Chapter Six: Not in Kansas Anymore

And it all fell away from her in the reverb of the piano.

She just closed her eyes and all the questions and the lies were gone. She shut out Angel's glare and held Guiseppe's smile behind her eyes. She felt Spike on her skin, smooth as sin, and she smiled peacefully to herself as her song began.

"Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down
And we went round and round
Each time we would miss, we'd steal a kiss"

At the velvet of her voice, Spike looked away from his target.

She looked so beautiful on that stage. The red of her dress matched the red on her lips and her hair fell like Goldilocks all around her shoulders. He wanted to reach out and touch her. But she was in the light and he was standing in the shadows. They were in two different worlds now.

So, he set off to do what he knew how to do. With his hat slung low, he walked through the darkness to the corner table where the boss always sat.

"Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down
And it made the darnedest sound,
The lights went low, we both said "Oh!"
And the Merry-Go-Round went
"Um-pah-pah, um-pah-pah"

The crowd was going wild for her. They always did. Their feet were stomping and their glasses clinking. But Angel wasn't a part of that Heaven.  He sought out the darkness to find his revenge. And it didn't take him long.

There was a dark figure stalking through the club towards the corner table---towards his father. Angel followed his own gaze with a quick step and took the blade out from his belt. It felt cold in his palm and the coldness spread through his empty chest, filling him up, giving him meaning. Spike would die tonight.

And onstage, Buffy couldn't tell anything was amiss in Heaven. She was thrusting with her whole body as she sang.

"Um-pah-pah, um-pah-pah

"Um-pah-pah, um-pah-pah"

Xander snuck in through the back entrance, his collar flipped high, just in time to see Angel pull the blade from his belt. And he knew exactly where Angel was headed---towards Spike. So Xander hurried after him as smoothly as possible.

"Oh what fun – what a wonderful time
Finding love for only a dime."

Guiseppe was sitting at his corner table sipping his brandy and he had a gentle smile as he looked up at the stage. She was so beautiful. And happy. She was happy onstage. It was the only time he had ever seen her so. Up there, in the spotlight, she had a glow to her.

A glow she lost after Sunnydale fell.

And his smile faded at that memory. That reality. That reality was over. He had ended it. He had ended it for her. She had been so unhappy there after it was over. After that ending. Buffy had no place in the world.

After Willow had released the Magiks and birthed all the potential slayers, Buffy wasn't the Chosen One anymore. And maybe even more important to him—he wasn't her Watcher. He hadn't been in a long time.  She didn't think she needed to be watched. But she did.

So he took her.

Her and Angel. He only took Angel because he had been certain that Angel's presence would ensure her happiness. But now he supposed he had been wrong. He lifted his glass to his lips and tried to think of how things had gone so wrong. How other people had gotten here—in this new place he created special, just for them.

Spike.  How had me managed to get here?

He was certain that it was Spike as soon as he saw Buffy's face. It didn't matter that Angel had seen him---Buffy had that look in her eyes again. The look only Spike could give her. So he knew it was real. But Spike was dead. He had sacrificed himself.

So what was he doing here? Standing over him now---looking down at him as he sipped at his brandy snifter.

"Spike?" Guiseppe asked hoarsely, with surprise creeping in at the end. "What are you doing here?"

"Red sent me," Spike replied plainly, his eyes focused like daggers on his target. "The witch wants you dead, she says it's necessary. The world's not right now, and it won't be again with you in it." 

Spike didn't know why he was standing here talking to the old man when he should just be killing him. But then he remembered, the reason was on stage singing her bloody heart out.

"Oh, the Merry-Go-Round broke down
But you don't see me frown…"

"Of course," Guiseppe muttered to himself, lost in thought. "I am the one to break the spell because I am the one that created the spell---created this world."

Spike pulled his long blade from under his black overcoat. He didn't want to do this. It felt wrong. But he held the blade anyway, uncertain of his next move. The old man didn't see the glimmer of light at the pointy tip, but Angel did. And he ran over to them with his own knife burning his hand, itching to kill.

Xander yelled out a warning to Spike, but his voice was drowned out by Buffy's sultry song.

"Things turned out fine and now he's mine -
Cause the Merry-Go-Round broke down..."

Guiseppe looked up just in time to see Angel approach behind Spike.

He recognized the hatred burning Angel's eyes and he smelled death in the air. He heard Buffy's voice singing and without a second thought Guiseppe jumped up just in time to push Spike out of the way of Angel's wrath.

And the knife slid deep into the old man's side. 

Angel twisted it in rage before he realized what had happened. After he knew what he had done, he pulled his knife out, his eyes opened wide in horror.

When the blood spilled out from the old man's side, Heaven erupted in cheers at the end of Buffy's song. And she glanced over to the corner table with a smile on her lips, looking almost victorious with the roar all around her.

But when she saw him fall to the floor already covered in his blood, her smile died wretched and slow, contorted by the reality and she screamed with all the pain of a thousand deaths.

"Giles!"

At the sound of that name, Spike looked up at her from the place on the floor he had fallen.  And Giles's eyes closed in recognition. And Xander ran to their side. And Angel's brow creased in memory. And the witch stepped out of the shadows and kneeled by the old man, taking his shaking hand in hers with a loving touch.

"Hello Willow," he whispered to the witch without surprise. "Who's the amateur now?" he asked weakly as he searched her face for forgiveness but saw there was no need.  Willow smiled at him with only love in her eyes. "I only wanted her to be happy."

"I know," she hushed him.  "From now on she will be.  I promise."

Then Buffy was at his side, frantic. "Giles, what's going on? Where are we? What are we doing here?"

Willow stood and backed away a little to give them some solitude before Heaven started to decay, and she knew it would.

"Buffy, shhhh, listen to me, we haven't much time. You don't belong here. Neither do we," and he motioned around to their little circle that had gathered around them.

Buffy looked around and saw Willow and Xander and Spike and Angel, each in turn, circled around them.  She looked down at herself in the red dress and Giles laying in his own blood. 

"But why?" she asked as the tears came.

"I just wanted you to be happy. You seemed so sad and you deserve to be happy. This was the best I could do for you," he gasped.

Breathing was getting to be difficult for him.  She looked at him in alarm—she knew what was coming for him. She had seen it countless times before. Buffy reached out for him, she had to get him out of here---but her hands went right through him. Her eyes grew even larger and her mouth opened wide, but no words came. She was helpless.

"You looked so beautiful up there in the light, Buffy. So happy. Your songs made me so happy."

Then the world started to melt all around them and Giles seemed to dissipate before her eyes, blending in with the floor and finally disappearing all together. And the world he had constructed for them started to fall apart.

Buffy was still kneeled on the floor, her hands red with his blood when the cracks began to show. There was a deafening sound all around them, like paper shredding, and pieces of Heaven flew by their heads, out of their hands and away from them. Colors blurred together and dripped from the walls, swirling like a tornado all around them. It was the end of this world.

And she was lost.

Buffy didn't know what to do next or where to go. In fact, she didn't have a clue just who she really was or where she was and this world breaking apart this whole business was making her sick to her stomach. There was no one else around. They had all gone ahead. But she didn't want to leave this world. It was all she could still remember clearly.  All the rest was blurry.

Then Spike was there with her.

He would always be with her.  That much was clear. He kneeled down next to her and took her hands with his. She met his eyes with longing and need. And for that moment, everything stood still.

"This isn't where we belong, Buffy. You know that," he said softly to her, his eyes squinting a little, willing her to understand.

She swallowed a moment before speaking to him and what she said sounded like a confession. "I don't think I could go through this again if you weren't---Are you real, Spike?"

"Only when I'm with you, pet," he replied with a smile and a nod. "Let's go, love, the world's falling in on us again and we're not in Kansas anymore."

Buffy stood, balancing herself on Spike's strong arm. And holding onto each other, they walked out of what was still left of Heaven to find what the real world held for them.