The Pain
Hermione sat on the floor in the girl's bathroom of her dormitory. Her breathing calmed and her heartbeat slowed. A lazy relaxed smile spread across her face. "How strange," she thought, "I'm so relaxed by this, an expression of the emotions I can't otherwise express." She sat by the toilet, listening to her own breathing, relaxed. Again she fixed her gaze on the blood that was welling up on her shoulder.
Then, re-adjusting her sleeve so it would stay off of the cuts, she picked her razor up again. Slowly, she brought the blade back down to her skin. She pressed its edge to her skin with a fair amount of pressure, and drew it across her skin. It took the blood a moment to begin to show, but when it did, it showed where the nice long scar would be. Hermione tore her eyes from the fresh mark to some of her many old scars and scabs. She had been doing this for a long time.
Then, a fleeting thought passed her mind "Why not end it now? The razor is right here in my hand. How easy it would be to pull it across my wrist in a deep cut then lay down and let my blood flow." But, instead, she stood and looked at herself in the mirror. Her once healthy color of skin had paled. Without make-up the rings under her eyes showed clearly. The hair on her head had naturally straitened, but only just enough to make it a messy blend of wavy, strait, and curly hair. She frowned. "I'm a mess, and that's only speaking for my reflection. No mirror can see inside me…" Very carefully she dabbed the blood on her arm up with toilet paper. She did this a few times, until it stopped flowing. Then she threw the paper in the toilet and flushed it. "Quiet, neat, and clean. Not a sign of what happened. That's how it should be." She stood and flexed. Pulling her sleeve down she reached for her hairbrush and make-up kit.
Hermione was never one to wear much make-up. She figured it was messy and had usually faded by the end of the day anyway, so she didn't bother. Just recently she had been wearing foundation under her eyes to cover the bags from not sleeping. She finished her make-up, satisfied. "Again, not a trace." She tossed the razor in with her make-up. Finally, pulling her hair into a careless bun, she left the bathroom and headed for the library.
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There weren't any classes today, since it was Saturday. Also, the library was almost empty. Everyone was putting their homework off again. Hermione walked over to one of the empty tables and pulled out her potions book. "Damn professor Snape. He always finds a way to give us homework on a weekend." With that thought, she began work on her essay on medicinal mushrooms.
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Ron and Harry walked out onto the quidditch pitch. "Ron, relax," Harry said, "this is just a practice and besides you'll be a brilliant keeper." "I know I know, you've only said that a million and a half times." Ron replied. They both mounted their brooms and took off to meet the rest of the team.
Harry, who was the new captain, said, "It's nice to see that everyone is here on time." At this he look strait at Fred and George who were trying to look nonchalant and failing miserably. They had been late for a lot of practices with the excuse that they were working on their joke shop. "Now, moving right along, we'll begin practicing with the first plan that I showed you last time." The team flew off to their respectful positions as Harry landed to release the bludgers and quaffle.
He threw the quaffle up and the play began. Katie caught it then flew over, dodging the bludgers, and threw it to Angelina. Angelina flew strait for Ron's goals. This should confuse the other team at first, and they'll chase after her to get the ball and then an easy shot at the goal. But then, Angelina tossed the ball and hit it across the pitch with her broomtail. At the other end was Katie today, but either of the other two chasers could catch it. Katie caught the ball and made a shot through the goal. Harry clapped. "That was perfect, let's just hope it works. Now let's move onto the second maneuver…" And so their quidditch practice began.
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With their time on the pitch coming to a close, Harry gathered his teammates and said, "All right, great practice. Now I want every one to run two laps around the pitch and then you can leave." The players set off, including Harry himself. He caught up to Ron. "So, how far are you on that potions essay?" Ron replied, "What?!? I forgot all about it! Oh, wait it's just Saturday and that is due on Monday, right? Okay, I'll work on it after practice…maybe." Harry laughed and they finished their laps. They both then headed for the library, knowing they'd find Hermione there.
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Hermione sat, her essay finally done. She stretched her arms over her head and sighed. "Now on to my million other assignments." She pulled out her transfiguration book. When she sat back up she saw Harry and Ron making their way towards her. They still had on clothes from quidditch practice. "Oh no. I bet they're going to ask me for help on one of their essays. Great, that's all I need." They both took a seat. Ron was the first to say something. "Quidditch practice was great!" Then Harry chimed in with "Yeah. See Ron, I told you that you'd make a great keeper." The Ron again, "However…" "Here it comes," Hermione thought, "they're about to ask me for help." "however," Ron continued, "with practice, we haven't started on our homework." And Harry brought on the final request. "So, would you help us with our potions essay?" "And bingo. Those two are way too predictable."
"Guys, I'm already done with my essay so, no I won't help you. However," Hermione said, indicating a stack of books next to her, "you'll find all the information you need in these five books." The two groaned and Hermione smiled. Then she laughed. "What's so funny." They both chorused. "You…two…remind…me…of the…3rd graders…I helped over the summer." She stuttered between giggles. They both thwacked her on the arm. Unfortunately, Ron hit her on where she had cut herself, sending a burst of pain through her arm. She bit back a cry and instead said "Hey! Well excuse me for telling the truth!" This time she jumped out of her chair before either could hit her. "Well, I've got the books I need for two more essays, I think that'll be enough for me. I'll leave you two to do your potions assignment." And she left almost feeling the dirty looks that Harry and Ron were sending her way. Then Hermione smiled to herself. "They don't suspect a thing. But, who would? I mean, I'm a prefect, a model student, and an apparently happy and content girl. No one could guess." She walked up the stairs toward the Gryffindor common room.
