"No, I'd prefer to be alone right now."

/Don't leave me. Please fucking stay here and hold me and make it right. Collect my shattered pieces and fix me. Stay here. Just stay with me and keep me warm. I never want to be alone again. Please, please don't leave me./

I sighed inwardly, but continued to hug my knees in silence. My voice always seemed to work independently, ignoring my thoughts entirely.

He stood in the doorway, clearly not convinced. The way his blonde hair half-hid his eyes made me want to look into them and be completely honest. Maybe he would stay here. Maybe we could enjoy a friendly silence. Maybe, maybe if I just asked. I decided that I'd just see if he would stick around for a bit.

He sighed and looked at me, willing me to talk to him. I didn't. "You sure?"

/Of course I'm sure. I'm sure I want you to stay here with me. I just need someone right now. I need to feel a warm body and a heartbeat next to me. Even just to hear a reassuring voice -yours- would be great. Even knowing that you're just a few feet away would help. Even knowing that you put up a fight to stay here with me would help. Please, I just need a friend. Please, just stay here./

"Yeah. Just - just leave me alone."

My bitter voice sounded foreign. There was no way I could've just said that.

/ Ask me again. Just one more time. I'll tell you to stay. I want you to stay. Don't listen to that voice. Don't believe it. I really want you to stay. Listen to your instincts. Please don't leave me./

He blinked, looking shocked and hurt. Without another word, he turned and left.

/ He'll come back. He'll realize that I didn't mean to say that. He'll know that I don't want him gone. Why did I say that? Why did my voice betray me.again? I really want him here. Had he wanted to stay? Why didn't I let him?/

I pushed my chestnut bangs out of my face, which felt unusually warm. I got up and locked the door, wondering why I was locking the door if I wanted him to come back. I was about to return to my corner, but a movement caught my eye. I looked over; it was a mirror.

My gaze swept over my black, slightly disheveled clothes to my thick braid and finally settled on my eyes. The reflection looked hollow, those violet eyes mocking. I glared at it for a moment, then sighed with defeat. "What the hell is wrong with you?"