Disclaimer: I don't own TMNT, so you can't sue me. I'm just borrowing them
for a bit. But Magnolia and the others are mine, so if you want to use
them, please just ask. Thank you.
Chapter 2: Regrets and Memories
Well, I'm still here, wherever here is. Or rather, I think that my consciousness is still. I have the feeling that I left body back on the floor of my cell when I blacked out. Hmm, what do you know? That's the first real feeling that I've had since I got to this dump. It's harder than I thought to do anything when you don't have a body to move around in. Not there's much to do here but think even if I still were in mine, but still. It's the principle of the idea that I'm getting at.
For reason, I really don't feel the passage of time as I did when I knew that I was alive. Here in the darkness, things just sort of stand still. Like there's no reason to hurry things and there's a force that keeps them at a single moment forever. So I really don't know how long I've been drifting here, if that's what you can call it. It could have been weeks, days, hours, even an eternity for all I know since my body finally gave up and I ended up in this place, which I still don't know how to get out of even there is one.
Despite all this confusion and nothingness that I'm stuck in, there is one thing that I'm certain of: I'm bored. Weird as it sounds, I am bored to tears. Well, not really but that's beside the point. All I can really do here is think and I got my fill of that when I used to spend my afternoons meditating with the guys and Splinter.
Splinter. Hmm, there's a name that I would remember no matter where I was. I haven't thought of it much the last few months, but it was one of the first things I learned when I was old enough to starting getting the gist of verbal language.
It is or maybe was the name of the one that I saw as father, teacher and friend for my entire life. Well, there was that period when I was fourteen when I considered him to be something else. It's the feelings of that time that's gotten me into this mess and I don't think I'll really ever stop regretting those times. But, I think I'll worry more about that later. At this rate, I'll probably have more than enough time for that. Right now, since I've already gotten myself thinking about the old guy, I'll just stick to the good memories of Splinter.
Wonder how many of those I could count or even if I could manage? Probably never could, since there are too many to ever count and be sure of to begin with. I just know that there were a lot of good things about being with Splinter and what they've come to mean to me is something I would never trade, even to get out of being in the dark like this.
Yes, despite the times he was strict with me and didn't seem to understand me no matter how he tried and failed, he meant that much to me. Both him and my brothers. It was Splinter who took me in, gave me my name after I was found and raised me to be the person that I am, much good that it's done me. Thanks to him, I know what it means to be a decent person and that fighting isn't the only way to fight an injustice. Though if you have to, then give it everything you can. Strike hard and disappear, that was the lesson that he taught us all from the moment we could walk.
We? That's definitely a term that I haven't used in a long time. For the last two years, the only things that I've used are me and maybe us. Never a we. That in my mind means a group of people that you can trust, no matter what you do. Me just means watching out for myself and us is just a group that's been stuck together and doesn't have a choice in the matter, like in Rancor.
When I do think of we, I think not only of Splinter but of my brothers too. They're what makes of we in my mind. There were six of us; Splinter, my four brothers and me.
I suppose I thought of this before, but if it'll help to pass the time, then who cares? My brothers were all older than me by three years. This gap in our ages often separated us when we were growing up, since they, like all older children, felt that it wasn't the place of smaller youngsters to tag along and slow the rest down. Younger children were meant to stay at home and out of the way while the rest had the fun. A philosophy that I didn't and I'm sure that all younger siblings will never agree with.
That was often an attitude that all my brothers had from time to time and I always hated when they pulled that on me. Still, there were times when I couldn't have asked for better playmates and friends. On the days when I was upset or when I hurt myself when we were playing, they were always there for me. They would comfort me and try to help me feel better until we could get Splinter to look at the problem.
They were each different as anyone could ask for and I had a different relationship with each one, just like they did with each other. My oldest brother was named Leonardo and was possibly the closest thing you would ever come to having a Splinter clone without the use of DNA. Leonardo, or Leo as the rest of us called him, he was always the first one to try and please Master Splinter, regardless of what it meant doing. He spent more time practicing and meditating than the rest of us combined sometimes and never once disagreed with our Sensei.
This sort of thing earned Leo a place of honor from Splinter, so that often left him in charge when our Sensei. That was something Leo took pride in and took as seriously as he did everything else. It also earned him resentment from the rest of us. It annoyed us to no end when he tried to boss around and make us do things the way he thought we should, but none more than Raphael.
He was what I guess you could call the second born son of the family, but I'm not really sure. I don't think anyone does really, even Splinter. Even with all their different personalities and sizes, no one's ever been really sure who was born or rather hatched first among the Turtles. So it was based more on actions and personality that came to who was older among the Turtles and in that case, Raphael was second.
Not that he enjoyed having to listen to Leo; any fool could see that. In fact he hated it when anyone told him what to do. Anyone but Splinter who tried was bound to find themselves beaten into a senseless pulp.
That sort of action came from Raphael's fierce temper. He always had one, practically from the day he was mutated. Maybe even before then. Splinter, the only one who had any clear memory of that day, used to tell us stories of what happened then. He would say that whenever someone got in his way, then Raphael would lash out or try to fight them. It usually took Splinter himself to calm Raph down again when that happened. I'm not sure if that's an exaggeration or not, but I know for a fact that Raphael did fight a lot when we were growing up.
When we were kids, it was mostly with Leo, who was the one always bossing us around, and sometimes my other two brothers, Don and Mikey. He and I never really came close to having a fight until much later in our lives, since the one bit of chivalry Raphael seemed to have prevented him from beating up on a girl and someone smaller than him. At least, not in a fist fight. He saved that for when I was allowed to spar with the rest of them.
I was never as big and strong as he was back then, so I never came close to beating him. Heck, I never came close to beating any of them when it came to sparring when I was younger. I was always smaller and weaker than my brothers as a kid, no matter what I tried.
That sort of played in my favor when it came to other parts of ninjitsu, the type of martial art that we were taught by Splinter. Where I failed to beat my brothers in sparring and strength, I could almost always beat them in stealth and strategy. I've always been good at moving around unheard when I want to, and making plans of attack. Leo was pretty good at planning too, but I could still outdo him when it came the finer details, just like I did the others three.
The real genius of the family though, was Donatello, my third brother. Next to me, he was the quiet one. He was the one who would spend hours on end just looking at what the rest of us thought was a piece of junk, trying to figure it out. Sometimes, he got so enthralled with a problem that he would literally ignore everything and everyone else around him, it was so interesting to him. The only way to even catch his attention was to get right up in his face, between him and the object he studied so intently. I can remember more than once that's what Splinter had to do, just to get him to move around and eat.
Eating, now that reminds me of only one person or should I say Turtle. My fourth brother and the person that I was closest to in the world, Michelangelo. Now there is a person that could not only out eat anyone, but also get even the grumpiest person, and when I say that I mean Raph of course, in the world to laugh. In my opinion, he was the sweetheart of our family and probably the one that kept us all from killing each other when we were stuck in the Lair all those times.
It was also Mikey who actually saved my life and brought me to Splinter's attention. Yes, hard as it is to believe, it's true. I don't remember exactly what happened myself, but I've been told enough times by Splinter to know what happened that day. He and my brothers had been out scavenging in the sewers for supplies, or rather Sensei was doing that. My brothers, only three at the time, were too busy playing to be of much help.
Now, in one of those rare times when Splinter wasn't watching him, Mikey wandered away from the others. He went deeper into the sewers, toddling along without any concern for the panic that Splinter was bound to be in once he found one of his sons gone. Well, Mikey hadn't really wandered that far but it was enough for him to find me.
I was lying in the muck of the sewer, wrapped in a dirty old blanket and squalling like there was no tomorrow. Which would have been true if things hadn't gone the way they had. See, being as young and confined from the world as he was, Mikey had never seen anything like me before. So naturally he became interested and wanted to know more about me.
To this day, no one knows how he did it but somehow, Mike fished me out of the gunk I was stuck in and dragged me over to a corner under one of the pipelines. Splinter used to say many times that he was surprised that neither of us got hurt from that experience.
Once he had me, he tried keeping me in his lap, but it wasn't that easy since my blanket was pretty gross at the time and I probably squirming like crazy. Even so, he somehow managed and he stayed with me until Splinter finally showed up looking for him.
And that's more or less how I initially joined what would become my family. If Mikey hadn't wandered off and found me, I would probably have been dead long before this. Which means that next to Splinter, I mostly owe Michelangelo for my getting as far as I did in life.
In the end though, I owe something to each of them. To Splinter, who was both my father and my teacher, I owe the code of honor that I've tried to live by. Not completely, since there are a few things about that that I find strange, but for the most part, I try. Leonardo, who offered a guiding hand and patience when I had a problem.
Raphael, the one who taught me how to fight in ways that didn't involve going by the book and how to show others that size doesn't always matter. And a few other things that I don't think that I'll mention about now. Don, the patience one who helped me understand reading and science better when no one else could or would. And Mikey, the one who was my best friend and comrade growing up and in everything else.
The more I think about these people, the ones who made up my life before I left them, the more I regret what I did to them. They deserved better for what they did for me, better than my just walking out on them like I did, without even giving them a decent farewell. Now that's what I regret most, not saying good-bye. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have ended up here. They could have been there to stop me and talk some sense into me before I did something stupid. But of course, I was stupid!
I was fourteen, what else was to be expected of me? I was stupid, arrogant and too hotheaded to know when it was better to let others help me instead of pushing them away like I did. I thought that I knew better than they did, and that I didn't need them, especially when they wouldn't give me the answers that I wanted. Well, I certainly went my own way and look where it got me. Stuck in a bunch of nothing that could be hell for all I know or just someone's idea of a cosmic joke.
Well, like everyone says when they end up like this, if I had known beforehand what would happen, then I wouldn't have done it. I would have used my head and done the opposite. Of course, by then it's always too late and there's no way to turn back the clock to fix it. What's done is done and when it is, all you can do is take what remains as it is.
But that doesn't mean I can't work with what I have. I may have made some mistakes in the past but there's always the chance of making what comes after them better again. And even if this darkness is a punishment that I've earned and should probably keep to, I would take the chance if I could to get out of here if it meant doing just that. Making things right again with my family.
In the darkness, I hear someone chuckle. For the first time since I got here, I'm actually startled. I still don't know how long I've been here, but I've been around long enough to know that I was the only one here. At least, I thought I was.
"You are not alone, child," a voice says, sounding remarkably like Splinter's," You never were. We just didn't want to disturb you until you were ready for us to come to you."
Whoa, hold it! There are actually others here besides me in this place? I don't see anyone, but I'm starting to sense something that wasn't there before. Great, so I'm not alone after all. So why haven't they shown up before this?! That's what I want to ask and a lot more, but basically can't since I don't have a mouth and somehow I doubt that I would get a straight answer even if I could. If whoever is speaking to me sounds that much like Master Splinter, then they're bound to make things as difficult to figure out as he did sometimes. And probably get a kick out of it like I swear he did sometimes.
Again that voice chuckles gently," There is no need for you to speak, child. We can hear your thoughts as well as you hear us now. If you wish for us to know anything, then you need only think it and we will hear it."
All right, if you, they or whoever is there can hear me so well, then let's see you answer this. What is this place, who are you and what do you mean by not disturbing me until I was ready?
"Ah, you truly are worthy of your spirit," the voice laughs," So many questions at once, just as we expected of you. I'm sorry to say that I cannot answer your second question. Know only that I and the others with me mean you no harm. We are friends and are here only to help you when you are ready."
And just what were you were waiting for me to be ready for? I'm sorry to be rude, but I'm really not in the mood for riddles anymore. I just finished solving enough of my own inner ones to last an eternity. Though that's probably passed by now.
"Indeed you have, child. That is the reason why you were here, though it has not been an eternity," that voice replied, more like Master Splinter with each word," You are here because your spirit was in torment and needed a chance to sort itself out. Now that you have done so, you are ready to return."
Huh? My spirit's in torment? That's something new. I thought that all went to my body, since it more or less got beaten a pulp before I came here. And just what does this…being mean by returning?
"What your body felt was only the physical pain of your wounds, Magnolia. That is a far cry from the torment of the spirit, of your soul, which is always greater than the pains afflicted upon the mortal shell," the voice said gently," Yours was in particular torment, because it has been through so much in so short a time."
Is this guy serious? In so short a time? I've been feeling bad for years now, not a short time. I don't know what dictionary this being is using but I think he better find a new one. Short is something like days, not years.
"What is long to you is short to us, Magnolia. There is a difference, as there are among many things that you have yet to understand," my companion said sharply.
I decided that it was better not to answer about now. I knew that tone all too well for my taste. Master Splinter always got it when one of us had disobeyed him and he was about to punish the offender.
"For the moment, that is wise, Magnolia. Now is not the time for you to talk, it is time for you to listen," the voice said, more gently than before," As I said, you are here because your soul temporarily slipped from its shell and is now here for healing for the regret it feels toward your family. Though you do not know it, that regret has been eating at your spirit since you left your home and has continued to grow into the darkness that surrounds you now."
WHAT!? If I had been able to talk, I'm certain that would have been heard for miles. As it was, it just went as far as me and my invisible companion.
"Yes. This darkness, this nothingness that you have spent your time in is of your own creation. It is the regret that consumed you and would have continued to do so had you not been willing to seek the forgiveness of those you hurt. When you did that, and accepted what you had done, the darkness stopped growing and is receding even as I speak," the voice chuckled," Soon, it will be gone and you will be free to leave here. To return to the world you left behind. Farewell child, and remember what you have learned here."
Then it's gone. All of it. Whoever was here with me leaves before I can say anything. I'm alone in the darkness, no, alone in my regret again. I want to ask more, but I never have the chance. Just as I never have the chance to recognize the light before it consumes me and everything goes blank all over again.
Chapter 2: Regrets and Memories
Well, I'm still here, wherever here is. Or rather, I think that my consciousness is still. I have the feeling that I left body back on the floor of my cell when I blacked out. Hmm, what do you know? That's the first real feeling that I've had since I got to this dump. It's harder than I thought to do anything when you don't have a body to move around in. Not there's much to do here but think even if I still were in mine, but still. It's the principle of the idea that I'm getting at.
For reason, I really don't feel the passage of time as I did when I knew that I was alive. Here in the darkness, things just sort of stand still. Like there's no reason to hurry things and there's a force that keeps them at a single moment forever. So I really don't know how long I've been drifting here, if that's what you can call it. It could have been weeks, days, hours, even an eternity for all I know since my body finally gave up and I ended up in this place, which I still don't know how to get out of even there is one.
Despite all this confusion and nothingness that I'm stuck in, there is one thing that I'm certain of: I'm bored. Weird as it sounds, I am bored to tears. Well, not really but that's beside the point. All I can really do here is think and I got my fill of that when I used to spend my afternoons meditating with the guys and Splinter.
Splinter. Hmm, there's a name that I would remember no matter where I was. I haven't thought of it much the last few months, but it was one of the first things I learned when I was old enough to starting getting the gist of verbal language.
It is or maybe was the name of the one that I saw as father, teacher and friend for my entire life. Well, there was that period when I was fourteen when I considered him to be something else. It's the feelings of that time that's gotten me into this mess and I don't think I'll really ever stop regretting those times. But, I think I'll worry more about that later. At this rate, I'll probably have more than enough time for that. Right now, since I've already gotten myself thinking about the old guy, I'll just stick to the good memories of Splinter.
Wonder how many of those I could count or even if I could manage? Probably never could, since there are too many to ever count and be sure of to begin with. I just know that there were a lot of good things about being with Splinter and what they've come to mean to me is something I would never trade, even to get out of being in the dark like this.
Yes, despite the times he was strict with me and didn't seem to understand me no matter how he tried and failed, he meant that much to me. Both him and my brothers. It was Splinter who took me in, gave me my name after I was found and raised me to be the person that I am, much good that it's done me. Thanks to him, I know what it means to be a decent person and that fighting isn't the only way to fight an injustice. Though if you have to, then give it everything you can. Strike hard and disappear, that was the lesson that he taught us all from the moment we could walk.
We? That's definitely a term that I haven't used in a long time. For the last two years, the only things that I've used are me and maybe us. Never a we. That in my mind means a group of people that you can trust, no matter what you do. Me just means watching out for myself and us is just a group that's been stuck together and doesn't have a choice in the matter, like in Rancor.
When I do think of we, I think not only of Splinter but of my brothers too. They're what makes of we in my mind. There were six of us; Splinter, my four brothers and me.
I suppose I thought of this before, but if it'll help to pass the time, then who cares? My brothers were all older than me by three years. This gap in our ages often separated us when we were growing up, since they, like all older children, felt that it wasn't the place of smaller youngsters to tag along and slow the rest down. Younger children were meant to stay at home and out of the way while the rest had the fun. A philosophy that I didn't and I'm sure that all younger siblings will never agree with.
That was often an attitude that all my brothers had from time to time and I always hated when they pulled that on me. Still, there were times when I couldn't have asked for better playmates and friends. On the days when I was upset or when I hurt myself when we were playing, they were always there for me. They would comfort me and try to help me feel better until we could get Splinter to look at the problem.
They were each different as anyone could ask for and I had a different relationship with each one, just like they did with each other. My oldest brother was named Leonardo and was possibly the closest thing you would ever come to having a Splinter clone without the use of DNA. Leonardo, or Leo as the rest of us called him, he was always the first one to try and please Master Splinter, regardless of what it meant doing. He spent more time practicing and meditating than the rest of us combined sometimes and never once disagreed with our Sensei.
This sort of thing earned Leo a place of honor from Splinter, so that often left him in charge when our Sensei. That was something Leo took pride in and took as seriously as he did everything else. It also earned him resentment from the rest of us. It annoyed us to no end when he tried to boss around and make us do things the way he thought we should, but none more than Raphael.
He was what I guess you could call the second born son of the family, but I'm not really sure. I don't think anyone does really, even Splinter. Even with all their different personalities and sizes, no one's ever been really sure who was born or rather hatched first among the Turtles. So it was based more on actions and personality that came to who was older among the Turtles and in that case, Raphael was second.
Not that he enjoyed having to listen to Leo; any fool could see that. In fact he hated it when anyone told him what to do. Anyone but Splinter who tried was bound to find themselves beaten into a senseless pulp.
That sort of action came from Raphael's fierce temper. He always had one, practically from the day he was mutated. Maybe even before then. Splinter, the only one who had any clear memory of that day, used to tell us stories of what happened then. He would say that whenever someone got in his way, then Raphael would lash out or try to fight them. It usually took Splinter himself to calm Raph down again when that happened. I'm not sure if that's an exaggeration or not, but I know for a fact that Raphael did fight a lot when we were growing up.
When we were kids, it was mostly with Leo, who was the one always bossing us around, and sometimes my other two brothers, Don and Mikey. He and I never really came close to having a fight until much later in our lives, since the one bit of chivalry Raphael seemed to have prevented him from beating up on a girl and someone smaller than him. At least, not in a fist fight. He saved that for when I was allowed to spar with the rest of them.
I was never as big and strong as he was back then, so I never came close to beating him. Heck, I never came close to beating any of them when it came to sparring when I was younger. I was always smaller and weaker than my brothers as a kid, no matter what I tried.
That sort of played in my favor when it came to other parts of ninjitsu, the type of martial art that we were taught by Splinter. Where I failed to beat my brothers in sparring and strength, I could almost always beat them in stealth and strategy. I've always been good at moving around unheard when I want to, and making plans of attack. Leo was pretty good at planning too, but I could still outdo him when it came the finer details, just like I did the others three.
The real genius of the family though, was Donatello, my third brother. Next to me, he was the quiet one. He was the one who would spend hours on end just looking at what the rest of us thought was a piece of junk, trying to figure it out. Sometimes, he got so enthralled with a problem that he would literally ignore everything and everyone else around him, it was so interesting to him. The only way to even catch his attention was to get right up in his face, between him and the object he studied so intently. I can remember more than once that's what Splinter had to do, just to get him to move around and eat.
Eating, now that reminds me of only one person or should I say Turtle. My fourth brother and the person that I was closest to in the world, Michelangelo. Now there is a person that could not only out eat anyone, but also get even the grumpiest person, and when I say that I mean Raph of course, in the world to laugh. In my opinion, he was the sweetheart of our family and probably the one that kept us all from killing each other when we were stuck in the Lair all those times.
It was also Mikey who actually saved my life and brought me to Splinter's attention. Yes, hard as it is to believe, it's true. I don't remember exactly what happened myself, but I've been told enough times by Splinter to know what happened that day. He and my brothers had been out scavenging in the sewers for supplies, or rather Sensei was doing that. My brothers, only three at the time, were too busy playing to be of much help.
Now, in one of those rare times when Splinter wasn't watching him, Mikey wandered away from the others. He went deeper into the sewers, toddling along without any concern for the panic that Splinter was bound to be in once he found one of his sons gone. Well, Mikey hadn't really wandered that far but it was enough for him to find me.
I was lying in the muck of the sewer, wrapped in a dirty old blanket and squalling like there was no tomorrow. Which would have been true if things hadn't gone the way they had. See, being as young and confined from the world as he was, Mikey had never seen anything like me before. So naturally he became interested and wanted to know more about me.
To this day, no one knows how he did it but somehow, Mike fished me out of the gunk I was stuck in and dragged me over to a corner under one of the pipelines. Splinter used to say many times that he was surprised that neither of us got hurt from that experience.
Once he had me, he tried keeping me in his lap, but it wasn't that easy since my blanket was pretty gross at the time and I probably squirming like crazy. Even so, he somehow managed and he stayed with me until Splinter finally showed up looking for him.
And that's more or less how I initially joined what would become my family. If Mikey hadn't wandered off and found me, I would probably have been dead long before this. Which means that next to Splinter, I mostly owe Michelangelo for my getting as far as I did in life.
In the end though, I owe something to each of them. To Splinter, who was both my father and my teacher, I owe the code of honor that I've tried to live by. Not completely, since there are a few things about that that I find strange, but for the most part, I try. Leonardo, who offered a guiding hand and patience when I had a problem.
Raphael, the one who taught me how to fight in ways that didn't involve going by the book and how to show others that size doesn't always matter. And a few other things that I don't think that I'll mention about now. Don, the patience one who helped me understand reading and science better when no one else could or would. And Mikey, the one who was my best friend and comrade growing up and in everything else.
The more I think about these people, the ones who made up my life before I left them, the more I regret what I did to them. They deserved better for what they did for me, better than my just walking out on them like I did, without even giving them a decent farewell. Now that's what I regret most, not saying good-bye. If I had, maybe I wouldn't have ended up here. They could have been there to stop me and talk some sense into me before I did something stupid. But of course, I was stupid!
I was fourteen, what else was to be expected of me? I was stupid, arrogant and too hotheaded to know when it was better to let others help me instead of pushing them away like I did. I thought that I knew better than they did, and that I didn't need them, especially when they wouldn't give me the answers that I wanted. Well, I certainly went my own way and look where it got me. Stuck in a bunch of nothing that could be hell for all I know or just someone's idea of a cosmic joke.
Well, like everyone says when they end up like this, if I had known beforehand what would happen, then I wouldn't have done it. I would have used my head and done the opposite. Of course, by then it's always too late and there's no way to turn back the clock to fix it. What's done is done and when it is, all you can do is take what remains as it is.
But that doesn't mean I can't work with what I have. I may have made some mistakes in the past but there's always the chance of making what comes after them better again. And even if this darkness is a punishment that I've earned and should probably keep to, I would take the chance if I could to get out of here if it meant doing just that. Making things right again with my family.
In the darkness, I hear someone chuckle. For the first time since I got here, I'm actually startled. I still don't know how long I've been here, but I've been around long enough to know that I was the only one here. At least, I thought I was.
"You are not alone, child," a voice says, sounding remarkably like Splinter's," You never were. We just didn't want to disturb you until you were ready for us to come to you."
Whoa, hold it! There are actually others here besides me in this place? I don't see anyone, but I'm starting to sense something that wasn't there before. Great, so I'm not alone after all. So why haven't they shown up before this?! That's what I want to ask and a lot more, but basically can't since I don't have a mouth and somehow I doubt that I would get a straight answer even if I could. If whoever is speaking to me sounds that much like Master Splinter, then they're bound to make things as difficult to figure out as he did sometimes. And probably get a kick out of it like I swear he did sometimes.
Again that voice chuckles gently," There is no need for you to speak, child. We can hear your thoughts as well as you hear us now. If you wish for us to know anything, then you need only think it and we will hear it."
All right, if you, they or whoever is there can hear me so well, then let's see you answer this. What is this place, who are you and what do you mean by not disturbing me until I was ready?
"Ah, you truly are worthy of your spirit," the voice laughs," So many questions at once, just as we expected of you. I'm sorry to say that I cannot answer your second question. Know only that I and the others with me mean you no harm. We are friends and are here only to help you when you are ready."
And just what were you were waiting for me to be ready for? I'm sorry to be rude, but I'm really not in the mood for riddles anymore. I just finished solving enough of my own inner ones to last an eternity. Though that's probably passed by now.
"Indeed you have, child. That is the reason why you were here, though it has not been an eternity," that voice replied, more like Master Splinter with each word," You are here because your spirit was in torment and needed a chance to sort itself out. Now that you have done so, you are ready to return."
Huh? My spirit's in torment? That's something new. I thought that all went to my body, since it more or less got beaten a pulp before I came here. And just what does this…being mean by returning?
"What your body felt was only the physical pain of your wounds, Magnolia. That is a far cry from the torment of the spirit, of your soul, which is always greater than the pains afflicted upon the mortal shell," the voice said gently," Yours was in particular torment, because it has been through so much in so short a time."
Is this guy serious? In so short a time? I've been feeling bad for years now, not a short time. I don't know what dictionary this being is using but I think he better find a new one. Short is something like days, not years.
"What is long to you is short to us, Magnolia. There is a difference, as there are among many things that you have yet to understand," my companion said sharply.
I decided that it was better not to answer about now. I knew that tone all too well for my taste. Master Splinter always got it when one of us had disobeyed him and he was about to punish the offender.
"For the moment, that is wise, Magnolia. Now is not the time for you to talk, it is time for you to listen," the voice said, more gently than before," As I said, you are here because your soul temporarily slipped from its shell and is now here for healing for the regret it feels toward your family. Though you do not know it, that regret has been eating at your spirit since you left your home and has continued to grow into the darkness that surrounds you now."
WHAT!? If I had been able to talk, I'm certain that would have been heard for miles. As it was, it just went as far as me and my invisible companion.
"Yes. This darkness, this nothingness that you have spent your time in is of your own creation. It is the regret that consumed you and would have continued to do so had you not been willing to seek the forgiveness of those you hurt. When you did that, and accepted what you had done, the darkness stopped growing and is receding even as I speak," the voice chuckled," Soon, it will be gone and you will be free to leave here. To return to the world you left behind. Farewell child, and remember what you have learned here."
Then it's gone. All of it. Whoever was here with me leaves before I can say anything. I'm alone in the darkness, no, alone in my regret again. I want to ask more, but I never have the chance. Just as I never have the chance to recognize the light before it consumes me and everything goes blank all over again.
