Authors Note: I don't anything in this story. I'm not even going to pretend I do. Also, I may mess up some things that J.K. Rowing had planned for the story, and I may also mess up some of the plot points of the past books, but you got to let me have some artistic license! :-D . Finally, I'm American, so if you find something in here that's not quite BRITISH enough, tell me (or tell me how to fix it), and I'll do my best to do so! Also, I assume in this story that the Marauder's Map works anywhere. It's never fully explained in the books. It says in the books that some of the secret passages lead off the map, but I assume that if Harry were to go through the passage to the end (like the Shrieking Shack example), and then use the map, it would show the Shrieking Shack instead of Hogwarts… I got the idea from a Harry Potter/Star Trek: Voyager crossover.
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Harry Potter glared at his watch. It was the summer before he would enter his seventh year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. See, Harry Potter was a wizard. Not any ordinary wizard, but he was the Boy-Who-Lived. When Harry Potter was a child, the evil Dark Lord Voldemort came to his house and murdered his parents. Then he tried to kill Harry. But something happened, and he couldn't. Voldemort had spent the last sixteen years regaining power, after he lost it all, that fateful night.
Five minutes to go. Harry was practically giddy with excitement. Today, or more correctly tomorrow, was his Seventeenth birthday. What that meant was that at exactly midnight, the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery no longer applied to him. He would be considered of age in the wizarding world. And boy, did he have a dilly of a day planned for his birthday.
Three minutes until midnight. Harry polished his wand on the hem of his pajamas. He wanted it to look nice when he repaid the Dursleys for all they put him through over the years. Harry had to live with his mother's sister, his Aunt Petunia and her husband, his Uncle Vernon. Together, they had a thoroughly bothersome and fat son, Dudley. After Harry's parents were murdered, the headmaster of Hogwarts, Professor Dumbledore, placed him on the Dursley's doorstep. While Harry didn't like it there, he understood why he had to be there. In his Fifth year, Professor Dumbledore told him that he had placed a charm on him as a baby. This charm made it that as long as he could call somewhere where he had a blood relative home; he was safe from Voldemort.
One minute to go. Harry pulled off his pajamas and put on his Quidditch robes, for he knew this would aggravate Uncle Vernon. Quidditch is a wizard sport played on brooms. Each team has seven players, for a total of fourteen. It is played with four balls; The Quaffle, used to score; the two Bludgers, used to "unseat" other players; and the Snitch, possible the most important ball in the game. It is small and gold, with wings on the sides. It was Harry's job to catch this, for he was the Seeker. The game wasn't over until it was caught, and then one-hundred-and-fifty points were awarded to the catching team.
Midnight. It's time for my payback! Harry thought.
Uncle Vernon snored loudly. He took up most of the bed, he was so fat. Aunt Petunia, however, contrasted him greatly. She was rather thin, and fit comfortably between Uncle Vernon and the edge of the bed. Harry stood at the foot of their bed, running his plans through his head one last time.
As Aunt Petunia's nose made an odd whistling noise, Harry set into motion. He walked up to Uncle Vernon, his Quidditch robes ruffling behind him. Setting his wand in his right hand, he prodded Uncle Vernon in his fat back with his pointer finger.
"Uh…" Uncle Vernon groaned. Harry prodded him again. "Huh? You?! What the ruddy-hell is the matter with you boy?!" He grunted loudly.
"I just want to tell you something…" Harry said, cool and sly.
"Couldn't it wait until the morning?" Uncle Vernon asked.
"No, actually it couldn't," Harry stated. Uncle Vernon's face purpled and his mustache twitched as he went to shout, but Harry cut him off, "It's my birthday today… my seventeenth birthday!"
"Well, that's ruddy-good for you! At least they taught you to count at the god-forsaken school of yours!" Uncle Vernon replied tersely.
Harry could feel the blood boiling in his face, "You know what, Uncle Vernon, because it's my seventeenth birthday that means that I'm now allowed to use magic outside school." Harry said fully enjoying the look of dread the quickly shot across Uncle Vernon's face. "I just wanted you to know!" Harry turned on his heels and walked from the room triumphantly as Uncle Vernon shook Aunt Petunia awake and they whispered furiously.
Harry had gone back to bed after confronting Uncle Vernon. He had slept the best he did in all the years he lived at the Dursley's that night. For once he didn't wake to the sound of Uncle Vernon pounding on his door, or Dudley screaming for something from in front of the TV, or Aunt Petunia making as much noise as possible while vacuuming outside his door.
Narrow bars of light peeked through the window and danced across Harry's face. He slowly opened his eyes and a smile instantly spread across his face. Harry hadn't taken off his Quidditch robes before lying down in bed. Harry sat up and grabbed his wand from his nightstand. He could smell bacon and sausage cooking downstairs, so he changed out of his Quidditch robes, and into Muggle-wear, but with his Hogwarts cloak over it. He didn't want to get grease all over the front of him. Looking in the mirror, Harry admired his reflection for awhile. He leaned up close to look at his face. He had a little hair on his chin and upper-lip, but nowhere near enough to start shaving. Then he leaned back and crossed his arms, trying to look as defiant as he could.
"No." Harry said, rehearsing what he might need to say. He pointed his wand at his reflection, "Are you sure you want to eat that piece of bacon, Dudley?" Harry could barely contain his laughter. He was finally going to get some respect around here. Then Harry picked up a set of letters on his dresser. They were from his best friends, Ron Weasely and Hermione Granger. He had written them the awhile ago when he first realized that he'd have a month to use magic before going back to Hogwarts. He'd pretty much guessed what each would say. Ron had told him that he was doing the right thing, that these "god-damn-dirty-muggles" were more than deserving of anything Harry had planned for them. Hermione on the other hand had told him to be careful what he did, as he still could get in trouble for violating section 13 of the International Confederation of Warlocks' Statute of Secrecy. Naturally, Harry had written right back to her to tell her that he hadn't had anything big planned, just a few minor charms and spells, maybe a jinx or a hex or two.
The doorknob creaked as Harry turned it. He could have sworn he heard Dudley yelp from downstairs. Harry followed the stairs downward, his wand clutched tightly in his hand. He was careful to jump the last step, since it creaked. He passed the cupboard underneath the stairs. That had been his room for the first ten years of his life. The Dursleys only gave him Dudley's second bedroom because they thought it would stop his Hogwarts acceptation letters from coming. Harry gave the cupboard door a vengeful, yet light kick, to announce his presence. He gripped the doorknob to the kitchen door. He took a deep cleansing breath, just to steady his nerves. Turning it, Harry stepped into the kitchen, and into the company of the Dursleys.
"Good morning!" Harry said loudly and playfully, testing the Dursley's attitudes of him.
Uncle Vernon pulled the morning newspaper up farther in front of his face, and grunted a forced greeting. Dudley whimpered and edged closer to his mother, never stopping shoveling food in his mouth. But Aunt Petunia glared at Harry. Her eyes seemed to bore into his head. He felt as if Aunt Petunia was daring him to blink. Harry sat down opposite her, and slid his hands behind his head.
"So… what's for breakfast?" He asked nonchalantly.
"Eggs. Bacon. Sausage." Aunt Petunia said, never taking her eyes off Harry's.
They all sat at the table in silence, staring at their targets. Harry to Aunt Petunia, Aunt Petunia to Harry, Dudley to Aunt Petunia and his plate, and Uncle Vernon to the newspaper. Harry leaned back in his chair. "No don't get up," He said, pulling his hands from behind his head, "I got it. Accio Plate." He said, flicking his wand. A plate hurtled from across the room to land in front of him. Dudley let out another yelp and ran from the room, splattering grease from his sausage all over his front. "Accio Fork, Accio Eggs, Accio Bacon, Accio Sausage." Food flew through the air to land on Harry's plate. Uncle Vernon's face whitened behind his newspaper, and so did his knuckles as he nearly pushed them through the paper. Clearly, Uncle Vernon disliked not being able to tell Harry off for using magic.
As Harry dug happily into his breakfast, Aunt Petunia's eyes never once strayed from him. Her lips drawing tighter by the minute. Her forehead furrowing every time Harry's wand bobbed in his hand. Harry scraped the last of the eggs from his plate and leaned back in his chair, content with the meal he had.
"That was good." He said glancing into Aunt Petunia's steely glare. That was most definitely unnerving, but Harry tried not to let it get to him. He pointed his wand at his plate, "Scourgify." The leftovers from his meal disappeared from the plate. Harry waved his wand and the plate soared across the room to land with a clatter in the sink. Harry pushed his chair back and stood up. "I'm going upstairs." He stated, hoping to find Dudley.
"I suppose you think your pretty clever don't you?" Aunt Petunia said, and odd calm in her voice, "Thinking you can bully us into submission now that you can use magic outside school." Harry ran a hand threw his hair nervously. It was very rare for any of the Dursley's to use the word 'magic'. "Well, hear this boy. I want you out of this house as soon as possible. Write to one of your friends, call a cab, or magic yourself out, I don't care how you do it, I want you and your abnormality gone. I don't care if Voldemort himself comes looking for you, you can't stay here!" Harry gulped secretly. Never had he known Aunt Petunia to be this… Uncle-Vernon-ish, nor had he expected Aunt Petunia to mention Voldemort.
Harry couldn't let her win, he scoured his brain for a retort, and all he came up with was, "Fine." He tapped his wand to a teacup before leaving, transfiguring it into a rat. He allowed himself a small smile as he heard Uncle Vernon's frightened grunt, followed by the crash of his chair falling over.
"Dudley! Oh Dudley! Where are you?" Harry called looking about the second floor hallway, sweeping his wand in front of him. Harry pushed the door to his own room open and looked in. Not finding Dudley, Harry went to the guest bedroom. He pushed the door open with his foot and searched around the room. "Dudley are you in here?" He called. Not receiving an answer, he had a brainstorm.
Harry walked into his room, pulled open his trunk, and took out a blank piece of parchment. He placed the tip of his wand to it and said, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Ink seeped up through the paper and took the shape of the Dursley's second floor. This was the Marauder's Map, which had been created by his Father, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. They were best friends while at Hogwarts, but after, Peter betrayed Harry's parents to Voldemort.
In a room marked 'Harry's Room', he saw a dot labeled 'Harry Potter'. He scanned the page to look for another dot. He found it in the room marked 'Master Bedroom; Vernon and Petunia's Room', the dot was in the far corner of the box, and it was shaking. The dot was labeled 'Dudley Dursley'. "I see you Dudley!" Harry said aloud, hoping he was instilling some kind of fear. Harry stalked down the hallway, and kicked open the door to his Uncle's room.
The bed appeared to be shaking, but in fact, it was Dudley shaking it. He was hiding behind the bed, and the shaking of his own body shook the bed. Harry pointed his wand at Dudley and said, "Wingardium Leviosa." Dudley rose into the air. As the sheets slid from around him, Harry noticed that Dudley looked particularly fat and pathetic, sobbing with his head between his arms. He must not have noticed he was floating because, he didn't give any indication that he knew he had been found.
"I see you." Harry said again.
Dudley yelped. He looked at Harry, who had his wand drawn, then he looked down and yelped again.
Harry pressed his wand to the map and said, "Mischief managed." The ink on the page faded away, Harry folded the map and put it in his pocket. "Hi Dudley." He said, with a gleeful twinkle in his eye. Dudley's rear shook even more as he buried his head further in his arms. Harry pointed his wand at Dudley, "Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. I won't put you through everything you did to me over the years. No… Rictusempra!"
Dudley let out a queer laugh. He was clearly frightened, but couldn't stop himself from laughing. He clutched his chest, laughing so hard his face turned red.
"No, I won't hit you." Harry said, circling Dudley and jabbing a finger at Dudley's side, "I won't kick you, punch you, or scratch you." Harry said, poking Dudley in various places after each 'you'. "Finite Incantatem," Dudley stopped laughing, "No, I just want to scare the bloody hell out of you! Tarantallegra!" Harry stated, flicking his wand at Dudley.
In the air, Dudley's body went into spasms. He couldn't control any of his body's movements. "Stop it! I'm warning you. I'll—" Dudley squeaked, trying to sound intimidating, but failing horribly.
"You'll what? Your mother and father can't do anything to me. I'm allowed to use magic outside school now. I may be leaving, but I still want to get my kicks in! Finite Incantatem!" Harry replied, ending Dudley's spasm.
Dudley breathed an audible sigh of relief, then tried to gather his courage, "I'll… I'll… I'll… get you! That's what I'll—"
"Shut up, Dudley. Silencio." Harry retorted. Floating in the air, Dudley tried to shout at Harry, but no words left his mouth. He panicked. Gripping his throat, he made numerous threatening gestures to Harry, including a few rather obscene ones. "That won't do, Dudley! Aunt Petunia wouldn't like it if she found out you used those awful hand signs, now would she?" Harry walked up to Dudley and taped both his arms with his wand, "Ferula." He said. Bandages shot from the end of Harry's wand and bound Dudley's arms to his body. "That's better! Now, what am I going to do? I know! Locomotor Dudley." Harry said in mock relief. When the spell hit Dudley, he wafted through the air to float behind Harry.
Turning, Harry left the room and walked to his own, Dudley floating behind him. When he got to his room, Harry walked to a pile of Dudley's broken toys. Harry winced as Dudley's head thudded against the doorframe.
"Sorry about that Dudley!" Harry said, happiness blatantly obvious in his voice. He turned back to the pile, and pointed his wand at it. "Accio Camera." He said, as the toy mountain rumbled a little and a small busted up camera floated to Harry from the bottom of the pile. He taped his wand on the camera and said, "Repario." The camera pulled itself back together. There was even a roll of film still inside it.
Behind Harry, Dudley mouthed furiously that the camera was his, but it was futile because he made no noise. Harry then walked over to Dudley and pulled him down by the foot. Harry leveled Dudley off in the air, then hopped on his chest, with an inaudible grunt from Dudley. Then Harry taped the camera with his wand. The camera floated out in front of him.
"Smile Dudley!" Harry said enthusiastically as the camera flashed. Harry then hopped of Dudley, walked up to the camera, grabbed it, and went to his trunk. Dudley floated through the air, following him, occasionally bumping his head on the walls. Harry pulled out a piece of parchment, a quill, and a vial of ink. Dipping the quill in the ink, Harry began to write a letter—
Dear Ron,
You'll never believe what I'm doing right now! I know I told you already, but I'm really doing it. You should have seen Uncle Vernon's face as I told him that I could do magic outside school now! I'm including a picture I just took of me and Dudley. It's still in the camera, because I'd like it to be developed as a wizard's picture. Anyway, I want out of here, can I come to stay with you for the rest of the summer? I'll take the Knight Bus there. Reply as soon as you can!
Harry
Harry smiled at his letter. Picking it up, he showed it to Dudley. "What do you think?" He asked rhetorically. Dudley furrowed his brow and scowled at him. "That good, eh?" Harry asked, laughing as he spoke. Still laughing, Harry folded the letter up and tied it to the leg of his owl, Hedwig. Harry opened his window, then leaned to Hedwig and said, "Take this to Ron. I need you there and back with a reply as soon as possible. If his answers more than a paragraph, start pecking at him." Hedwig hooted acknowledgingly, and soared out the window.
As soon as Hedwig was but a dot on the horizon, Harry turned back to Dudley. "Now, it's time to play a game. I'm going to release you, then you have to come and find me!" Harry said. Dudley looked puzzled. Harry walked up to his trunk, deposited his letter writing equipment, and pulled out a silvery cloak. "NO PEEKING!" Harry shouted, slapping Dudley's leg, sending him into a very fast aerial spiral. As Dudley spun in the air, Harry flung the cloak around his shoulders and lifted the hood.
When Dudley stopped spinning, he could no longer see Harry. But he knew he must have been there, because he floated from the room and to the stairs, and that only happened when Harry moved. Dudley felt a pair of hands rest atop his shoulders and push him so his rump connected with the stairs. Dudley wondered what Harry was doing when he saw Harry's wand appear from thin air, and he heard Harry say, "Finite Incantatem." All at once, Dudley found his voice, his arms sprung from his sides, and he fell from the air, bouncing on his fat butt all the way down the stairs.
As Dudley crashed at the bottom, he heard Harry laugh. Dudley screamed and ran into the kitchen where Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon where still sitting, but no were staring at each other.
"Harry… Harry… Harry did—" Dudley sputtered.
"Yes, tell them what mean, old, Harry did to big, fat, Dudley!" Harry spoke from Dudley's left side. Dudley swung his arm, but Harry dodged it.
"Harry's… he's… well, he's invisible!" Dudley sputtered again.
Uncle Vernon's face purpled. "When I find you boy, I'll flay you within an inch of your life!" He shouted.
Harry snuck under the table and tipped Uncle Vernon's coffee over. "As if you could find me!"
"Oh, believe me boy! I will!" Uncle Vernon replied, his mustache quivering.
Harry tiptoed behind Aunt Petunia and started to flick her earlobes, making popping noises with his mouth. "Sure you will… Uncle Vernon."
Aunt Petunia screeched and swatted at the air behind her. Harry decided to move on, as Aunt Petunia had come awfully close to snagging his hood. He moved onto Dudley, where he grabbed his nipple and gave him a titty-twister.
Dudley squealed in pain and fear. He ran to hide behind his father. Dudley's fat was plainly visible behind Uncle Vernon's. Harry walked away from the Dursleys and sat on the couch. He grabbed the remote and started to flick through the channels. The Dursleys, meanwhile, sat back down at the kitchen table. Uncle Vernon eagle-eyed the living room trying to find some indication of where Harry was, but finding none.
Harry took pleasure in stopping on every one of Dudley's favorite shows long enough for him to see that it was on, then changing the channel. Dudley would groan after every time.
Every so often, Harry would get up to mess with Uncle Vernon or Dudley. Even though he knew she couldn't see him, Harry left Aunt Petunia alone, because she seemed to always find him just before he went to do something to her.
As Harry was taking an orange slice from Uncle Vernon's plate, Hedwig swooped in. Everyone jumped up to try and grab her, but she flew past them all, and up to Harry's room. Harry followed, but close on his heels were the rest of the Dursleys. As he slammed his bedroom door shut, he pulled out his wand and shouted, "Colloportus." The door glowed. It was magically sealed. Not even Uncle Vernon's angry smashes against the door would open it.
Sitting down on his bed, Harry pulled the letter off Hedwig's leg. He read the letter aloud to her—
Dear Harry,
Mum and Dad say that it would be great for you to stay with us. She expects you here by midnight. Hedwig's making me awful nervous, she keeps lunging at me like she's going to peck at me if I write too much. Anyway, see you here soon!
Ron
Harry smiled and rubbed Hedwig's head. He quietly gathered all his possessions and placed them in his trunk. He'd even grabbed a few of Dudley's old, broken things to repair with magic later. His room looked incredibly spartan with his things gone, not that it looked that different with his things there. He placed Hedwig in her cage and threw his Invisibility Cloak over them, then pointed his wand at it and said, "Mobilarbus." The he could feel the trunk rise into the air.
Outside his door, Uncle Vernon was still pounding on his door, but Harry no longer heard Aunt Petunia or Dudley's voices. Harry pushed his trunk to the window and pushed it out, then jumped on top of it. He guided the invisible trunk down with his wand. When he was safely on the ground, he pointed his wand at the trunk and said, "Finite Incantatem, Locomotor Trunk." The trunk momentarily bobbed in the air then followed Harry as he walked around the house, stopping every so often to place the 'Colloportus' charm on windows and doors, just to screw with the Dursleys. Harry made sure he left at least one window open because it would be too mean to completely lock the Dursleys in their house.
When he was done, Harry walked to the corner. He stuck out his wand.
BANG!
A violently purple, triple-decker bus screeched to a halt in front of him, from no where. The door slid open and Harry walked on to the bus thinking, So begins the rest of my life!
