Through A Mirror Darkly


Soon, soon the flesh
The grave cave ate will be
At home on me

And I am a smiling woman.

-Sylvia Plath, Lady Lazarus


Chapter 6- A lady lazaruS

Knotting the strips of cloth back together, Kagome nodded satisfactorily and lightly patted the man's leg. "It's good you've been keeping off it, but it still will take some time to heal up. It's a bad break, Kossetsu-san."

Kneeling just inside the door of the hut, Kagome had taken over as the local miko, at least for a couple days in the absence of Kikyou. Though her face was still somewhat new, it was also reminiscent of one they did trust, and she was readily accepted, though sometimes they were surprised at the more lighthearted demeanor of the younger priestess.

It was the afternoon of the day after Kikyou left, riding off with Shinju to find the village and bury the bones of the youkai that had slaughtered each other in the fields and run through the destroyed town. The young man laying out before her was fidgety, stir crazy before many settings of the sun. It was going to be hard convincing him to do what he should: stay in bed, keep the leg up, and rest.

"But I was hoping to go..."

"Kossetsu," his wife admonished, kneeling down beside him and smoothing out her skirt, and offering him a cup of water, "You'll make it worse if you don't follow Kagome-sama's orders. Do you want all my running around and saving you to go to waste?" She arched an eyebrow, folding her arms imperiously, causing Kossetsu to duck sheepishly and Kagome to suppress a giggle. Kossetsu's wife Seiko was a force to be reckoned with...at least where her husband was concerned. "Besides, you go out now and mess yourself up again, you can tell me who's going to do the harvesting when I'm as big as a watermelon?" she patted her stomach meaningfully.

"I didn't mean it like that, dear..." he tried to reason with her and she shrugged, shaking her head and smiling lightly, pressing the water at him again. Accepting it, he thanked her.

"How long have you two been married?" Kagome asked, tilting her head to the side and finally allowing herself to chuckle at the scene.

"Two months," Kossetsu mumbled around the clay mug, earning a sour look from Seiko.

"Don't talk while you're drinking."

He polished off the glass and set it down. "I'm answering the miko-sama's question!"

She rolled her eyes, then looked at Kagome conspiratorially, whispering with a hand to the side of her mouth. "Two months, and he's already knocked me up. See what happens when you get married young?"

"You were the one who dragged me off to get married!"

"Ho, yes, and if I knew you'd be silly enough want to go running off with the rest of the rabble and mess up your leg again maybe I would have picked someone smarter."

He looked to the ceiling covered heaven for patience. "Why do I doubt that?"

She brought up a hand to her mouth and started laughing. Kagome was shaking her head and standing up, swinging her borrowed bag of medicines over her shoulder. Kossetsu would be just fine, especially if Seiko would whip him into shape if he tried to move too much.

But...rest of the rabble? Run off where? "Seiko-san, run off with who to where?"

The laughter died down a moment later, and she sobered slightly, the couple looking wide eyed at the question. "The other men from our village," she explained after a moment. "There's been some talk last night and this morning, that if the miko-sama went to put the bones of the youkai to rest, then perhaps some of them would be of help to remove the remains. Kossetsu wanted to go off with them, broken leg and all."

"It's not as severe as you make it sound..." he insisted.

"Ha! I doubt that," Seiko scolded. "Two miko, your wife, and your brother have all told you to stay put, and you still want to go running off to do dangerous and heavy lifting. Baka."

"Seiko-san is right," Kagome backed, looking down at him sprawled on the pallet. "You'll need to keep the leg still for several weeks or the fracture won't heal properly. You'll limp or have other problems. So stick with the peg leg for awhile, okay? We'll just call you gimpy," she winked.

He grunted unhappily, earning a sigh from Seiko. "Thank you, Kagome-sama."

"I'll stop by again tomorrow to check up. Kikyou should be back in a day or two as well, assuming everything is going all right out there."

"Until tomorrow then, miko-sama," Seiko bowed as Kagome ducked out the front and into the warm afternoon sunlight.

She sighed, taking a breath of the clear air. One thing that always remained so starkly different, despite its smallness, was the cleanliness of the air, scented with food from cookfires and of the forest and the crops. The sengoku jidai was as beautiful as it was dangerous, and it owned both in spades. During the day, she kept herself busy, tending to what she could, amazed at the amounts of knowledge she had managed to pick up from listening to Kaede, or watching Sango or Miroku patch another member of the group up. Field dressings and herbs with with their pungent smells, astringent and unlike a hospital's crisp chemical scent. Beautiful and violent and lonely.

Kagome shook herself. Work. Keep busy, keep moving. There was lots to do, an endless cycle interrupted only by a quick lunch of rice balls, brought by a thoughtful Chikara before Kaede took off for the cave. That was better than two hours ago, now. Kagome had deliberated between allowing the younger girl to go help him. Partly because she wanted to keep Kaede away from him, to protect her. Not necessarily physically, but perhaps mentally. Who knew what Onigumo would say to her? Naraku was certainly twisted enough. Though he was still unconscious, so if he slept through the changing of his bandages the situation wasn't as bad. Kaede was eager to see the battered man in the cave, mostly out of sheer childlike curiosity. Going once may cure her of that.

She admitted, reluctantly, that part of her reasoning of letting her go was simply that Kagome herself was not sure if she could handle helping someone she'd been trying to help kill for several months. Onigumo was her enemy. The enemy of everyone she knew and cared for. Alone in the cave with him, she could easily kill him, avenge everything before it happened. It was tempting, very tempting. She wouldn't forgive him for the actions he was going to make. Never. The world was a far better place without him.

And if she did kill him? Then her world- her sengoku jidai- and her place in it would not come to pass. The thought of helping him to survive long enough to become Naraku was purely sickening, turning her stomach. That would be helping him kill Kikyou, helping him pin Inuyasha to the Goshinboku, helping him curse Miroku-sama and his family, and helping him kill all the people that he or his detachments had come in contact with for over the next fifty years.

That blood would be on her hands then as well.

Was their future a fair sacrifice for hers?

"Kagome-sama..." a low voice sounded from behind her, and she turned, seeing a very peeved looking Kaede walking wrathfully forward. "That Onigumo is...is...ugh!" she spluttered, seeming at a temporary loss of words.

Several thoughts clicked in Kagome's head at once. First, Kaede knew Onigumo's name. Second, that meant he had awakened. Three, he had spoken to her, obviously of something Kaede didn't like. Which meant it was probably her Kikyou-oneesama. So fast. It was beginning so fast.

"He's awakened then?"

"Heh," she snorted, folding her arms and glowering at nothing in particular. "He's creepy. You're probably right, he probably was a bandit."

Concernedly, Kagome frowned down at Kaede as she looked around for a street that she had not yet traversed in her medical rounds. "What did he say?"

The scowl grew deeper on her face as Kaede fell into slow step with Kagome. "First he woke up. I thought that was great at first because he could talk. Figures. He wanted to know who I was so I told him and then he wanted to know where Kikyou-oneesama was, and why I was here instead. So I told him, nothing weird there, and he told me his name and that some bad men attacked him for his money or something and threw him down there."

Still curious, Kagome prompted her a little more, knowing that contradicted what she did know of Onigumo's past. "That doesn't sound so bad yet. What makes you think...Onigumo...is so creepy?"

Kaede gave her a bizarre look. "You're the one who was creeped out by him when you and onee-sama found him. Sheesh," she shrugged, looking disgusted, and Kagome assumed most of that was simply from exposure to Onigumo. "He kept asking about onee-sama. A lot. Where she was, what she was doing, why, that kind of stuff, even after I told him. Just..things. I don't like him and I hope Kikyou-oneesama gets back soon so she knows about him too."

Quietly, Kagome turned down the street leading to Chikara's hut, since she had not yet traversed that particular street. She'd do a round there. Still, all this helping of people...she didn't know who they all were, on a personal level. For all she knew, their children or grandchildren were the bandits of her sengoku jidai heyday. She placed one foot before the other, lightly passing over the dirt lane. "Do you think Kikyou would tell you that we should stop taking care of him just because he was asking about her?"

Kaede struggled with that concept a moment. Care for someone despite of who they were? Was everyone entitled to care, despite who or what they were? Glumly, she sighed. "Probably not...it's not right to just leave him there to rot."

Tilting her head back, Kagome looked up to the cloudless sky, her hair streaming cooly down her back as she considered Kaede's response. No, she supposed she couldn't leave Onigumo in the cave to rot, as much as she wanted to. Knowing what he was. Still, it was Onigumo. It was Naraku, in what was likely only a short time from now.

"He still creeps me out," Kaede continued, oblivious to the thoughts running through Kagome's head. She glanced up at the thoughtful expression on the older girl's face. "Will you go to the cave tomorrow instead of me? I know I said I would, but..." she shuddered uncomfortably. "I don't want to go alone there anymore."

She could see Kagome tensing up at the prospect. Her voice was tight and thin when she replied a moment later, "I guess I should..."

"Thanks," sighed Kaede, feeling relieved. She'd definitely have to tell onee-sama about this guy, though. She was sure that her sister wouldn't leave him there, but she couldn't help but feel a guilty twinge of relief that he wouldn't last very long cooped up in that cave. Something about that place just felt too eerie. Foreboding and dark. Evil.

Then, suddenly, in the middle of the street, Kagome stopped, looking around. "Kaede-chan, do you see anything?" A puzzled frown was marring Kagome's features as she glanced up and down the street. Kaede joined her in her search, seeing only the usual people moving around, though this particular area had fewer people out at that particular moment. She tried to concentrate. There was something there, subtle, barely perceptible, now that she tried to find it. Some source of jaki, faint and small. "A minor-"

"Let's keep walking, Kaede-chan," Kagome interrupted, just slightly too brightly. Was she wrong? No, the smile on Kagome's face was a little too fake. There was something there. Edging a bit closer to the miko, she kept up as Kagome moved steadily down the street, heading straight for Chikara-obaasan's.

The feeling of youki slithered on the fringes of Kagome's senses, oozing into her mind like a serpent about to strike. She didn't like it. So small, so well concealed- so close. She forcibly kept a hand from slipping to her throat to check on the small ball of the Shikon no Tama, ever so lightly clinking against the empty glass bottle around her neck. Her first test then. She had half hoped it wouldn't come so soon. What was it? What was watching? Something small, or able to hide itself...or both. Her palms itched to hold a bow in them. She could protect herself. She could. And Kaede. And the village. She was a miko too, wasn't she? Yes.

Chikara-obaasan had a quiver and a bow in her house. They were plain in her memory, resting against the wall when she'd been searching for something to eat for Shinju the day before. They had to be in the same place. They just had to. She needed her weapon. It was close. Curious. It knew something was happening, though she hoped it did not yet know just what. If it struck before she was armed, she'd be in trouble. Why hadn't she armed herself first thing this morning? That was unbelievably careless of her. She should have known better. But the village had always been a safe haven for them, somewhere that was not attacked, that was protected.

But that was fifty years from now, when the villagers, lacking Kikyou to defend them, had obviously been forced to learn to defend themselves, with the aid of a growing miko named Kaede.

Cursing her habitual comfort in the familiar area, she stopped. "I'm going to grab something real quick. Be right back. Wait here, okay?"

A gruff nod was her reply, and Kaede casually leaned up against the outer wall of the house, eyes scanning around from under dark bangs warily. Kagome tried not to smile. Sometimes she could see flashes of Kaede-obaachan in Kaede-chan. Still, it seemed surreal to see the elderly miko as a child. She ducked quickly inside, seeking the arrows.

They rested against the far wall as they had before, and a puzzled Chikara looked up from her brazier, startled to see Kagome suddenly slip into the room on silent feet, looking worried.

"Kagome-sama?" she began to stand, only to be waved urgently down and back by Kagome, who snatched up the arrows.

"Stay here. I need these, all right?"

A startled nod, and Kagome was back out the door, aware that Chikara was on her feet and probably heading for a window to see what was happening.

Stepping back out, an arrow slowly being drawn to the string, Kagome scanned the empty space of the street before her, slightly darkened by the narrow, stretching shadows of the houses. The jaki grew stronger, now that her weapon was in plain view, gathering itself for offense or defense, depending on who would strike first. It grew nearer, stronger, still low, still invisible.

Kaede began to press further up against the outer wall of Chikara's house, the presence becoming strong enough to menace her senses as well, eyes darting from Kagome to the ground, then to Kagome again, who had the most consternated expression on her features, brows drawn so tightly down, lips thin and expression serious. For a moment, Kaede relaxed, the older girl's face so like her trusted sister's that she trusted her the same way, though needed to remind herself that Kagome was untested. The similarity was so startling though, here, about to fight. Why? Kagome was not related to them, she was not a family member, she was not her sister. Who was she?

A snake. It could only be a snake, that slithering, coiling feeling of a serpent about to strike. But Kagome could not see it, and if she couldn't see it she couldn't tell where to shoot. The quiver was despairingly empty, the two remaining arrows shifting hollowly inside the leather case, echoing. There had to be a way to make it visible. If it was concealing itself, then there had to be a way to reveal it. It was low to the ground, so...flicking the bow upward and pulling the arrow back, the stiff white fletching brushing her cheek lightly, she shot the earth.

The arrow impaled the dusty street, lilac light puddling around like a blossom exploding, spreading outward brightly and illuminating the narrow shadows with a softly sparkling sheen. Then, off to the side of the street, a wriggling, armlength viper began to writhe, thrashing wildly as the light swallowed the ground beneath it, purifying the very land it slithered on and making it poisonous to its scaled underbelly. Reeling, the light continued to prickle up around it, and a steady, violent hissing issued from its forked tongue.

Moving forward quickly, before the creature could throw itself out of the way of her arrow's space, Kagome nocked another of the bolts to her string, drawing back. She would hit this terrible creature and kill it. She was the miko here, she was the one defending everyone, and without her, this almost ridiculously small monster could bite and kill someone. She sure as hell was not having that on her hands as well. It would die.

The second arrow flew, a clean, focused shot that stabbed it into the ground, the purifying arrow sparking for only an instant before its job was done, jutting out from the earth, the steaming snake spasming one last time before lying still, and turning to mere ashes and bones.

Hurrying over, she looked down at the dead thing, lying there in a contorted position, the thing's long spine knotted in on itself and arched backward sickeningly. Dead. She had done it. By herself. Not that it was that big, but that was the point. She had hit it. A small, nasty little target that had been moving. She had actually hit it. The feeling made her slightly giddy for a moment, happy that she, Higurashi Kagome, had managed to kill the youkai by herself.

Perhaps that was why, in that instant, she felt the source of jaki weaken, but not disappear, instead fading slightly like a wilted flower, bowing low and out of sight. And, since no other miko of her caliber were around to notice the movement of the source, or any keen eyed villagers to see puffs of dust slither off towards the forest, the rushing presence of a second youkai went entirely unnoticed in the moment of triumph.

Kaede edged up behind Kagome, and there was a rustling of bamboo drapery as Chikara peered out from her doorway. Eyeing the rope of ribs, Kaede tentatively bent down and pulled the arrow out of the body. "Well, it's dead," she declared, stating what was obvious, since it seemed like someone just needed to say it. "Should we wrap it up and take it to the well?"

A strange expression crossed Kagome's face. The well she jumped down, to go between times. She didn't usually think of it as a repository for dead youkai. It was a temporal warp, not a grave. "I guess," she managed, half turning to see Chikara emerge. "Do you have anything to wrap this up in? An old blanket or something?"

She nodded her graying head slowly. "I've got one. What was it?"

"Snake," Kaede spat, stepping away but extending her hand to Kagome, the arrow in it. "Really little though. I wonder what it thought it was doing in the village. It's way too small to even stand a chance of getting to...Kagome-sama," she finished, cutting her eyes upward at Kagome, fully aware of what precious gem was around the girl's throat.

"Whatever it was, it's dead now," Kagome sighed, accepting the proffered arrow from Kaede's hands and turning to Chikara. "Thanks, for the arrows."

"You're welcome. Do you have any more up at the shrine? My husband hasn't used them in awhile, you can continue with them if you like."

"I'm not sure..." Kagome trailed, only to be interrupted by Kaede tugging on her long sleeve. She looked into the girl's upturned face.

"We've got both, in case something happened to onee-sama's, though we'll have to dig them out. Onee-sama keeps her bow in good condition. So one would be dusty, but it should be fine."

"That'd be great, Kaede-chan. Thanks again, Chikara-obaasan," Kagome repeated, handing back the quiver and bow, quickly moving to pluck the first arrow out of the ground and rejoin it with the other two.

"Of course. Glad to know my husband's sloppy habits were useful," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "He needs to learn to put things away, not just me. Ah well," she shrugged. "I'll get you that blanket."

As Chikara moved back into her house, Kagome ran a hand through her hair, then let her fingers rest lightly on the lump under her clothing, reassuring herself that the Shikon no Tama was indeed safe, and no ghost had snatched it from her neck when she wasn't looking. It was strange though. As Kaede said, it was unlikely to be able to get the tama from her...it was too small. It could bite her, true. But somehow, that just wasn't the feeling she got...it was watching, observing. It was meant to be unnoticed, not to steal. It could have just been hunting for a meal, but it was still a youkai and this was not a normal village. Something was up. She just didn't know what. There were still youkai roaming around, unkilled, from the battle the few days prior. But the leaders were either dead or presumably leagues from here. Right?

She bit her lip, fingers splaying over the ball of the tama. If there was still a taiyoukai in the area, she wanted those arrows. And she wanted them now.

"Kaede-chan, as soon as we're done getting this to the well, I want to get those arrows."

There was a slight tone of tension in her voice, enough to worry Kaede, because it sounded like Kagome was worried. Though getting the arrows right away made perfect sense. Whatever it was, she was sure Kagome-sama could handle it.

Firmly, she nodded. "Sure. We can get them right away."

That day set in a deep crimson blush, and the next dawned with bright golds, sprightly colors that would have buoyed Kagome's spirits usually, but today was the day she told Kaede she would go to the cave and help out with the burned form of Onigumo. Even Kagome couldn't help but look forward to the situation with intense reluctance, wanting more to run away than to walk to the cave. She had to remember not to smother the bastard. Or was she supposed to smother him? Or should she just shoot him? She had a full size bow now, the slender length of it nearly as tall as she, and a full quiver of arrows to compliment her bag of healing herbs, thankfully marked and measured already. Kikyou was a meticulous organizer.

The bag of medicines was bulky, lopsided items clinking together towards the bottom, wooden bowl occasionally causing a muffled clunking against the other bags and the container of mashed vegetables and strained fish broth that were wrapped up inside, meant to be the late morning brunch of Onigumo. Kagome tried not to think about it anymore; she'd have to deal with him for at least an hour while she fed him and patched him up. The sheer concept of having to do that gave her the most icy chill down her spine, making her want to curl up into a little ball and leave. If she did that, he would die. And if he died, she would never see her friends again. Never see her Inuyasha again. Though if she did not...the end result, regardless of what it was, seemed equally despicable. Take a side with Naraku, or obliterate her own future. Her choice. Should she flip a coin and leave it to fickle fate?

Her hand gripped the bow tightly as she started off from the town. Most of the morning had been spent in the new little routine she had set the day before. Go into town, meet Chikara, make sure nothing disastrous had happened overnight, politely accept an onigiri to break her nightly fast, and start out towards the far end of the village to work her way back, this time with Kaede tagging along. She procrastinated awhile before deciding to leave, but knew if she didn't soon, then her reluctance would seem oddly suspicious, though there was certainly no way for anyone to guess why she dragged her feet so heavily on her way from the village.

The golden morning grew into a lightly clouded day that occasionally sent shadows dancing across the land, allowing it to be both bright and dim at once, all chased by a cool breeze from the west. The forest thinned, and again Kagome found herself at the path to the cave, worn and with weeds bent under the few sandaled feet that had passed over them. She took a deep breath, reassuring herself stubbornly that she could handle this. However bad it was going to be. She was a miko now, and she had a job to do. The bow in her hand was brought tightly to her side, as though it could save her from a youkai preying on her mind.

Her other hand strayed to the cancerous lump of the Shikon no Tama under her clothes.

Slowly, she stepped into the cool gloom of the cave, a few shades of darkness sputtering around its uneven edges. At the center of this little mouth of the earth, a guttering candle glowed in its pool of wax, giving off a slightly sickly sweet scent in its smoke.

Onigumo lay still upon his pallet, now wrapped in white linen strips of cloth for bandages. Trapped within the bindings, only one of his eyes could be seen, closed and near transparent, lashless and slowly cracking open at the soft sound of steps in his private corner of the darkness. In the depths cast by the tiny flame by his side, he could see only a silhouette form, an outline illuminated by the faint yellow daylight from outside the cave. There were few who would come here; it was not the small one from yesterday, and she wore the clothes a miko, bearing a bag and a bow.

A voice that should have slipped along senses like silk issued from his parched lips, instead broken by the fire that had consumed him. "And who is it that comes visiting today?"

The person stiffened abruptly, halting in her motion and then willing herself forward. "My name is Kagome. I was...told...you woke up yesterday. Onigumo."

His face swelled into a minute smile, the bruises stretching the bandages from within. So easily rattled, this one was. "The little one told..." his voice broke off, choking for a moment as saliva welled up in his mouth. A moment later, his throat cleared it, and he wheezed. This Kagome had not moved to help him, or even to glance at him. In the darkness, she was completely still. A miko who did not give succor the misfortunate? The poor and injured and burned? Hoh, what an interesting concept. How pure and sweet could such a person be? Though if he wished to live- and wish he did- then perhaps provoking her would be a different matter than unsettling the little one, or watching the beautiful and sad miko who had not appeared to him for the last two days. She may not hesitate to leave him, if she believed him to be some evil bandit.

"Forgive me," he apologized, closing his visible eye and then straining to reopen it. The darkness was so inviting, he was wishing more and more to stay. "I can't breathe very well."

"I know," came the curt reply, tension coiled through the two short words. "You shouldn't strain yourself," she added, liking the idea. Maybe if he didn't talk, she could get through this nightmare. "Maybe you shouldn't talk."

His cracked voice sounded again, a scratchy whisper. "Ah, maybe you're right..."

Thank goodness. Quiet, quiet, blessed quiet, quiet and dark and lit by just the little candleflame without a paper hurricane to guide the light towards her. Kagome knelt and set aside her bow and quiver, pulling the bag of herbs from off her shoulder, then began pulling the items out in the silence, breaking the tomblike stillness with the soft clatter of pottery or wood on cold stone, lent echoes by the hollowness of the cave. She poured the fish broth into the bowl first, still steaming slightly in the cool air and warming her hands as the sparkling liquid passed into the wooden bowl from the clay jar she had placed it in.

"Smells good..."

"I thought you weren't going to talk," Kagome reminded, half panicked, the words slipping from her lips faster than she could think of them. He needed to be quiet, she had to get through this, had to feed him and fix the bandages and get the hell out of this hole and run in the clear air and just spend a moment forgetting what she was doing. "You'll make it worse."

"My voice is little. It will get little worse."

She drew down her brows and concentrated on opening the vegetable mush and turning it around with a spoon. Just ignore Onigumo. Forget about him. He's just anyone else. Ignore him. Ignore him. Think of something else. Think of...of math class. That's a lot less scary than Onigumo, and that's saying an awful lot. What had they been studying before? Geometry? Triangles? Right and obtuse and...and...something else? What was it again? Dammit. She cursed her situation again, trying not to pulverize one of the little leather bags tied to their string, labeled by their ingredients. She had already strained willow bark into the broth; it probably made it taste nasty, but oh well. It wasn't vindictive, really it wasn't. She repressed a shudder.

"Are you well, Kagome-sama?" came the question quietly, and she cut her eyes to see his looking at her from where he lay, head barely turned, muscles too damaged to turn it to the right angle. "You seem so worried."

A lock of hair fell from her shoulder to curtain away the side of her face and the strained look that was formed there. He was not being caring. Onigumo was a manipulative bastard, and he deserved to die. She had medicines here. Enough of the right one and she could poison him...let him drink a cup of that and end this. Her hands were trembling, and she tried to make them stop without taking deep breaths and alerting Naraku...Onigumo...him...to her nervousness. "I'm unused to being so unsupervised," she admitted as an excuse, trying to sound cheerful. "I'm still rather new at this, you're one of my first patients, especially one so badly wounded. Here, it's just broth," she finished, trying desperately not to clench her teeth. Holding the wooden bowl in one hand, she realized that he certainly was not going to sit up and take it from her.

Inuyasha on one of his worst days would have been proud of the string of obscenities that ran through her head. She had to feed him. Why hadn't she thought of that before? Care equaled feeding him and changing his bandages. Touching him. Contact. Disgusting and helpless and in that case not lying. He couldn't move wrapped like some undead mummy.

Naraku's smiling red eyes watched her from the back of her mind as she tried to concentrate on just getting the bowl to his lips, tilting his head upward with a hand and trying not to feel too revolted at the uneven texture underneath the wrappings. His skin was melted, shifting, though it was still soft enough as tissue, yielding though firm. It was settling into scars, and she could see humps of redness through the few narrow strips of skin beneath the more loose bandages. A moment of pity arose in her, but was instantly crushed by the sound of his greed draining the bowl with an unrefined slurp. "Ah, thank you."

She resisted to urge to drop his head on the stone floor. "You're welcome. I've also got some vegetables. Then I'll check your bandages."

So stiff, so formal! She was moving like a machine through the motions of care, trying not to look at him, not to meet his single visible eye. Did she find him so revolting to see? Surely a miko had seen as bad or even worse after a human was mauled by a youkai. Then why the unnatural disgust? So far, he had given little reason to her to loathe him so. Unless she knew him, but he was certain he had never seen a miko such as her before in his life. It was intriguing, and he watched her dig for chopsticks in her bag, downcastly triumphant a moment later when she produced them for the mash of food he was about to eat. How to get her to speak? To tell him why she seemed so hurt or angry while she sat there and tried to conduct her business as a miko.

"You are too kind, Kagome-sama. Though if you are so nervous, perhaps you should consider the methods of your elder miko...ah, what was her name? Kikyou...yes, Kikyou..." he murmured, watching her avidly and was rewarded instantly when her entire frame stiffened in the darkness and she shot him a furious look, quickly masked as she fought for composure. Who then was Kikyou to her? That angry expression denoted hatred, or at least dislike or even jealousy. How much could be seen from the cold subterranean floor of a cave so far from the world. "Ah, I'm sorry, how thoughtless of me to compare her to you, Kagome-sama."

A snort from the girl, and she began to sharply stir the vegetables with the chopsticks in hand. "It's nothing. We look alike, that's all."

Look? Appearance? Yes, he supposed they did seem similar, though that was hardly what he meant...what was he missing? What here was still unsaid, here in the looming silence? There was power in words, and power in words unsaid. There was a quality of resentment lingering over this one. "It is so? My eye is so bad, I could not see it..." His next words were cut off by her placing a chunk of food to his mouth, silencing him, the clay pot of vegetables at Kagome's side and his head lifted again with her hand, straining his neck and beginning to hurt it.

Obediently, he ate, chewing as best he could and barely swallowing before another mouthful was presented to him. His head hurt, beginning to spin. She, like Kikyou when she had first leaned over him to inspect his wounds, was cast into a mass of shadows by the candle, illuminated by the dim light and accenting the beautiful darkness of her face. How wonderful it would be, to possess that kind of black beauty, hinged with fire. And here, as a dying cripple, he could never possess it. Somewhere, near here, existed the Shikon no Tama, that could give such power. But with this body, he could never claim it. No, this body was corrupt and vile. There was no healing for him. Though in their magical world, there was always a way...lying and being fed by this resentful priestess, he would have much time to consider it. There was always, always a way.

He swallowed and slept, food no longer accepted when Kagome pressed it upon him. For the first time during her time spent there, she looked him in the face, seeing one eye closed and shaking, already manipulated by some dream, breath scraping into and from his open mouth. Sleep, wonderful sleep. She edged away, setting his head down and turning aside to scoot away from him, breathing deeply. The air was rank with the sweet candle smell, and of herbs. They seemed more foul than anything she cared to be in, and scrambled away from the prone figure, his breath unnaturally loud to her ears as she climbed back out of the cave and into the light.

The nearest tree offered support. She clung to it, gripping the bark hard enough to crush it in her hands and tear it from the tree. She had helped him, listened to him speak. And she still had to return to the cave, even if only for a short time, to collect her things. Technically, she should also fix the bandages, though they seemed well enough...Kaede was good at that in her time, she apparently was in this time as well, even lacking the decades of practice.

Her stomach heaved, but she kept down her breakfast, despite feeling acid rise in her throat and sting. Home...she wanted to go home! This wasn't fair...it wasn't fair and she hated this place, this time, this duty, this life. She was supposed to be with her friends, her family, her loved ones. Without them, how alone she was...it wasn't fair. She wanted them back. They were hers to be with, hers to love and be a part of. Though if she did...if she did claim them again for her own, then she would have to march back into that cave with a smile on her face and continue this charade of her being some traveling miko from some nonexistent city called Tokyo that hadn't been created yet.

She would be acting just as Kikyou would, doing the correct thing, even if it made her ache for her friends. But Kikyou defied it all...fell in love, wanted to leave it...with Inuyasha. Her Inuyasha. Their Inuyasha. Leave the loneliness, just like she did right now. Her loneliness was sharp and new and compiled into a gut wrenching few days. Kikyou's was dull and long lasting, dragged out and constant.

In that one way, at least, they were alike. Both wanted, more than anything, when alone, to run.


Hum, you know this fic is mostly dark, so I'm occasionally trying to lighten things just a smidge...hence the teasing personalities of the couple in the beginning of the chapter. Hope that alleviates it somewhat...^^;

I also had an interesting time with the temporal aspects in the fic...I don't think it's ever actually said how long Onigumo was stuck in the cave, or how long Kikyou was taking care of him. With severe burns like that, and in the sengoku jidai without life support, modern medicine, etc...I doubt he'd last long. But there also had to be enough time for Kikyou to repetitively come meet him...so. This is my estimate. By sending Kikyou away, I also had to put Kagome in the position to meet the injured Onigumo.

The youkai battle served in a couple functions. For starters, I wondered why Onigumo/Naraku had a spider shaped scar...concidence or not? Turns out that in the mostly filler episode 87, you can see a spider scar already on Onigumo's back. So I guess it wasn't a product of the burning, according to the anime. Also, I wasn't sure if there would be many youkai in the local vicinity (due to the Shikon no Tama) or few (due to Kikyou persistently chasing them off). A battle solved both situations. And apparently made pointless my concern over the scar. Ep. 87 also shows that Onigumo was burned away from the cave and tossed there. Since it added some backstory that seemed to make fine sense (as opposed to a giant rampaging hairball in an earlier filler episode...-_-;) I decided to use that explanation. Besides, it's anime canon, at least.

Til next chapter, 'Tumbling Down'
~Queen