DISCLAIMER
I don't own Arthur Dent or any other characters or concepts from the Hitchhiker's Trilogy (in five parts). They belong to the (regrettably) deceased Douglas Adams. I'm just playing with his toys.
A/N: I'm sorry about the delay, but I've been working on another project. The first chapter of that other project is up. Please click my name to find the new story, and please read it! In my opinion, it's very good.
"You were a cow?" Marvin asked somewhat astonished.
"Yes, I was a cow."
"What was it like?" there was a new note of curiosity in Marvin's voice.
"Well, not as bad as you may think. I was incredibly stupid, yes, but I didn't know any better. For all I knew, there was nothing else besides my pasture and my herd.
"Slowly I grew up. I gave drinking my mother's milk, and went on to eating grass. It wasn't a bad life, I always had enough to eat, and I was content.
"But then, one day, when I was about three years old..."
"How did you know how old you were?" Marvin interrupted.
"I didn't. But once I became a computer, I was able to approximately calculate how long each period of my life took. I estimate that I was around three years old at that time.
"So one day, when I was about three years old," Eddy continued, "something different happened. In the middle of the morning, while I was happily chewing up a mouthful of clover for the third time, a big, loud, noisy thing came and interrupted us. Later I found out that this was a cattle truck.
"The truck stopped in the middle of our pasture, and we were quite upset, so we mooed at it. This didn't stop it. And now that I think about it, whenever we mooed at something, it always ignored us. I don't know why.
"Well, anyway, we were mooing our stupid heads off, and nothing happened. Then, two men got out of the truck, went around to the back and did something that involved a lot of noise. I swallowed, bent my head and picked another mouthful of clover.
"Then, the two men came towards me. I backed away.
"Then came closer, I turned around.
"They ran forward and started prodding me. I mooed and back away from the prodding.
"They prodded me again, and again I moved away. It wasn't until I was actually on the truck that I realized what had happened.
"The two men left me, and I peacefully chewed the clover, while the men brought some of my friends to join me.
"The men got into the front of the truck, and with a lurch we started moving. This was an entirely new experience for me. To move without moving. It was quite fun.
"But all good things must end. The truck stopped. The men got us out, and filed in a line heading towards a big white building.
"The line moved forward, and one at a time we entered the building. When it became my turn, I swallowed my clover, and being unusually curious for a cow, went inside without any prodding.
"As soon as I was in, my foot slipped, and I slide down a chute. When I reached the bottom, I stood up, and saw in front of me another line. As I waited my turn, I noticed that there were other cows on the ceiling, and they were going off into another room. This puzzled me, for I knew that cows can't fly.
"When it was my turn, shackles were attached to my hind legs, and bars closed in from the sides to hold me in place. A man placed a long metal tube up by my ear, and I heard a very loud bang.
"Then, the bars on the side opened, and I was hoisted into the air by my hind legs. Now I knew how those cows were flying. It was very fun.
"As I was traveling along the ceiling towards the other room, I realized that I no longer felt like a cow, I didn't know what I felt like, since my only experience until then had been of being a cow. As I puzzled over this, I tried chewing that last bit of clover again, but found that I couldn't! In fact, I couldn't feel my body!
"In the next room, the skin was removed from my body. I sensed that my body had been taken somewhere else. Then, being only a skin, I didn't know what happened to it, but now I know that it became hamburgers and steaks.
"Me, for now I was a cow skin, I was taken to a different room, where I was treated.
"When I left there, via truck again, I felt very stiff.
"I was taken to another factory. Here, I traveled along an assembly line, where I was cut, stretched, molded, shaped and sewn, before I came out as a sneaker."
"A sneaker?!" Marvin asked astonished. He was now so caught up in Eddy's story that he no longer felt miserable, in fact he felt very fine, and interested in Eddy's story.
"Yes," Eddy said, "a sneaker. I guess that that is where the odd shape for this ship was taken, my subconscious. I'm just glad that the ship isn't the shape of a cow!
"Well," he continued, "I emerged from the factory as a sneaker. I was put in a box next to a sneaker just like me. Then we were taken somewhere, I don't know where since I was in a box and couldn't see.
"There was a lot of moving around, then some moving in another truck, after that some more movement, and then nothing for a very long time.
"We sat there, in the box for what seemed like an eternity. Then, one day, our box was moved, the lid was taken off, and I could see that we were in a brightly-lit store, with hundreds of other shoes and boxes just like me.
"We were carried over to a kid sitting on a bench. My companion shoe was taken out of the box. Then I was. The kid looked me over, and then had gall to put his foot in me!
"At first I was speechless with anger, then I was speechless simply because I had no mouth. But I was very perturbed.
" Then, as the kid laced me up and tied my laces, I began to get used to it. When the kid stood up and started walking around, I was very comfortable and very happy. This was what I was meant to do.
"The kid found me satisfactory. 'These are great, Mom.' He said, 'I want these.' His mother replied with a sigh and said, 'All right Joel, but I want you to take good care of them.' 'I promise to!' Joel replied. I was glad, I wanted Joel to take good care of us. Then Joel asked, 'Could I wear them home?' I would have held my breath if I had had lungs. 'I don't see why not.' Answered a new voice, evidently the sales girl.
"I was ecstatic. I had found a new purpose in life, and Joel got to wear us home.
"As his mother paid for us, Joel proudly walked with us out the door, and into a whole new chapter of my life."
A/N: You have just finished reading the second chapter of 'Eddy, a History'. Please review, and please check out my new story!
