looks hurt.)
Jane: Avril! I can't believe you just scratched me!
Dax: Okay that's enough-
Jane: Jip! Avril Lavigne just scratched me!
(Jip Chong and Jane start to jump up and down)
[Scene- Dax in the black/white scene thingy]
Dax: Okay, even I hate them now. And that's a whole lotta hatin' to get me to hate. I'm a anti-hater. Dumbasses.
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]
(Dax and Avril are sitting on the couch talking)
Avril: They're not staying here.
Dax: Avril they have no where to go!
Avril: I don't care, I want them gone!
Dax: We can't send them back until after your concert.
Avril: Why?
Dax: Because their plane doesn't leave until the next day.
Avril: Oh you gotta be shitting me!
Dax: Avril- Avril honey, we don't have money to be throwing around. Either you send them back with your own money or you just let them stay here. (Avril Looks over disgusted) What's it gonna be? Loose a thousand or break even?
Avril: What tickets did they get? The damn pilot seats?
[Scene- Sound Check]
(Avril is on the stage singing loosing grip. Jane and Jip Chong are sitting in the front seats singing along.)
Jip Chong: Avril is so great!
Jane: Her voice is so beutiful!
Jip Chong: No, that's not her real voice. They forbid her from singing live in concert.
Jane: Why?
Jip Chong: Something about the janitors complaining about the tomato clean up after concerts.
Jane: Oh.
(Suddenly the music stops. Dax runs up the side stage to Avril.)
Bob: Fuck you Avril! Whoo!
(Bob busts the window in the back and jumps out running out of the front doors.)
Avril: What the hell?!
Dax: Avril. we uh have a problem.
Avril: What now?
Dax: Bob the sound guy, has quit.
Avril: Again?!
Dax: Good Charlotte this time.
Avril: What are we going to do the concert is tomorrow.
(Jane runs up.)
Jane: I can help! I can help!
Avril: How about you just sit your little fake ass down!
Bob: Fuck you! You damn hipocrite!
Jane: Jip and I know all your songs. And we can work the best CD player easy!
Avril: This isn't a CD player alright, it's a big ass machine.
Jane: Big ass machines are our specialty!
Dax: How much?
Jane: No money! Just maybe a date for my friend Jip Chong.
Avril: Forget this tell them the show's cancled!
(Avril walks of the stage. Dax goes after her.)
Dax: Avril! Avril!
Announcer: Coming up, Avril tries to cope-
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]
(Avril comes in. Jip Chong is dressed in some of her clothes.)
Jip Chong: Don't I look gorgeous!
Announcer: All next on Punk'd.
This is just the beginning! I saw that some people like my work so I decided to make a little more. I'll be adding another chapter soon, but they'll probally come on my small Anti-Avril site first. You can have your little two cents said good or bad and check it out.
Written By: Me Who else? Unless you're copyrighting my shit!
Characters:
Avril Lavigne Wannabe-Jane/Prep Announcer Jip Chong-Friend of Wannabe Ashton Kutcher Al Shearer Dax Sheppard Ryan Pinkston
Announcer: Today on Punk'd-
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room.]
(Jane opens the door and sees Avril and Dax kissing. Dax pushes Avril off of him)
Dax: Oh Avril! You bad girl!
(Jane emits in tears)
Jane: Avril how could you!
Announcer: Ooh! That's bad.
[Scene: Ashton's Hideout/Closeup White and Black scene thingy]
Aston: Okay so here's the deal: as you all know, Jane McCormick is biggest damn Avril Lavigne fan on the planet. You may of seen her on Becoming when she remade the "Complicated" video- so we decided-hey! Little starts need some Punkin' too! So we sent "Jane" out to Los Angeles to a free concert with backstage passes and all that good stuff to Avril's concert and told her that Avril Lavigne hand picked her to hang out with her and her only in the "Pick Me: Avril Lavigne Contest". But- what she doesn't know is- in fact Avril hates the damn girl and burns every letter that she sends to her.
Sound Guy: And your point is?
Ashton: Hold a damn second and let me get there! Fuck, Sound Guy you ruined my mojo, now we're going to have to start all over again!
Director: I think we can salvage what we have.
Ashton: You just shut up! The jist of it is- we're going to Punk the hell out of both of them! Avril doesn't know the damn girl is coming but out of the preppy/poser heart of hers she decides to let the girl stay. Then, shit starts happening but we don't want to give that away. Right?
Director: Right.
Ashton: RIGHT!
[Scene: Avril Lavigne's Dressing Room]
(Avril Lavine is sitting down watching Crossroads and wearing an Abercrombie t-shirt singing "Hit Me Baby One More Time". A nock is heard on the door.)
Avril: Hold on!
(Avril jumps up to turn off the tv and stereo while trowing on a arm tee shirt with a tie hooked on simultaneously. She bangs her knee on the table.)
Avril: Oh my gosh! I'm so gonna get a bruise! *Gasp* Will it make my ankles look fat?!
(Another loud knock is heard. Avril opens the door. Dax comes in.)
Avril: Who the hell are you?!
Dax: I'm your next manager. Did- didn't they tell you?
Avril: No they didn't. What happened to Josh Preporan?
Dax: He went to a Snoop Dog concert and was eventually revolted by your face and/or your music and fake propagandic style.
Avril: Oh. Well-
(Jane and Jip Chong run through the door jumping on Avril Lavinge)
Jane: Oh my gosh! It's really you!
Jip Chong: I can't believe I get to hum- touch you!
Avril: Get the fuck off me!
Jane: I have been waiting so long to see you!
Dax: Oh yes! The contest winners!
(Dax pulls Jane And Jip Chong off of Avril.)
Avril: Them?! Oh hell no!
Dax: They won your "Pick Me: Avril Lavigne Contest"!
Jane: I can't believe you hand picked me!
Avril: You're that son of a bitch that's been stalking me!
Jane: You remember me!
(Avril scratches her. Jane looks hurt.)
Jane: Avril! I can't believe you just scratched me!
Dax: Okay that's enough-
Jane: Jip! Avril Lavigne just scratched me!
(Jip Chong and Jane start to jump up and down)
[Scene- Dax in the black/white scene thingy]
Dax: Okay, even I hate them now. And that's a whole lotta hatin' to get me to hate. I'm a anti-hater. Dumbasses.
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]
(Dax and Avril are sitting on the couch talking)
Avril: They're not staying here.
Dax: Avril they have no where to go!
Avril: I don't care, I want them gone!
Dax: We can't send them back until after your concert.
Avril: Why?
Dax: Because their plane doesn't leave until the next day.
Avril: Oh you gotta be shitting me!
Dax: Avril- Avril honey, we don't have money to be throwing around. Either you send them back with your own money or you just let them stay here. (Avril Looks over disgusted) What's it gonna be? Loose a thousand or break even?
Avril: What tickets did they get? The damn pilot seats?
[Scene- Sound Check]
(Avril is on the stage singing loosing grip. Jane and Jip Chong are sitting in the front seats singing along.)
Jip Chong: Avril is so great!
Jane: Her voice is so beutiful!
Jip Chong: No, that's not her real voice. They forbid her from singing live in concert.
Jane: Why?
Jip Chong: Something about the janitors complaining about the tomato clean up after concerts.
Jane: Oh.
(Suddenly the music stops. Dax runs up the side stage to Avril.)
Bob: Fuck you Avril! Whoo!
(Bob busts the window in the back and jumps out running out of the front doors.)
Avril: What the hell?!
Dax: Avril. we uh have a problem.
Avril: What now?
Dax: Bob the sound guy, has quit.
Avril: Again?!
Dax: Good Charlotte this time.
Avril: What are we going to do the concert is tomorrow.
(Jane runs up.)
Jane: I can help! I can help!
Avril: How about you just sit your little fake ass down!
Bob: Fuck you! You damn hipocrite!
Jane: Jip and I know all your songs. And we can work the best CD player easy!
Avril: This isn't a CD player alright, it's a big ass machine.
Jane: Big ass machines are our specialty!
Dax: How much?
Jane: No money! Just maybe a date for my friend Jip Chong.
Avril: Forget this tell them the show's cancled!
(Avril walks of the stage. Dax goes after her.)
Dax: Avril! Avril!
Announcer: Coming up, Avril tries to cope-
[Scene- Avril's Dressing Room]
(Avril comes in. Jip Chong is dressed in some of her clothes.)
Jip Chong: Don't I look gorgeous!
Announcer: All next on Punk'd.
This is just the beginning! I saw that some people like my work so I decided to make a little more. I'll be adding another chapter soon, but they'll probally come on my small Anti-Avril site first. You can have your little two cents said good or bad and check it out.
