Through A Mirror Darkly
I wish that I could turn back time
cos now the guilt is all mine
can't live without the trust from the ones you love.
I know we can't forget the past
you can't forget love and pride
because of that it's killing me inside.
-Komm Stusser Todd, The End of Evangelion
Chapter 7- Tumbling dowN
The light shuffling sound of feet barely perturbed the quiet of the evening, now settling from its daily glow into a star spangled nightfall, a knife edge of blood red heaven still severing the land from the sky. After a moment, there was a childish laugh.
"So there are stories about people who look like that?" Kaede was covering her mouth, trying to smother the giggles over the concept of what Kagome had just described to her. Kagome, for her part, had a bemused smile, glad to be making light of the situation- it took away some fear- but there was still a sense of gravity about it. Either way, she was glad Kaede found it funny, and she was a bit contagious.
"The pyramids are far from here though...the...ah, plays...are old, but they usually involve some curse on the body, and then some explorers find it...and then the mummy comes alive and wants to eat their brains or some weird thing, and chases the heroes around and acts scary."
"That doesn't sound too scary," Kaede commented, trying not to laugh too hard. It made that creepy Onigumo guy a little less...creepy...to think of him as some deranged dead guy in bandages. "At least he's not actually dead on top of it. Probably would make a funny story, but in reality?" She shuddered, wrinkling her nose and trying to think of some undead person wandering around and trying to survive with their soul already in the otherworld. "That would be wrong...and sad." After a moment, she realized Kagome was not about to reply, and glanced upward at her companion, seeing her expression tighten again, lips pressed thin and gentle eyes hard. She kept doing that, and it made Kaede curious as to why. One moment joking, the next reminded of who knew what, making her tense and anxious. "Kagome-sama? Are you all right?"
She blinked, coming out of some reverie, and smiled politely down at Kaede as they reached the steps leading up to the courtyard of the jinja. Sad and wrong, yes, she supposed being undead was sad and wrong...to be woken from an eternal sleep that should never be interrupted. Though to share those thoughts with the current form of Kaede would mostly likely seem disturbing. There were times Kagome knew the girl was watching her, with the sight that would eventually become that of the grandmotherly woman she knew from her sengoku jidai. Kaede, even as a child, was shrewd and thoughtful. Still, there was no way for the girl to guess who or what or when Kagome was from. She was safe there, so long as she never had a confidante.
"Yes, I'm fine," she replied, looking a bit sheepish for staring off into space. "Sorry."
Kaede shrugged, yawning and stretching her arms as she placed a hand on the railing. "You looked far away." What could she be worried about? Kagome'd been there a few days now, and they got along well. The look was worried, but not angry or particularly determined, so it may not be concern for taking over the tama, though that was entirely possible. She tried another tactic. "Thinking of home?"
Her question was rewarded with a deep sigh, affirming her half suspicion. "Not exactly, but...this place does remind me of my home," she admitted, eyes casting around in the softly sunset darkness, then to the leafy, shadowy figure of the Goshinboku. Her foot stilled on the first step of the stairs. "It's larger at home..." Of course, that made sense. Another five hundred years of growth would do that to a tree. But it was the same tree. Younger, unscarred with an arrow and the fifty year sleep of a half youkai pinned to its trunk. "Kaede-chan, why don't you head up? I'm going to stay here for a minute."
A soft smile was on the girl's face. Kagome hadn't exactly cheered up when looking at the tree, but she seemed happier somehow, somewhat wistful and nostalgic. If thinking of her home made her feel better, and the old tree helped that, then she was all for it. Kagome was too nice to be sad all the time. It was too much like onee-sama. It didn't seem like her usual character. "Sure. I'll get your futon out for you." Another yawn overtook her. "It's late, and more getting up early tomorrow. I thought onee-sama would be home by now, but maybe she'll get here in the morning."
"That's possible," Kagome agreed as Kaede began to head up the steps. "And thanks. Oyasumi nasai."
Kaede waved back and darted up the steps, calling back, "Oyasumi, Kagome-sama! See you in the morning!" Kagome waved back for a moment until Kaede was well on her way, back turned and leaping the steps two at a time, just for fun. It was so strange seeing her as spry as that. Not that Kaede-obaachan was particularly slow for her age, but in comparison to her youth...with a light chuckle, Kagome set her bow down and laid it against the railing, swinging her quiver over her shoulder to keep it company for awhile. The empty little clearing of hard packed dirt was smooth to her sandaled feet, occasionally feeling a sharp stone through one of her soles.
The thick foliage of the tree rustled in the light wind, and Kagome placed a hand on the rough bark, feeling it scratch at her skin. Lying against this for years would have to be annoying and painful, with little bits of wood constantly pressing into your back. Of course, Inuyasha's haori was thick and strong...perhaps it wouldn't be that bad. She blinked. Inuyasha?
Slowly, she tilted her head upwards to look into the spidery arms of the tree, the leaves lush enough to camouflage even bright colors. Like red. A frown quirked her lips. No, she was sure now, not having been paying attention. Kagome was very accustomed to the usual, constant presence of Inuyasha's hanyou youki. It wasn't a threat to her, and so she brushed its proximity aside. Her frown deepened, and she quirked an eyebrow. Was she just imagining things?
"Inuyasha, are you up there?"
Silence.
"If you are, please come down."
There was a little more silence, a rustle. Then, "You're that other one."
Her curiously puzzled expression grew instantly annoyed. "I told you what my name was."
He dropped down a branch or two, eyeing her doubtfully from above. "I don't remember telling you mine."
"Eh..." Kagome stuttered, backing away from the tree and hoping to find a way to avoid answering the question. He definitely would not believe the truth. Yes, Inuyasha, I'm from five hundred years in the future...or fifty, depending on how you look at it. I'm the reincarnation of a person who's still alive. How's that possible? Well, I just said I was from the future. Obviously. "You've been around here awhile, so I guess you've gotten famous." Or infamous. She wasn't sure the general consensus in the area. Probably the latter, if anyone knew who he was. Kaede-chan didn't seem to, not really. His reaction was to lift an eyebrow, sizing her up again. Then he stiffened as his gaze reached her neck.
"You have it! What do you have it for!" Dropping to the ground, Kagome suddenly found her breath snatched away as a claw encircled her neck and she was being stared down by a fully furious Inuyasha, hearing his free hand cracking in readiness to strike.
Her hands jerked upward automatically, grabbing at his wrist as though that would hold him still, and keep from choking her. She could feel the sharpness of his nails pressing into her skin, but not breaking. The Shikon no Tama. The solid round lump of it was gracing her neck, tucked away just under the white fabric of her miko robes. Inuyasha, this was Inuyasha, he wouldn't hurt her...but it wasn't her Inuyasha. The rules were different here. These days were not the days to come. What was he thinking? That she had taken it? That Kikyou had left him? That Kikyou was dead and Kagome was the replacement? That he now could take it, and easily? That this was his chance? Had he yet chosen to become human, or did he still desire to become full youkai? That, she could not allow. Without Tessaiga, he would be beyond control as a full blooded inuyoukai. His grip tightened at her continued quiet.
"Answer!"
Startled eyes met his, pained. "You're hurting me."
Though he had been still before, he felt his blood freeze. There was no venom in her words, no anger, no fury, no fear, no terror. There was surprise. Genuine, honest, clear surprise, written so cleanly in her expressive eyes, so wide with the unwritten emotion that the anger and confusion at her possession of the tama suddenly faded into nothingness. That kind of reaction suggested trust, uninhibited trust, her surprise coming from a betrayal of that trust. But he didn't know her. Not beyond her name. Not beyond their brief meeting. There was no reason for either of them to trust the other. He should be suspicious of her, for looking and smelling so like Kikyou, for having the precious Shikon no Tama around her neck. She should be suspicious of him, a dangerous hanyou who could crush her throat in an instant if he wanted to.
Some impulse in his mind urged him to apologize, to redeem himself and regain that trust from her, so undeserved and unexpected. Suddenly frightened of that feeling, he jerked away, growling instead, leaving her to lift a hand to her throat and rub her skin where he had touched it. The tama was hard, and she could feel it pulsating beneath the thin protection of her clothing. If he took it from her now, then everything meant nothing. Her preoccupation with what to do about Onigumo, her concern for guarding the tama entirely alone. This was not her Inuyasha. He might do that. No subduing spells, no trust, no blooming affection.
Fear, distrust, suspicion. That was all he would feel towards Higurashi Kagome in this time.
He was glaring at her reproachfully, and she guessed he was beginning to regret releasing her, despite what she knew was his better judgment. This may not be her Inuyasha, but he was in there...somewhere. "Kikyou was called away for awhile." Her voice was rough. "An emergency. There was a battle between youkai not too far from here." Meeting his eyes, he seemed to be following her so far. He surely had been able to smell the blood on the wind, and had suspect something was happening. "There were people hurt, and many youkai were killed. She went to bury them properly, so their remains wouldn't call more to the village later."
"So she left you," his voice dripped with sarcasm, and she flinched. "To guard it? Ha!"
It was just Inuyasha being an arrogant jerk, she reminded herself. He did that still, in her time. Much less lately, but she remembered their early journeys. Gathering herself together again, she took a deep breath and shot back her most scathing glare, the kind that usually earned him a good hard osuwari. Just no osuwari this time. To her surprise and pleasure, he looked startled at her abrupt rally. She wasn't out of this argument yet. "If I thought you were any real danger, then I would have brought my arrows. But they're wasted on you, after all." Careful, girl, don't provoke him too much. She bluffed further, mingling it with truth. "I already blasted some ratty little snake today, and I think you'd be an easier target. You're lots bigger."
He snorted derisively. "Feh. Like you could even hit me."
Now that, that was her usual Inuyasha! She couldn't help but smile, trying vainly to fight it away.
"What are you grinning about?"
"Eh..." she shook her head, trying not to answer again. "You just reminded me of someone for a second." She waved a hand in dismissal and laughed nervously. "No insult. Really."
He looked narrowly suspicious for a second, arms folded. Then he snorted again, and turned away, frowning. This was a good opportunity to take the tama. She was unarmed, she was vulnerable, she was not Kikyou. It would be easy. Within a few seconds, it would be in his hands, all he had to do was spring. And it would be his. That was all. He would be powerful, full blooded, and wouldn't need anyone or anything. But she was watching him, waiting for him to say something. And she was unarmed, she was vulnerable, and she was not Kikyou. It would be easy. All he had to do was spring. Rip it from her. Kill her.
She tilted her head to the side, expectantly. A few moments ago, he had a hand around her throat and was ready to crush it if she responded wrong. Again, there was that damnable expression of trust on her face. All that remained of that grip was her hand lightly resting on her collarbone, an absent, reassuring touch. For some insane reason, this Kagome girl honestly didn't believe that he'd hurt her. It was the same as their first meeting. It made no sense. Who the hell was she? It was confusing. He was sure he didn't know her. She wasn't Kikyou. There was no reason to trust her in return. No affinity was formed between them. No understanding.
And yet, it was there.
"Feh. You're lucky I don't feel like killing you right now. Others won't be so merciful." The warning sounded hollow to his ears, and he was sure it rang the same way to hers. Dammit. Before she could react, he sprang away, into the Goshinboku, and then deeper into the forest, running just to get away from that honest, kind face that was looking so forlornly after him.
Kagome squeezed shut her eyes for a moment, wishing for a moment that she could cry. Her throat constricted and her chest ached, a different kind of sickly reaction to the presence of someone she knew from her own sengoku jidai. One part of her mind reminded her to be glad she had not flung her arms around him at some point just to know he was real. And for a moment, he was her Inuyasha, the same argumentative baka that she knew and loved so much. It hurt...it physically hurt. Now he was running away from her, off into the forest, off in the direction that Kikyou had gone. Probably off chasing after her, now that he knew she was even remotely in danger. The more things change, the more they stay the same. She balled up her fits, then opened her eyes and expelled a great breath, stomping her foot on the ground. She'd made it this far. Burying herself in bitter memories that actually had happened would only make things worse. Forget about them, just for now. Just for the rest of the evening. Sleep. Tomorrow will start fresh, and...who knew what tomorrow would bring? A way home? Some hope for a solution to this insanity? Every fiber of her being screamed to go home, to Inuyasha and the others, or to Mama, Souta and Jii-chan. Though it also screamed not to let Naraku be born. His death was one of the twin purposes of her life: assemble the tama, kill Naraku.
Her hands were shaking; she tugged the collar of her gi up higher around her neck. If there were bruises, she didn't want them to be seen. That would require answers she wasn't ready to give. Breathing unevenly, she went back to the steps and retrieved her tall bow and the quiver of arrows, slinging them back around her shoulders while trying to keep a determined attitude as she climbed the steps.
There had to be a way home. There had to be a purpose to all this. Why was she here? Just some random malfunction of the well? Did temporal anomalies even have malfunctions? It was actually kind of annoying, putting it that way. Like some busted up computer system. Mou...this wasn't Star Trek after all.
She stopped suddenly, blinking. Upon reaching the top of the steps, she found herself facing a hazy yellow wall, shifting with the rainbow colors of a soap bubble yet to be burst. So completely unexpected, it took a second for her to realize that there was a field now sailing upward over the empty courtyard of the jinja. Her eyes widened in shock. No, no, Naraku wasn't Naraku yet! He couldn't possibly have...no, Kikyou was away, he couldn't be here...besides, it took him time before he could make shields to defend and hide himself from detection. And that was fifty years from now, a newborn Naraku definitely couldn't do that! Then who or what was keeping her out? Wait. Kaede!
Banging her fists onto the event horizon of the dome, she began pounding and scratching her way along the outer edge, wishing there was some groove in the smoothness of the shell. There had to be a way in. No red Tessaiga to cut through. No Tessaiga. "Kaede! Kaede-chan, can you hear me? Kaede!" If the younger girl got in, then there had to be a way to get inside.
Flat handed, she smacked her palm against it, suddenly feeling it give way beneath her, the shield evaporating and letting her stumble forward onto the stone pavilion of the main walkway. She hadn't done anything to open it...so then, someone else did.
She looked up. If she had not, then she wouldn't have had time enough to spin aside, feeling the wind of a passing talon slice downward through the air she had vacated in the same instant.
A flood of youki nearly overwhelmed her, slipping slyly over her mind with almost dizzying speed, contained by the now diminished shield. Several species of minor youkai were hovering around the trees, and a large snake was twined around the usual shrine of the Shikon no Tama, currently empty. In one of the trees, movement caught her eye, and she saw a jerking bundle spinning around from a branch, a spider with legs the size of Kagome's arm dangling it. As it turned, she spotted a very angry face peeping from the top, fighting for her life.
"Kaede!"
Her movement forward earned her another swipe from the large talonlike thing that had nearly struck her earlier, slashing downward and nearly shaving off the front of Kagome's face, had she not jerked backward in time. Pebbles flew up at the force of the blow, leaving a small crater in the wake of the departing talon. The harsh motion sent Kagome flying backward in a hail of sliding arrows, pebbles and dust, off balance as she crashed to the hard ground in avoidance, a shock vibrating through her bones as pain rushed in.
A sharp cracking sounded, and Kagome gasped for air.
"My. How terribly rude not to acknowledge your opponent, miko-sama," a coy female voice chided, sounding from several lengths above Kagome, still twisted on the ground. Pulling herself upward, Kagome tilted up her face to see multiple sets of brown eyes peering down at her, two set humanly, the other six arching up over her forehead like some hideous crown, encircled by smooth, straight black hair. Human shoulders led to human arms, though from there the body of the youkai turned black, leading to the two sections of the spider's body, and six legs keeping the enormous weight uplifted, each leg armed at the end with a jagged knifelike protrusion, the dangerous sickle that nearly cut her in half. The voice, so human, nearly purred. "I'm surprised you haven't been awaiting me, Kikyou-sama. I've been so eager to meet you, now that I won that silly little battle."
Scars traced her sides. They were not completely covered by the fine, stiff black hairs that covered most of her body. There had been two, Kagome remembered, two, likely taiyoukai, that had met on the battlefield between the villages. It had not been an easy battle...her words were arrogance. But she was the one who lived and walked away. A few days to recuperate, heal. Then to here, to claim the spoil of her battle. The Shikon no Tama. Now held by Kagome.
"What? You may rise, fight if you like," the spider woman teased, hands folding up under her chin with mock politeness. "Oh, too bad? Did you fall and break yourself already?"
The shots of pain that stabbed Kagome at the fall were dulling. She moved. Her arms, her legs, trying to get to her feet. She succeeded with a crouch, hands groping for her fallen bow and scattered arrows. This was nothing. No, this wasn't that bad. She'd hit that silly snake, and now she'd hit this big spider. An arrow appeared in her hand. Then her bow, which was limp. Limp?
Her eyes jerked downward to see the broken shaft of her bow dangling between her fingers, splintered edges jutting outward like a shattered bone. A startled cry escaped her lips before she could silence it. The wood had broken. She had broken it with her own weight!
A slight sigh breezed through the air, and she returned her horrified gaze to the giant spider, who looked unnaturally disappointed. "Well, you're not broken, but your weapon is. Pity. I was looking forward to a fight over the tama, now that you've brought it, but I hardly think I shouldn't take advantage. I, Utagai, will be your opponent." A malicious smile formed on her human face, reflected in the multiple sets of eyes. "Though apparently not for long."
The bladed end of her leg whistled downward as her body was raised upward, far beyond Kagome's reach. With a bow, she could shoot into the creature's soft abdomen, but without it, there was no propulsion. She couldn't just throw it that hard. Panic jerked her fist back, and she stabbed upward and out with the slender arrow in her hand. The metal tip impacted onto a hard layer of chitinous exoskeleton, jointed armor to protect the softer body within. Still, the arrow was in Kagome's hand, and not without some sting of power.
Utagai's leg jerked upward, sizzling as she reared backward with a hiss. Taking the moment to run, Kagome bolted forward, rushing towards Kaede and using the sharp arrowhead to slice through the silk strands of the smaller spiders web, now trying to scuttle downward, fangs bared as Kagome frantically ripped the webbing off of Kaede, her face slowly buried while she dangled. Coughing and gasping for air, Kaede stumbled forward at Kagome's incessant tugging, attempting to get away from the minor youkai and the danger it presented behind them, as the angry taiyoukai before them began rearing up and backward.
The malicious expression of the giant spider was regressing into the emotionless fixture of a spider's head. The humanoid eyes had become obsidian, circular, her arms extending into a final set of legs, eight total. From her mouth formed the pinching fangs that spiders used to drain their prey, sharp and loaded with venom. A hiss that ended in a near squeal sounded, and the minor youkai hovering hesitated as their mistress selected the two girls before her as her victims, not to be touched by them. They were hers. Her transformation was complete.
Kaede was on her feet, grabbing at Kagome's long white sleeves as she stared up at the monstrous change occurring before her, the vapid youki now swirling almost visibly in the air. Her voice trembled. "Kagome-sama..."
Still a little girl, the Kaede of this era. Unarmed and facing a huge youkai. She was still a little girl. Little girls, children...they weren't supposed to be standing before creatures like this. Kagome's hand grew tight on the girl's shoulder. "Run to the village. Get any help you can. Go. Quickly!"
Too terrified to object, she broke into a dead run for the steps while Kagome painstakingly slipped a hand under the collar of her robe to withdraw the Shikon no Tama. The gleaming light of the jewel glittered across the faceted eyes of the youkai, turning her head to fixate on the object of her desire. The single, slender arrow in Kagome's hand seemed like little more than a willow wand, decorated with white fletching.
For a moment, she thought the distraction worked. The stiff neck and head that had begun following Kaede swiveled back to face Kagome, and the segmented legs inched forward as Utagai's body lowered for attack. Kagome still had no plan. But in that moment, one thing was clear- get Kaede away. Just that. Protect what you can.
Then Utagai's heavy body swung heavily, and the large half of her body arched, a stream of milky webbing sailing forward from her spinnerets like a lasso, snagging around Kaede's ankles and sending her smashing to the ground.
There was no expression on the arachnid's face, but Kagome could feel amusement radiating from her. She was playing. The child was not to leave. Barely stirring, her palms badly scraped from catching herself, Kaede was suddenly jerked backward and onto her face again as Utagai tugged her backward. It was a sick game. Kagome was suddenly reminded of her mother chiding her as a child not to play with her food.
It was just the two of them. Nobody else. No Sango with hiraikotsu. No Miroku with his kazaana or houkiri. No Inuyasha...no Inuyasha with his claws or sword. Inuyasha was running away now. Running in the opposite direction, towards the other village, following the smell of blood. Chasing the rumor of Kikyou. Running the opposite way of Kagome. Because Kagome had told him where to find her.
A sharp scream sounded from Kaede as she was jerked backward again, forcing Kagome to run forward and attempt to sever the line. "Kaede-chan, hold on!"
At the sound of Kagome's voice, Kaede twisted hopefully towards a possible rescue coming. She did see that, the intent expression on Kagome's face, the determination, the desperation. But Kaede saw more; she saw a large scythe of a spider leg shearing the air behind Kagome, silently crashing down, down, down.
"Kagome-sama!"
Sharp as steel, the claw bit into her back. There was no time to scream in shock, in pain. There was no air to breathe, no air to feed sound had any attempted to tear from her throat. There was no world, because it had slipped into darkness, brightened only by the sight of one of her white long sleeves flying outward as she twisted, smacked forward with the sharp end of a jagged knife. Her eyes went wide, unseeing. There was no pain as she fell onto the hard stones.
A light sound echoed in her ears, close. The sound of glass falling onto stone, ringing slightly as though it had been dropped, but not quite hard enough to break. Soft, glittering lilac light formed in the center of her bleak tunnel vision, coalescing into a ball of white fire before her eyes.
It was going to be taken. All her efforts, both before this nightmare began and now during it, in vain. The coveted Shikon no Tama would be swallowed up by some arachnid she had never heard of. How pointless.
Kaede was still screaming her name. To get up. Alone.
Her transparent fingers slowly curled around the ball, and she prayed.
Someone...please...it can't end this way.
As the thoughts slid across her mind, a whistle broke through the air. Light accompanied it, brightening the darkness and piercing it with a single ray. Her mind clouded, Kagome turned up her heavy eyes and saw a single, white fletched arrow protruding from the reeling body of the monster called Utagai. The panicked flailing of legs and body was enough signal for the accompanying creatures to speed forward, to attack, to aid their leader.
Metal jangled and the smell of blood exploded into the air as a chain scythe soared through the sky and sliced as it passed overhead. Its almost musical ring was accompanied by a second jangle, the repeated whistle of an arrow, and the thwocking sound of its impact into the cephalothorax of Utagai, just behind the blinding eyes.
There were dark blurs on the edges of Kagome's vision, growing thicker, but streaks shaped like people were dissecting the secondary threats, while more white arrows sailed into the air. Silken strands began to spin out and up, catching the winds as Utagai attempted escape, all torn through by one well placed arrow.
A heavy crash sounded the end of the battle. All else was was turning to pitch.
Kagome could feel her red blood seeping into the whiteness of her clothes.
Oyasumi nasai- Good night!
Utagai- doubt
Er, not quite a cliffhanger. Since there are more chapters, I think you all can pretty well guess Kagome is going to survive her injury. ^^;
Early on, before seeing the filler ep. 87, I wanted a large spider youkai around...or at least, a lot of spider youkai around...as a connection to Onigumo's scar. Of course, this is kind of a moot point now. But Utagai still worked as far as plot and things go, so she didn't get cut out after all. I also got to this scene and realized I never picked any name for her...I also was going to have her be male, but then I thought about it and went, uh, duh, male spiders aren't nearly as dangerous...so Utagai turned into a female. When I went to pick a name, I picked up my Japanese-English dictionary, opened it to a random page, and the first word I saw was 'doubt.' It seemed to fit the story. So, for a bad pun...Kagome has now been literally stricken by doubt.
Special thanks to my wonderful beta Mina Maxwell for helping me find out what kind of skeletal structure a giant rampaging spider youkai would have. Apparently the correct answer is chitin. ^_^
Chapter music this time includes: Stabat Mater and Romance, by Sasha Lazard, from her The Myth of Red cd.
And this time...an omake! (Can you believe it for an angst ridden fic like this?)
Til next chapter, To Be Your Happiness
~Queen
~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~Omake~
The gleaming light of the jewel glittered across the faceted eyes of the youkai, turning her head to fixate on the object of her desire. The single, slender arrow in Kagome's hand seemed like little more than a willow wand, decorated with white fletching.
Kagome, wielding her wand, suddenly knew exactly what to do. She'd read about it before. With a great cry, she shouted, "Wingardium Leviosa!"
And the furious giant spider was suddenly suspended in midair.
Utagai: Where the hell is this in the script!
Kagome: It's omake. I get to win here. (flashes victory sign) See? It pays to be literate.
