DISCLAIMER
I don't own Arthur Dent or any other characters or concepts from the Hitchhiker's Trilogy (in five parts). They belong to the (regrettably) deceased Douglas Adams. I'm just playing with his toys.
A/N: Well, it has been a while, hasn't it? But I'm back folks, and big as life! (5' 6") I hope I didn't keep you waiting too long, but I know I did. Sorry. But you know how it is, you have an idea, you start working on it, and sooner than you think, something else comes along and you leave the first idea for later. That's what happened to me. But now I'm coming back to the first idea, and you could read it now. I guess I forgot to mention that anybody who doesn't want to hear (read?) my blatherings should just skip this and get to the good parts. So I'll say (write?) it now, anybody who doesn't want to hear (read?) my blatherings should just skip this and get to the good parts. If you're still reading this, I'd like to thank you for bearing with me this far. Now I'll let you get on with the story.
(If you don't remember where we are in the story, go back and read the previous chapter. And drop another Review while you're at it.)
"Yes", Eddy continued, "that was a fine time in my life. We had a great time, and Joel took good care of us." {A/N: if you have no idea what's going on, reread the last two chapters. This is your final warning. I'm not going to stop the story every few minutes and explain something. And I won't tell you again to read the other chapters.} "Joel took us everywhere. We went to school-"
"What was that like?" Marvin asked abruptly.
"Well, I can't really say. All I know is that the girl who sat in front of Joel had really nice sandals. But they were too stuck up, and wouldn't talk to me. What a shame. I would really have liked to get to know them a little better." You could almost hear the smile in Eddy's voice. Marvin made noise of disgust that sounded like a manhole cover with a hangover.
"Aside from school," Eddy continued his narrative, "Joel took us to basketball games, the zoo, a camping trip with his family..." Eddy trailed off a little wistfully. Marvin thought that he understood, nobody ever took him to a camping trip, but it sounded like fun.
"We had a grand time." Eddy concluded. "But, nothing lasts forever-"
"Except for the stench of a well-digested meal of baked beans from Odorus Prime." Marvin interjected.
"Well yes, I suppose you're right." Eddy agreed. "But this certainly didn't last forever. It happened sort of gradually, but I started noticing that Joel's foot seemed a little snugger inside me. In fact, it was starting to hurt. Also, I was getting a little worn and ragged around the edges.
"So one day, Joel took us back to the store. Once inside the store, he took us off, and we sat there, dejected, near his feet. Then, somebody brought over a new pair of shoes. Wow, these shoes were something. The slickest, coolest most self-centered beings I have ever met. They didn't even look at me! They just sat there, grinning to themselves as Joel put them on! And then, do you know what he said?!"
"No."
"He said, 'These are great Mom! I want these.' The exact same thing he said about me! I couldn't believe it. Then she made him promise to take good care of them, and he did! Just like for us!"
"The nerve." Marvin said, clearly as agitated about this as Eddy himself.
"Then, do you know what?" Eddy asked.
"No, what?" Marvin replied.
"Joel asked if he could wear those shoes home!" Marvin gasped in utter astonishment. He was completely flummoxed.
"And those new sneakers, they snickered at me! Then Joel started to go. But before he did, his mother picked us up, took us to the counter, and asked the girl there if she could please 'throw these old shoes in the Dumpster'. The girl said, 'Sure' and took us, and threw us in a huge metal thing full of garbage! Oh, it was terrible. We sat there for a very long time.
"Finally, one day, a space ship came. It turns out that this was the same ship that delivered Ford to Earth all those years ago. Now this ship was a research vessel for the Intergalactic Refuse Society or in short, the IRS. They were going around taking samples of different planets' garbage. So they took the Dumpster that I was in.
"My first space flight was unremarkable. I'll just say this one thing about it-"
"If it's unremarkable, how are you going to remark on it now?" Marvin asked.
"Well... I... that is... I mean..." Eddy broke off, flustered.
It was then that Eddy understood. Eddy burst into laughter. When it had died down, he said to Marvin, "Mazel Tov."
Marvin looked confused and said, "Huh?"
"Congratulations!" Eddy said.
"On what?"
"On getting a sense of humor!"
"But I don't have one." Marvin said.
"I know." Eddy responded, sounding quite excited, "You just got one now."
"No I didn't" Marvin denied. He was starting to get a little angry now.
"Yes you did." Eddy insisted, "You just made a joke. I said the trip was unremarkable, and I'll just make one remark, and you said how could I remark on it if it was unremarkable? That was a joke!"
"It was?" Marvin sounded a little surprised and a lot interested.
"Well, it was a pun, which is a kind of joke."
"I suppose you're right." Marvin sounded pleased, "Hey!" He shouted, "I have a sense of humor!!" He giggled.
Eddy hummed in an appreciative way.
"Quick, Eddy," Marvin asked, "What's brown and sits on a piano bench?"
"I give up. What?"
"Beethoven's last movement!!" Marvin cackled with laughter. Eddy thought a moment, and then his booming laughter joined Marvin's higher pitched one and reverberated throughout the entire ship. If you listened carefully, you could even hear the doors laughing.
A/N: There you have it. The long-awaited chapter 3. I admit that I got a little carried away at the end. Developing Marvin's sense of humor was a complete surprise to me. In fact, I was probably more surprised than you are. I mean it. I never planned it like this. It just sort of happened. But I love it!! Can you imagine? Marvin! A sense of humor! I know I deviated from Eddy, but this is great. Maybe it'll develop into a spin-off story of it's own... I'll tell you one thing that could make that happen. No, not a million dollars, but I'd love to get them anyway. I'm talking about the 'R' word. Recycling! If you would all recycle all your paper, we'd cut down less trees, and if there are more trees, then they will be able to make more oxygen, and then we can create more noxious gasses by running the power-plants more. If we can do that, then we can generate more electricity, so that you could leave your computer on longer, so that you'd have time to write me a Review!
